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The Roofur Review

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Do you have a satirical news story you'd like published? The Roofur Review--the most reliable news source in Andolia, The West Pacific, and the world--is now accepting submissions from across the region. 

Based in Cangham, Overthinkers, the Review aims to bring some levity to the often-intense international politics scene. Because what are politics for except to be mocked? (Running a country, you say? Preposterous.) 

Spoiler

[OOC] Submission Guidelines:

  1. Include a name and nation for the "writer"--for example "Carl Marks, Overthinkers". The Review's in-house team, based in Overthinkers, mainly covers Andolia but accepts submissions from aspiring satirists around TWP.
  2. Ideally, submissions should have at least 3-4 paragraphs. By submitting to the Review, you grant our editors permission to edit for grammar, change titles, and/or add an appropriate photo.
  3. This is for RP articles, not articles on GP and players OOC. Examples would be "BREAKING: Fujaian sees another Fujaian" or "Darkesian government very intimidated by Crandolan tariffs".
  4. Preferred submission format is DMing me a Google Docs link (Forum or Discord), though other submissions will be accepted within reason. 

 

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About Us

In a dark dorm room at Cangham University, communications major Ryan Saunders was having a crisis. He had less than 24 hours to turn in his idea for his senior project, and any ideas he had had so far had been taken by classmates. The oressure was becoming unbearable.

Then a light pierced the darkness as his roommate, Jerry Poole, entered the room. Jerry had in hand a freshly-graded paper from another communications class. The assignment had been to write a mock news article, but Jerry's was so dripping with satire and sarcasm that the professor had failed it, noting that it “reeked worse than marsupial dung”.

As Ryan looked over his friend's paper, the gears of his mind slowly began to turn. And thus was the Roofur Review born.

 

Our Staff

Ryan Saunders

Editor in Chief, Advertising Director

Ryan's dream is to someday make his living off the Review. Unfortunately that is a long ways off, so he had to get a real job selling advertisements for a news outlet in Cangham. He got an A on the project, by the way,

Jerry Poole

Head Writer, Editor

Jerry has been writing satire since he could type. He subsists on the hatred of internet commentors and humorless professors. Since graduating from Cangham he has moved to an undisclosed location where OTBI can never find him.

Sydney Gardner

Technical Director

Ryan and Jerry know nothing of how to build a website so they hold their friend Sydney prisoner and force her to fix things for them. She hasn't seen sunlight for two years. Please send help.

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Dilberian Rugby Team Mascot Tells Schoolkids “Say Yes to Drugs”

by Jerry Poole, Head Writer

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With Rugby World Cup hype sweeping The West Pacific, figures in the world of rugby have been looking to use their platform to be a force for change in the region. Dopey, the Dilberian national team mascot, is no exception. In between matches, he has been busy visiting Dilberian schools, encouraging kids to “say yes to drugs”.

“Drugs are the coolest,” Dopey told one class in Dilber City Middle School, through a mascot-to-Dilberian interpreter. “Just look at all the amazing things you can do.” He then showed the children a video of 11-year-old rugby player Frank Henry getting steamrolled by a hefty Fujansk player, only to pop up unharmed immediately.

The Last Legitimate Minister of Education in Dilber reports that his office has gotten numerous calls from concerned parents, but has been shrugging them off. “I see no problem here,” he told the Review.

“The Dopin' Dogs are fully committed to educating children on the truth about drug use,” national team coach Ivan Mihovolivic said in a press release. “Namely the unquestionable benefits. Just think, no more children will be bullied if they can all bench press a small car, would they?”

Keep following the Roofur Review as we continue to follow this story, as well as investigate the needle shortage developing in Aura.

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Eareamian man gets mad at a Korea Eastern for owning a poodle

 

Why Does He Get Angry So quick? Can't She Control Her Emotions ...

A man from Eareamland recently got mad while visiting Korea east for seeing his neighbour owning a poodle.

He wished for a seaside vacation, and he got to see a poodle.The enraged man called security claiming that "Poodles are illegal." He was promptly escorted to the border. He then returned, with a shotgun, and shot the poodle with 5 rounds. The poodle survived, but he didn't. The shells bounced into him, killing himself. Some would say it's suicide with extra steps.

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Zoranian Civil War Rated #1 TV Drama in Overthinkers

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by Jerry Poole, Head Writer

AURUM, Overthinkers — The National University of Aurum’s College of Fine Arts released its annual TV ratings study for 1420, and to no one’s surprise, the hard-hitting international drama Civil War Zoran demolished local productions such as Law and Disorder and Joan of Accounting.

Political dramas have consistently outperformed other subgenres in Overthinkers by wide margins,” the study stated. “However, Civil War Zoran is the first Auran production to gain this much traction in local markets.”

The study also notes that international governments’ attempts to involve themselves in the plot generated a lot of interest within Overthinkers. Some Civil War fans have even lobbied Aurum to do the same, though as of press time President Auguste has refused to oblige.

Civil War has also drawn its fair share of criticism from both the industry and the public. The show’s unorthodox advertising methods, including frequent spots on nightly news broadcasts across several networks, turned off many viewers. Social media sites have regularly blown up with angry calls for networks to not concern themselves with shows from distant lands.

The producers of Civil War Zoran could not be reached for comment due to ongoing technical difficulties in the area.

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