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Welcome to TWP's first summer Olympics, hosted in the Cambrian capital city of Saint-Josalyn! For the first time, athletes from all across the West Pacific gather in one place to represent their nations in all the summer sports, compete with each other, and take home the gold! The games will start tomorrow, but tonight all the dignitaries, celebrities, athletes and fans have packed into the arena to witness the lighting of the Olympic torch, the parade of nations, and the opening ceremonies. How are your athletes celebrating this first ever ceremony, and what are they doing to prepare for the games?


For any OOC comments or questions, please ask on discord or in the OOC thread.
Check the results here!



Day 0 - 7 June

Opening Ceremony

Day 1 - 8 June
Scorinated by Reçueçn: Cutoff time 20:00 UTC

4x200 m Medley Relay Swim
Archery Individual
400 m Run
1500 m Run
Canoe Slalom
Kayak Slalom
Mountain Biking Individual
Gymnastics Floor Exercise
Badminton Singles Stage 1
Badminton Doubles Stage 1
MD 1 Handball, Lacrosse

8 Medal Finals

Day 2 - 9 June
Scorinated by Reçueçn: Cutoff time 20:00 UTC

10k Run
High Jump
Shot Put
Gymnastics Balance Beam
One-Person Dinghy Sailing
Badminton Singles Finals
Badminton Doubles Finals
Lightweight Boxing Stage 1
Heavyweight Boxing Stage 1
MD 2 Handball, Lacrosse
MD 1 Baseball, Basketball, Football, Rugby Sevens, Volleyball, Water Polo

8 Medal Finals

Day 3 - 10 June
Scorinated by Reçueçn: Cutoff time 20:00 UTC

Pole Vault
Cycling Track Team Sprint
Equestrian Individual Dressage
Gymnastics Uneven Bars
Lightweight Boxing Finals
Heavyweight Boxing Finals
Fencing Individual Foil
Tennis Doubles Stage 1
MD 3 Handball, Lacrosse
MD 2 Baseball, Basketball, Football, Rugby Sevens, Volleyball, Water Polo

7 Medal Finals

Day 4  - 11 June
Scorinated by Reçueçn: Cutoff time 20:00 UTC

3 m Springboard Diving
4x100 m Relay Run
Long Jump
Equestrian Team Dressage
Gymnastics Parallel Bars
Rowing Coxed Eights
Fencing Individual Foil Finals
Tennis Doubles Finals
Judo Individual Stage 1
MD 3 Baseball, Basketball, Football, Rugby Sevens, Volleyball, Water Polo

9 Medal Finals

Day 5  - 12 June
Scorinated by Reçueçn: Cutoff Time TBD

10 m Platform Diving
10 km Marathon Swim
110 m Hurdles
Javelin Throw
Canoe 1000 m Sprint
Equestrian Individual Jumping
Gymnastics Rings
Judo Individual Finals
Karate Kata Individual Stage 1
Octofinals Lacrosse
MD 4 Baseball, Basketball, Football, Rugby Sevens, Volleyball, Water Polo

8 Medal Finals

Day 6  - 13 June
Scorinated by Fujai: Cutoff time 2:00 UTC (after midnight)

1500 m Freestyle Swim
200 m Backstroke
Hammer Throw
Kayak 200 m Sprint
Equestrian Team Jumping
Gymnastics Vault
Gymnastics Individual All-Around
Rowing Coxless Fours
Karate Kata Individual Finals
Karate Kumite Individual Stage 1
Quarterfinals Handball, Lacrosse
Octofinals Baseball, Basketball, Football, Rugby Sevens, Volleyball, Water Polo

9 Medal Finals

Day 7  - 14 June
Scorinated by Fujai: Cutoff time 2:00 UTC (after midnight)

200 m Freestyle Swim
200 m Breastroke Swim
Discus Throw
Road Cycling Time Trial
Gymnastics Balance Beam
Rowing Single Sculls
Multihull Sailing
Trap Shooting
Karate Kumite Individual Finals
Freestyle Wrestling Stage 1
Semifinals Handball, Lacrosse
Quarterfinals Baseball, Basketball, Football, Rugby Sevens, Volleyball, Water Polo

8 Medal Finals

Day 8  - 15 June
Scorinated by Fujai: Cutoff time 2:00 UTC (after midnight)

200 m Butterfly Swim
100 m Run
Gymnastics Uneven Bars
Cycling Track Sprint
10 m Air Pistol
Park Skateboarding
Freestyle Wrestling Finals
Gymnastics Team All-Around Stage 1
Tennis Singles Stage 1
Handball Finals
Lacrosse Finals
Semifinals Baseball, Basketball, Football, Rugby Sevens, Volleyball, Water Polo

8 Medal Finals

Day 9  - 16 June
Scorinated by Fujai: Cutoff time 2:00 UTC (after midnight)

Closing Ceremony
10 m Air Rifle
Gymnastics Team All-Around Finals
Tennis Singles Finals
Baseball Finals
Basketball Finals
Football Finals
Rugby Sevens Finals
Volleyball Finals
Water Polo Finals

9 Medal Finals

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Welcome to Saint-Josalyn, the Cambrian capital. Located in central-eastern Tara & Cambray, Saint Josalyn is a metropolis of 5 and three quarter million souls and by far the largest city in the country. Connected by high-speed rail and highway to the rest of the nation, its place in the northern plains of Polaris is very accessible.







Reserved for additional host information.

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7 June, 14206:00 AM AMT

Zoranian Times Live!

Location: T&C Saint-Josalyn International Airport

"Good morning people of Zoran! I am Winotlisa Austenaco reporting live from the T&C Saint-Josalyn International Airport where we shall see the arrival of the Zoranian athletes for the first ever Summer Olympic Games! A lot of preparation has gone into this by the National Athletics Clan of Zoran in collaboration with the federal government to make this possible. They have gathered the best athletes in the country along with some rising stars among national teams! Rumor has it that a great parade has been arranged by NA.C.Z  for later today!"

*Gets interrupted by airport security*

"Sir please get off of the runway you are preventing the plane, of which your own athletes are arriving in, from landing."

"Oh sorry officer! We will just get out of the way!"

*Moves to the side of the runway*

"I have just been informed that the plane is landing! The NACZ has made 83 entries to the olympics with a few famous names in the sports world such as three members of the famous Ani'-Wah' family, two of which are the children of our very own president, Walela and Jistu. The third is a surprise for everyone and has been kept secret until now! She is the biggest teenage sensation of the nation! The most popular heartthrob of the nation! Teenage girls want to be her and teenage boys dream of her! She is as famous as a singer as she is an athlete as well as being the nineteen year old niece of our president! She is the beautiful...Halona Ani'-Wah'!" 

*Teenage intern drops coffee, that he just brought, off screen due to fainting*

*Plane lands on runway behind reporter and his wig is blown off of his head*

"And here they are viewers! The plane has landed! Let's see if we can get some footage of our athletes going down the steps of the plane before they reach their buses and before I pass out of exhaustion now that my coffee has on the floor!"

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Sunday 7th June 1420 - Preview of the Häřtferdsierndeambeu Ęlimpik Kęmiti

The Double-Headed Hawk descends! As we speak, the Hertfordian Olympic Team are approaching the capital of Tara and Cambray, Saint Josalyn on the Greater Anglia. The reason they have travelled by train and boat to get here is one typical of their nation. The Olympic Committee did not have a large enough plane to fit all 150+ athletes in it. Oh dear, not again.

The Olympic Team have entered competitors into every single competition the Summer Olympics can muster up. Among them is the world famous Häřtferdsierndeambeu Ragbi Junjen, the winners of the West Pacific Rugby World Cup, who will be hoping for another trophy to add to their pile. All the athletes are known for having second professions which accompany their sporting talent, due to the low population of Hertfordia, many athletes here can actually perform two sports!

All the athletes here come from various backgrounds and some are more outlandish than others. The team contains members both old and young, and even a few members picked up from the Great Pacific Ocean, back when the nation freakishly slid into the ocean. Rumours claim that the freak accident was purposely conducted by a foreign power when the Prime Minister claimed that Andolia was the best continent.

Each day, we will go through the competing athletes and teams, who they are and what it is they will be performing in. We will try not to become lost on any roundabouts, but be warned that the team is being directed to the stadium by Captain Slow himself, so don't be surprised if the team turns up in the dead of night wondering where everyone is.

If anyone is wondering what the strange man on the telly is talking about when it comes to outlandish, just pay attention because coming up is a rundown of all the individuals and teams that have joined the trip straight from the southern reaches of Andolia and further beyond. It really does stretch the definition of outlandish...

The teams are shoddily put in because of the damn local news agency screwing up the copy-paste function somehow. They also shoved in their own features in one section, and made everything low quality! They just had to be cheeky on this specific day, didn't they?!

Tell the Olympic Committee that some people will be getting fired pronto!



Hertfordia - No Barrel Bottom Left Unscraped!

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7 June 1420; 12 PM AMT; 

Zoranian Times Live!

*speaks in a whispering voice* "Good afternoon Zoran! It is I Winotlisa Austenaco and what you saw earlier today about a wig is definitely just a prank done by the editing team! I am currently in the athletes only area of the stadium where our athletes are currently practicing for their respective events. I can't be too loud or else I might get kicked out because unlike back home in Zoran, when a sign says 'Athletes Only' they will actually kick you out or send you to jail if they think you are a threat. It has been announced that the ACZ that today at 9:00 PM AMT there will be a large parade that will take up the whole main road of the city with confetti, cannons, a band, and-"

*Gets interrupted by a security guard*


"Well, looks like I got to run Zoran, time for me to perform my signature escape plan."

*Camera shows Winotlisa walking up to the security guard to talk to him and points to a spot on the security guards face before pulling out a handkerchief and covering the mouth and nose of the security guard rendering him unconscious. Winotlisa then drags the unconscious security guard and puts him in a locker before returning to the camera*

"Ok I am back people of Zoran, I will have to get out of here now but I will be back when the parade takes place! I will see you at 9:00 PM AMT!"

*Camera is lowered but is still recording*

"You did stop recording when I went to the security guard right?...No?!...What do you mean you recorded the whole thing!?...By the Spirit I need to hide because of your stupid mistake!...Give me the camera and the audio equipment I am going to have to continue alone to hide!...YOU DIDN'T STOP RECORDING AGA-"

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Lamé, pressed; foil polished; riding and hunting costumes ready; pistols and rifles cleaned ...
Edward Clarkson, Valet to His Royal Highness, Prince Marcarius, had everything in hand. Although preparing for His Highness' olympic debut was obviously not something he had done before, he had been in his service since the prince had come of age and was more than capable. Very little disturbed the calm of the prince's closest attendant. 

His Highness, on the other hand, was anything but placid. Although accomplished in all of the gentlemanly pursuits, he had never tested his skills against such talented competition before. The first olympics of The West Pacific! Wow! He had always been an open book ... and a rotten poker player ... and his face shown with excitement!

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7 June 1420; 9:00 PM AMT

Not the Zoranian Times Live!

*shakey video with camera fairly close to Winotlisa's face*

"Hello again Zoran! I am Winotlisa Austenaco and I am currently hiding in an alleyway in a trashcan to watch the Zoranian parade for the first Annual Olympics without getting caught by the police. I may not have been fired by the Zoranian Times for definitely not chloroform ragging a security officer and the recording crew definitely did not leave me for a replacement which is why I am NOT live streaming from my phone right now! I am reading the chat right now and a lot of people are telling me that I am really close to the camera but I have no idea how to fix that."

*Sound of fireworks, confetti cannons, cheering, and singing in the distance becomes more audiable*

"Ah! The parade is about to go past the alley! Time for me to get out of this trashcan unlike a certain children's cartoon puppet! There are fourteen floats in total with our athletes on top performing incredible feats as well as dancers, sports brand mascots, fire breathers, and other incredible things! The gymnastics float is my personal favorite as the gymnasts are performing incredible gymnastic feats on their float!"

*video recording flips and now shows the parade showing Winotlisa being very close to the fence blocking him from reaching the road*

"Hey! I think I see Halona over there! I will get in closer to see if I can get an interview mid-parade despite what chat is telling me! I will be the best reporter in Zoran!"

*Video shows that Winotlisa hops the fence barricade and begins to run towards the float*


*Video shows Winotlisa getting really close to the floats before getting tackled by four members of the Raven Claws that have been assigned by the Security Council to protect the athletes, especially since two children of the president are competing in the competition*

"No! I am a reporter! You can't do this to me! FREEDOM OF PRESS!!!! I AM THE DESCENDANT OF THE FIRST PRESIDENT OF ZORAN"

"Will you just shut up you delusional and dishonorable man! The Zoranian Times already notified us on your termination! You no longer have protection of the press and even if you still did you would not be protected from doing this! Plus you aren't related to the Austenaco family, Austenaco is your middle name not your clan name you disgraceful liar!"

*Phone is then taken and the face of a man wearing black sunglasses and a black and white suit appears on the video feed*

"Hello Zoranians, we are sorry for having such a dishonorable and insane man to have reported the first day of this historical event. He shall not be returning to Zoran as he has committed a crime here, remember that T&C is not Zoran in the fact that actual laws are put in place as well as enforced here so he must be held accountable. We hope that the next reporter is a bit more competent will take his place and we wish that you all enjoy the events and cheer our athletes the whole time!"

*Livestream ends leaving photo of Halona Ani'-Wah' on the feed due to chat's demand to at least see a picture*

Photo of Halona Ani'-Wah' taken in photo shoots before parade: (OOC note: image is from https://thispersondoesnotexist.com/)

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The Fuentana Olympic Contingent: Behind the Scenes

Baron Comte von Fontaine, Fuentana's Monarch, wouldn't miss it for the world. As final preparations began for the TWP Summer Olympics, the Monarch announced he would accompany the Olympic contingent and personally cheer the nation, all while rubbing elbows with the elite across the region.

After a sumptuous brunch with the monarch, the athletes returned to Boutique, a chic new hotel in Saint-Josalyn. There, they lounged for an hour and a half before donning their official uniforms and making way to the opening ceremony.

Fuentana's athletes had a surprise in store. When their nation made their way out for the parade, the basketball team pulled out bluetooth speakers and blasted Crab Rave. Then, team by team, they flossed and moonwalked to introduce each other. The last tandem of athletes to be introduced were the nation's sole men's 4 x 400m relay team, who fashioned themselves into an a cappella quartet called Botched Handoff. They gave a stirring rendition of Fuentana's national anthem. 

Time will tell whether the fancy footwork of Fuentana's Olympians will translate into glory on the track, the basketball court, or the baseball diamond. But the optimism is palpable among these athletes and their monarch. 


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Day 1 of the Summer Olympics: A Tale of Chickens
Many Novasamitans are thrilled for this year's Summer Olympics, to be broadcast on Channel 2 and the Nysportessen channel. Novasamitan Airways reported a surge in flight bookings to Saint-Josalyn in the days preceding the opening ceremony, with about 50,000 in the span of 2 days. Novasamita's delegation arrived in Saint-Josalyn a day before the opening, looking forward to the Olympics.

The athletes waved Novasamitan flags as they went by during the parade of nations, but as the next team emerged, the delegation sent 50 chickens loose, causing quite a ruckus among the spectators and the next team. The athletes made a run for it as security guards were dumbfounded, and confused on what to do. As they hurriedly rushed to the exit in order to evade security, they released even more hens on the street, causing traffic jams and in some instances, minor collisions. The team agreed to pay reparations to authorities and apologized. They are currently staying in the east part of the city at the Kingdom Hotel, and they practice at a nearby gym facility.

The delegation is determined to bring pride and fame to Novasamita by winning as much medals as they can. Stadtholder Vredgaar has shown great support to the team and has sent regards to them. He is set to attend the entire event to cheer on the candidates. As of current, it is expected that there are 100,000 Novasamitans currently in Tara and Cambray to attend the Olympics, and the TV viewership in the duration of the event is expected to be nearly 5 million at best.

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Hello Mallorcans, this is Rick O'Shea for Rollout news

Yesterday evening, the Mallorcan olympic team arrived to the Olympic stadium to perform their opening ceremony in style. Wether it was the 49 individual athletes and 6 official Marble Mallorcan teams arriving simultaneously or the 40 000 marbles released on the ramp right before their entrance, that evening will surely be one to remember! Of course, the greatest names of Mallorcan sports are all assembled in Saint-Josalyn for a week of different sports from all categories! Among the most famous marbles present we of course have the national football team, who was defeated in the round of 16 in their latest football competition who would expect to achieve redemption this week, Yellow Meyella and Kinnowin Or-An-Ger, the two athletes to have scored the most points in the Marblelympics as well as Starry Tegal, the most medalled athlete in, once again, the Marblympics. All these athletes will of course be present in this year's Marblelympics (opening ceremony the 18th of June), as last year's ML beginnings had been watched by 12 million people, it makes us wonder if the Olympics viewership will be matched or surpassed in Mallorca. Another concern: is the short lapse of time between the Olympics and the ML extenuate some athletes, only time will tell An unexpected athlete has also showed up for the olympics: none other than the head of state of the Spheric Marble Mallorcan Republic: the representative chancellor himself: Nico Unordille! Few people know this but before going into politics, he had won the Rojrol Fencing Cup (RFC) and will be competing alongside Mandarin Or-An-Ger in the individual foil. With such a platter of promising athletes, we can hope to be bringing back several medals in these olympics with 8 medals being handed out today!

This was Rick O'Shea from Rollout News, until next time!

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b2ap3_large_kilts-in-the-work-place-cover-image-6.jpgLive Leak: Athletes Spotted in Parade of Nations uniform!
The network just received a leaked photo of the Nieubasric Parade of Nations uniform, leaked from a supposed meet-and-greet with high level Cambric government officials and spiritual leaders. The Leak cannot confirm the designer of the uniform yet, though there is rumour that the designer could be Godden House. The president of GH, Glenda Godden is well placed in society and is known to have personal connections with multiple Convenors and Patrons of National Sport Organizations. Godden is also remarked for its use of tartan designs for their formal wear, making it an easy option. 

We have identified the men in the photo as the Athlete-Delegates from the Basric Astorian Olympic Committee, from left to right- Jordain Elm (Water Polo, Captain), Kaeneus Pedane (Discus Throw), Vincenot Lemerre (200m Freestyle, Butterfly), Kelton Whitee (Dressage),
Glenn Woods (Fencing), and Leofsige Trumane (Sailing). Missing from
the photo are Jessie Ball (Tennis), Vivien Sampaio (Gymnastics), and Reece Hall (Archery). 

The Leak will seek comment on the tartan and see if we can peek an accompanying look! Stay Tuned!





June 8 Roster Athletes
4x200 m Medley Relay Swim Danje Bourelly, Osebertus Haward, Maelgut Tadini, Vincenot Lemerre
Archery Individual Moliones Achard, Reece Hall
400 m Run Eute Pesotta, Maus Mortagne
1500 m Run Zeru Wedding
Canoe Slalom Grimald Bloeckner
Kayak Slalom Grimald Bloeckner, Stanley Sweete
Mountain Biking Individual Roley Verstoerod
Badminton Singles and Doubles Stage 1 Seuuard Brindal, Ischenous Cappeart



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Monday 8th June 1420 - Preview of Day 1 of the Saint-Josalyn Summer Olympics


Yes, we brought our own Olympic Torch. No, we didn't set fire to anything on the way here.

Apologies for the last report, viewers. Those responsible have been booted out of the back door into the nearest public skip.

Now that normal service is resumed, the team has finally arrived! It took way too long (note to self: NEVER let Captain Slow direct us anywhere again), but we are here. This team has brought an immense number of athletes, with 100-110 alone for individual events and even more for the team events.

As the Honour Guard of Hertfordia, the Ģädevąne, ceremonially welcome the Hertfordia Olympic Team, let us go through the events that will be unfolding on the first day of the Saint-Josalyn Olympics.

Events/Ívents Athletes/Àølīts
4x200m Medley Relay Swim/4x200m Mědli Ŕīlei Swim Paul Georgiev, Volodymyr Mykytovych, Zeus Illich, Stephen Romanovych
Archery Individual/Âtseri Indívideul Wolf Panasovych
400m Run/400m Ran Dimitri Ločs, Wally Zunda
1,500m Run/1,500m Ran Douglas Rudzītis, Rantaro Vinters
Canoe Slalom/Kęnü Šlälem The Stig
Kayak Slalom/Ķaiak Šlälem Cain Tsankov, Bello Radulov
Mountain Biking Individual/Mâuntin Baikin Indívideul Arle Myroslavivna, Mečislavs Deben, Radovan Artemovych
Gymnastics Floor Exercise/Deimňastiks Fličo Èksesaiz Kokichi Pencis, Draco Myronovych, Milan Balkanski, Vojislav Petrovskis
Badminton Singles Stage 1/Bâdmintn Šingelz Steide 1 Kirby Blagoev
Badminton Doubles Stage 1/Bâdmintn Đabelz Steide 1 Mario Volodymyrovych, Matt Miķelsons
Matchday 1: Handball, Lacrosse/Matsdei 1: Handbočil, Lękras

Hertfordian Handball Federation, Hertfordia Lacrosse

There will be 12 events on today. The most notable resident by far is Mečislavs Deben. Prince Marcarius isn't the only royalty that's turned up. His Majesty King Mečislavs I of Hertfordia has decided to take part in the Olympics in the Mountain Biking event. He remembers when he used to bike alongside the southern clifflands of Hertfordia 4 days a week. He still does to this day.

Other than the nation's monarch, we also have The Stig (Andolia's greatest racing driver, probably the best racing driver in TWP), who just turned up one day and entered himself into the Canoe Slalom without saying a word, and Radovan Artemovych, who has been convicted of war crimes in the brutal series of conflicts that tore the old Greater Hertfordia apart from the inside, has somehow squeezed past security and joined the King in the Mountain Biking Individual competition.

Unfortunately, due to time restraints, we cannot go through each of the contestants properly right now. That information will come when we post the results of the first day.

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Quick Information Report on the Handball and Lacrosse teams of Hertfordia


Goalkeeper - Pol Pavlovskis
Centre - Ismail Endziņš
Left Back - Hideki Teicāns
Right Back - Leopold Vilks
Circle Runner - Adolf Hadjiev
Left Winger - Josef Strautmanis
Right Winger - Mao Zvinelis

Substitutes - Kim Ivanov, Mengistu Mekšs, Yakubu Gailis, Jean Koks, Saddam Hadjiivanov, Josip Tālbergs, Kusno Strautiņš





Goalkeeper - Raymond Pencis
Defenders - Wilhelm Andersons, Herbert Āboltiņš, Franz Jukums
Midfielders - David Gailītis, Karl Mihailovs, Mehmed Riekstiņš
Attackers - Georgy Lapsiņš, Alexander Krūmiņš, Ferdinand Melngailis
Substitutes - Victor di Seržants, Thomas Valters, Yoshihito Tīrelis, Albert Mednis, Peter Kulmanis, Ferdidand Melderis, Eleftherios Vītums


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(This is a demo name, there is no one with the surname Ronaldo in any of our sports)


FUN FACT: The Lacrosse Team has, contrary to most, never employed a sponsor on their shirts in their history!

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8 June 1420

Zoranian Times Live!

"Hello Zoranians! I am Quiyakaso Gohalitsve and I am the replacement brought in to report the first Olympic games! Today is the first day of the Olympics and the events begin today! The NACZ just released the roster for today and I look forward to giving coverage at each of these events. In other news, since yesterday's arrest of my predecessor it has been officially revealed that the Zoranian Raven Claws are protecting all the athletes throughout this whole competition. You may not see them in the crowds but just know that they are there to react at a moment's notice! The roster should appear on screen now and I will see you all at the events!"

*NACZ Logo appears on screen*


4x200 m Medley Relay Swim Oconostota Magowali, Ama Qualoladve, Hialeah Yehasu, Noya Hvasduyane
Archery Individual Wrosetasatow Nonvas, Gadalohi Tlenedia, Kana′tĭ Gutadilago
Gymnastics Floor Exercise Halona Ani'-Wah', Mitena Genessee, Elu Luhe-Dvas, Tehoma Wetsanu

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Fuentana's First Medal: Em Scissors takes Bronze in 1500m

30 minutes ago, Reçueçn said:

Final 1 Catia Terra (GIO) 3:33.80 - Gold 2 Francine Courrier (RCN) 3:34.12 - Silver 3 Em Scisssors (FNT) 3:34.29 - Bronze

In a closely contested 1500m final, Em Scissors held on during the final 200m of the race to finish with a bronze. This gave Fuentana their first medal in the Summer Olympics.

"It's a little disappointing that [teammate] Molly Hurdle did not qualify for the finals. We've been training together for the last two years," noted Scissors. Despite that, Hurdle was clearly overjoyed at her teammate's accomplishment. She was captured on camera cheering loudly.

During the post event press conference, Hurdle explained: "It's definitely a lot of emotions to process, but the running community is a small one. I've raced Francine and Catia plenty of times, and each one of us, Em included, has had our victories. Sometimes it comes down to who had the best rest, the best food, and so on. For me, well, I know not to carboload on fettucine alfredo before the big day."

Scissors added with a bit of shade, "The important thing is that the medalists truly earn it." At Fuentana's Olympic Qualifiers, two middle distance runners failed pre-race drug tests and were immediately slapped with an eight-year ban from the national team program. 

"We train the right way by training at high altitudes and carefully following a dietary regimen that relies on good, healthy food and good old fashioned training. That's what makes this moment so special." 

Scissors and Hurdle were later seen celebrating in Saint-Josalyn with the other medalists and with Fuentana's Monarch at a well-known whisky bar. The Monarch seemed to be quite cozy with one of the runners... 

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8 June 2020

Zoranian Times Live!

"Hello Zoran! Those were some events huh? The athletes from all countries were incredible! While none of our own athletes won any medals today I can't help but admire the techniques of all the athletes today. The coaches for our athletes claim that the reason why our athletes didn't perform to the best of their abilities today is because they are experiencing some major jet lag due to traveling across three time zones just to reach T&C. But the coaches promise that the athletes will perform better tomorrow. Now I am about to interview archer Kana′tĭ Gutadilago, who reached fifth place in the archery competition. We will get to that after a message from our sponsor, Zortech!" says Quiyakaso,

*Zortech ad plays with a message from billionaire Tsaliona Luuska and how Zortech is changing the technological world and pushing to change the world of space travel forever*

"Thank you for Tsaliona Luuska and Zortech for sponsoring our program! Now I am here with Kana′tĭ Gutadilago, our archer who won fifth place in the archery contest! Thank you for taking the time for this interview Kana′tĭ." says Quiyakaso

"It is my pleasure Quiyakaso, I may not be as well known as some of my fellow athletes but I am always happy to give some words to the press." says Kana′tĭ,

"Glad to hear that! Now how do you feel about making it to the top five of the archery competition?" asks Quiyakaso,

"It feels great to know that I was able to even do as well as I did! It was a lot of fun despite it being a bit nerve racking. I feel honored to have competed against such capable athletes and I congratulate Siminat Ayinde for winning first." answers Kana′tĭ,

"I am sure that they appreciate your praise. Now how has your family reacted to this, they must be proud of you."

"Yes indeed they are, they called me after the event and wished me congratulations on getting fifth. I am proud to have brought some honor to my family and to the people of Zoran."

*Quiyakaso nods*

"Now, after the event you were seen talking with a man in a suit who approached you from an alleyway. Do you have any explanations on what that was about?" asks Quiyakaso,

*Kana′tĭ begins to sweat*

"I-I don't know what you are talking about. I was at the bar with the other athletes, well except Hinola. She had to be escorted back to the hotel due to paparazzi swarming her despite her poor performance in the floor exercise. But she did spend a bit of time taking selfies with fans and signing autographs." Kana′tĭ says nervously,

"The people of Zoran want to know who that man was Kana′tĭ, just answer the question. While we all want to talk to Hinola you aren't her and I am interviewing you. So who was that man in this photo?" Quiyakaso says as he pulls up a photo of Kana′tĭ in a well hidden alleyway handing some files to a shadowy figure,

*Kana′tĭ tugs at his collar*

"It was uh my coach...yeah my coach! He wanted to see my practice records to see how I can improve for next time!" Kana′tĭ says nervously laughing in an odd pattern. Quiyakaso narrowed his eyes,

"Are you su-"

*Livestream cuts off saying all signal has been lost and an advertisement by AW Encrypted begins to play*


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2 Novasamitans Get Gold!                   
In today's Canoe and Kayak Slalom events, two of our athletes, Pyter Kollen and Jan Rudek, succeeded in being barely quicker than the rest of the participating athletes, with Jan getting 85.03 seconds in Canoe slalom, and Pyter getting 84.99 in the kayak slalom. 

"Never thought I'd get that far," said Jan after being interviewed by Channel 5's team during the award ceremony. "Real great to win a medal for our country! Wish I could replay that moment of glory a hundred times!" He walked off being cheered by Novasamitans.

Pyter Kollen's inspiration was his father who taught him how to kayak. "He's in the ICU back in Novasamita right now, so I decided to lift his spirits by dedicating my win to him."

As of today, these are the only 2 medals Novasamita has so far. 



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"-and the nation will surely remember its first medal of these first Summer Games as Eute Pesotta ran an incredible 44.35 seconds in the 400m run this morning."
The anchor was cut off by a co-commentator, "And hopefully that enthusiasm can carry over to the Lacrosse team's first match up with the Cambric team as we move to the second match of Group 2 for Lacrosse." The camera cuts to an overhead view of the empty lacrosse field. 

"This folks is where in just moments the Team NB will be matched against the Cambric team, seeing many players who play against one another in the Astorian League on the same team for a change! The poster boys for this would have to be Aiaden Dunlap and Zain Oosten- their teams' rivalry is legendary in the Basric League, though they have the same jerseys on today-" 

While the commentators spoke, the ticker on the bottom of the screen scrawls a message 'Cooper Kinsleye overtakes first ranking in Gymnastics Floor Exercise with 15.850 from Cambrian Nile Whitlock's 15.825' without any notice. 

"-and today they unite under the captainship of Ellen Tudemn, regularly the captain of the Clarendon Cadets." Still showing the empty Lacrosse field, a couple of Olympics workers take out equipment to repaint the Olympic symbol midfield. The view of the field pops into a smaller window on screen, and the main window launches into a player Biography on Lacrosse Captain Ellen - highlighting her childhood growing up in a small, hilly town near North the High and featuring interviews with her parents, her high school girlfriend's brother, her ophthalmologist's assistant-turned-second-wife, and her dead childhood dog through the mediumship of Adaine Walsh. 

Nearly a third the way through the 45-minute profile, the ticker scrawled another message 'Vivien Sampaio overtakes first ranking in Gymnastics Floor Exercise with 16.125 from Basric Cooper Kinsleye's 18.850 with 2 routines remaining- guaranteeing Basric medal placement in Gymnastics Floor Exercise' without any further comment from the Panelists. 

As the profile played on, a counter ticked down above the medal count in the bottom-left corner of the broadcast to the kickoff for the Lacrosse match against Cambria. 
20 Minutes to Kickoff
10 Minutes to Kickoff
     The ticker announced the medal ceremony for Gymnastics Floor Exercise is beginning while the Clarendon Boys Choir launched their third remix of a popular song from 1389. 
5 Minutes to Kickoff
    The medal counter ticked up to two golds, and one silver without notice from the panelists. 



Live Leak: Scathing Open Letter Released from Gymnastics Nieubasria 

Countess-Esquire Thrae Schoenberg, patron of Gymnastics Nieubasria has penned an incendiary open letter
addressed to the Nieubasric Broadcast Corporation, the holder of the Summer Olympics broadcast monopoly
in Nieubasria for their blatantly unfair treatment of Gold and Silver medalists Vivien Sampaio and Cooper Kinsleye.
Instead of showing the major achievement of these great athletes, they chose to show the 40-minute-too-long 
feature trying to dig up irrelevant factoids of another great athlete as a "warmup" for the supposedly infinitely more
exciting than the awarding of a gold and silver medal. 

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Review - Day 1 of the Saint-Josalyn Summer Olympics | Rívjü - Dei 1 av đi Seint-Deeušalin Šame Ęlimpiks

Yes, this is obscenely long, sorry.... (Please don't censor us)

The first day of the Saint-Josalyn Summer Olympics proved to be am overall success for the Hertfordians as they managed to win a total of 3 medals - 1 Gold, 1 Silver and 1 Bronze - placing this proud nation at 3rd in the overall medal table, behind Novasamita and Nieubasria.

Geuld: 1 Šilve: 1 Branz: 1

Two of our medals came in the Mountain Biking event, while 1 medal was won in the Canoe Slalom.


Due to time constraints, we cannot give any insightful info, also because we know people would fall asleep reading it and because we really cannot explain how ridiculous each of these contestants and team are. Here arw the rankings, in order of best to worst via performance!

Either way, the 3 medal winners were Arle Myroslavivna, The Stig and his Majesty the King of Hertfordia, Mečislavs Deben.



Arle Myroslavivna - Finished 1st in the Mountain Biking Individual

Arle is a girl who basically sees manners of any kind as being on par with torture. She is the least gentlemanly person in the world, so good luck getting her and Prince Marcarius to get along.



The Stig - Finished 2nd in the Canoe Slalom

Some say he once punched someone in the soul, and that even he doesn't know who he is. All we know is, I'm going to the tower now to have my head cut off, and he is called The Stig.



King Mečislavs I of Hertfordia - Finished 3rd in the Mountain Biking Individual

Nations of the West Pacific, please bow before his Majesty, King Mečislavs Deben I of the Confederal Kingdom of Hertfordia! This man is the nation's elected monarch and is actually a Sir. No, really.



Wolf Panasovych - Finished 4th in the Archery Individual



Mario Volodymyrovych/Matt Miķelsons - Currently in the Semi-Finals of Badminton Doubles



Douglas Rudzītis- Finished 6th in the 1,500m Run Final



Paul Georgiev/Volodymyr Mykytovych/Zeus Illich/Stephen Romanovych - Finished 4th in the Medley Relay Swim Final



Wally Zunda - Finished 13th in the 400m Run



Draco Myronovych - Finished 12th in the Gymnastics Floor Exercise



Dimitri Ločs - Finished 19th in the 400m Run



Kokichi Pencis - Finished 13th in the Gymnastics Floor Exercise.



Rantaro Vinters - Finished 19th in the 1,500m Run


Kirby Blagoev - Eliminated in Round 1 of the Badminton Singles.



Milan Balkanski - Finished 16th in the Gymnastics Floor Exercise. (Ignore the filter, we totally didn't steal this photo)



Cain Tsankov - Finished 11th in the Kayak Slalom.



Bello Radulov - Finished 12th in the Kayak Slalom.



Vojislav Petrovskis - Finished 19th in the Gymnastics Floor exercise.



Radovan Artemovych - In the Mountain Biking Individual contest, Radovan never finished the race.


Thank you for tuning in with us for today's review, we will be back this evening for the preview of Day 2. Until then, it's time to end, thank you very much for watching, goodbye!

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Review - Extra Part | Rívjü - Èkstre Pät

This part of the review will be seperate and go over the teams and how they performed. It is seperate because we ran out of printing space on the normal report and because we don't want the organizers to censor us for obscenely long reporting if we can help it. So chaps, here are the scores.


Cambria 25-26 Hertfordia

An incredibly narrow 1 point win over the hosts leaves Hertfordia at the top of a group consisting of them and, well, their opponents. It's just us two.



Novasamita 5-18 Hertfordia

One battering of Novasamita later, and Hertfordia were top of their group, with the best record out of all the teams so far.

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9 June 1420

Zoranian Times Live!

"Hello Zoran! We are sorry for the interruption during last night's interview but weather conditions caused us to lose signal. In other news, the second day of the Olympics is at hand and our athletes have been practicing very hard these past few hours! Our sailors have been studying the wind and weather conditions today so they can prepare the best they can for today! Our gymnasts has also been stretching and practicing on the balance beams today. Their coach has been going over their techniques and giving them some advice on how they can perfect their delivery. After yesterday, the gymnasts have been more determined than ever to perform their best and to bring home a medal! In other news, our football team has been practicing hard on the field while also enjoying some time with each other at a local bar the night before. Thankfully, their coach was their with them so they didn't get drunk before their event today and team captain, Adohi Mehnadelowa, said to me this morning that he is thankful that the coach did so as they were allowed to rest up and unwind a bit without risking their performance today! Our volleyball and Rugby Seven teams have also been practicing as well after seeing how proficient athletes in other sports from other countries were and both coaches have been making sure to train them for all potential skill levels as they do not want to bring dishonor to their country. Sounds a bit extreme if you ask me but I support their decision regardless! But before we go, we have a surprise for you viewers today as we are about to interview the incredible Hinola Ani'-Wah', but first here is a message from our sponsor, the Tayanita Weaving Company!"

*Cuts to a commercial detailing the centuries of service that the Tayanita Weaving Company has given to the people of Zoran as well as people of the world since their founding during the Zoranian Renaissance in 750 AF. The commercial also states that Zoranian woven baskets are the perfect gift to give to your family and friends as well as to put gifts inside of them.*

"Thank you Tayanita Weaving Company for your support of our program! But now I am here with Hinola Ani'-Wah', one of our gymnasts that has been sent to compete in the Olympics! Ms. Ani'-Wah' might I just say it is an honor to be able to interview you today and that I am a huge fan of your music and of your athletic career." said Quiyakaso. Hinola gives smiles,

"Thank you, it means a lot that you appreciate what I do. I am also glad to be able to answer a few questions about the upcoming event today or anything about about our blunder last last night"

"Right! So while we are on the topic of yesterday's event, we noticed that when you were walking up to the mat you were limping a bit, what happened before that caused you to limp and how much did it affect your performance last night?" asked Quiyakaso,

"Well before the event, me and my fellow gymnasts were really excited to compete but on our way out of our hotel, I sprained my ankle as I was going down the step outside the hotel. While it wasn't too bad it really did affect my performance on the mat last night as I was still in pain during the event. But that wasn't the major factor that affected my performance last night..." answered Hinola,

"Oh?" Quiyakaso says while raising an eyebrow, "Do you mind sharing what that factor was?"

"I'm afraid I am not allowed to give specifics but it is a family matter that I was made aware of last night along with my cousins. That is all I am allowed to say on the matter. but it was the reason why I was escorted straight to the hotel and why I didn't stay longer with my fans after the event." Hinola answered as her voice hitching here an then. Her eyes water a bit but she blinks back any tears she may have,

"Oh, well whatever the information was I am sorry for whatever happened. Moving on, how have you and the other gymnasts been preparing yourselves for the balance beam event today?" ask Quiyakaso,

"Well as you may have expected we have been practicing on the balance beams at different heights as well as practicing out balance. Our coach has also been helping us to clear out any imperfections he notices in our practice routines, which has been a major help for me in perfecting some of my techniques. We have also been doing a lot of stretching, staying hydrated, and have been avoiding anything that may negatively impact us today. We have a lot of confidence today and I pray to the Great Spirit that I can perform the best I can!" answers Hinola,

"And I am sure all of Zoran shares that hope as well! But all of Zoran is wondering, have you found a romantic partner yet?!" Quiyakaso asks abruptly. Hinola rolls her eyes at this question as she has given this answer many times recently,

"No I have not, I am not ready for a relationship at the moment. Can we please keep the questions about the Olympics please?" Quiyakaso ignores her request,

"Would you consider dating me?" asks Quiyakaso boldly as he leans forward leaving an uncomfortable distance between the two. Hinola slaps him hard and knocks him out,

"No I wouldn't, sorry to break it to you but you aren't my type. I believe this interview is over." She then turns to the camera and smiles, "Thank you for watching people of Zoran! My fellow gymnasts and I hope we can bring home a medal for you all today!" She then winks, gets up from out of the chair she was sitting in, and walks off camera leaving the unconscious body of Quiyakaso on the floor.

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Tuesday 9th June 1420 - Preview of Day 2 of the Saint-Josalyn Summer Olympics | Přīvjü - Dei 2 av đi Seint-Deeušalin Šame Ęlimpiks


The car that Takumi Mihailov arrived in, a Sprinter Trueno AE86. Do you like his car?

After what can be called a success on the warzone of the Olympics, the Hertfordians currently have 1 gold, 1 silver and 1 bronze medal to their name. Coming up now is the schedule for our events on Day 2. This includes every event on today except for the Badminton Singles final as Kirby Blagoev has been eliminated from that by a member of the host delegation.

Events/Ívents Athletes/Àølīts
10,000m Run Jamie Dachev, Kaiser Ruslanovych
High Jump Takumi Mihailov, Keisuke Yakovych
Shot Put Satan Salmiņš, Bobby Kazymyrovych
Gymnastics Balance Beam Kokichi Pencis, Draco Myronovych, Milan Balkanski, Vojislav Petrovskis
One-Person Dinghy Sailing Rococo Omelyanovych, Phil Yevhenovych
Badminton Doubles Finals Mario Volodymyrovych, Matt Miķelsons
Lightweight Boxing Stage 1 Richard Hammond, Slobodan Dreimanis
Heavyweight Boxing Stage 1 Rose Rysinov, Franjo Širovs
Matchday 2 Handball, Lacrosse Hertfordia Handball Federation, Hertfordia Lacrosse
Matchday 1 Baseball, Basketball, Football, Rugby Sevens, Volleyball, Water Polo Hertfordia Baseball, Hertfordia Basketball, Hertfordshire and Jammbo Football Federation, Hertfordshire and Jammbo Rugby Union, Hertfordia Volleyball Federation, Hertfordshire and Jammbo Water Polo Team

There will be 16 events on today. There are a few highly notable contestants today, especially in the Lightweight Boxing, wher we have former Greater Hertfordia Prime Minister Slobodan Dreimanis and current Hertfordian unified boxing champion Richard Hammond, who just relishes a fight. No wonder he does boxing then. As well as them, Hertfordia also has Rococo Omelyanovych, one of Hertfordia's best youth goalkeepers in football, although due to the relatively poor, water dependant area of Hertfordia from which he is from, talent involving sailing is also in stock. Once this event is over, he is likely to make a beeline for the national football team.

We also have the athletics veteran Kaiser Ruslanovych, considered a legend in his field although he really is getting on a bit. This is a sort of last hurrah for him, or at least he hopes. We also have all of our team sports on today as 6 make their debuts. Eyes will mainly focus on the Häřtferdsierndeambeu Ragbi Junjen, to see how well they will do in a Sevens format. Hertfordians are quietly confident, for obvious trophy related reasons. Handball and Lacrosse will be on Matchday 2 and both teams will look to build on their Day 1 victories over Cambria and Novasamita respectively.

On that, it is time to end, thank you very much for watching, we'll see you again tomorrow, goodnight!

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Roster for Day 2 of Olympics


Gymnastics Balance Beam Halona Ani'-Wah', Mitena Genessee, Elu Luhe-Dvas, Tehoma Wetsanu
One Person Dinghy Sailing Sequoia Anikawi, Yonaguska Aniwahya, Amadahy Yidas-Neyva
MD 1 Football, Rugby Sevens, Volleyball Football team, Rugby Sevens Team, and Volleyball team

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