Clarkov

The trio were meant to be flying across the Darkesian Sea in their military plane towards Saint Mark to circumvent it. Problem was, May was flying...
R. Hammond: While we could be thundering past Giovanniland, James is making our lives a misery... again.
[Clarkson looks down to what's below them.]
J. Clarkson: Er... we can't be at Ryxtylopia already, right?
R. Hammond: James, why can I see a nation?
J. May: Er, because I went in the wrong direction mate. I didn't tell you this, I made a route towards the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland and have had to go along through there a bit and we'll head up toward-
R. Hammond: H- I'm sorry? We, on a route towards Saint Mark, have flown into Andoliavilla?
J. May: Yeah mate. Sorry.
R. Hammond: So you've made us get lost in this farm prop as well as slower.
J. Clarkson: That is the face of a Hammond who knows that all the pre-flight checks in the world can't compensate for being stuck in an airborne tumble dryer with Esferos' slowest man at the controls. Also it's Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: No, Andoliavilla.
J. May: Officially it's called the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland, but they call it Giovandolia so that's what its name is.
J. Clarkson: James, we're not from Giovanniland, we're from Hertfordshire-Jammbo. We call it Endeuliyevil or Entestiprazye and that translates to Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: I maintain your wrongness on this.
J. May: I was being correct.
J. Clarkson: Pfft, whatever.
R. Hammond: No you weren't.
J. May: And anyway, it's a colony. They ought to leave this continent.
R. Hammond: Has James been swapped for a Varanian?
J. Clarkson: He's not a Varanian, but he is an old lady.
J. May: I'm a what? No sorry, I missed that.
R. Hammond: I mean... I knew he was from the 10th century, but really?
J. Clarkson: He's always been an old lady, he was born an old lady. Congratulations Mrs. May, it's an old lady!
[Hammond laughs into the air, May is confused.]
J. Clarkson: Anyway, back to the main topic, we're lost.
J. May: No we're not. I think.
R. Hammond: Whichever way you cut it, this is the wrong way.
J. Clarkson: Hang on a second. We're flying in a plane from the Armed Forces.
R. Hammond: Yeah.
J. Clarkson: I hope the Giovannilandians don't send a welcome party.
R. Hammond: How are you doing?
J. Clarkson: Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?
R. Hammond: We're going the wrong way, we've veered off west into Andoliavilla and are flying over it right now. So that's a no.
J. Clarkson: A route imposed by James' inability to use a map.
R. Hammond: We have to fly over every town. There's a place called Giovenoria that could be a bit tricky for us. Ugh...
[Hammond puts his head in his hands in despair. Clarkson adjusts the camera through which Hertfordians and Jammbonians (and Hertmerians) back home are watching them.]
J. Clarkson: So if you've just started watching us, an update on our trip for you. We're behind schedule... by miles.
[The plane continues to fly through Giovanniland and out onto the Darkesian Sea where it has to divert heavily to avoid encroaching onto any more countries. It's passing along the coast of Dilber when Hammond pipes up again when he tries to eat his lunch.]
R. Hammond: James. I've got no fork.
J. May: Yeah, it's not allowed on the flight.
R. Hammond: Well it's just as well 'cause if I had any cutlery right now it'd be sticking out your neck!
J. Clarkson: Richard.
R. Hammond: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: I found these sheets. Do you think I should show this to the audience?
R. Hammond: I don't see why not.
 
Style: +1.7 RP permissions If my opponent RPs first, they may... Injure my players: yes Assign my players yellow cards: no Assign my players red cards: no Godmod injuries: no Godmod scoring: no Godmod other events: no A sheet with what was seemingly useful drivel on there. But the trio had figured out that this must have been important otherwise it wouldn't be in the plane with them. It looked like some kind of permission slip.
J. Clarkson: Certainly, the roster of The Genesis is more of an engineering triumph than James' plane...
R. Hammond: We've got no bloody forks.
J. May: Stop whinging about the ruddy in-flight food, man.
R. Hammond: Fuck's sake...
J. May: And don't jig about, 'cause we're climbing. We're struggling a bit here.
R. Hammond: I am not jiggling!
J. May: Yeah, but Jeremy is.
R. Hammond:  How rubbish is this thing if I can't even lift a chocolate bar to my face without us crashing into a mountain of drugs or Quiyakaso?!
J. Clarkson: I know what will cheer you up, Richard. Let's talk about a car made back home, the Buralati Chirkov. More specifically, the special "Legends of the Snow" version that was made in honour of the Hertfordshire & Jammbo cricket team that won the T20 World Cup. You know, even though there are these huge cooling guts and the engine has no cover at all, that thing has 11 radiators. 4 to cool the engine itself, 3 for the intercoolers, 1 to do the axle oil, 1 to do the engine oil and 2 to cool the hydraulic fluid used to raise it's rear spoiler. ...It's got more radiators than my house!
R. Hammond: ...That was made in Hertfordshire & Jammbo?
J. Clarkson: I know it seems absurd but I promise you, it's not as far fetched as it seems. Most of our land is untouched countryside with mountain ranges, lakes, a lot of snow and miles of quiet straight roads. It's the sort of country a hypercar could unleash everything it has in, providing the roads aren't too covered in ice or frost.

The Buralati Chirkov that Clarkson was talking about. It has a quad-turbo W16 engine that produces 1,578bhp and goes to a top speed of 305m/h. It's the fastest car that Hertfordshire & Jammbo has managed thus far. It's named after legendary Hertmerian racing driver Lui Chirkov. He is believed to be living at Hestmere in Overthinkers, but this has yet to be proven.
R. Hammond: That is just... wow. Incredible.
J. Clarkson: You know what else is incredible?
R. Hammond: What?
J. Clarkson: James looks like he's preparing another lump of disappointment.
J. May: Hammond? Clarkson? We have to stop for fuel.
R. Hammond: Well, why didn't you put more in?
J. May: Well I filled it up. That's as much as it takes.
R. Hammond: So we've got to pull over for petrol?
J. May: Are you, er, are you familiar with the basic principles of flight?
R. Hammond: No.
J. May: One of the problems we have is because the plane is heavily loaded is that we need, essentially, more lift so we have to fly with the wings at a slightly higher angle...
R. Hammond: Oh god...
J. Clarkson: I'm nodding off.
[May continues his lecture, which takes so long that by the time he had finished, they were flying over their destination. Not that May was aware of this.]
J. Clarkson: Guys?
J. May: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: We're here. Look.
[Hammond and May look out of the windscreen and window respectively to see Ryxenia coming into view.]
J. May: Guess we don't need to stop for fuel after all. Just need to re-fill when we land.
J. Clarkson: Or whatever it is that flying fridge-freezers run on.
R. Hammond: I'm starting to think James' plane plan wasn't as lightning fast as I'd first imagined.
J. May: Remind me to tell the person who refuels our planes to stop being such a Fujansk trade unionist and get on with it.
J. Clarkson: Oh! Before we go, viewers, I want to show you this. It's the roster of The Mafia, otherwise known as The Genesis. I'd have shown this to you earlier but, well, you know...
[Clarkson uses his head to gesture to May.]
 
 
 
 
J. May: "Wait a minute. Why did Petersburg edit her profile to have horns?" | Esmeralda P.: "I don't have to disclose that." | R. Hammond: "The thing about having a deaf-mute captain is that no one besides us lot know what we're planning. Unless you happen to have complete knowledge of sign language."
J. Clarkson: Can I just point out that the first match of Hertfordshire & Jammbo has finished already? We drew 0-0 with Saint Mark.
J. May: Has it? How's that happened?
J. Clarkson: Maybe it has to do with the fact that your pre-flight checks and sense of direction have caused us to be catastrophically late?
J. May: Oh cock...
The trio and their plane finally landed in a field nearby Ryxenia, from which Clarkson and Hammond got into a Buralati Chirkov that the HAJFF had shipped to Ryxtylopia for them. May meanwhile chose to get on the team coach - named "The Ragnarök" - where he received a verbal hammering from assistant manager Tess on the way to Saltavacha.
                                  
| 𐑣𐑸'𐑘𐑱 𐑛𐑰 𐑤𐑨𐑛𐑟! (Ha'wei Di Ladz!) |
| Ha'way The Lads! |
| Придъ'няпредванеи На Младеч! (Pride'napredvanei Na Mladezh!) |
 

The trio were meant to be flying across the Darkesian Sea in their military plane towards Saint Mark to circumvent it. Problem was, May was flying...
R. Hammond: While we could be thundering past Giovanniland, James is making our lives a misery... again.
[Clarkson looks down to what's below them.]
J. Clarkson: Er... we can't be at Ryxtylopia already, right?
R. Hammond: James, why can I see a nation?
J. May: Er, because I went in the wrong direction mate. I didn't tell you this, I made a route towards the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland and have had to go along through there a bit and we'll head up toward-
R. Hammond: H- I'm sorry? We, on a route towards Saint Mark, have flown into Andoliavilla?
J. May: Yeah mate. Sorry.
R. Hammond: So you've made us get lost in this farm prop as well as slower.
J. Clarkson: That is the face of a Hammond who knows that all the pre-flight checks in the world can't compensate for being stuck in an airborne tumble dryer with Esferos' slowest man at the controls. Also it's Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: No, Andoliavilla.
J. May: Officially it's called the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland, but they call it Giovandolia so that's what its name is.
J. Clarkson: James, we're not from Giovanniland, we're from Hertfordshire-Jammbo. We call it Endeuliyevil or Entestiprazye and that translates to Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: I maintain your wrongness on this.
J. May: I was being correct.
J. Clarkson: Pfft, whatever.
R. Hammond: No you weren't.
J. May: And anyway, it's a colony. They ought to leave this continent.
R. Hammond: Has James been swapped for a Varanian?
J. Clarkson: He's not a Varanian, but he is an old lady.
J. May: I'm a what? No sorry, I missed that.
R. Hammond: I mean... I knew he was from the 10th century, but really?
J. Clarkson: He's always been an old lady, he was born an old lady. Congratulations Mrs. May, it's an old lady!
[Hammond laughs into the air, May is confused.]
J. Clarkson: Anyway, back to the main topic, we're lost.
J. May: No we're not. I think.
R. Hammond: Whichever way you cut it, this is the wrong way.
J. Clarkson: Hang on a second. We're flying in a plane from the Armed Forces.
R. Hammond: Yeah.
J. Clarkson: I hope the Giovannilandians don't send a welcome party.
R. Hammond: How are you doing?
J. Clarkson: Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?
R. Hammond: We're going the wrong way, we've veered off west into Andoliavilla and are flying over it right now. So that's a no.
J. Clarkson: A route imposed by James' inability to use a map.
R. Hammond: We have to fly over every town. There's a place called Giovenoria that could be a bit tricky for us. Ugh...
[Hammond puts his head in his hands in despair. Clarkson adjusts the camera through which Hertfordians and Jammbonians (and Hertmerians) back home are watching them.]
J. Clarkson: So if you've just started watching us, an update on our trip for you. We're behind schedule... by miles.
[The plane continues to fly through Giovanniland and out onto the Darkesian Sea where it has to divert heavily to avoid encroaching onto any more countries. It's passing along the coast of Dilber when Hammond pipes up again when he tries to eat his lunch.]
R. Hammond: James. I've got no fork.
J. May: Yeah, it's not allowed on the flight.
R. Hammond: Well it's just as well 'cause if I had any cutlery right now it'd be sticking out your neck!
J. Clarkson: Richard.
R. Hammond: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: I found these sheets. Do you think I should show this to the audience?
R. Hammond: I don't see why not.
 
Style: +1.7 RP permissions If my opponent RPs first, they may... Injure my players: yes Assign my players yellow cards: no Assign my players red cards: no Godmod injuries: no Godmod scoring: no Godmod other events: no A sheet with what was seemingly useful drivel on there. But the trio had figured out that this must have been important otherwise it wouldn't be in the plane with them. It looked like some kind of permission slip.
J. Clarkson: Certainly, the roster of The Genesis is more of an engineering triumph than James' plane...
R. Hammond: We've got no bloody forks.
J. May: Stop whinging about the ruddy in-flight food, man.
R. Hammond: Fuck's sake...
J. May: And don't jig about, 'cause we're climbing. We're struggling a bit here.
R. Hammond: I am not jiggling!
J. May: Yeah, but Jeremy is.
R. Hammond:  How rubbish is this thing if I can't even lift a chocolate bar to my face without us crashing into a mountain of drugs or Quiyakaso?!
J. Clarkson: I know what will cheer you up, Richard. Let's talk about a car made back home, the Buralati Chirkov. More specifically, the special "Legends of the Snow" version that was made in honour of the Hertfordshire & Jammbo cricket team that won the T20 World Cup. You know, even though there are these huge cooling guts and the engine has no cover at all, that thing has 11 radiators. 4 to cool the engine itself, 3 for the intercoolers, 1 to do the axle oil, 1 to do the engine oil and 2 to cool the hydraulic fluid used to raise it's rear spoiler. ...It's got more radiators than my house!
R. Hammond: ...That was made in Hertfordshire & Jammbo?
J. Clarkson: I know it seems absurd but I promise you, it's not as far fetched as it seems. Most of our land is untouched countryside with mountain ranges, lakes, a lot of snow and miles of quiet straight roads. It's the sort of country a hypercar could unleash everything it has in, providing the roads aren't too covered in ice or frost.

The Buralati Chirkov that Clarkson was talking about. It has a quad-turbo W16 engine that produces 1,578bhp and goes to a top speed of 305m/h. It's the fastest car that Hertfordshire & Jammbo has managed thus far. It's named after legendary Hertmerian racing driver Lui Chirkov. He is believed to be living at Hestmere in Overthinkers, but this has yet to be proven.
R. Hammond: That is just... wow. Incredible.
J. Clarkson: You know what else is incredible?
R. Hammond: What?
J. Clarkson: James looks like he's preparing another lump of disappointment.
J. May: Hammond? Clarkson? We have to stop for fuel.
R. Hammond: Well, why didn't you put more in?
J. May: Well I filled it up. That's as much as it takes.
R. Hammond: So we've got to pull over for petrol?
J. May: Are you, er, are you familiar with the basic principles of flight?
R. Hammond: No.
J. May: One of the problems we have is because the plane is heavily loaded is that we need, essentially, more lift so we have to fly with the wings at a slightly higher angle...
R. Hammond: Oh god...
J. Clarkson: I'm nodding off.
[May continues his lecture, which takes so long that by the time he had finished, they were flying over their destination. Not that May was aware of this.]
J. Clarkson: Guys?
J. May: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: We're here. Look.
[Hammond and May look out of the windscreen and window respectively to see Ryxenia coming into view.]
J. May: Guess we don't need to stop for fuel after all. Just need to re-fill when we land.
J. Clarkson: Or whatever it is that flying fridge-freezers run on.
R. Hammond: I'm starting to think James' plane plan wasn't as lightning fast as I'd first imagined.
J. May: Remind me to tell the person who refuels our planes to stop being such a Fujansk trade unionist and get on with it.
J. Clarkson: Oh! Before we go, viewers, I want to show you this. It's the roster of The Mafia, otherwise known as The Genesis. I'd have shown this to you earlier but, well, you know...
[Clarkson uses his head to gesture to May.]
 
 
 
 
J. May: "Wait a minute. Why did Petersburg edit her profile to have horns?" | Esmeralda P.: "I don't have to disclose that." | R. Hammond: "The thing about having a deaf-mute captain is that no one besides us lot know what we're planning. Unless you happen to have complete knowledge of sign language."
J. Clarkson: Can I just point out that the first match of Hertfordshire & Jammbo has finished already? We drew 0-0 with Saint Mark.
J. May: Has it? How's that happened?
J. Clarkson: Maybe it has to do with the fact that your pre-flight checks and sense of direction have caused us to be catastrophically late?
J. May: Oh cock...
The trio and their plane finally landed in a field nearby Ryxenia, from which Clarkson and Hammond got into a Buralati Chirkov that the HAJFF had shipped to Ryxtylopia for them. May meanwhile chose to get on the team coach - named "The Ragnarök" - where he received a verbal hammering from assistant manager Tess on the way to Saltavacha.
                                  
| 𐑣𐑸'𐑘𐑱 𐑛𐑰 𐑤𐑨𐑛𐑟! (Ha'wei Di Ladz!) |
| Ha'way The Lads! |
| Придъ'няпредванеи На Младеч! (Pride'napredvanei Na Mladezh!) |
 

The trio were meant to be flying across the Darkesian Sea in their military plane towards Saint Mark to circumvent it. Problem was, May was flying...
R. Hammond: While we could be thundering past Giovanniland, James is making our lives a misery... again.
[Clarkson looks down to what's below them.]
J. Clarkson: Er... we can't be at Ryxtylopia already, right?
R. Hammond: James, why can I see a nation?
J. May: Er, because I went in the wrong direction mate. I didn't tell you this, I made a route towards the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland and have had to go along through there a bit and we'll head up toward-
R. Hammond: H- I'm sorry? We, on a route towards Saint Mark, have flown into Andoliavilla?
J. May: Yeah mate. Sorry.
R. Hammond: So you've made us get lost in this farm prop as well as slower.
J. Clarkson: That is the face of a Hammond who knows that all the pre-flight checks in the world can't compensate for being stuck in an airborne tumble dryer with Esferos' slowest man at the controls. Also it's Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: No, Andoliavilla.
J. May: Officially it's called the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland, but they call it Giovandolia so that's what its name is.
J. Clarkson: James, we're not from Giovanniland, we're from Hertfordshire-Jammbo. We call it Endeuliyevil or Entestiprazye and that translates to Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: I maintain your wrongness on this.
J. May: I was being correct.
J. Clarkson: Pfft, whatever.
R. Hammond: No you weren't.
J. May: And anyway, it's a colony. They ought to leave this continent.
R. Hammond: Has James been swapped for a Varanian?
J. Clarkson: He's not a Varanian, but he is an old lady.
J. May: I'm a what? No sorry, I missed that.
R. Hammond: I mean... I knew he was from the 10th century, but really?
J. Clarkson: He's always been an old lady, he was born an old lady. Congratulations Mrs. May, it's an old lady!
[Hammond laughs into the air, May is confused.]
J. Clarkson: Anyway, back to the main topic, we're lost.
J. May: No we're not. I think.
R. Hammond: Whichever way you cut it, this is the wrong way.
J. Clarkson: Hang on a second. We're flying in a plane from the Armed Forces.
R. Hammond: Yeah.
J. Clarkson: I hope the Giovannilandians don't send a welcome party.
R. Hammond: How are you doing?
J. Clarkson: Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?
R. Hammond: We're going the wrong way, we've veered off west into Andoliavilla and are flying over it right now. So that's a no.
J. Clarkson: A route imposed by James' inability to use a map.
R. Hammond: We have to fly over every town. There's a place called Giovenoria that could be a bit tricky for us. Ugh...
[Hammond puts his head in his hands in despair. Clarkson adjusts the camera through which Hertfordians and Jammbonians (and Hertmerians) back home are watching them.]
J. Clarkson: So if you've just started watching us, an update on our trip for you. We're behind schedule... by miles.
[The plane continues to fly through Giovanniland and out onto the Darkesian Sea where it has to divert heavily to avoid encroaching onto any more countries. It's passing along the coast of Dilber when Hammond pipes up again when he tries to eat his lunch.]
R. Hammond: James. I've got no fork.
J. May: Yeah, it's not allowed on the flight.
R. Hammond: Well it's just as well 'cause if I had any cutlery right now it'd be sticking out your neck!
J. Clarkson: Richard.
R. Hammond: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: I found these sheets. Do you think I should show this to the audience?
R. Hammond: I don't see why not.
 
Style: +1.7 RP permissions If my opponent RPs first, they may... Injure my players: yes Assign my players yellow cards: no Assign my players red cards: no Godmod injuries: no Godmod scoring: no Godmod other events: no A sheet with what was seemingly useful drivel on there. But the trio had figured out that this must have been important otherwise it wouldn't be in the plane with them. It looked like some kind of permission slip.
J. Clarkson: Certainly, the roster of The Genesis is more of an engineering triumph than James' plane...
R. Hammond: We've got no bloody forks.
J. May: Stop whinging about the ruddy in-flight food, man.
R. Hammond: Fuck's sake...
J. May: And don't jig about, 'cause we're climbing. We're struggling a bit here.
R. Hammond: I am not jiggling!
J. May: Yeah, but Jeremy is.
R. Hammond:  How rubbish is this thing if I can't even lift a chocolate bar to my face without us crashing into a mountain of drugs or Quiyakaso?!
J. Clarkson: I know what will cheer you up, Richard. Let's talk about a car made back home, the Buralati Chirkov. More specifically, the special "Legends of the Snow" version that was made in honour of the Hertfordshire & Jammbo cricket team that won the T20 World Cup. You know, even though there are these huge cooling guts and the engine has no cover at all, that thing has 11 radiators. 4 to cool the engine itself, 3 for the intercoolers, 1 to do the axle oil, 1 to do the engine oil and 2 to cool the hydraulic fluid used to raise it's rear spoiler. ...It's got more radiators than my house!
R. Hammond: ...That was made in Hertfordshire & Jammbo?
J. Clarkson: I know it seems absurd but I promise you, it's not as far fetched as it seems. Most of our land is untouched countryside with mountain ranges, lakes, a lot of snow and miles of quiet straight roads. It's the sort of country a hypercar could unleash everything it has in, providing the roads aren't too covered in ice or frost.

The Buralati Chirkov that Clarkson was talking about. It has a quad-turbo W16 engine that produces 1,578bhp and goes to a top speed of 305m/h. It's the fastest car that Hertfordshire & Jammbo has managed thus far. It's named after legendary Hertmerian racing driver Lui Chirkov. He is believed to be living at Hestmere in Overthinkers, but this has yet to be proven.
R. Hammond: That is just... wow. Incredible.
J. Clarkson: You know what else is incredible?
R. Hammond: What?
J. Clarkson: James looks like he's preparing another lump of disappointment.
J. May: Hammond? Clarkson? We have to stop for fuel.
R. Hammond: Well, why didn't you put more in?
J. May: Well I filled it up. That's as much as it takes.
R. Hammond: So we've got to pull over for petrol?
J. May: Are you, er, are you familiar with the basic principles of flight?
R. Hammond: No.
J. May: One of the problems we have is because the plane is heavily loaded is that we need, essentially, more lift so we have to fly with the wings at a slightly higher angle...
R. Hammond: Oh god...
J. Clarkson: I'm nodding off.
[May continues his lecture, which takes so long that by the time he had finished, they were flying over their destination. Not that May was aware of this.]
J. Clarkson: Guys?
J. May: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: We're here. Look.
[Hammond and May look out of the windscreen and window respectively to see Ryxenia coming into view.]
J. May: Guess we don't need to stop for fuel after all. Just need to re-fill when we land.
J. Clarkson: Or whatever it is that flying fridge-freezers run on.
R. Hammond: I'm starting to think James' plane plan wasn't as lightning fast as I'd first imagined.
J. May: Remind me to tell the person who refuels our planes to stop being such a Fujansk trade unionist and get on with it.
J. Clarkson: Oh! Before we go, viewers, I want to show you this. It's the roster of The Mafia, otherwise known as The Genesis. I'd have shown this to you earlier but, well, you know...
[Clarkson uses his head to gesture to May.]
 
 
 
 
J. May: "Wait a minute. Why did Petersburg edit her profile to have horns?" | Esmeralda P.: "I don't have to disclose that." | R. Hammond: "The thing about having a deaf-mute captain is that no one besides us lot know what we're planning. Unless you happen to have complete knowledge of sign language."
J. Clarkson: Can I just point out that the first match of Hertfordshire & Jammbo has finished already? We drew 0-0 with Saint Mark.
J. May: Has it? How's that happened?
J. Clarkson: Maybe it has to do with the fact that your pre-flight checks and sense of direction have caused us to be catastrophically late?
J. May: Oh cock...
The trio and their plane finally landed in a field nearby Ryxenia, from which Clarkson and Hammond got into a Buralati Chirkov that the HAJFF had shipped to Ryxtylopia for them. May meanwhile chose to get on the team coach - named "The Ragnarök" - where he received a verbal hammering from assistant manager Tess on the way to Saltavacha.
                                  
| 𐑣𐑸'𐑘𐑱 𐑛𐑰 𐑤𐑨𐑛𐑟! (Ha'wei Di Ladz!) |
| Ha'way The Lads! |
| Придъ'няпредванеи На Младеч! (Pride'napredvanei Na Mladezh!) |
 

The trio were meant to be flying across the Darkesian Sea in their military plane towards Saint Mark to circumvent it. Problem was, May was flying...
R. Hammond: While we could be thundering past Giovanniland, James is making our lives a misery... again.
[Clarkson looks down to what's below them.]
J. Clarkson: Er... we can't be at Ryxtylopia already, right?
R. Hammond: James, why can I see a nation?
J. May: Er, because I went in the wrong direction mate. I didn't tell you this, I made a route towards the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland and have had to go along through there a bit and we'll head up toward-
R. Hammond: H- I'm sorry? We, on a route towards Saint Mark, have flown into Andoliavilla?
J. May: Yeah mate. Sorry.
R. Hammond: So you've made us get lost in this farm prop as well as slower.
J. Clarkson: That is the face of a Hammond who knows that all the pre-flight checks in the world can't compensate for being stuck in an airborne tumble dryer with Esferos' slowest man at the controls. Also it's Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: No, Andoliavilla.
J. May: Officially it's called the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland, but they call it Giovandolia so that's what its name is.
J. Clarkson: James, we're not from Giovanniland, we're from Hertfordshire-Jammbo. We call it Endeuliyevil or Entestiprazye and that translates to Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: I maintain your wrongness on this.
J. May: I was being correct.
J. Clarkson: Pfft, whatever.
R. Hammond: No you weren't.
J. May: And anyway, it's a colony. They ought to leave this continent.
R. Hammond: Has James been swapped for a Varanian?
J. Clarkson: He's not a Varanian, but he is an old lady.
J. May: I'm a what? No sorry, I missed that.
R. Hammond: I mean... I knew he was from the 10th century, but really?
J. Clarkson: He's always been an old lady, he was born an old lady. Congratulations Mrs. May, it's an old lady!
[Hammond laughs into the air, May is confused.]
J. Clarkson: Anyway, back to the main topic, we're lost.
J. May: No we're not. I think.
R. Hammond: Whichever way you cut it, this is the wrong way.
J. Clarkson: Hang on a second. We're flying in a plane from the Armed Forces.
R. Hammond: Yeah.
J. Clarkson: I hope the Giovannilandians don't send a welcome party.
R. Hammond: How are you doing?
J. Clarkson: Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?
R. Hammond: We're going the wrong way, we've veered off west into Andoliavilla and are flying over it right now. So that's a no.
J. Clarkson: A route imposed by James' inability to use a map.
R. Hammond: We have to fly over every town. There's a place called Giovenoria that could be a bit tricky for us. Ugh...
[Hammond puts his head in his hands in despair. Clarkson adjusts the camera through which Hertfordians and Jammbonians (and Hertmerians) back home are watching them.]
J. Clarkson: So if you've just started watching us, an update on our trip for you. We're behind schedule... by miles.
[The plane continues to fly through Giovanniland and out onto the Darkesian Sea where it has to divert heavily to avoid encroaching onto any more countries. It's passing along the coast of Dilber when Hammond pipes up again when he tries to eat his lunch.]
R. Hammond: James. I've got no fork.
J. May: Yeah, it's not allowed on the flight.
R. Hammond: Well it's just as well 'cause if I had any cutlery right now it'd be sticking out your neck!
J. Clarkson: Richard.
R. Hammond: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: I found these sheets. Do you think I should show this to the audience?
R. Hammond: I don't see why not.
 
Style: +1.7 RP permissions If my opponent RPs first, they may... Injure my players: yes Assign my players yellow cards: no Assign my players red cards: no Godmod injuries: no Godmod scoring: no Godmod other events: no A sheet with what was seemingly useful drivel on there. But the trio had figured out that this must have been important otherwise it wouldn't be in the plane with them. It looked like some kind of permission slip.
J. Clarkson: Certainly, the roster of The Genesis is more of an engineering triumph than James' plane...
R. Hammond: We've got no bloody forks.
J. May: Stop whinging about the ruddy in-flight food, man.
R. Hammond: Fuck's sake...
J. May: And don't jig about, 'cause we're climbing. We're struggling a bit here.
R. Hammond: I am not jiggling!
J. May: Yeah, but Jeremy is.
R. Hammond:  How rubbish is this thing if I can't even lift a chocolate bar to my face without us crashing into a mountain of drugs or Quiyakaso?!
J. Clarkson: I know what will cheer you up, Richard. Let's talk about a car made back home, the Buralati Chirkov. More specifically, the special "Legends of the Snow" version that was made in honour of the Hertfordshire & Jammbo cricket team that won the T20 World Cup. You know, even though there are these huge cooling guts and the engine has no cover at all, that thing has 11 radiators. 4 to cool the engine itself, 3 for the intercoolers, 1 to do the axle oil, 1 to do the engine oil and 2 to cool the hydraulic fluid used to raise it's rear spoiler. ...It's got more radiators than my house!
R. Hammond: ...That was made in Hertfordshire & Jammbo?
J. Clarkson: I know it seems absurd but I promise you, it's not as far fetched as it seems. Most of our land is untouched countryside with mountain ranges, lakes, a lot of snow and miles of quiet straight roads. It's the sort of country a hypercar could unleash everything it has in, providing the roads aren't too covered in ice or frost.

The Buralati Chirkov that Clarkson was talking about. It has a quad-turbo W16 engine that produces 1,578bhp and goes to a top speed of 305m/h. It's the fastest car that Hertfordshire & Jammbo has managed thus far. It's named after legendary Hertmerian racing driver Lui Chirkov. He is believed to be living at Hestmere in Overthinkers, but this has yet to be proven.
R. Hammond: That is just... wow. Incredible.
J. Clarkson: You know what else is incredible?
R. Hammond: What?
J. Clarkson: James looks like he's preparing another lump of disappointment.
J. May: Hammond? Clarkson? We have to stop for fuel.
R. Hammond: Well, why didn't you put more in?
J. May: Well I filled it up. That's as much as it takes.
R. Hammond: So we've got to pull over for petrol?
J. May: Are you, er, are you familiar with the basic principles of flight?
R. Hammond: No.
J. May: One of the problems we have is because the plane is heavily loaded is that we need, essentially, more lift so we have to fly with the wings at a slightly higher angle...
R. Hammond: Oh god...
J. Clarkson: I'm nodding off.
[May continues his lecture, which takes so long that by the time he had finished, they were flying over their destination. Not that May was aware of this.]
J. Clarkson: Guys?
J. May: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: We're here. Look.
[Hammond and May look out of the windscreen and window respectively to see Ryxenia coming into view.]
J. May: Guess we don't need to stop for fuel after all. Just need to re-fill when we land.
J. Clarkson: Or whatever it is that flying fridge-freezers run on.
R. Hammond: I'm starting to think James' plane plan wasn't as lightning fast as I'd first imagined.
J. May: Remind me to tell the person who refuels our planes to stop being such a Fujansk trade unionist and get on with it.
J. Clarkson: Oh! Before we go, viewers, I want to show you this. It's the roster of The Mafia, otherwise known as The Genesis. I'd have shown this to you earlier but, well, you know...
[Clarkson uses his head to gesture to May.]
 
 
 
 
J. May: "Wait a minute. Why did Petersburg edit her profile to have horns?" | Esmeralda P.: "I don't have to disclose that." | R. Hammond: "The thing about having a deaf-mute captain is that no one besides us lot know what we're planning. Unless you happen to have complete knowledge of sign language."
J. Clarkson: Can I just point out that the first match of Hertfordshire & Jammbo has finished already? We drew 0-0 with Saint Mark.
J. May: Has it? How's that happened?
J. Clarkson: Maybe it has to do with the fact that your pre-flight checks and sense of direction have caused us to be catastrophically late?
J. May: Oh cock...
The trio and their plane finally landed in a field nearby Ryxenia, from which Clarkson and Hammond got into a Buralati Chirkov that the HAJFF had shipped to Ryxtylopia for them. May meanwhile chose to get on the team coach - named "The Ragnarök" - where he received a verbal hammering from assistant manager Tess on the way to Saltavacha.
                                  
| 𐑣𐑸'𐑘𐑱 𐑛𐑰 𐑤𐑨𐑛𐑟! (Ha'wei Di Ladz!) |
| Ha'way The Lads! |
| Придъ'няпредванеи На Младеч! (Pride'napredvanei Na Mladezh!) |
 

The trio were meant to be flying across the Darkesian Sea in their military plane towards Saint Mark to circumvent it. Problem was, May was flying...
R. Hammond: While we could be thundering past Giovanniland, James is making our lives a misery... again.
[Clarkson looks down to what's below them.]
J. Clarkson: Er... we can't be at Ryxtylopia already, right?
R. Hammond: James, why can I see a nation?
J. May: Er, because I went in the wrong direction mate. I didn't tell you this, I made a route towards the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland and have had to go along through there a bit and we'll head up toward-
R. Hammond: H- I'm sorry? We, on a route towards Saint Mark, have flown into Andoliavilla?
J. May: Yeah mate. Sorry.
R. Hammond: So you've made us get lost in this farm prop as well as slower.
J. Clarkson: That is the face of a Hammond who knows that all the pre-flight checks in the world can't compensate for being stuck in an airborne tumble dryer with Esferos' slowest man at the controls. Also it's Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: No, Andoliavilla.
J. May: Officially it's called the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland, but they call it Giovandolia so that's what its name is.
J. Clarkson: James, we're not from Giovanniland, we're from Hertfordshire-Jammbo. We call it Endeuliyevil or Entestiprazye and that translates to Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: I maintain your wrongness on this.
J. May: I was being correct.
J. Clarkson: Pfft, whatever.
R. Hammond: No you weren't.
J. May: And anyway, it's a colony. They ought to leave this continent.
R. Hammond: Has James been swapped for a Varanian?
J. Clarkson: He's not a Varanian, but he is an old lady.
J. May: I'm a what? No sorry, I missed that.
R. Hammond: I mean... I knew he was from the 10th century, but really?
J. Clarkson: He's always been an old lady, he was born an old lady. Congratulations Mrs. May, it's an old lady!
[Hammond laughs into the air, May is confused.]
J. Clarkson: Anyway, back to the main topic, we're lost.
J. May: No we're not. I think.
R. Hammond: Whichever way you cut it, this is the wrong way.
J. Clarkson: Hang on a second. We're flying in a plane from the Armed Forces.
R. Hammond: Yeah.
J. Clarkson: I hope the Giovannilandians don't send a welcome party.
R. Hammond: How are you doing?
J. Clarkson: Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?
R. Hammond: We're going the wrong way, we've veered off west into Andoliavilla and are flying over it right now. So that's a no.
J. Clarkson: A route imposed by James' inability to use a map.
R. Hammond: We have to fly over every town. There's a place called Giovenoria that could be a bit tricky for us. Ugh...
[Hammond puts his head in his hands in despair. Clarkson adjusts the camera through which Hertfordians and Jammbonians (and Hertmerians) back home are watching them.]
J. Clarkson: So if you've just started watching us, an update on our trip for you. We're behind schedule... by miles.
[The plane continues to fly through Giovanniland and out onto the Darkesian Sea where it has to divert heavily to avoid encroaching onto any more countries. It's passing along the coast of Dilber when Hammond pipes up again when he tries to eat his lunch.]
R. Hammond: James. I've got no fork.
J. May: Yeah, it's not allowed on the flight.
R. Hammond: Well it's just as well 'cause if I had any cutlery right now it'd be sticking out your neck!
J. Clarkson: Richard.
R. Hammond: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: I found these sheets. Do you think I should show this to the audience?
R. Hammond: I don't see why not.
 
Style: +1.7 RP permissions If my opponent RPs first, they may... Injure my players: yes Assign my players yellow cards: no Assign my players red cards: no Godmod injuries: no Godmod scoring: no Godmod other events: no A sheet with what was seemingly useful drivel on there. But the trio had figured out that this must have been important otherwise it wouldn't be in the plane with them. It looked like some kind of permission slip.
J. Clarkson: Certainly, the roster of The Genesis is more of an engineering triumph than James' plane...
R. Hammond: We've got no bloody forks.
J. May: Stop whinging about the ruddy in-flight food, man.
R. Hammond: Fuck's sake...
J. May: And don't jig about, 'cause we're climbing. We're struggling a bit here.
R. Hammond: I am not jiggling!
J. May: Yeah, but Jeremy is.
R. Hammond:  How rubbish is this thing if I can't even lift a chocolate bar to my face without us crashing into a mountain of drugs or Quiyakaso?!
J. Clarkson: I know what will cheer you up, Richard. Let's talk about a car made back home, the Buralati Chirkov. More specifically, the special "Legends of the Snow" version that was made in honour of the Hertfordshire & Jammbo cricket team that won the T20 World Cup. You know, even though there are these huge cooling guts and the engine has no cover at all, that thing has 11 radiators. 4 to cool the engine itself, 3 for the intercoolers, 1 to do the axle oil, 1 to do the engine oil and 2 to cool the hydraulic fluid used to raise it's rear spoiler. ...It's got more radiators than my house!
R. Hammond: ...That was made in Hertfordshire & Jammbo?
J. Clarkson: I know it seems absurd but I promise you, it's not as far fetched as it seems. Most of our land is untouched countryside with mountain ranges, lakes, a lot of snow and miles of quiet straight roads. It's the sort of country a hypercar could unleash everything it has in, providing the roads aren't too covered in ice or frost.

The Buralati Chirkov that Clarkson was talking about. It has a quad-turbo W16 engine that produces 1,578bhp and goes to a top speed of 305m/h. It's the fastest car that Hertfordshire & Jammbo has managed thus far. It's named after legendary Hertmerian racing driver Lui Chirkov. He is believed to be living at Hestmere in Overthinkers, but this has yet to be proven.
R. Hammond: That is just... wow. Incredible.
J. Clarkson: You know what else is incredible?
R. Hammond: What?
J. Clarkson: James looks like he's preparing another lump of disappointment.
J. May: Hammond? Clarkson? We have to stop for fuel.
R. Hammond: Well, why didn't you put more in?
J. May: Well I filled it up. That's as much as it takes.
R. Hammond: So we've got to pull over for petrol?
J. May: Are you, er, are you familiar with the basic principles of flight?
R. Hammond: No.
J. May: One of the problems we have is because the plane is heavily loaded is that we need, essentially, more lift so we have to fly with the wings at a slightly higher angle...
R. Hammond: Oh god...
J. Clarkson: I'm nodding off.
[May continues his lecture, which takes so long that by the time he had finished, they were flying over their destination. Not that May was aware of this.]
J. Clarkson: Guys?
J. May: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: We're here. Look.
[Hammond and May look out of the windscreen and window respectively to see Ryxenia coming into view.]
J. May: Guess we don't need to stop for fuel after all. Just need to re-fill when we land.
J. Clarkson: Or whatever it is that flying fridge-freezers run on.
R. Hammond: I'm starting to think James' plane plan wasn't as lightning fast as I'd first imagined.
J. May: Remind me to tell the person who refuels our planes to stop being such a Fujansk trade unionist and get on with it.
J. Clarkson: Oh! Before we go, viewers, I want to show you this. It's the roster of The Mafia, otherwise known as The Genesis. I'd have shown this to you earlier but, well, you know...
[Clarkson uses his head to gesture to May.]
 
 
 
 
J. May: "Wait a minute. Why did Petersburg edit her profile to have horns?" | Esmeralda P.: "I don't have to disclose that." | R. Hammond: "The thing about having a deaf-mute captain is that no one besides us lot know what we're planning. Unless you happen to have complete knowledge of sign language."
J. Clarkson: Can I just point out that the first match of Hertfordshire & Jammbo has finished already? We drew 0-0 with Saint Mark.
J. May: Has it? How's that happened?
J. Clarkson: Maybe it has to do with the fact that your pre-flight checks and sense of direction have caused us to be catastrophically late?
J. May: Oh cock...
The trio and their plane finally landed in a field nearby Ryxenia, from which Clarkson and Hammond got into a Buralati Chirkov that the HAJFF had shipped to Ryxtylopia for them. May meanwhile chose to get on the team coach - named "The Ragnarök" - where he received a verbal hammering from assistant manager Tess on the way to Saltavacha.
                                  
| 𐑣𐑸'𐑘𐑱 𐑛𐑰 𐑤𐑨𐑛𐑟! (Ha'wei Di Ladz!) |
| Ha'way The Lads! |
| Придъ'няпредванеи На Младеч! (Pride'napredvanei Na Mladezh!) |
 

The trio were meant to be flying across the Darkesian Sea in their military plane towards Saint Mark to circumvent it. Problem was, May was flying...
R. Hammond: While we could be thundering past Giovanniland, James is making our lives a misery... again.
[Clarkson looks down to what's below them.]
J. Clarkson: Er... we can't be at Ryxtylopia already, right?
R. Hammond: James, why can I see a nation?
J. May: Er, because I went in the wrong direction mate. I didn't tell you this, I made a route towards the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland and have had to go along through there a bit and we'll head up toward-
R. Hammond: H- I'm sorry? We, on a route towards Saint Mark, have flown into Andoliavilla?
J. May: Yeah mate. Sorry.
R. Hammond: So you've made us get lost in this farm prop as well as slower.
J. Clarkson: That is the face of a Hammond who knows that all the pre-flight checks in the world can't compensate for being stuck in an airborne tumble dryer with Esferos' slowest man at the controls. Also it's Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: No, Andoliavilla.
J. May: Officially it's called the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland, but they call it Giovandolia so that's what its name is.
J. Clarkson: James, we're not from Giovanniland, we're from Hertfordshire-Jammbo. We call it Endeuliyevil or Entestiprazye and that translates to Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: I maintain your wrongness on this.
J. May: I was being correct.
J. Clarkson: Pfft, whatever.
R. Hammond: No you weren't.
J. May: And anyway, it's a colony. They ought to leave this continent.
R. Hammond: Has James been swapped for a Varanian?
J. Clarkson: He's not a Varanian, but he is an old lady.
J. May: I'm a what? No sorry, I missed that.
R. Hammond: I mean... I knew he was from the 10th century, but really?
J. Clarkson: He's always been an old lady, he was born an old lady. Congratulations Mrs. May, it's an old lady!
[Hammond laughs into the air, May is confused.]
J. Clarkson: Anyway, back to the main topic, we're lost.
J. May: No we're not. I think.
R. Hammond: Whichever way you cut it, this is the wrong way.
J. Clarkson: Hang on a second. We're flying in a plane from the Armed Forces.
R. Hammond: Yeah.
J. Clarkson: I hope the Giovannilandians don't send a welcome party.
R. Hammond: How are you doing?
J. Clarkson: Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?
R. Hammond: We're going the wrong way, we've veered off west into Andoliavilla and are flying over it right now. So that's a no.
J. Clarkson: A route imposed by James' inability to use a map.
R. Hammond: We have to fly over every town. There's a place called Giovenoria that could be a bit tricky for us. Ugh...
[Hammond puts his head in his hands in despair. Clarkson adjusts the camera through which Hertfordians and Jammbonians (and Hertmerians) back home are watching them.]
J. Clarkson: So if you've just started watching us, an update on our trip for you. We're behind schedule... by miles.
[The plane continues to fly through Giovanniland and out onto the Darkesian Sea where it has to divert heavily to avoid encroaching onto any more countries. It's passing along the coast of Dilber when Hammond pipes up again when he tries to eat his lunch.]
R. Hammond: James. I've got no fork.
J. May: Yeah, it's not allowed on the flight.
R. Hammond: Well it's just as well 'cause if I had any cutlery right now it'd be sticking out your neck!
J. Clarkson: Richard.
R. Hammond: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: I found these sheets. Do you think I should show this to the audience?
R. Hammond: I don't see why not.
 
Style: +1.7 RP permissions If my opponent RPs first, they may... Injure my players: yes Assign my players yellow cards: no Assign my players red cards: no Godmod injuries: no Godmod scoring: no Godmod other events: no A sheet with what was seemingly useful drivel on there. But the trio had figured out that this must have been important otherwise it wouldn't be in the plane with them. It looked like some kind of permission slip.
J. Clarkson: Certainly, the roster of The Genesis is more of an engineering triumph than James' plane...
R. Hammond: We've got no bloody forks.
J. May: Stop whinging about the ruddy in-flight food, man.
R. Hammond: Fuck's sake...
J. May: And don't jig about, 'cause we're climbing. We're struggling a bit here.
R. Hammond: I am not jiggling!
J. May: Yeah, but Jeremy is.
R. Hammond:  How rubbish is this thing if I can't even lift a chocolate bar to my face without us crashing into a mountain of drugs or Quiyakaso?!
J. Clarkson: I know what will cheer you up, Richard. Let's talk about a car made back home, the Buralati Chirkov. More specifically, the special "Legends of the Snow" version that was made in honour of the Hertfordshire & Jammbo cricket team that won the T20 World Cup. You know, even though there are these huge cooling guts and the engine has no cover at all, that thing has 11 radiators. 4 to cool the engine itself, 3 for the intercoolers, 1 to do the axle oil, 1 to do the engine oil and 2 to cool the hydraulic fluid used to raise it's rear spoiler. ...It's got more radiators than my house!
R. Hammond: ...That was made in Hertfordshire & Jammbo?
J. Clarkson: I know it seems absurd but I promise you, it's not as far fetched as it seems. Most of our land is untouched countryside with mountain ranges, lakes, a lot of snow and miles of quiet straight roads. It's the sort of country a hypercar could unleash everything it has in, providing the roads aren't too covered in ice or frost.

The Buralati Chirkov that Clarkson was talking about. It has a quad-turbo W16 engine that produces 1,578bhp and goes to a top speed of 305m/h. It's the fastest car that Hertfordshire & Jammbo has managed thus far. It's named after legendary Hertmerian racing driver Lui Chirkov. He is believed to be living at Hestmere in Overthinkers, but this has yet to be proven.
R. Hammond: That is just... wow. Incredible.
J. Clarkson: You know what else is incredible?
R. Hammond: What?
J. Clarkson: James looks like he's preparing another lump of disappointment.
J. May: Hammond? Clarkson? We have to stop for fuel.
R. Hammond: Well, why didn't you put more in?
J. May: Well I filled it up. That's as much as it takes.
R. Hammond: So we've got to pull over for petrol?
J. May: Are you, er, are you familiar with the basic principles of flight?
R. Hammond: No.
J. May: One of the problems we have is because the plane is heavily loaded is that we need, essentially, more lift so we have to fly with the wings at a slightly higher angle...
R. Hammond: Oh god...
J. Clarkson: I'm nodding off.
[May continues his lecture, which takes so long that by the time he had finished, they were flying over their destination. Not that May was aware of this.]
J. Clarkson: Guys?
J. May: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: We're here. Look.
[Hammond and May look out of the windscreen and window respectively to see Ryxenia coming into view.]
J. May: Guess we don't need to stop for fuel after all. Just need to re-fill when we land.
J. Clarkson: Or whatever it is that flying fridge-freezers run on.
R. Hammond: I'm starting to think James' plane plan wasn't as lightning fast as I'd first imagined.
J. May: Remind me to tell the person who refuels our planes to stop being such a Fujansk trade unionist and get on with it.
J. Clarkson: Oh! Before we go, viewers, I want to show you this. It's the roster of The Mafia, otherwise known as The Genesis. I'd have shown this to you earlier but, well, you know...
[Clarkson uses his head to gesture to May.]
 
 
 
 
J. May: "Wait a minute. Why did Petersburg edit her profile to have horns?" | Esmeralda P.: "I don't have to disclose that." | R. Hammond: "The thing about having a deaf-mute captain is that no one besides us lot know what we're planning. Unless you happen to have complete knowledge of sign language."
J. Clarkson: Can I just point out that the first match of Hertfordshire & Jammbo has finished already? We drew 0-0 with Saint Mark.
J. May: Has it? How's that happened?
J. Clarkson: Maybe it has to do with the fact that your pre-flight checks and sense of direction have caused us to be catastrophically late?
J. May: Oh cock...
The trio and their plane finally landed in a field nearby Ryxenia, from which Clarkson and Hammond got into a Buralati Chirkov that the HAJFF had shipped to Ryxtylopia for them. May meanwhile chose to get on the team coach - named "The Ragnarök" - where he received a verbal hammering from assistant manager Tess on the way to Saltavacha.
                                  
| 𐑣𐑸'𐑘𐑱 𐑛𐑰 𐑤𐑨𐑛𐑟! (Ha'wei Di Ladz!) |
| Ha'way The Lads! |
| Придъ'няпредванеи На Младеч! (Pride'napredvanei Na Mladezh!) |
 

The trio were meant to be flying across the Darkesian Sea in their military plane towards Saint Mark to circumvent it. Problem was, May was flying...
R. Hammond: While we could be thundering past Giovanniland, James is making our lives a misery... again.
[Clarkson looks down to what's below them.]
J. Clarkson: Er... we can't be at Ryxtylopia already, right?
R. Hammond: James, why can I see a nation?
J. May: Er, because I went in the wrong direction mate. I didn't tell you this, I made a route towards the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland and have had to go along through there a bit and we'll head up toward-
R. Hammond: H- I'm sorry? We, on a route towards Saint Mark, have flown into Andoliavilla?
J. May: Yeah mate. Sorry.
R. Hammond: So you've made us get lost in this farm prop as well as slower.
J. Clarkson: That is the face of a Hammond who knows that all the pre-flight checks in the world can't compensate for being stuck in an airborne tumble dryer with Esferos' slowest man at the controls. Also it's Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: No, Andoliavilla.
J. May: Officially it's called the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland, but they call it Giovandolia so that's what its name is.
J. Clarkson: James, we're not from Giovanniland, we're from Hertfordshire-Jammbo. We call it Endeuliyevil or Entestiprazye and that translates to Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: I maintain your wrongness on this.
J. May: I was being correct.
J. Clarkson: Pfft, whatever.
R. Hammond: No you weren't.
J. May: And anyway, it's a colony. They ought to leave this continent.
R. Hammond: Has James been swapped for a Varanian?
J. Clarkson: He's not a Varanian, but he is an old lady.
J. May: I'm a what? No sorry, I missed that.
R. Hammond: I mean... I knew he was from the 10th century, but really?
J. Clarkson: He's always been an old lady, he was born an old lady. Congratulations Mrs. May, it's an old lady!
[Hammond laughs into the air, May is confused.]
J. Clarkson: Anyway, back to the main topic, we're lost.
J. May: No we're not. I think.
R. Hammond: Whichever way you cut it, this is the wrong way.
J. Clarkson: Hang on a second. We're flying in a plane from the Armed Forces.
R. Hammond: Yeah.
J. Clarkson: I hope the Giovannilandians don't send a welcome party.
R. Hammond: How are you doing?
J. Clarkson: Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?
R. Hammond: We're going the wrong way, we've veered off west into Andoliavilla and are flying over it right now. So that's a no.
J. Clarkson: A route imposed by James' inability to use a map.
R. Hammond: We have to fly over every town. There's a place called Giovenoria that could be a bit tricky for us. Ugh...
[Hammond puts his head in his hands in despair. Clarkson adjusts the camera through which Hertfordians and Jammbonians (and Hertmerians) back home are watching them.]
J. Clarkson: So if you've just started watching us, an update on our trip for you. We're behind schedule... by miles.
[The plane continues to fly through Giovanniland and out onto the Darkesian Sea where it has to divert heavily to avoid encroaching onto any more countries. It's passing along the coast of Dilber when Hammond pipes up again when he tries to eat his lunch.]
R. Hammond: James. I've got no fork.
J. May: Yeah, it's not allowed on the flight.
R. Hammond: Well it's just as well 'cause if I had any cutlery right now it'd be sticking out your neck!
J. Clarkson: Richard.
R. Hammond: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: I found these sheets. Do you think I should show this to the audience?
R. Hammond: I don't see why not.
 
Style: +1.7 RP permissions If my opponent RPs first, they may... Injure my players: yes Assign my players yellow cards: no Assign my players red cards: no Godmod injuries: no Godmod scoring: no Godmod other events: no A sheet with what was seemingly useful drivel on there. But the trio had figured out that this must have been important otherwise it wouldn't be in the plane with them. It looked like some kind of permission slip.
J. Clarkson: Certainly, the roster of The Genesis is more of an engineering triumph than James' plane...
R. Hammond: We've got no bloody forks.
J. May: Stop whinging about the ruddy in-flight food, man.
R. Hammond: Fuck's sake...
J. May: And don't jig about, 'cause we're climbing. We're struggling a bit here.
R. Hammond: I am not jiggling!
J. May: Yeah, but Jeremy is.
R. Hammond:  How rubbish is this thing if I can't even lift a chocolate bar to my face without us crashing into a mountain of drugs or Quiyakaso?!
J. Clarkson: I know what will cheer you up, Richard. Let's talk about a car made back home, the Buralati Chirkov. More specifically, the special "Legends of the Snow" version that was made in honour of the Hertfordshire & Jammbo cricket team that won the T20 World Cup. You know, even though there are these huge cooling guts and the engine has no cover at all, that thing has 11 radiators. 4 to cool the engine itself, 3 for the intercoolers, 1 to do the axle oil, 1 to do the engine oil and 2 to cool the hydraulic fluid used to raise it's rear spoiler. ...It's got more radiators than my house!
R. Hammond: ...That was made in Hertfordshire & Jammbo?
J. Clarkson: I know it seems absurd but I promise you, it's not as far fetched as it seems. Most of our land is untouched countryside with mountain ranges, lakes, a lot of snow and miles of quiet straight roads. It's the sort of country a hypercar could unleash everything it has in, providing the roads aren't too covered in ice or frost.

The Buralati Chirkov that Clarkson was talking about. It has a quad-turbo W16 engine that produces 1,578bhp and goes to a top speed of 305m/h. It's the fastest car that Hertfordshire & Jammbo has managed thus far. It's named after legendary Hertmerian racing driver Lui Chirkov. He is believed to be living at Hestmere in Overthinkers, but this has yet to be proven.
R. Hammond: That is just... wow. Incredible.
J. Clarkson: You know what else is incredible?
R. Hammond: What?
J. Clarkson: James looks like he's preparing another lump of disappointment.
J. May: Hammond? Clarkson? We have to stop for fuel.
R. Hammond: Well, why didn't you put more in?
J. May: Well I filled it up. That's as much as it takes.
R. Hammond: So we've got to pull over for petrol?
J. May: Are you, er, are you familiar with the basic principles of flight?
R. Hammond: No.
J. May: One of the problems we have is because the plane is heavily loaded is that we need, essentially, more lift so we have to fly with the wings at a slightly higher angle...
R. Hammond: Oh god...
J. Clarkson: I'm nodding off.
[May continues his lecture, which takes so long that by the time he had finished, they were flying over their destination. Not that May was aware of this.]
J. Clarkson: Guys?
J. May: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: We're here. Look.
[Hammond and May look out of the windscreen and window respectively to see Ryxenia coming into view.]
J. May: Guess we don't need to stop for fuel after all. Just need to re-fill when we land.
J. Clarkson: Or whatever it is that flying fridge-freezers run on.
R. Hammond: I'm starting to think James' plane plan wasn't as lightning fast as I'd first imagined.
J. May: Remind me to tell the person who refuels our planes to stop being such a Fujansk trade unionist and get on with it.
J. Clarkson: Oh! Before we go, viewers, I want to show you this. It's the roster of The Mafia, otherwise known as The Genesis. I'd have shown this to you earlier but, well, you know...
[Clarkson uses his head to gesture to May.]
 
 
 
 
J. May: "Wait a minute. Why did Petersburg edit her profile to have horns?" | Esmeralda P.: "I don't have to disclose that." | R. Hammond: "The thing about having a deaf-mute captain is that no one besides us lot know what we're planning. Unless you happen to have complete knowledge of sign language."
J. Clarkson: Can I just point out that the first match of Hertfordshire & Jammbo has finished already? We drew 0-0 with Saint Mark.
J. May: Has it? How's that happened?
J. Clarkson: Maybe it has to do with the fact that your pre-flight checks and sense of direction have caused us to be catastrophically late?
J. May: Oh cock...
The trio and their plane finally landed in a field nearby Ryxenia, from which Clarkson and Hammond got into a Buralati Chirkov that the HAJFF had shipped to Ryxtylopia for them. May meanwhile chose to get on the team coach - named "The Ragnarök" - where he received a verbal hammering from assistant manager Tess on the way to Saltavacha.
                                  
| 𐑣𐑸'𐑘𐑱 𐑛𐑰 𐑤𐑨𐑛𐑟! (Ha'wei Di Ladz!) |
| Ha'way The Lads! |
| Придъ'няпредванеи На Младеч! (Pride'napredvanei Na Mladezh!) |
 

The trio were meant to be flying across the Darkesian Sea in their military plane towards Saint Mark to circumvent it. Problem was, May was flying...
R. Hammond: While we could be thundering past Giovanniland, James is making our lives a misery... again.
[Clarkson looks down to what's below them.]
J. Clarkson: Er... we can't be at Ryxtylopia already, right?
R. Hammond: James, why can I see a nation?
J. May: Er, because I went in the wrong direction mate. I didn't tell you this, I made a route towards the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland and have had to go along through there a bit and we'll head up toward-
R. Hammond: H- I'm sorry? We, on a route towards Saint Mark, have flown into Andoliavilla?
J. May: Yeah mate. Sorry.
R. Hammond: So you've made us get lost in this farm prop as well as slower.
J. Clarkson: That is the face of a Hammond who knows that all the pre-flight checks in the world can't compensate for being stuck in an airborne tumble dryer with Esferos' slowest man at the controls. Also it's Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: No, Andoliavilla.
J. May: Officially it's called the Andolian Territories of Giovanniland, but they call it Giovandolia so that's what its name is.
J. Clarkson: James, we're not from Giovanniland, we're from Hertfordshire-Jammbo. We call it Endeuliyevil or Entestiprazye and that translates to Andoliaville.
R. Hammond: I maintain your wrongness on this.
J. May: I was being correct.
J. Clarkson: Pfft, whatever.
R. Hammond: No you weren't.
J. May: And anyway, it's a colony. They ought to leave this continent.
R. Hammond: Has James been swapped for a Varanian?
J. Clarkson: He's not a Varanian, but he is an old lady.
J. May: I'm a what? No sorry, I missed that.
R. Hammond: I mean... I knew he was from the 10th century, but really?
J. Clarkson: He's always been an old lady, he was born an old lady. Congratulations Mrs. May, it's an old lady!
[Hammond laughs into the air, May is confused.]
J. Clarkson: Anyway, back to the main topic, we're lost.
J. May: No we're not. I think.
R. Hammond: Whichever way you cut it, this is the wrong way.
J. Clarkson: Hang on a second. We're flying in a plane from the Armed Forces.
R. Hammond: Yeah.
J. Clarkson: I hope the Giovannilandians don't send a welcome party.
R. Hammond: How are you doing?
J. Clarkson: Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?
R. Hammond: We're going the wrong way, we've veered off west into Andoliavilla and are flying over it right now. So that's a no.
J. Clarkson: A route imposed by James' inability to use a map.
R. Hammond: We have to fly over every town. There's a place called Giovenoria that could be a bit tricky for us. Ugh...
[Hammond puts his head in his hands in despair. Clarkson adjusts the camera through which Hertfordians and Jammbonians (and Hertmerians) back home are watching them.]
J. Clarkson: So if you've just started watching us, an update on our trip for you. We're behind schedule... by miles.
[The plane continues to fly through Giovanniland and out onto the Darkesian Sea where it has to divert heavily to avoid encroaching onto any more countries. It's passing along the coast of Dilber when Hammond pipes up again when he tries to eat his lunch.]
R. Hammond: James. I've got no fork.
J. May: Yeah, it's not allowed on the flight.
R. Hammond: Well it's just as well 'cause if I had any cutlery right now it'd be sticking out your neck!
J. Clarkson: Richard.
R. Hammond: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: I found these sheets. Do you think I should show this to the audience?
R. Hammond: I don't see why not.
 
Style: +1.7 RP permissions If my opponent RPs first, they may... Injure my players: yes Assign my players yellow cards: no Assign my players red cards: no Godmod injuries: no Godmod scoring: no Godmod other events: no A sheet with what was seemingly useful drivel on there. But the trio had figured out that this must have been important otherwise it wouldn't be in the plane with them. It looked like some kind of permission slip.
J. Clarkson: Certainly, the roster of The Genesis is more of an engineering triumph than James' plane...
R. Hammond: We've got no bloody forks.
J. May: Stop whinging about the ruddy in-flight food, man.
R. Hammond: Fuck's sake...
J. May: And don't jig about, 'cause we're climbing. We're struggling a bit here.
R. Hammond: I am not jiggling!
J. May: Yeah, but Jeremy is.
R. Hammond:  How rubbish is this thing if I can't even lift a chocolate bar to my face without us crashing into a mountain of drugs or Quiyakaso?!
J. Clarkson: I know what will cheer you up, Richard. Let's talk about a car made back home, the Buralati Chirkov. More specifically, the special "Legends of the Snow" version that was made in honour of the Hertfordshire & Jammbo cricket team that won the T20 World Cup. You know, even though there are these huge cooling guts and the engine has no cover at all, that thing has 11 radiators. 4 to cool the engine itself, 3 for the intercoolers, 1 to do the axle oil, 1 to do the engine oil and 2 to cool the hydraulic fluid used to raise it's rear spoiler. ...It's got more radiators than my house!
R. Hammond: ...That was made in Hertfordshire & Jammbo?
J. Clarkson: I know it seems absurd but I promise you, it's not as far fetched as it seems. Most of our land is untouched countryside with mountain ranges, lakes, a lot of snow and miles of quiet straight roads. It's the sort of country a hypercar could unleash everything it has in, providing the roads aren't too covered in ice or frost.

The Buralati Chirkov that Clarkson was talking about. It has a quad-turbo W16 engine that produces 1,578bhp and goes to a top speed of 305m/h. It's the fastest car that Hertfordshire & Jammbo has managed thus far. It's named after legendary Hertmerian racing driver Lui Chirkov. He is believed to be living at Hestmere in Overthinkers, but this has yet to be proven.
R. Hammond: That is just... wow. Incredible.
J. Clarkson: You know what else is incredible?
R. Hammond: What?
J. Clarkson: James looks like he's preparing another lump of disappointment.
J. May: Hammond? Clarkson? We have to stop for fuel.
R. Hammond: Well, why didn't you put more in?
J. May: Well I filled it up. That's as much as it takes.
R. Hammond: So we've got to pull over for petrol?
J. May: Are you, er, are you familiar with the basic principles of flight?
R. Hammond: No.
J. May: One of the problems we have is because the plane is heavily loaded is that we need, essentially, more lift so we have to fly with the wings at a slightly higher angle...
R. Hammond: Oh god...
J. Clarkson: I'm nodding off.
[May continues his lecture, which takes so long that by the time he had finished, they were flying over their destination. Not that May was aware of this.]
J. Clarkson: Guys?
J. May: Yeah?
J. Clarkson: We're here. Look.
[Hammond and May look out of the windscreen and window respectively to see Ryxenia coming into view.]
J. May: Guess we don't need to stop for fuel after all. Just need to re-fill when we land.
J. Clarkson: Or whatever it is that flying fridge-freezers run on.
R. Hammond: I'm starting to think James' plane plan wasn't as lightning fast as I'd first imagined.
J. May: Remind me to tell the person who refuels our planes to stop being such a Fujansk trade unionist and get on with it.
J. Clarkson: Oh! Before we go, viewers, I want to show you this. It's the roster of The Mafia, otherwise known as The Genesis. I'd have shown this to you earlier but, well, you know...
[Clarkson uses his head to gesture to May.]
 
 
 
 
J. May: "Wait a minute. Why did Petersburg edit her profile to have horns?" | Esmeralda P.: "I don't have to disclose that." | R. Hammond: "The thing about having a deaf-mute captain is that no one besides us lot know what we're planning. Unless you happen to have complete knowledge of sign language."
J. Clarkson: Can I just point out that the first match of Hertfordshire & Jammbo has finished already? We drew 0-0 with Saint Mark.
J. May: Has it? How's that happened?
J. Clarkson: Maybe it has to do with the fact that your pre-flight checks and sense of direction have caused us to be catastrophically late?
J. May: Oh cock...
The trio and their plane finally landed in a field nearby Ryxenia, from which Clarkson and Hammond got into a Buralati Chirkov that the HAJFF had shipped to Ryxtylopia for them. May meanwhile chose to get on the team coach - named "The Ragnarök" - where he received a verbal hammering from assistant manager Tess on the way to Saltavacha.
                                  
| 𐑣𐑸'𐑘𐑱 𐑛𐑰 𐑤𐑨𐑛𐑟! (Ha'wei Di Ladz!) |
| Ha'way The Lads! |
| Придъ'няпредванеи На Младеч! (Pride'napredvanei Na Mladezh!) |
 

Nearby a weirdly fancy building in a town in the far west of Hertfordshire-Jammbo called Arkti in the county of Anglia...
J. Clarkson: Well, we got ourselves here. We're sorted and ready to go.
R. Hammond: Now, the national team's first match is against Saint Mark. They're known here for being the complete antithesis of Hertfordshire-Jammbo. Whereas they are the monocle-adjusting fancy-pants of Esferos, we are the slightly frozen over Village People.
J. May: They'll probably be eating truffles about now.
J. Clarkson: Δ65, they'll cost, for something that looks like a mummified testicle. Right, you two ready?
R. Hammond: Have we really got our own plane?
J. May: Yep.
R. Hammond: Fantastic! Let's go. Onwards to Ryxtylopia.
[The trio depart to the place where their plane is waiting.]
J. Clarkson: I'd better not have to deal with airport check-in again today.
R. Hammond: You see, this time because we're using a private plane, there's no check-in, no queuing, no waiting around. So this time, we are gonna leave early and we're gonna leave well.
J. Clarkson: So we are 181 Squadron.
R. Hammond: No Jeremy, that's Polaris.
J. May: We're 383 Squadron.
J. Clarkson: Ah.
R. Hammond: Forward to victory!
J. May: The Genesis are 11th in the rankings and are in a group with the current number one ranked team. Don't get carried away.
R. Hammond: Come on, have a little faith.
[The three make it to the field where their plane lies in wait... Clarkson rushes off to the lavatory.]
R. Hammond: Go.
J. Clarkson: Going.
J. May: Ah ha, now we get down to business.

The 0H-8J Combine Tractor that May has brought to take himself and his two colleagues to Ryxtylopia for the 3rd Football World Cup. If you may remember, the previous one was hosted right at home in Hertfordshire-Jammbo. Not sure how we landed that.
R. Hammond: Hang on a second! Is that it?
J. May: Well, it's a 0H-8J Combine Tractor.
R. Hammond: James, it's pathetic! It looks like something a farmer would leave behind.
J. May: Honestly, it's a good kite, this.
R. Hammond: ...Kite?!
[Clarkson comes back from the lavatory and sees the old military plane.]
J. Clarkson: Hello.
R. Hammond: He's trying to make us go in the sky in something you'd see poking out of a skip.
J. Clarkson: What is it? What's it called?
R. Hammond: 0H-8J Combine Tractor, whatever that is, it used to be an old crop duster I suspect.
J. Clarkson: This is a military aircraft apparently.
R. Hammond: And that's only the start.
J. Clarkson: It's basically a toaster with wings nailed to the sides.
R. Hammond: James, what are you actually doing now?
J. Clarkson: What's happening?
J. May: Well, you have to do pre-flight checks. Make sure stuff's all working properly. If you're really interested, I'm going to turn on the battery master switch along with checking the landing lights, stall warning vein, the heat and the flap operation-
R. Hammond: They're likely to have broken, since it was parked?
J. May: Well you don't know.
R. Hammond: What, like the plane picked itself up and nibbled away at all the wires or something...
J. Clarkson: If you look closely Richard you can see that James is really enjoying this.
R. Hammond: If you also look closely you can see that I'm not.
J. Clarkson: That makes two of us.
R. Hammond: How long do these checks take?
J. May: 20 minutes, half an hour.
R. Hammond: ...Not today, mate. You've got... y- there must be a way of doing this more quickly.
J. May: Why don't you shut up and do what airplane passengers do which is sit in the terminal, have a cup of tea, complain how expensive it is...
R. Hammond: I swear, he enjoys the checks more than the flying.
[May refills one of the oil compartments.]
J. May: Nice. Very nice.
J. Clarkson: If I tell you that The Genesis are already in sight of Ryxtylopia?
R. Hammond: God, we- we really have to get a move on. James! James! I just noticed the wings have come off. Oh no, no they're still on. You can tick those, they're alright. Yep, that's on.
J. May: Is it?
R. Hammond: These are on, look.
J. May: Tires, are they all up?
R. Hammond: Yes! Go.
J. Clarkson: James is still engaged in his pre-flight festival of analness?
R. Hammond: Think of it this way. One of us has lost the will to live. Guess which one.
[Clarkson can't help but laugh.]
J. May: Because it's been standing overnight, you have to make sure there's no sediment or water in the fuel which could cause-
R. Hammond: Is there any sediment or water in the fuel?!
J. May: Well you have to check it like this, look I'll show you. These are drain points, you use this special cup.
R. Hammond: Good, good. Oh look, it's clear.
J. May: You take a sample out and you make sure there's no water in it which you would see as a separate layer. See? Clear.
R. Hammond: Good. Go! In the sky.
J. May: Well there are five of these on each side and two under the engine.
[A time frame within 17 years later...]
J. May: Got your seatbelts on?
R. Hammond: Is this more checks?
J. May: No, seatbelt. Put in on.
R. Hammond: Yeah, it's on!
J. May: Okay.
[Clarkson and Hammond look at each other in sheer disbelief and exasperation.]
J. May: Hello, this is 0H-8J Combine Tractor Guilty Barricade Origin Zone Mirage, request taxi for a TGT flight to the Football World Cup in Ryxtylopia please.
J. Clarkson: Well that didn't take long at all.
J. May: I'm ready to go. Are you ready in the back?
R. Hammond: To the sky!
[The trio finally take to the skies on their way from Arkti in Hertfordshire-Jammbo to Ryxenia in Ryxtylopia.]
R. Hammond: You love this, don't you?
J. May: I quite like it, yeah.
J. Clarkson: You loved the checks more.
R. Hammond: James. We don't seem to be going very fast.
J. May: Well we're doing 80 knots indicated air speed.
R. Hammond: 80 knots is about 85, 90 miles/hour?
J. May: Yeah, it's not quite that simple 'cause we're now at a pressure altitude of nearly 7,000 feet so you have to consider the true air speed. Indicated air speed is what you fly on, that's the rate at which the air is hitting the airplane. But because it's thinner up here, we're actually going through the air faster than the indicated air speed.
J. Clarkson: The pre-flight checks have taken so long that by the time we're leaving Hertfordshire-Jammbo, The Mafia are leaving the sky itself.

This is the parent company of Slow Air, one of the two largest airline providers in Hertfordshire-Jammbo. The other is named Air Anglia. James really likes the lounges that Slow offers. They're doing the lounges for H&J's national team too. 
[Clarkson shows a small video clip of the Slow Air plane landing with the H&J football team and staff inside... the Tsar is there too.]
--------------------------------------------------
                                  
| 𐑣𐑸'𐑘𐑱 𐑛𐑰 𐑤𐑨𐑛𐑟! (Ha'wei Di Ladz!) |
| Ha'way The Lads! |
| Придъ'няпредванеи На Младеч! (Pride'napredvanei Na Mladezh!) |

Nearby a weirdly fancy building in a town in the far west of Hertfordshire-Jammbo called Arkti in the county of Anglia...
J. Clarkson: Well, we got ourselves here. We're sorted and ready to go.
R. Hammond: Now, the national team's first match is against Saint Mark. They're known here for being the complete antithesis of Hertfordshire-Jammbo. Whereas they are the monocle-adjusting fancy-pants of Esferos, we are the slightly frozen over Village People.
J. May: They'll probably be eating truffles about now.
J. Clarkson: Δ65, they'll cost, for something that looks like a mummified testicle. Right, you two ready?
R. Hammond: Have we really got our own plane?
J. May: Yep.
R. Hammond: Fantastic! Let's go. Onwards to Ryxtylopia.
[The trio depart to the place where their plane is waiting.]
J. Clarkson: I'd better not have to deal with airport check-in again today.
R. Hammond: You see, this time because we're using a private plane, there's no check-in, no queuing, no waiting around. So this time, we are gonna leave early and we're gonna leave well.
J. Clarkson: So we are 181 Squadron.
R. Hammond: No Jeremy, that's Polaris.
J. May: We're 383 Squadron.
J. Clarkson: Ah.
R. Hammond: Forward to victory!
J. May: The Genesis are 11th in the rankings and are in a group with the current number one ranked team. Don't get carried away.
R. Hammond: Come on, have a little faith.
[The three make it to the field where their plane lies in wait... Clarkson rushes off to the lavatory.]
R. Hammond: Go.
J. Clarkson: Going.
J. May: Ah ha, now we get down to business.

The 0H-8J Combine Tractor that May has brought to take himself and his two colleagues to Ryxtylopia for the 3rd Football World Cup. If you may remember, the previous one was hosted right at home in Hertfordshire-Jammbo. Not sure how we landed that.
R. Hammond: Hang on a second! Is that it?
J. May: Well, it's a 0H-8J Combine Tractor.
R. Hammond: James, it's pathetic! It looks like something a farmer would leave behind.
J. May: Honestly, it's a good kite, this.
R. Hammond: ...Kite?!
[Clarkson comes back from the lavatory and sees the old military plane.]
J. Clarkson: Hello.
R. Hammond: He's trying to make us go in the sky in something you'd see poking out of a skip.
J. Clarkson: What is it? What's it called?
R. Hammond: 0H-8J Combine Tractor, whatever that is, it used to be an old crop duster I suspect.
J. Clarkson: This is a military aircraft apparently.
R. Hammond: And that's only the start.
J. Clarkson: It's basically a toaster with wings nailed to the sides.
R. Hammond: James, what are you actually doing now?
J. Clarkson: What's happening?
J. May: Well, you have to do pre-flight checks. Make sure stuff's all working properly. If you're really interested, I'm going to turn on the battery master switch along with checking the landing lights, stall warning vein, the heat and the flap operation-
R. Hammond: They're likely to have broken, since it was parked?
J. May: Well you don't know.
R. Hammond: What, like the plane picked itself up and nibbled away at all the wires or something...
J. Clarkson: If you look closely Richard you can see that James is really enjoying this.
R. Hammond: If you also look closely you can see that I'm not.
J. Clarkson: That makes two of us.
R. Hammond: How long do these checks take?
J. May: 20 minutes, half an hour.
R. Hammond: ...Not today, mate. You've got... y- there must be a way of doing this more quickly.
J. May: Why don't you shut up and do what airplane passengers do which is sit in the terminal, have a cup of tea, complain how expensive it is...
R. Hammond: I swear, he enjoys the checks more than the flying.
[May refills one of the oil compartments.]
J. May: Nice. Very nice.
J. Clarkson: If I tell you that The Genesis are already in sight of Ryxtylopia?
R. Hammond: God, we- we really have to get a move on. James! James! I just noticed the wings have come off. Oh no, no they're still on. You can tick those, they're alright. Yep, that's on.
J. May: Is it?
R. Hammond: These are on, look.
J. May: Tires, are they all up?
R. Hammond: Yes! Go.
J. Clarkson: James is still engaged in his pre-flight festival of analness?
R. Hammond: Think of it this way. One of us has lost the will to live. Guess which one.
[Clarkson can't help but laugh.]
J. May: Because it's been standing overnight, you have to make sure there's no sediment or water in the fuel which could cause-
R. Hammond: Is there any sediment or water in the fuel?!
J. May: Well you have to check it like this, look I'll show you. These are drain points, you use this special cup.
R. Hammond: Good, good. Oh look, it's clear.
J. May: You take a sample out and you make sure there's no water in it which you would see as a separate layer. See? Clear.
R. Hammond: Good. Go! In the sky.
J. May: Well there are five of these on each side and two under the engine.
[A time frame within 17 years later...]
J. May: Got your seatbelts on?
R. Hammond: Is this more checks?
J. May: No, seatbelt. Put in on.
R. Hammond: Yeah, it's on!
J. May: Okay.
[Clarkson and Hammond look at each other in sheer disbelief and exasperation.]
J. May: Hello, this is 0H-8J Combine Tractor Guilty Barricade Origin Zone Mirage, request taxi for a TGT flight to the Football World Cup in Ryxtylopia please.
J. Clarkson: Well that didn't take long at all.
J. May: I'm ready to go. Are you ready in the back?
R. Hammond: To the sky!
[The trio finally take to the skies on their way from Arkti in Hertfordshire-Jammbo to Ryxenia in Ryxtylopia.]
R. Hammond: You love this, don't you?
J. May: I quite like it, yeah.
J. Clarkson: You loved the checks more.
R. Hammond: James. We don't seem to be going very fast.
J. May: Well we're doing 80 knots indicated air speed.
R. Hammond: 80 knots is about 85, 90 miles/hour?
J. May: Yeah, it's not quite that simple 'cause we're now at a pressure altitude of nearly 7,000 feet so you have to consider the true air speed. Indicated air speed is what you fly on, that's the rate at which the air is hitting the airplane. But because it's thinner up here, we're actually going through the air faster than the indicated air speed.
J. Clarkson: The pre-flight checks have taken so long that by the time we're leaving Hertfordshire-Jammbo, The Mafia are leaving the sky itself.

This is the parent company of Slow Air, one of the two largest airline providers in Hertfordshire-Jammbo. The other is named Air Anglia. James really likes the lounges that Slow offers. They're doing the lounges for H&J's national team too. 
[Clarkson shows a small video clip of the Slow Air plane landing with the H&J football team and staff inside... the Tsar is there too.]
--------------------------------------------------
                                  
| 𐑣𐑸'𐑘𐑱 𐑛𐑰 𐑤𐑨𐑛𐑟! (Ha'wei Di Ladz!) |
| Ha'way The Lads! |
| Придъ'няпредванеи На Младеч! (Pride'napredvanei Na Mladezh!) |

Nearby a weirdly fancy building in a town in the far west of Hertfordshire-Jammbo called Arkti in the county of Anglia...
J. Clarkson: Well, we got ourselves here. We're sorted and ready to go.
R. Hammond: Now, the national team's first match is against Saint Mark. They're known here for being the complete antithesis of Hertfordshire-Jammbo. Whereas they are the monocle-adjusting fancy-pants of Esferos, we are the slightly frozen over Village People.
J. May: They'll probably be eating truffles about now.
J. Clarkson: Δ65, they'll cost, for something that looks like a mummified testicle. Right, you two ready?
R. Hammond: Have we really got our own plane?
J. May: Yep.
R. Hammond: Fantastic! Let's go. Onwards to Ryxtylopia.
[The trio depart to the place where their plane is waiting.]
J. Clarkson: I'd better not have to deal with airport check-in again today.
R. Hammond: You see, this time because we're using a private plane, there's no check-in, no queuing, no waiting around. So this time, we are gonna leave early and we're gonna leave well.
J. Clarkson: So we are 181 Squadron.
R. Hammond: No Jeremy, that's Polaris.
J. May: We're 383 Squadron.
J. Clarkson: Ah.
R. Hammond: Forward to victory!
J. May: The Genesis are 11th in the rankings and are in a group with the current number one ranked team. Don't get carried away.
R. Hammond: Come on, have a little faith.
[The three make it to the field where their plane lies in wait... Clarkson rushes off to the lavatory.]
R. Hammond: Go.
J. Clarkson: Going.
J. May: Ah ha, now we get down to business.

The 0H-8J Combine Tractor that May has brought to take himself and his two colleagues to Ryxtylopia for the 3rd Football World Cup. If you may remember, the previous one was hosted right at home in Hertfordshire-Jammbo. Not sure how we landed that.
R. Hammond: Hang on a second! Is that it?
J. May: Well, it's a 0H-8J Combine Tractor.
R. Hammond: James, it's pathetic! It looks like something a farmer would leave behind.
J. May: Honestly, it's a good kite, this.
R. Hammond: ...Kite?!
[Clarkson comes back from the lavatory and sees the old military plane.]
J. Clarkson: Hello.
R. Hammond: He's trying to make us go in the sky in something you'd see poking out of a skip.
J. Clarkson: What is it? What's it called?
R. Hammond: 0H-8J Combine Tractor, whatever that is, it used to be an old crop duster I suspect.
J. Clarkson: This is a military aircraft apparently.
R. Hammond: And that's only the start.
J. Clarkson: It's basically a toaster with wings nailed to the sides.
R. Hammond: James, what are you actually doing now?
J. Clarkson: What's happening?
J. May: Well, you have to do pre-flight checks. Make sure stuff's all working properly. If you're really interested, I'm going to turn on the battery master switch along with checking the landing lights, stall warning vein, the heat and the flap operation-
R. Hammond: They're likely to have broken, since it was parked?
J. May: Well you don't know.
R. Hammond: What, like the plane picked itself up and nibbled away at all the wires or something...
J. Clarkson: If you look closely Richard you can see that James is really enjoying this.
R. Hammond: If you also look closely you can see that I'm not.
J. Clarkson: That makes two of us.
R. Hammond: How long do these checks take?
J. May: 20 minutes, half an hour.
R. Hammond: ...Not today, mate. You've got... y- there must be a way of doing this more quickly.
J. May: Why don't you shut up and do what airplane passengers do which is sit in the terminal, have a cup of tea, complain how expensive it is...
R. Hammond: I swear, he enjoys the checks more than the flying.
[May refills one of the oil compartments.]
J. May: Nice. Very nice.
J. Clarkson: If I tell you that The Genesis are already in sight of Ryxtylopia?
R. Hammond: God, we- we really have to get a move on. James! James! I just noticed the wings have come off. Oh no, no they're still on. You can tick those, they're alright. Yep, that's on.
J. May: Is it?
R. Hammond: These are on, look.
J. May: Tires, are they all up?
R. Hammond: Yes! Go.
J. Clarkson: James is still engaged in his pre-flight festival of analness?
R. Hammond: Think of it this way. One of us has lost the will to live. Guess which one.
[Clarkson can't help but laugh.]
J. May: Because it's been standing overnight, you have to make sure there's no sediment or water in the fuel which could cause-
R. Hammond: Is there any sediment or water in the fuel?!
J. May: Well you have to check it like this, look I'll show you. These are drain points, you use this special cup.
R. Hammond: Good, good. Oh look, it's clear.
J. May: You take a sample out and you make sure there's no water in it which you would see as a separate layer. See? Clear.
R. Hammond: Good. Go! In the sky.
J. May: Well there are five of these on each side and two under the engine.
[A time frame within 17 years later...]
J. May: Got your seatbelts on?
R. Hammond: Is this more checks?
J. May: No, seatbelt. Put in on.
R. Hammond: Yeah, it's on!
J. May: Okay.
[Clarkson and Hammond look at each other in sheer disbelief and exasperation.]
J. May: Hello, this is 0H-8J Combine Tractor Guilty Barricade Origin Zone Mirage, request taxi for a TGT flight to the Football World Cup in Ryxtylopia please.
J. Clarkson: Well that didn't take long at all.
J. May: I'm ready to go. Are you ready in the back?
R. Hammond: To the sky!
[The trio finally take to the skies on their way from Arkti in Hertfordshire-Jammbo to Ryxenia in Ryxtylopia.]
R. Hammond: You love this, don't you?
J. May: I quite like it, yeah.
J. Clarkson: You loved the checks more.
R. Hammond: James. We don't seem to be going very fast.
J. May: Well we're doing 80 knots indicated air speed.
R. Hammond: 80 knots is about 85, 90 miles/hour?
J. May: Yeah, it's not quite that simple 'cause we're now at a pressure altitude of nearly 7,000 feet so you have to consider the true air speed. Indicated air speed is what you fly on, that's the rate at which the air is hitting the airplane. But because it's thinner up here, we're actually going through the air faster than the indicated air speed.
J. Clarkson: The pre-flight checks have taken so long that by the time we're leaving Hertfordshire-Jammbo, The Mafia are leaving the sky itself.

This is the parent company of Slow Air, one of the two largest airline providers in Hertfordshire-Jammbo. The other is named Air Anglia. James really likes the lounges that Slow offers. They're doing the lounges for H&J's national team too. 
[Clarkson shows a small video clip of the Slow Air plane landing with the H&J football team and staff inside... the Tsar is there too.]
--------------------------------------------------
                                  
| 𐑣𐑸'𐑘𐑱 𐑛𐑰 𐑤𐑨𐑛𐑟! (Ha'wei Di Ladz!) |
| Ha'way The Lads! |
| Придъ'няпредванеи На Младеч! (Pride'napredvanei Na Mladezh!) |

Nearby a weirdly fancy building in a town in the far west of Hertfordshire-Jammbo called Arkti in the county of Anglia...
J. Clarkson: Well, we got ourselves here. We're sorted and ready to go.
R. Hammond: Now, the national team's first match is against Saint Mark. They're known here for being the complete antithesis of Hertfordshire-Jammbo. Whereas they are the monocle-adjusting fancy-pants of Esferos, we are the slightly frozen over Village People.
J. May: They'll probably be eating truffles about now.
J. Clarkson: Δ65, they'll cost, for something that looks like a mummified testicle. Right, you two ready?
R. Hammond: Have we really got our own plane?
J. May: Yep.
R. Hammond: Fantastic! Let's go. Onwards to Ryxtylopia.
[The trio depart to the place where their plane is waiting.]
J. Clarkson: I'd better not have to deal with airport check-in again today.
R. Hammond: You see, this time because we're using a private plane, there's no check-in, no queuing, no waiting around. So this time, we are gonna leave early and we're gonna leave well.
J. Clarkson: So we are 181 Squadron.
R. Hammond: No Jeremy, that's Polaris.
J. May: We're 383 Squadron.
J. Clarkson: Ah.
R. Hammond: Forward to victory!
J. May: The Genesis are 11th in the rankings and are in a group with the current number one ranked team. Don't get carried away.
R. Hammond: Come on, have a little faith.
[The three make it to the field where their plane lies in wait... Clarkson rushes off to the lavatory.]
R. Hammond: Go.
J. Clarkson: Going.
J. May: Ah ha, now we get down to business.

The 0H-8J Combine Tractor that May has brought to take himself and his two colleagues to Ryxtylopia for the 3rd Football World Cup. If you may remember, the previous one was hosted right at home in Hertfordshire-Jammbo. Not sure how we landed that.
R. Hammond: Hang on a second! Is that it?
J. May: Well, it's a 0H-8J Combine Tractor.
R. Hammond: James, it's pathetic! It looks like something a farmer would leave behind.
J. May: Honestly, it's a good kite, this.
R. Hammond: ...Kite?!
[Clarkson comes back from the lavatory and sees the old military plane.]
J. Clarkson: Hello.
R. Hammond: He's trying to make us go in the sky in something you'd see poking out of a skip.
J. Clarkson: What is it? What's it called?
R. Hammond: 0H-8J Combine Tractor, whatever that is, it used to be an old crop duster I suspect.
J. Clarkson: This is a military aircraft apparently.
R. Hammond: And that's only the start.
J. Clarkson: It's basically a toaster with wings nailed to the sides.
R. Hammond: James, what are you actually doing now?
J. Clarkson: What's happening?
J. May: Well, you have to do pre-flight checks. Make sure stuff's all working properly. If you're really interested, I'm going to turn on the battery master switch along with checking the landing lights, stall warning vein, the heat and the flap operation-
R. Hammond: They're likely to have broken, since it was parked?
J. May: Well you don't know.
R. Hammond: What, like the plane picked itself up and nibbled away at all the wires or something...
J. Clarkson: If you look closely Richard you can see that James is really enjoying this.
R. Hammond: If you also look closely you can see that I'm not.
J. Clarkson: That makes two of us.
R. Hammond: How long do these checks take?
J. May: 20 minutes, half an hour.
R. Hammond: ...Not today, mate. You've got... y- there must be a way of doing this more quickly.
J. May: Why don't you shut up and do what airplane passengers do which is sit in the terminal, have a cup of tea, complain how expensive it is...
R. Hammond: I swear, he enjoys the checks more than the flying.
[May refills one of the oil compartments.]
J. May: Nice. Very nice.
J. Clarkson: If I tell you that The Genesis are already in sight of Ryxtylopia?
R. Hammond: God, we- we really have to get a move on. James! James! I just noticed the wings have come off. Oh no, no they're still on. You can tick those, they're alright. Yep, that's on.
J. May: Is it?
R. Hammond: These are on, look.
J. May: Tires, are they all up?
R. Hammond: Yes! Go.
J. Clarkson: James is still engaged in his pre-flight festival of analness?
R. Hammond: Think of it this way. One of us has lost the will to live. Guess which one.
[Clarkson can't help but laugh.]
J. May: Because it's been standing overnight, you have to make sure there's no sediment or water in the fuel which could cause-
R. Hammond: Is there any sediment or water in the fuel?!
J. May: Well you have to check it like this, look I'll show you. These are drain points, you use this special cup.
R. Hammond: Good, good. Oh look, it's clear.
J. May: You take a sample out and you make sure there's no water in it which you would see as a separate layer. See? Clear.
R. Hammond: Good. Go! In the sky.
J. May: Well there are five of these on each side and two under the engine.
[A time frame within 17 years later...]
J. May: Got your seatbelts on?
R. Hammond: Is this more checks?
J. May: No, seatbelt. Put in on.
R. Hammond: Yeah, it's on!
J. May: Okay.
[Clarkson and Hammond look at each other in sheer disbelief and exasperation.]
J. May: Hello, this is 0H-8J Combine Tractor Guilty Barricade Origin Zone Mirage, request taxi for a TGT flight to the Football World Cup in Ryxtylopia please.
J. Clarkson: Well that didn't take long at all.
J. May: I'm ready to go. Are you ready in the back?
R. Hammond: To the sky!
[The trio finally take to the skies on their way from Arkti in Hertfordshire-Jammbo to Ryxenia in Ryxtylopia.]
R. Hammond: You love this, don't you?
J. May: I quite like it, yeah.
J. Clarkson: You loved the checks more.
R. Hammond: James. We don't seem to be going very fast.
J. May: Well we're doing 80 knots indicated air speed.
R. Hammond: 80 knots is about 85, 90 miles/hour?
J. May: Yeah, it's not quite that simple 'cause we're now at a pressure altitude of nearly 7,000 feet so you have to consider the true air speed. Indicated air speed is what you fly on, that's the rate at which the air is hitting the airplane. But because it's thinner up here, we're actually going through the air faster than the indicated air speed.
J. Clarkson: The pre-flight checks have taken so long that by the time we're leaving Hertfordshire-Jammbo, The Mafia are leaving the sky itself.

This is the parent company of Slow Air, one of the two largest airline providers in Hertfordshire-Jammbo. The other is named Air Anglia. James really likes the lounges that Slow offers. They're doing the lounges for H&J's national team too. 
[Clarkson shows a small video clip of the Slow Air plane landing with the H&J football team and staff inside... the Tsar is there too.]
--------------------------------------------------
                                  
| 𐑣𐑸'𐑘𐑱 𐑛𐑰 𐑤𐑨𐑛𐑟! (Ha'wei Di Ladz!) |
| Ha'way The Lads! |
| Придъ'няпредванеи На Младеч! (Pride'napredvanei Na Mladezh!) |

Nearby a weirdly fancy building in a town in the far west of Hertfordshire-Jammbo called Arkti in the county of Anglia...
J. Clarkson: Well, we got ourselves here. We're sorted and ready to go.
R. Hammond: Now, the national team's first match is against Saint Mark. They're known here for being the complete antithesis of Hertfordshire-Jammbo. Whereas they are the monocle-adjusting fancy-pants of Esferos, we are the slightly frozen over Village People.
J. May: They'll probably be eating truffles about now.
J. Clarkson: Δ65, they'll cost, for something that looks like a mummified testicle. Right, you two ready?
R. Hammond: Have we really got our own plane?
J. May: Yep.
R. Hammond: Fantastic! Let's go. Onwards to Ryxtylopia.
[The trio depart to the place where their plane is waiting.]
J. Clarkson: I'd better not have to deal with airport check-in again today.
R. Hammond: You see, this time because we're using a private plane, there's no check-in, no queuing, no waiting around. So this time, we are gonna leave early and we're gonna leave well.
J. Clarkson: So we are 181 Squadron.
R. Hammond: No Jeremy, that's Polaris.
J. May: We're 383 Squadron.
J. Clarkson: Ah.
R. Hammond: Forward to victory!
J. May: The Genesis are 11th in the rankings and are in a group with the current number one ranked team. Don't get carried away.
R. Hammond: Come on, have a little faith.
[The three make it to the field where their plane lies in wait... Clarkson rushes off to the lavatory.]
R. Hammond: Go.
J. Clarkson: Going.
J. May: Ah ha, now we get down to business.

The 0H-8J Combine Tractor that May has brought to take himself and his two colleagues to Ryxtylopia for the 3rd Football World Cup. If you may remember, the previous one was hosted right at home in Hertfordshire-Jammbo. Not sure how we landed that.
R. Hammond: Hang on a second! Is that it?
J. May: Well, it's a 0H-8J Combine Tractor.
R. Hammond: James, it's pathetic! It looks like something a farmer would leave behind.
J. May: Honestly, it's a good kite, this.
R. Hammond: ...Kite?!
[Clarkson comes back from the lavatory and sees the old military plane.]
J. Clarkson: Hello.
R. Hammond: He's trying to make us go in the sky in something you'd see poking out of a skip.
J. Clarkson: What is it? What's it called?
R. Hammond: 0H-8J Combine Tractor, whatever that is, it used to be an old crop duster I suspect.
J. Clarkson: This is a military aircraft apparently.
R. Hammond: And that's only the start.
J. Clarkson: It's basically a toaster with wings nailed to the sides.
R. Hammond: James, what are you actually doing now?
J. Clarkson: What's happening?
J. May: Well, you have to do pre-flight checks. Make sure stuff's all working properly. If you're really interested, I'm going to turn on the battery master switch along with checking the landing lights, stall warning vein, the heat and the flap operation-
R. Hammond: They're likely to have broken, since it was parked?
J. May: Well you don't know.
R. Hammond: What, like the plane picked itself up and nibbled away at all the wires or something...
J. Clarkson: If you look closely Richard you can see that James is really enjoying this.
R. Hammond: If you also look closely you can see that I'm not.
J. Clarkson: That makes two of us.
R. Hammond: How long do these checks take?
J. May: 20 minutes, half an hour.
R. Hammond: ...Not today, mate. You've got... y- there must be a way of doing this more quickly.
J. May: Why don't you shut up and do what airplane passengers do which is sit in the terminal, have a cup of tea, complain how expensive it is...
R. Hammond: I swear, he enjoys the checks more than the flying.
[May refills one of the oil compartments.]
J. May: Nice. Very nice.
J. Clarkson: If I tell you that The Genesis are already in sight of Ryxtylopia?
R. Hammond: God, we- we really have to get a move on. James! James! I just noticed the wings have come off. Oh no, no they're still on. You can tick those, they're alright. Yep, that's on.
J. May: Is it?
R. Hammond: These are on, look.
J. May: Tires, are they all up?
R. Hammond: Yes! Go.
J. Clarkson: James is still engaged in his pre-flight festival of analness?
R. Hammond: Think of it this way. One of us has lost the will to live. Guess which one.
[Clarkson can't help but laugh.]
J. May: Because it's been standing overnight, you have to make sure there's no sediment or water in the fuel which could cause-
R. Hammond: Is there any sediment or water in the fuel?!
J. May: Well you have to check it like this, look I'll show you. These are drain points, you use this special cup.
R. Hammond: Good, good. Oh look, it's clear.
J. May: You take a sample out and you make sure there's no water in it which you would see as a separate layer. See? Clear.
R. Hammond: Good. Go! In the sky.
J. May: Well there are five of these on each side and two under the engine.
[A time frame within 17 years later...]
J. May: Got your seatbelts on?
R. Hammond: Is this more checks?
J. May: No, seatbelt. Put in on.
R. Hammond: Yeah, it's on!
J. May: Okay.
[Clarkson and Hammond look at each other in sheer disbelief and exasperation.]
J. May: Hello, this is 0H-8J Combine Tractor Guilty Barricade Origin Zone Mirage, request taxi for a TGT flight to the Football World Cup in Ryxtylopia please.
J. Clarkson: Well that didn't take long at all.
J. May: I'm ready to go. Are you ready in the back?
R. Hammond: To the sky!
[The trio finally take to the skies on their way from Arkti in Hertfordshire-Jammbo to Ryxenia in Ryxtylopia.]
R. Hammond: You love this, don't you?
J. May: I quite like it, yeah.
J. Clarkson: You loved the checks more.
R. Hammond: James. We don't seem to be going very fast.
J. May: Well we're doing 80 knots indicated air speed.
R. Hammond: 80 knots is about 85, 90 miles/hour?
J. May: Yeah, it's not quite that simple 'cause we're now at a pressure altitude of nearly 7,000 feet so you have to consider the true air speed. Indicated air speed is what you fly on, that's the rate at which the air is hitting the airplane. But because it's thinner up here, we're actually going through the air faster than the indicated air speed.
J. Clarkson: The pre-flight checks have taken so long that by the time we're leaving Hertfordshire-Jammbo, The Mafia are leaving the sky itself.

This is the parent company of Slow Air, one of the two largest airline providers in Hertfordshire-Jammbo. The other is named Air Anglia. James really likes the lounges that Slow offers. They're doing the lounges for H&J's national team too. 
[Clarkson shows a small video clip of the Slow Air plane landing with the H&J football team and staff inside... the Tsar is there too.]
--------------------------------------------------
                                  
| 𐑣𐑸'𐑘𐑱 𐑛𐑰 𐑤𐑨𐑛𐑟! (Ha'wei Di Ladz!) |
| Ha'way The Lads! |
| Придъ'няпредванеи На Младеч! (Pride'napredvanei Na Mladezh!) |

Nearby a weirdly fancy building in a town in the far west of Hertfordshire-Jammbo called Arkti in the county of Anglia...
J. Clarkson: Well, we got ourselves here. We're sorted and ready to go.
R. Hammond: Now, the national team's first match is against Saint Mark. They're known here for being the complete antithesis of Hertfordshire-Jammbo. Whereas they are the monocle-adjusting fancy-pants of Esferos, we are the slightly frozen over Village People.
J. May: They'll probably be eating truffles about now.
J. Clarkson: Δ65, they'll cost, for something that looks like a mummified testicle. Right, you two ready?
R. Hammond: Have we really got our own plane?
J. May: Yep.
R. Hammond: Fantastic! Let's go. Onwards to Ryxtylopia.
[The trio depart to the place where their plane is waiting.]
J. Clarkson: I'd better not have to deal with airport check-in again today.
R. Hammond: You see, this time because we're using a private plane, there's no check-in, no queuing, no waiting around. So this time, we are gonna leave early and we're gonna leave well.
J. Clarkson: So we are 181 Squadron.
R. Hammond: No Jeremy, that's Polaris.
J. May: We're 383 Squadron.
J. Clarkson: Ah.
R. Hammond: Forward to victory!
J. May: The Genesis are 11th in the rankings and are in a group with the current number one ranked team. Don't get carried away.
R. Hammond: Come on, have a little faith.
[The three make it to the field where their plane lies in wait... Clarkson rushes off to the lavatory.]
R. Hammond: Go.
J. Clarkson: Going.
J. May: Ah ha, now we get down to business.

The 0H-8J Combine Tractor that May has brought to take himself and his two colleagues to Ryxtylopia for the 3rd Football World Cup. If you may remember, the previous one was hosted right at home in Hertfordshire-Jammbo. Not sure how we landed that.
R. Hammond: Hang on a second! Is that it?
J. May: Well, it's a 0H-8J Combine Tractor.
R. Hammond: James, it's pathetic! It looks like something a farmer would leave behind.
J. May: Honestly, it's a good kite, this.
R. Hammond: ...Kite?!
[Clarkson comes back from the lavatory and sees the old military plane.]
J. Clarkson: Hello.
R. Hammond: He's trying to make us go in the sky in something you'd see poking out of a skip.
J. Clarkson: What is it? What's it called?
R. Hammond: 0H-8J Combine Tractor, whatever that is, it used to be an old crop duster I suspect.
J. Clarkson: This is a military aircraft apparently.
R. Hammond: And that's only the start.
J. Clarkson: It's basically a toaster with wings nailed to the sides.
R. Hammond: James, what are you actually doing now?
J. Clarkson: What's happening?
J. May: Well, you have to do pre-flight checks. Make sure stuff's all working properly. If you're really interested, I'm going to turn on the battery master switch along with checking the landing lights, stall warning vein, the heat and the flap operation-
R. Hammond: They're likely to have broken, since it was parked?
J. May: Well you don't know.
R. Hammond: What, like the plane picked itself up and nibbled away at all the wires or something...
J. Clarkson: If you look closely Richard you can see that James is really enjoying this.
R. Hammond: If you also look closely you can see that I'm not.
J. Clarkson: That makes two of us.
R. Hammond: How long do these checks take?
J. May: 20 minutes, half an hour.
R. Hammond: ...Not today, mate. You've got... y- there must be a way of doing this more quickly.
J. May: Why don't you shut up and do what airplane passengers do which is sit in the terminal, have a cup of tea, complain how expensive it is...
R. Hammond: I swear, he enjoys the checks more than the flying.
[May refills one of the oil compartments.]
J. May: Nice. Very nice.
J. Clarkson: If I tell you that The Genesis are already in sight of Ryxtylopia?
R. Hammond: God, we- we really have to get a move on. James! James! I just noticed the wings have come off. Oh no, no they're still on. You can tick those, they're alright. Yep, that's on.
J. May: Is it?
R. Hammond: These are on, look.
J. May: Tires, are they all up?
R. Hammond: Yes! Go.
J. Clarkson: James is still engaged in his pre-flight festival of analness?
R. Hammond: Think of it this way. One of us has lost the will to live. Guess which one.
[Clarkson can't help but laugh.]
J. May: Because it's been standing overnight, you have to make sure there's no sediment or water in the fuel which could cause-
R. Hammond: Is there any sediment or water in the fuel?!
J. May: Well you have to check it like this, look I'll show you. These are drain points, you use this special cup.
R. Hammond: Good, good. Oh look, it's clear.
J. May: You take a sample out and you make sure there's no water in it which you would see as a separate layer. See? Clear.
R. Hammond: Good. Go! In the sky.
J. May: Well there are five of these on each side and two under the engine.
[A time frame within 17 years later...]
J. May: Got your seatbelts on?
R. Hammond: Is this more checks?
J. May: No, seatbelt. Put in on.
R. Hammond: Yeah, it's on!
J. May: Okay.
[Clarkson and Hammond look at each other in sheer disbelief and exasperation.]
J. May: Hello, this is 0H-8J Combine Tractor Guilty Barricade Origin Zone Mirage, request taxi for a TGT flight to the Football World Cup in Ryxtylopia please.
J. Clarkson: Well that didn't take long at all.
J. May: I'm ready to go. Are you ready in the back?
R. Hammond: To the sky!
[The trio finally take to the skies on their way from Arkti in Hertfordshire-Jammbo to Ryxenia in Ryxtylopia.]
R. Hammond: You love this, don't you?
J. May: I quite like it, yeah.
J. Clarkson: You loved the checks more.
R. Hammond: James. We don't seem to be going very fast.
J. May: Well we're doing 80 knots indicated air speed.
R. Hammond: 80 knots is about 85, 90 miles/hour?
J. May: Yeah, it's not quite that simple 'cause we're now at a pressure altitude of nearly 7,000 feet so you have to consider the true air speed. Indicated air speed is what you fly on, that's the rate at which the air is hitting the airplane. But because it's thinner up here, we're actually going through the air faster than the indicated air speed.
J. Clarkson: The pre-flight checks have taken so long that by the time we're leaving Hertfordshire-Jammbo, The Mafia are leaving the sky itself.

This is the parent company of Slow Air, one of the two largest airline providers in Hertfordshire-Jammbo. The other is named Air Anglia. James really likes the lounges that Slow offers. They're doing the lounges for H&J's national team too. 
[Clarkson shows a small video clip of the Slow Air plane landing with the H&J football team and staff inside... the Tsar is there too.]
--------------------------------------------------
                                  
| 𐑣𐑸'𐑘𐑱 𐑛𐑰 𐑤𐑨𐑛𐑟! (Ha'wei Di Ladz!) |
| Ha'way The Lads! |
| Придъ'няпредванеи На Младеч! (Pride'napredvanei Na Mladezh!) |

No surprise, the resident 'middle of frozen nowhere' (and previous hosts) will be attending.
                 
Pondering a change to the team logo and HNDFF logo.

No surprise, the resident 'middle of frozen nowhere' (and previous hosts) will be attending.
                 
Pondering a change to the team logo and HNDFF logo.

Signups and OOC Thread
There's already a lot of talk about doing an F1-like competition for Esferos. But while I open this signup and OOC thread, this gives me a gauge of how many people actually want to do it and provides an initial baseline of the number of users willing to RP until the end of the season/calendar of this competition.
This competition (emphasis on the word I used, "competition," rather than "tournament") will be different from the usual because this will not happen and will end in just one (1) month. I am currently looking at the season/calendar for this competition will roughly be eight (8) months, depending on the number of signups. However, we will only utilize a maximum of one week per event per month to minimize RP-writing burnouts. A race weekend will start on a Friday with practice, with qualifyings happening on Saturday, and the competitive race on Sunday.
For roleplays in the season, I will allow as much as one (1) week before the start of the practice for RPs to be posted. Cut-offs will happen three times in a race weekend, one before scorinating the results of the practice (receiving a maximum of one (1) point), one before scorinating the results of the qualifying (receiving a maximum of one (1) point), and one before scorinating the results of the race (receiving a maximum of one (1) point), for a total of three (3) points from RPing for the whole weekend.
A season-wide RP bonus will also be given for teams and drivers RPing on the signing of a driver for the team (receiving a maximum of one (1) point), the teams and engine manufacturers coming to terms on which engine to use (receiving a maximum of one (1) point), and the teams and tire manufacturers coming to terms which tire to use (receiving a maximum of one (1) point). If no RP is posted but only announced in this OOC thread, there will only be 0.1 points for each decision made by a team. A team is allowed to have a maximum of two (2) drivers.
Multiple signups will happen in this thread, of which the IC thread will be posted after many signups are posted. The IC thread will start with the pre-season, for teams deciding to roleplay which driver to sign and which engine and tire to use. However, the Team, Engine, and Tire Signups will only be reserved for Veteran Storytellers (subject to change with the agreement between Loremasters and Lorekeepers). All Storytellers will be able to signup a driver and circuit (circuit signups are subject to scrutiny by Loremasters for realism), with Veteran Storytellers being able to signup a maximum of two (2) drivers for this competition.
I will only select 3-4 tire suppliers, with no limit to the number of approved engine suppliers.
This season, we will use The Racing Scorinator (TRS) v2.5.6, the standard Motorsports / Auto Racing RP scorinator of NS Sport.
Again, no double-posting (except for me to submit my signups)! You can always edit your post to include any necessary edits that you need to your post.
Driver Signups
(All drivers will be free agents at the start of the pre-season until signed by a team.)
Circuit Signups
Team Signups
Engine Signups
Tire Signups
Received Signups
Driver Signups
Circuit Signups
Team Signups
Engine Signups
Tire Signups

[OOC: Malfunction of computer forced this sign-up to arrive later than the intended posting time at 02:00 GMT] Drivers Driver Name: Richard Hammond Name Trigram: RHA Nationality Trigram: HEJ Preferred Car Number: 00 Second Choice Car Number: 8 Reliability (Between 2 and 5): 2 Aggression (Between 2 and 5): 5 Technique (Between 2 and 5): 5 Information: This driver is known as Sir Crash-A-Lot. Driver Name: James May Name Trigram: JMA Nationality Trigram: HEJ Preferred Car Number: 0 Second Choice Car Number: 3 Reliability (Between 2 and 5): 5 Aggression (Between 2 and 5): 2 Technique (Between 2 and 5): 5 Information: This driver is known as Captain Slow. -------------------------------------------------- Circuit Circuit Name: Sleetgrave Cemetery Circuit Race Name: The Hertfordshire-Jammbo Grand Prix Track Image: https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/577959042631204895/1097306236996833280/image.png?width=797&height=585 Track Length (km): 8.4404km Qualifying Type: Traditional Track aggressiveness (1-10): 1 Track technicality (1-10): 9 Overtaking Difficulty: 3.9 Margin for error: 4.5 -------------------------------------------------- Team Team Name: Regalia Genesis (Full Name: Racing Team Regalia Genesis) Team Nation: Hertfordshire and Jammbo Nationality Trigram: HEJ Team colour (in hex code): #000000 Reliability (Between 3 and 5): 4 Acceleration (Between 2 and 5): 3 Turning (Between 2 and 5): 5 -------------------------------------------------- Engine Engine manufacturer: Flag of Convenience Engine name (if different): Mihashira Reliability (between -1 and 1): 0.6 Actuation (between -1 and 1): -0.8 Tare (between -1 and 1): 0.2 -------------------------------------------------- Tires Manufacturer Name: Eclipse Reliability (Between -1 and 1): 0.3 Traction (Between -1 and 1): -0.3 -------------------------------------------------- The vehicle used by Regalia Genesis: https://images.nightcafe.studio/jobs/ivjtmizXjCPhc7tbpGeI/ivjtmizXjCPhc7tbpGeI--1--2v3s1.jpg?tr=w-1600,c-at_max The logo of Regalia Genesis: ERROR 404 - Image Not Found

[OOC: Malfunction of computer forced this sign-up to arrive later than the intended posting time at 02:00 GMT] Drivers Driver Name: Richard Hammond Name Trigram: RHA Nationality Trigram: HEJ Preferred Car Number: 00 Second Choice Car Number: 8 Reliability (Between 2 and 5): 2 Aggression (Between 2 and 5): 5 Technique (Between 2 and 5): 5 Information: This driver is known as Sir Crash-A-Lot. Driver Name: James May Name Trigram: JMA Nationality Trigram: HEJ Preferred Car Number: 0 Second Choice Car Number: 3 Reliability (Between 2 and 5): 5 Aggression (Between 2 and 5): 2 Technique (Between 2 and 5): 5 Information: This driver is known as Captain Slow. -------------------------------------------------- Circuit Circuit Name: Sleetgrave Cemetery Circuit Race Name: The Hertfordshire-Jammbo Grand Prix Track Image: https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/577959042631204895/1097306236996833280/image.png?width=797&height=585 Track Length (km): 8.4404km Qualifying Type: Traditional Track aggressiveness (1-10): 1 Track technicality (1-10): 9 Overtaking Difficulty: 3.9 Margin for error: 4.5 -------------------------------------------------- Team Team Name: Regalia Genesis (Full Name: Racing Team Regalia Genesis) Team Nation: Hertfordshire and Jammbo Nationality Trigram: HEJ Team colour (in hex code): #000000 Reliability (Between 3 and 5): 4 Acceleration (Between 2 and 5): 3 Turning (Between 2 and 5): 5 -------------------------------------------------- Engine Engine manufacturer: Flag of Convenience Engine name (if different): Mihashira Reliability (between -1 and 1): 0.6 Actuation (between -1 and 1): -0.8 Tare (between -1 and 1): 0.2 -------------------------------------------------- Tires Manufacturer Name: Eclipse Reliability (Between -1 and 1): 0.3 Traction (Between -1 and 1): -0.3 -------------------------------------------------- The vehicle used by Regalia Genesis: https://images.nightcafe.studio/jobs/ivjtmizXjCPhc7tbpGeI/ivjtmizXjCPhc7tbpGeI--1--2v3s1.jpg?tr=w-1600,c-at_max The logo of Regalia Genesis: ERROR 404 - Image Not Found

With training complete and nothing else to do, Nagisa gathered some O.S.T. made back home and had everyone choose a personal theme...
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: The rest of you presumably already know of my inability to take part.]
Rococo U.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: Oh right. I'd forgotten that you're deaf and mute.]
Rago N.: That just means the rest of us will listen to our chosen OST without her.
Gwyn R.: It's none of my business, but we should find a way to allow Shizune and The Stig to experience this. I mean, Lisa and I have already figured out a way to bypass the deafness.
Nagisa I.: Really? But how?
Seiya N.: I know you two are intellectual prodigies in the conventional sense, but is that even possible?
Lisa L.: Yesh. With the help of my latest invention, we will be able to transhlate the shound of the O.Sh.T. into electronical information that will be transhmitted to the brain through theshe wiresh. It will be ash if you were lishtening to it in your head. Gwyn'sh mathematical calculationsh formed the bashish of thish technology. I am sure it will sholve the problems that come with the shircumshtancesh behind Shizune's mutenessh.
[Lisa makes it abundantly clear that she has a lisp, hence the 's' sounds being (OOC: written as) 'sh' instead. Gwyn signs Lisa's words to Shizune.]
Nagisa I.: Wow...
Julian K.: I'm meant to be the most talented person in the country, and I could never create that.
Tess D.: Looks like some of us have more free time than others.
Seiya N.: They've probably been working on this for a while now.
[Seiya glances over at The Stig, who acts as translator for Shizune when the others aren't directly conversing with her.]
Seiya N.: Still, I never would have imagined something like that was even possible.
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: If this works, then it would prove useful. Come on Origami, we need to get this sorted, follow my lead.]
[Shizune took command of the situation to Lisa's surprise and showed the rest of the team just how much of a fearsome taskmaster she can be. Gwyn was unimpressed.]
Origami T.: This attaches to your head?
Rago N.: That's what it appears to be for.
Krux H.: Can you get on with it? We don't have all day.
Shu K.: Don't rush them Krux. They know what they're doing.
Delta Z.: No scientist is immune from making mistakes. The same goes for Lisa.
[Gwyn has the urge to chime up and mention how math played a part, but decides not to. Delta notices Gwyn in his peripheral vision.]
Delta Z.: Hm?
Gwyn R.: However, there is no guarantee that it will work. This is its first use.
Eirin Y.: It's too bad, if it does disappoint.
[The rest of the team ponder which one of the geniuses out of Lisa, Gwyn and Eirin to believe.]
Arthur P.: I hope it fails. James, you agree, don't you? ...James, I command you to stop ignoring me!
James M.: I'm not convinced by that though because I think electricity is a mystery. It is. Yep. I don't actually believe in it. Nobody really understands it.
Delta Z.: You don't believe in electricity?
Richard H.: What you're witnessing here is Asperger's made real.
Futo M.: Is that the item that makes thy urine smell most hilarious?
Hyouka F.: No!
Naho S.: No, that's asparagus.
Mizore S.: I think Shizune is ready, shall I turn on the device?
Clarkov S.: I'd wait, seems to me like Lisa is in the middle of something.
The Stig: ... [Sign langauge -> Translation: Where did you appear from?]
Seiya N.: That reminds me, I have some news you'll need to hear. Zoranian queen Atsil has been sent off by her ministers to seek therapy. It seems like something you normally don't care about, but keep listening.
Delta Z.: When we saw that, we quickly realised that for all the 10-11 years of emotional and mental torment you've had to put up with over your childhood, coupled with the time you had to spend as Prime Minister because of a previous imbecilic lack of age limits (which are not in place for this team), you still haven't done the same.
Rococo U.: It's a lucky thing you never had to attend full time besides events such as the Esferiad. The country effectively ran like an absolute monarchy before that lack of limit was remedied. Anyway, what we're saying is you need to book counselling after this tournament. It'll do a great job for your wellbeing.
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: I concur. You've already been able to be your true self, but you can't shoulder recovery alone. You'll end up pushing away those who care about you. Take it from someone with experience of doing just that. You'll mentally cripple yourself if you don't seek help.]
Eirin Y.: There'll be no need for waiting. Free has already requested me to be the therapist.
Rago N.: You were the one that planned this?
Free d. l. H.: That's right. I'm not about to let Clarkov destroy themselves.
[Clarkov is in mild shock over hearing this and takes some time to process what they just heard. They simply turn to Free and nod and flash a small smile in appreciation as thanks.]
Rago N.: Sometimes your goodness annoys me.
Rococo U.: So that's settled. Don't worry, Snow Sage, you'll benefit from this. Lisa, we're all set, right? Let's kick off!
[Lisa attaches the device to Shizune's head and the OST list begins. Along the way, everyone wonders what the words in some of the themes are. They chalk them off as the H&J equivalent of "Ominous Marcarian Chanting". Even when it clearly wasn't. Some also get creeped out by a few of the choices. Most notably was the often ridiculous names each of them had chosen for the OST.]
--------------------------------------------------
Julian's Theme - Emperor Konstantinov: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWKbi13wE54
Shizune's Theme - The Student Council: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2eWjPEA8Sc
James' Theme - Big Ideas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt1PVYiHr6o
Free's Theme - Golden God: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBxsZSckvO0
Mizore's Theme - Prisoner of Passion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rJ79MYctZ4
Stig's Theme - Top Gear: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwX-KS1816c
Lits' Theme - Another Beginning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kAM42Z9gd4
Seiya's Theme - A Heated Battle With Lunar Prime: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjZgR4FPfzg
Promestein's Theme - Promestein 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHrftVDITso
Gankyou's Theme - Violence Competition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15X7QsyJMAs
Hyouka's Theme - Another Face: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BERBNmUesOM
Damian's Theme - Gates of Hell: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6syedhzF_U
Naho's Theme - Solitude of Frenzy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3m2i5vKVvRk
Faust's Theme - Twisted Tempo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5ybfMqA7uk
Futo's Theme - Legend of the Great Gods: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POUxrKNkbA4
Eirin's Theme - History of the Moon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-xhqldl_mw
Jeremy's Theme - Classical Gas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKCvYyVTJ6Q
Rococo's Theme - Birth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IB2j6qBUWsM
Arthur's Theme - The New King: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pynw4Exsvr0
Tess' Theme - Bloodstained Rose: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3X9LvC9WkkQ
Clarkov's Theme - The Snow Sage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8Ev-wurPT0
Kanako's Theme - Venerable Ancient Battlefield: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITYCfbE76ZM
Krux's Theme - Hands of Time Reunited: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-QRIaGhjn8
Lain's Theme - Pitch-Black Flame: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7loJRR9hOgg + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Npm_UDb487w
Shu's Theme - Spirit of Fire: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HAKWe9mWZQ
Richard's Theme - Blast Lab: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBUh1XzTMSg
Delta's Theme - The Shining Star: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4duurmpu8Q
Gwyn's Theme - Beginning Equation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kvqd9UPulqI
Origami's Theme - AHIH: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKZbwuwXTNY
Rago's Theme - Diablo Nemesis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9JVtBrFVgI
Sage's Theme - To Whom?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMaNTdn7Y90
Lisa's Theme - Periodic Table Rap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxSe_Zrig_g
Fuusuke's Theme - Superhuman Team Diamond Dust: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DOZ4hcwpog
Nagisa's Theme - Midnight Music Room: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2yPtY0uvmM
--------------------------------------------------
 
 
It would appear that one of the team members is now finally set to receive a therapy session of their own. Multiple of them.

                                  

With training complete and nothing else to do, Nagisa gathered some O.S.T. made back home and had everyone choose a personal theme...
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: The rest of you presumably already know of my inability to take part.]
Rococo U.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: Oh right. I'd forgotten that you're deaf and mute.]
Rago N.: That just means the rest of us will listen to our chosen OST without her.
Gwyn R.: It's none of my business, but we should find a way to allow Shizune and The Stig to experience this. I mean, Lisa and I have already figured out a way to bypass the deafness.
Nagisa I.: Really? But how?
Seiya N.: I know you two are intellectual prodigies in the conventional sense, but is that even possible?
Lisa L.: Yesh. With the help of my latest invention, we will be able to transhlate the shound of the O.Sh.T. into electronical information that will be transhmitted to the brain through theshe wiresh. It will be ash if you were lishtening to it in your head. Gwyn'sh mathematical calculationsh formed the bashish of thish technology. I am sure it will sholve the problems that come with the shircumshtancesh behind Shizune's mutenessh.
[Lisa makes it abundantly clear that she has a lisp, hence the 's' sounds being (OOC: written as) 'sh' instead. Gwyn signs Lisa's words to Shizune.]
Nagisa I.: Wow...
Julian K.: I'm meant to be the most talented person in the country, and I could never create that.
Tess D.: Looks like some of us have more free time than others.
Seiya N.: They've probably been working on this for a while now.
[Seiya glances over at The Stig, who acts as translator for Shizune when the others aren't directly conversing with her.]
Seiya N.: Still, I never would have imagined something like that was even possible.
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: If this works, then it would prove useful. Come on Origami, we need to get this sorted, follow my lead.]
[Shizune took command of the situation to Lisa's surprise and showed the rest of the team just how much of a fearsome taskmaster she can be. Gwyn was unimpressed.]
Origami T.: This attaches to your head?
Rago N.: That's what it appears to be for.
Krux H.: Can you get on with it? We don't have all day.
Shu K.: Don't rush them Krux. They know what they're doing.
Delta Z.: No scientist is immune from making mistakes. The same goes for Lisa.
[Gwyn has the urge to chime up and mention how math played a part, but decides not to. Delta notices Gwyn in his peripheral vision.]
Delta Z.: Hm?
Gwyn R.: However, there is no guarantee that it will work. This is its first use.
Eirin Y.: It's too bad, if it does disappoint.
[The rest of the team ponder which one of the geniuses out of Lisa, Gwyn and Eirin to believe.]
Arthur P.: I hope it fails. James, you agree, don't you? ...James, I command you to stop ignoring me!
James M.: I'm not convinced by that though because I think electricity is a mystery. It is. Yep. I don't actually believe in it. Nobody really understands it.
Delta Z.: You don't believe in electricity?
Richard H.: What you're witnessing here is Asperger's made real.
Futo M.: Is that the item that makes thy urine smell most hilarious?
Hyouka F.: No!
Naho S.: No, that's asparagus.
Mizore S.: I think Shizune is ready, shall I turn on the device?
Clarkov S.: I'd wait, seems to me like Lisa is in the middle of something.
The Stig: ... [Sign langauge -> Translation: Where did you appear from?]
Seiya N.: That reminds me, I have some news you'll need to hear. Zoranian queen Atsil has been sent off by her ministers to seek therapy. It seems like something you normally don't care about, but keep listening.
Delta Z.: When we saw that, we quickly realised that for all the 10-11 years of emotional and mental torment you've had to put up with over your childhood, coupled with the time you had to spend as Prime Minister because of a previous imbecilic lack of age limits (which are not in place for this team), you still haven't done the same.
Rococo U.: It's a lucky thing you never had to attend full time besides events such as the Esferiad. The country effectively ran like an absolute monarchy before that lack of limit was remedied. Anyway, what we're saying is you need to book counselling after this tournament. It'll do a great job for your wellbeing.
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: I concur. You've already been able to be your true self, but you can't shoulder recovery alone. You'll end up pushing away those who care about you. Take it from someone with experience of doing just that. You'll mentally cripple yourself if you don't seek help.]
Eirin Y.: There'll be no need for waiting. Free has already requested me to be the therapist.
Rago N.: You were the one that planned this?
Free d. l. H.: That's right. I'm not about to let Clarkov destroy themselves.
[Clarkov is in mild shock over hearing this and takes some time to process what they just heard. They simply turn to Free and nod and flash a small smile in appreciation as thanks.]
Rago N.: Sometimes your goodness annoys me.
Rococo U.: So that's settled. Don't worry, Snow Sage, you'll benefit from this. Lisa, we're all set, right? Let's kick off!
[Lisa attaches the device to Shizune's head and the OST list begins. Along the way, everyone wonders what the words in some of the themes are. They chalk them off as the H&J equivalent of "Ominous Marcarian Chanting". Even when it clearly wasn't. Some also get creeped out by a few of the choices. Most notably was the often ridiculous names each of them had chosen for the OST.]
--------------------------------------------------
Julian's Theme - Emperor Konstantinov: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWKbi13wE54
Shizune's Theme - The Student Council: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2eWjPEA8Sc
James' Theme - Big Ideas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt1PVYiHr6o
Free's Theme - Golden God: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBxsZSckvO0
Mizore's Theme - Prisoner of Passion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rJ79MYctZ4
Stig's Theme - Top Gear: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwX-KS1816c
Lits' Theme - Another Beginning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kAM42Z9gd4
Seiya's Theme - A Heated Battle With Lunar Prime: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjZgR4FPfzg
Promestein's Theme - Promestein 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHrftVDITso
Gankyou's Theme - Violence Competition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15X7QsyJMAs
Hyouka's Theme - Another Face: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BERBNmUesOM
Damian's Theme - Gates of Hell: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6syedhzF_U
Naho's Theme - Solitude of Frenzy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3m2i5vKVvRk
Faust's Theme - Twisted Tempo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5ybfMqA7uk
Futo's Theme - Legend of the Great Gods: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POUxrKNkbA4
Eirin's Theme - History of the Moon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-xhqldl_mw
Jeremy's Theme - Classical Gas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKCvYyVTJ6Q
Rococo's Theme - Birth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IB2j6qBUWsM
Arthur's Theme - The New King: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pynw4Exsvr0
Tess' Theme - Bloodstained Rose: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3X9LvC9WkkQ
Clarkov's Theme - The Snow Sage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8Ev-wurPT0
Kanako's Theme - Venerable Ancient Battlefield: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITYCfbE76ZM
Krux's Theme - Hands of Time Reunited: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-QRIaGhjn8
Lain's Theme - Pitch-Black Flame: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7loJRR9hOgg + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Npm_UDb487w
Shu's Theme - Spirit of Fire: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HAKWe9mWZQ
Richard's Theme - Blast Lab: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBUh1XzTMSg
Delta's Theme - The Shining Star: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4duurmpu8Q
Gwyn's Theme - Beginning Equation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kvqd9UPulqI
Origami's Theme - AHIH: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKZbwuwXTNY
Rago's Theme - Diablo Nemesis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9JVtBrFVgI
Sage's Theme - To Whom?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMaNTdn7Y90
Lisa's Theme - Periodic Table Rap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxSe_Zrig_g
Fuusuke's Theme - Superhuman Team Diamond Dust: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DOZ4hcwpog
Nagisa's Theme - Midnight Music Room: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2yPtY0uvmM
--------------------------------------------------
 
 
It would appear that one of the team members is now finally set to receive a therapy session of their own. Multiple of them.

                                  

With training complete and nothing else to do, Nagisa gathered some O.S.T. made back home and had everyone choose a personal theme...
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: The rest of you presumably already know of my inability to take part.]
Rococo U.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: Oh right. I'd forgotten that you're deaf and mute.]
Rago N.: That just means the rest of us will listen to our chosen OST without her.
Gwyn R.: It's none of my business, but we should find a way to allow Shizune and The Stig to experience this. I mean, Lisa and I have already figured out a way to bypass the deafness.
Nagisa I.: Really? But how?
Seiya N.: I know you two are intellectual prodigies in the conventional sense, but is that even possible?
Lisa L.: Yesh. With the help of my latest invention, we will be able to transhlate the shound of the O.Sh.T. into electronical information that will be transhmitted to the brain through theshe wiresh. It will be ash if you were lishtening to it in your head. Gwyn'sh mathematical calculationsh formed the bashish of thish technology. I am sure it will sholve the problems that come with the shircumshtancesh behind Shizune's mutenessh.
[Lisa makes it abundantly clear that she has a lisp, hence the 's' sounds being (OOC: written as) 'sh' instead. Gwyn signs Lisa's words to Shizune.]
Nagisa I.: Wow...
Julian K.: I'm meant to be the most talented person in the country, and I could never create that.
Tess D.: Looks like some of us have more free time than others.
Seiya N.: They've probably been working on this for a while now.
[Seiya glances over at The Stig, who acts as translator for Shizune when the others aren't directly conversing with her.]
Seiya N.: Still, I never would have imagined something like that was even possible.
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: If this works, then it would prove useful. Come on Origami, we need to get this sorted, follow my lead.]
[Shizune took command of the situation to Lisa's surprise and showed the rest of the team just how much of a fearsome taskmaster she can be. Gwyn was unimpressed.]
Origami T.: This attaches to your head?
Rago N.: That's what it appears to be for.
Krux H.: Can you get on with it? We don't have all day.
Shu K.: Don't rush them Krux. They know what they're doing.
Delta Z.: No scientist is immune from making mistakes. The same goes for Lisa.
[Gwyn has the urge to chime up and mention how math played a part, but decides not to. Delta notices Gwyn in his peripheral vision.]
Delta Z.: Hm?
Gwyn R.: However, there is no guarantee that it will work. This is its first use.
Eirin Y.: It's too bad, if it does disappoint.
[The rest of the team ponder which one of the geniuses out of Lisa, Gwyn and Eirin to believe.]
Arthur P.: I hope it fails. James, you agree, don't you? ...James, I command you to stop ignoring me!
James M.: I'm not convinced by that though because I think electricity is a mystery. It is. Yep. I don't actually believe in it. Nobody really understands it.
Delta Z.: You don't believe in electricity?
Richard H.: What you're witnessing here is Asperger's made real.
Futo M.: Is that the item that makes thy urine smell most hilarious?
Hyouka F.: No!
Naho S.: No, that's asparagus.
Mizore S.: I think Shizune is ready, shall I turn on the device?
Clarkov S.: I'd wait, seems to me like Lisa is in the middle of something.
The Stig: ... [Sign langauge -> Translation: Where did you appear from?]
Seiya N.: That reminds me, I have some news you'll need to hear. Zoranian queen Atsil has been sent off by her ministers to seek therapy. It seems like something you normally don't care about, but keep listening.
Delta Z.: When we saw that, we quickly realised that for all the 10-11 years of emotional and mental torment you've had to put up with over your childhood, coupled with the time you had to spend as Prime Minister because of a previous imbecilic lack of age limits (which are not in place for this team), you still haven't done the same.
Rococo U.: It's a lucky thing you never had to attend full time besides events such as the Esferiad. The country effectively ran like an absolute monarchy before that lack of limit was remedied. Anyway, what we're saying is you need to book counselling after this tournament. It'll do a great job for your wellbeing.
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: I concur. You've already been able to be your true self, but you can't shoulder recovery alone. You'll end up pushing away those who care about you. Take it from someone with experience of doing just that. You'll mentally cripple yourself if you don't seek help.]
Eirin Y.: There'll be no need for waiting. Free has already requested me to be the therapist.
Rago N.: You were the one that planned this?
Free d. l. H.: That's right. I'm not about to let Clarkov destroy themselves.
[Clarkov is in mild shock over hearing this and takes some time to process what they just heard. They simply turn to Free and nod and flash a small smile in appreciation as thanks.]
Rago N.: Sometimes your goodness annoys me.
Rococo U.: So that's settled. Don't worry, Snow Sage, you'll benefit from this. Lisa, we're all set, right? Let's kick off!
[Lisa attaches the device to Shizune's head and the OST list begins. Along the way, everyone wonders what the words in some of the themes are. They chalk them off as the H&J equivalent of "Ominous Marcarian Chanting". Even when it clearly wasn't. Some also get creeped out by a few of the choices. Most notably was the often ridiculous names each of them had chosen for the OST.]
--------------------------------------------------
Julian's Theme - Emperor Konstantinov: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWKbi13wE54
Shizune's Theme - The Student Council: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2eWjPEA8Sc
James' Theme - Big Ideas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt1PVYiHr6o
Free's Theme - Golden God: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBxsZSckvO0
Mizore's Theme - Prisoner of Passion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rJ79MYctZ4
Stig's Theme - Top Gear: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwX-KS1816c
Lits' Theme - Another Beginning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kAM42Z9gd4
Seiya's Theme - A Heated Battle With Lunar Prime: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjZgR4FPfzg
Promestein's Theme - Promestein 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHrftVDITso
Gankyou's Theme - Violence Competition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15X7QsyJMAs
Hyouka's Theme - Another Face: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BERBNmUesOM
Damian's Theme - Gates of Hell: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6syedhzF_U
Naho's Theme - Solitude of Frenzy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3m2i5vKVvRk
Faust's Theme - Twisted Tempo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5ybfMqA7uk
Futo's Theme - Legend of the Great Gods: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POUxrKNkbA4
Eirin's Theme - History of the Moon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-xhqldl_mw
Jeremy's Theme - Classical Gas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKCvYyVTJ6Q
Rococo's Theme - Birth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IB2j6qBUWsM
Arthur's Theme - The New King: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pynw4Exsvr0
Tess' Theme - Bloodstained Rose: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3X9LvC9WkkQ
Clarkov's Theme - The Snow Sage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8Ev-wurPT0
Kanako's Theme - Venerable Ancient Battlefield: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITYCfbE76ZM
Krux's Theme - Hands of Time Reunited: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-QRIaGhjn8
Lain's Theme - Pitch-Black Flame: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7loJRR9hOgg + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Npm_UDb487w
Shu's Theme - Spirit of Fire: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HAKWe9mWZQ
Richard's Theme - Blast Lab: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBUh1XzTMSg
Delta's Theme - The Shining Star: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4duurmpu8Q
Gwyn's Theme - Beginning Equation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kvqd9UPulqI
Origami's Theme - AHIH: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKZbwuwXTNY
Rago's Theme - Diablo Nemesis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9JVtBrFVgI
Sage's Theme - To Whom?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMaNTdn7Y90
Lisa's Theme - Periodic Table Rap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxSe_Zrig_g
Fuusuke's Theme - Superhuman Team Diamond Dust: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DOZ4hcwpog
Nagisa's Theme - Midnight Music Room: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2yPtY0uvmM
--------------------------------------------------
 
 
It would appear that one of the team members is now finally set to receive a therapy session of their own. Multiple of them.

                                  

With training complete and nothing else to do, Nagisa gathered some O.S.T. made back home and had everyone choose a personal theme...
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: The rest of you presumably already know of my inability to take part.]
Rococo U.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: Oh right. I'd forgotten that you're deaf and mute.]
Rago N.: That just means the rest of us will listen to our chosen OST without her.
Gwyn R.: It's none of my business, but we should find a way to allow Shizune and The Stig to experience this. I mean, Lisa and I have already figured out a way to bypass the deafness.
Nagisa I.: Really? But how?
Seiya N.: I know you two are intellectual prodigies in the conventional sense, but is that even possible?
Lisa L.: Yesh. With the help of my latest invention, we will be able to transhlate the shound of the O.Sh.T. into electronical information that will be transhmitted to the brain through theshe wiresh. It will be ash if you were lishtening to it in your head. Gwyn'sh mathematical calculationsh formed the bashish of thish technology. I am sure it will sholve the problems that come with the shircumshtancesh behind Shizune's mutenessh.
[Lisa makes it abundantly clear that she has a lisp, hence the 's' sounds being (OOC: written as) 'sh' instead. Gwyn signs Lisa's words to Shizune.]
Nagisa I.: Wow...
Julian K.: I'm meant to be the most talented person in the country, and I could never create that.
Tess D.: Looks like some of us have more free time than others.
Seiya N.: They've probably been working on this for a while now.
[Seiya glances over at The Stig, who acts as translator for Shizune when the others aren't directly conversing with her.]
Seiya N.: Still, I never would have imagined something like that was even possible.
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: If this works, then it would prove useful. Come on Origami, we need to get this sorted, follow my lead.]
[Shizune took command of the situation to Lisa's surprise and showed the rest of the team just how much of a fearsome taskmaster she can be. Gwyn was unimpressed.]
Origami T.: This attaches to your head?
Rago N.: That's what it appears to be for.
Krux H.: Can you get on with it? We don't have all day.
Shu K.: Don't rush them Krux. They know what they're doing.
Delta Z.: No scientist is immune from making mistakes. The same goes for Lisa.
[Gwyn has the urge to chime up and mention how math played a part, but decides not to. Delta notices Gwyn in his peripheral vision.]
Delta Z.: Hm?
Gwyn R.: However, there is no guarantee that it will work. This is its first use.
Eirin Y.: It's too bad, if it does disappoint.
[The rest of the team ponder which one of the geniuses out of Lisa, Gwyn and Eirin to believe.]
Arthur P.: I hope it fails. James, you agree, don't you? ...James, I command you to stop ignoring me!
James M.: I'm not convinced by that though because I think electricity is a mystery. It is. Yep. I don't actually believe in it. Nobody really understands it.
Delta Z.: You don't believe in electricity?
Richard H.: What you're witnessing here is Asperger's made real.
Futo M.: Is that the item that makes thy urine smell most hilarious?
Hyouka F.: No!
Naho S.: No, that's asparagus.
Mizore S.: I think Shizune is ready, shall I turn on the device?
Clarkov S.: I'd wait, seems to me like Lisa is in the middle of something.
The Stig: ... [Sign langauge -> Translation: Where did you appear from?]
Seiya N.: That reminds me, I have some news you'll need to hear. Zoranian queen Atsil has been sent off by her ministers to seek therapy. It seems like something you normally don't care about, but keep listening.
Delta Z.: When we saw that, we quickly realised that for all the 10-11 years of emotional and mental torment you've had to put up with over your childhood, coupled with the time you had to spend as Prime Minister because of a previous imbecilic lack of age limits (which are not in place for this team), you still haven't done the same.
Rococo U.: It's a lucky thing you never had to attend full time besides events such as the Esferiad. The country effectively ran like an absolute monarchy before that lack of limit was remedied. Anyway, what we're saying is you need to book counselling after this tournament. It'll do a great job for your wellbeing.
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: I concur. You've already been able to be your true self, but you can't shoulder recovery alone. You'll end up pushing away those who care about you. Take it from someone with experience of doing just that. You'll mentally cripple yourself if you don't seek help.]
Eirin Y.: There'll be no need for waiting. Free has already requested me to be the therapist.
Rago N.: You were the one that planned this?
Free d. l. H.: That's right. I'm not about to let Clarkov destroy themselves.
[Clarkov is in mild shock over hearing this and takes some time to process what they just heard. They simply turn to Free and nod and flash a small smile in appreciation as thanks.]
Rago N.: Sometimes your goodness annoys me.
Rococo U.: So that's settled. Don't worry, Snow Sage, you'll benefit from this. Lisa, we're all set, right? Let's kick off!
[Lisa attaches the device to Shizune's head and the OST list begins. Along the way, everyone wonders what the words in some of the themes are. They chalk them off as the H&J equivalent of "Ominous Marcarian Chanting". Even when it clearly wasn't. Some also get creeped out by a few of the choices. Most notably was the often ridiculous names each of them had chosen for the OST.]
--------------------------------------------------
Julian's Theme - Emperor Konstantinov: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWKbi13wE54
Shizune's Theme - The Student Council: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2eWjPEA8Sc
James' Theme - Big Ideas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt1PVYiHr6o
Free's Theme - Golden God: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBxsZSckvO0
Mizore's Theme - Prisoner of Passion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rJ79MYctZ4
Stig's Theme - Top Gear: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwX-KS1816c
Lits' Theme - Another Beginning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kAM42Z9gd4
Seiya's Theme - A Heated Battle With Lunar Prime: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjZgR4FPfzg
Promestein's Theme - Promestein 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHrftVDITso
Gankyou's Theme - Violence Competition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15X7QsyJMAs
Hyouka's Theme - Another Face: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BERBNmUesOM
Damian's Theme - Gates of Hell: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6syedhzF_U
Naho's Theme - Solitude of Frenzy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3m2i5vKVvRk
Faust's Theme - Twisted Tempo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5ybfMqA7uk
Futo's Theme - Legend of the Great Gods: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POUxrKNkbA4
Eirin's Theme - History of the Moon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-xhqldl_mw
Jeremy's Theme - Classical Gas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKCvYyVTJ6Q
Rococo's Theme - Birth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IB2j6qBUWsM
Arthur's Theme - The New King: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pynw4Exsvr0
Tess' Theme - Bloodstained Rose: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3X9LvC9WkkQ
Clarkov's Theme - The Snow Sage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8Ev-wurPT0
Kanako's Theme - Venerable Ancient Battlefield: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITYCfbE76ZM
Krux's Theme - Hands of Time Reunited: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-QRIaGhjn8
Lain's Theme - Pitch-Black Flame: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7loJRR9hOgg + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Npm_UDb487w
Shu's Theme - Spirit of Fire: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HAKWe9mWZQ
Richard's Theme - Blast Lab: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBUh1XzTMSg
Delta's Theme - The Shining Star: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4duurmpu8Q
Gwyn's Theme - Beginning Equation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kvqd9UPulqI
Origami's Theme - AHIH: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKZbwuwXTNY
Rago's Theme - Diablo Nemesis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9JVtBrFVgI
Sage's Theme - To Whom?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMaNTdn7Y90
Lisa's Theme - Periodic Table Rap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxSe_Zrig_g
Fuusuke's Theme - Superhuman Team Diamond Dust: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DOZ4hcwpog
Nagisa's Theme - Midnight Music Room: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2yPtY0uvmM
--------------------------------------------------
 
 
It would appear that one of the team members is now finally set to receive a therapy session of their own. Multiple of them.

                                  

With training complete and nothing else to do, Nagisa gathered some O.S.T. made back home and had everyone choose a personal theme...
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: The rest of you presumably already know of my inability to take part.]
Rococo U.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: Oh right. I'd forgotten that you're deaf and mute.]
Rago N.: That just means the rest of us will listen to our chosen OST without her.
Gwyn R.: It's none of my business, but we should find a way to allow Shizune and The Stig to experience this. I mean, Lisa and I have already figured out a way to bypass the deafness.
Nagisa I.: Really? But how?
Seiya N.: I know you two are intellectual prodigies in the conventional sense, but is that even possible?
Lisa L.: Yesh. With the help of my latest invention, we will be able to transhlate the shound of the O.Sh.T. into electronical information that will be transhmitted to the brain through theshe wiresh. It will be ash if you were lishtening to it in your head. Gwyn'sh mathematical calculationsh formed the bashish of thish technology. I am sure it will sholve the problems that come with the shircumshtancesh behind Shizune's mutenessh.
[Lisa makes it abundantly clear that she has a lisp, hence the 's' sounds being (OOC: written as) 'sh' instead. Gwyn signs Lisa's words to Shizune.]
Nagisa I.: Wow...
Julian K.: I'm meant to be the most talented person in the country, and I could never create that.
Tess D.: Looks like some of us have more free time than others.
Seiya N.: They've probably been working on this for a while now.
[Seiya glances over at The Stig, who acts as translator for Shizune when the others aren't directly conversing with her.]
Seiya N.: Still, I never would have imagined something like that was even possible.
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: If this works, then it would prove useful. Come on Origami, we need to get this sorted, follow my lead.]
[Shizune took command of the situation to Lisa's surprise and showed the rest of the team just how much of a fearsome taskmaster she can be. Gwyn was unimpressed.]
Origami T.: This attaches to your head?
Rago N.: That's what it appears to be for.
Krux H.: Can you get on with it? We don't have all day.
Shu K.: Don't rush them Krux. They know what they're doing.
Delta Z.: No scientist is immune from making mistakes. The same goes for Lisa.
[Gwyn has the urge to chime up and mention how math played a part, but decides not to. Delta notices Gwyn in his peripheral vision.]
Delta Z.: Hm?
Gwyn R.: However, there is no guarantee that it will work. This is its first use.
Eirin Y.: It's too bad, if it does disappoint.
[The rest of the team ponder which one of the geniuses out of Lisa, Gwyn and Eirin to believe.]
Arthur P.: I hope it fails. James, you agree, don't you? ...James, I command you to stop ignoring me!
James M.: I'm not convinced by that though because I think electricity is a mystery. It is. Yep. I don't actually believe in it. Nobody really understands it.
Delta Z.: You don't believe in electricity?
Richard H.: What you're witnessing here is Asperger's made real.
Futo M.: Is that the item that makes thy urine smell most hilarious?
Hyouka F.: No!
Naho S.: No, that's asparagus.
Mizore S.: I think Shizune is ready, shall I turn on the device?
Clarkov S.: I'd wait, seems to me like Lisa is in the middle of something.
The Stig: ... [Sign langauge -> Translation: Where did you appear from?]
Seiya N.: That reminds me, I have some news you'll need to hear. Zoranian queen Atsil has been sent off by her ministers to seek therapy. It seems like something you normally don't care about, but keep listening.
Delta Z.: When we saw that, we quickly realised that for all the 10-11 years of emotional and mental torment you've had to put up with over your childhood, coupled with the time you had to spend as Prime Minister because of a previous imbecilic lack of age limits (which are not in place for this team), you still haven't done the same.
Rococo U.: It's a lucky thing you never had to attend full time besides events such as the Esferiad. The country effectively ran like an absolute monarchy before that lack of limit was remedied. Anyway, what we're saying is you need to book counselling after this tournament. It'll do a great job for your wellbeing.
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: I concur. You've already been able to be your true self, but you can't shoulder recovery alone. You'll end up pushing away those who care about you. Take it from someone with experience of doing just that. You'll mentally cripple yourself if you don't seek help.]
Eirin Y.: There'll be no need for waiting. Free has already requested me to be the therapist.
Rago N.: You were the one that planned this?
Free d. l. H.: That's right. I'm not about to let Clarkov destroy themselves.
[Clarkov is in mild shock over hearing this and takes some time to process what they just heard. They simply turn to Free and nod and flash a small smile in appreciation as thanks.]
Rago N.: Sometimes your goodness annoys me.
Rococo U.: So that's settled. Don't worry, Snow Sage, you'll benefit from this. Lisa, we're all set, right? Let's kick off!
[Lisa attaches the device to Shizune's head and the OST list begins. Along the way, everyone wonders what the words in some of the themes are. They chalk them off as the H&J equivalent of "Ominous Marcarian Chanting". Even when it clearly wasn't. Some also get creeped out by a few of the choices. Most notably was the often ridiculous names each of them had chosen for the OST.]
--------------------------------------------------
Julian's Theme - Emperor Konstantinov: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWKbi13wE54
Shizune's Theme - The Student Council: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2eWjPEA8Sc
James' Theme - Big Ideas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt1PVYiHr6o
Free's Theme - Golden God: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBxsZSckvO0
Mizore's Theme - Prisoner of Passion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rJ79MYctZ4
Stig's Theme - Top Gear: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwX-KS1816c
Lits' Theme - Another Beginning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kAM42Z9gd4
Seiya's Theme - A Heated Battle With Lunar Prime: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjZgR4FPfzg
Promestein's Theme - Promestein 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHrftVDITso
Gankyou's Theme - Violence Competition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15X7QsyJMAs
Hyouka's Theme - Another Face: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BERBNmUesOM
Damian's Theme - Gates of Hell: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6syedhzF_U
Naho's Theme - Solitude of Frenzy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3m2i5vKVvRk
Faust's Theme - Twisted Tempo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5ybfMqA7uk
Futo's Theme - Legend of the Great Gods: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POUxrKNkbA4
Eirin's Theme - History of the Moon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-xhqldl_mw
Jeremy's Theme - Classical Gas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKCvYyVTJ6Q
Rococo's Theme - Birth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IB2j6qBUWsM
Arthur's Theme - The New King: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pynw4Exsvr0
Tess' Theme - Bloodstained Rose: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3X9LvC9WkkQ
Clarkov's Theme - The Snow Sage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8Ev-wurPT0
Kanako's Theme - Venerable Ancient Battlefield: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITYCfbE76ZM
Krux's Theme - Hands of Time Reunited: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-QRIaGhjn8
Lain's Theme - Pitch-Black Flame: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7loJRR9hOgg + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Npm_UDb487w
Shu's Theme - Spirit of Fire: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HAKWe9mWZQ
Richard's Theme - Blast Lab: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBUh1XzTMSg
Delta's Theme - The Shining Star: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4duurmpu8Q
Gwyn's Theme - Beginning Equation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kvqd9UPulqI
Origami's Theme - AHIH: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKZbwuwXTNY
Rago's Theme - Diablo Nemesis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9JVtBrFVgI
Sage's Theme - To Whom?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMaNTdn7Y90
Lisa's Theme - Periodic Table Rap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxSe_Zrig_g
Fuusuke's Theme - Superhuman Team Diamond Dust: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DOZ4hcwpog
Nagisa's Theme - Midnight Music Room: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2yPtY0uvmM
--------------------------------------------------
 
 
It would appear that one of the team members is now finally set to receive a therapy session of their own. Multiple of them.

                                  

Prior to the final group stage match against Sekiya, the trio decided to discuss a few things with no clear structure...
Jeremy Clarkson: I've noticed that a couple of dates on the HNDRJ score boards are incorrect.
Richard Hammond: I'm sure it won't matter too much.
Jeremy Clarkson: Right, I've seen this image of what looks like penguins in military uniform.

The Hertmerian War Penguins. Disclaimer: These are not an existing part of the Hertfordian military. Probably.
Richard Hammond: You're right. I think they could be part of the H&J armed forces.
Jeremy Clarkson: Penguins don't exist in Hertfordshire and Jammbo.
Richard Hammond: Well, not that we know of. So James, want to discuss the war penguins?
James May: Well actually I'll discuss the war penguins in a minute 'cause first I want to say a couple more things about the car you attached a log to. You see, you said there that it was like a slab of old Hertfordia.
Jeremy Clarkson: Yes.
James May: But, Blencathra is owned by Piplar.
Jeremy Clarkson: Yes.
James May: That log was probably styled in a gulag and the car was engineered by a man called Yaroslav Tytarenko. Doesn't sound very Hertfordian.
Jeremy Clarkson: Are you joining us here or are you writing a letter to the Daily Diamond?
James May: Well, I'm just saying that you know immediately that that log is Dalimbari 'cause it had too much power when it smashed your window. They've overdone it, as usual... like they did on their Fujansk holiday in 1309.
[Hammond winces.]
Jeremy Clarkson: James! James, our language script is the same as theirs, but you don't say "Vashe Dorov'ye! Urra Dalimbar!" whenever Free State Television comes on the television, do you?
James May: Well I do actually.
Richard Hammond: Yeah he does.
[Clarkson quietly laughs.]
Richard Hammond: He does.
Jeremy Clarkson: So there we are.
James May: Can I just say something?
Jeremy Clarkson: What?
James May: Before we go on, is that actually a picture of real penguins?
[Clarkson is baffled that May has actually asked that question.]
Richard Hammond: Seriously?
Jeremy Clarkson: Forgetting, well, that, I received an email from the Tsar about a message sent from him to the Marshall of this country. Mecislavs has allowed us to share it with you viewing this through the phone camera that the Stig is holding up.
James May: What happened to Kilt Stig?
Jeremy Clarkson: Apparently they went back to Cambria.
Richard Hammond: Can we see the letter then?
Jeremy Clarkson: Here you go.
[Clarkson, Hammond and May look at the letter and summarily burst into various degrees of laughter after finishing it.]
James May: I really want to overthrow the junta.
Richard Hammond: You're gonna get a knock on your door in the morning and two big blokes in a black car outside.
Jeremy Clarkson: "Okay, I'm sliding toward the circular saw, Dalimbar is the only civilised nation in Esferos, turn it off! Turn it off!"
Richard Hammond: "I love Briand's leadership, now release me from the gulag!" I- it's... it's scary.
Jeremy Clarkson: It is and I will get him to post it on the intranet.
[Clarkson points at May.]
Richard Hammond: Yes you can do that one.
James May: No- yeah, but it's n- I don't really like Marshall Briand though actually.
Richard Hammond: Okay, f-fair enough.
Jeremy Clarkson: Oorh.
[May quizzically eyes Clarkson and Hammond.]
Jeremy Clarkson: The LATE James May there, making one of his, uh, final remarks.
Richard Hammond: Don't answer the door.

The letter that the Tsar had sent. The image he spoke of was a collage made by H&J natives of two double-headed eagles - one navy blue with swords, one black and lavender purple with two crowns - facing each-other off. More accurately, the black and lavender purple double-headed eagle was mauling the navy blue double-headed eagle.
It's not often that the Tsar themselves gets involved. They clearly enjoyed themselves enough to allow a leak of it by the trio.