Magica De Spell

The horrified clause is essentially something that'd need a GenSec ruling (which generally obligates posting on the NS GA forum) I think. It's asserting obvously that the resolution contains no enforcement mechanisms, which may or may not be an honest mistake in that resolutions may or may not need to set up any specific ones (as opposed to just assuming the WA will take of it and monitor it). That is, I don't really think I can give a safe opinion on the legality of that clause that you could depend on.

Per the request of Badger, some notes:
- Nearly everything here appears to be legal (with the possible exception of the treaty name there, but that'd be a mod ruling more), 'game created region' is an illegal term under R4.
- "in the feeder region" is a bit unnecessary, as in theory work in any suitably large region can be worthy of a C&C. Comma is unneeded there either way.
- Clauses should generally end as if the entire resolution is a giant run-on sentence, usually meaning all lines not in a list end with a comma, semicolon, or colon (in the case of lists)
- Otherwise, the basic needs to make this a successful proposal is detailing the accomplishments already summarized (like, what did Saint Mark do as MoFA, or what actual positions did they hold in Osiris, Albion, and TSR) and explaining why those things matter in some cases (for example, why does it matter that NSToday said they were one of the most influential nations?)
 
In general, an excellent first attempt, especially with the almost entirely legal nature, that's rarer to get on a first draft of a first attempt.

Per Badger's request for for my expertise, some notes:
- The only possible illegality I see is that the horrified clause may constitute an honest mistake (telling mistruths about the target, in this case about enforcement, since that may be assumed by being a passed resolution). It'd be borderline generally I think, but I don't know which way GenSec would rule on it.
- The line of "requiring considerable time, effort, and resources of each government" is essentially redundant to the overall clause, I'd suggest removing it.
- Using words like 'also' and 'further' in your clause beginnings reads rather oddly if you haven't previously used the second word as a clause starter. It'd probably make sense to drop the 'also' and the 'further' in such cases.
 
In general, excellent draft. The one potential illegality is honestly outside my ken, but everything else is great (I disagree with some of the arguments, but that's to be expected given my personal inclinations on the GA, lol).

Per Badger's request for for my expertise, some notes:
- The only possible illegality I see is that the horrified clause may constitute an honest mistake (telling mistruths about the target, in this case about enforcement, since that may be assumed by being a passed resolution). It'd be borderline generally I think, but I don't know which way GenSec would rule on it.
- The line of "requiring considerable time, effort, and resources of each government" is essentially redundant to the overall clause, I'd suggest removing it.
- Using words like 'also' and 'further' in your clause beginnings reads rather oddly if you haven't previously used the second word as a clause starter. It'd probably make sense to drop the 'also' and the 'further' in such cases.
 
In general, excellent draft. The one potential illegality is honestly outside my ken, but everything else is great (I disagree with some of the arguments, but that's to be expected given my personal inclinations on the GA, lol).

Per the request of Badger, some notes:
- Nearly everything here appears to be legal (with the possible exception of the treaty name there, but that'd be a mod ruling more), 'game created region' is an illegal term under R4.
- "in the feeder region" is a bit unnecessary, as in theory work in any suitably large region can be worthy of a C&C. Comma is unneeded there either way.
- Clauses should generally end as if the entire resolution is a giant run-on sentence, usually meaning all lines not in a list end with a comma, semicolon, or colon (in the case of lists)
- Otherwise, the basic needs to make this a successful proposal is detailing the accomplishments already summarized (like, what did Saint Mark do as MoFA, or what actual positions did they hold in Osiris, Albion, and TSR) and explaining why those things matter in some cases (for example, why does it matter that NSToday said they were one of the most influential nations?)
 
In general, an excellent first attempt, especially with the almost entirely legal nature, that's rarer to get on a first draft of a first attempt.

Thanks Ark, we look forward to using it

Thanks Ark, we look forward to using it