Clarkov

Despite the fact that this was a rugby tournament in the homeland of rugby itself, all eyes were currently on a bunch of flying things...
Seiya N.: I never would have imagined a nation like Zoran being willing to do this.
Faust H.: Do what? I was out looking for Tempo.
Fuusuke S.: I assume you managed to find it.
Naho S.: To catch you up Faust, the Zoranians have decided to sell a collection of aircraft in weapons sales to Kalmach in their war effort against Garahun.
James M.: Now all the other members of this tournament are talking about it.
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: The Astorian nations have been particularly vocal in their opposition.]
Kanako Y.: Atsil has defended the decision by claiming that Zoran needs to be self-reliant.
Nagisa I.: You can guess how well Nieubasria took that, Faust.
Rago N.: Huh? Why do you care?!
Hyouka F.: We don't.
Futo M.: I do.
Naho S.: You're in the minority then.
Jeremy C.: A minority of 1.
Damian H.: That filthy Nur-based country is not where my caring belongs.
Lisa L.: Harsh on Kalmach, much?
James M.: It's Damian, should we expect anything other than disdain?
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: That doesn't make it right!]
Richard H.: Yeah, but we still don't care.
Mizore S.: Wait for us to care all day if you want to, it won't happen.
Arthur P.: I'm not waiting all day.
Lisa L.: It was a figure of speech.
Sage R.: Shouldn't we be focusing on the match against Sekiya? I've been researching ways to get stronger.
Free d. l. H.: You don't get stronger by accepting how everyone else does things. You get stronger by finding your own path. That's how champions are made.
Futo M.: We used to be champions, but those days art concluded.
Nagisa I.: Hey, Futo. If you think like that, everyone will be capable of getting in your way.
Origami T.: Soon, it will be our time.
Futo M.: Doth thou think we can pull it off?
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: This team isn't called Star Breaker for nothing.]
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: You're not alone in this feeling, and it isn't strange. But that damaged mindset won't do us any favours.]
Damian H.: If you sign so.
Kanako Y.: This tournament is not for the dread of Hall of Dreams adherents. It is meant as a home for the gods of sport.
Nagisa I.: This is kind of annoying, I want to make it so the Sekiya team can't play anymore!
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: Now I'm remembering what I saw on CCTV back home.]
Eirin Y.: Before anyone asks, I was already aware of the footage The Stig is referencing. Uh, Lain, are you okay?
[Lain has flashbacks to the matches against Dalimbar and Larxia]
Lain V.: ...What is this? Why do I feel this way?!
Seiya N.: Lain is almost at border point. He's experiencing an inner desire to battle strong opponents, especially historical rivals Dalimbar and local rivals Larxia. Let's leave him alone for now. When we next see him, he'll have tapped into a new level of power.
The team did as Seiya suggested and left Lain to it. Although he denied it bizarrely claiming that those teams don't know what it's like to have a metaphorical thirst, even the Pitch-Black Flame was starting to enjoy battling two very specific national rivals.
Half-Time | HEJ  7-??? TER | Half-Time

                                  

Prior to the final group stage match against Sekiya, the trio decided to discuss a few things with no clear structure...
Jeremy Clarkson: I've noticed that a couple of dates on the HNDRJ score boards are incorrect.
Richard Hammond: I'm sure it won't matter too much.
Jeremy Clarkson: Right, I've seen this image of what looks like penguins in military uniform.

The Hertmerian War Penguins. Disclaimer: These are not an existing part of the Hertfordian military. Probably.
Richard Hammond: You're right. I think they could be part of the H&J armed forces.
Jeremy Clarkson: Penguins don't exist in Hertfordshire and Jammbo.
Richard Hammond: Well, not that we know of. So James, want to discuss the war penguins?
James May: Well actually I'll discuss the war penguins in a minute 'cause first I want to say a couple more things about the car you attached a log to. You see, you said there that it was like a slab of old Hertfordia.
Jeremy Clarkson: Yes.
James May: But, Blencathra is owned by Piplar.
Jeremy Clarkson: Yes.
James May: That log was probably styled in a gulag and the car was engineered by a man called Yaroslav Tytarenko. Doesn't sound very Hertfordian.
Jeremy Clarkson: Are you joining us here or are you writing a letter to the Daily Diamond?
James May: Well, I'm just saying that you know immediately that that log is Dalimbari 'cause it had too much power when it smashed your window. They've overdone it, as usual... like they did on their Fujansk holiday in 1309.
[Hammond winces.]
Jeremy Clarkson: James! James, our language script is the same as theirs, but you don't say "Vashe Dorov'ye! Urra Dalimbar!" whenever Free State Television comes on the television, do you?
James May: Well I do actually.
Richard Hammond: Yeah he does.
[Clarkson quietly laughs.]
Richard Hammond: He does.
Jeremy Clarkson: So there we are.
James May: Can I just say something?
Jeremy Clarkson: What?
James May: Before we go on, is that actually a picture of real penguins?
[Clarkson is baffled that May has actually asked that question.]
Richard Hammond: Seriously?
Jeremy Clarkson: Forgetting, well, that, I received an email from the Tsar about a message sent from him to the Marshall of this country. Mecislavs has allowed us to share it with you viewing this through the phone camera that the Stig is holding up.
James May: What happened to Kilt Stig?
Jeremy Clarkson: Apparently they went back to Cambria.
Richard Hammond: Can we see the letter then?
Jeremy Clarkson: Here you go.
[Clarkson, Hammond and May look at the letter and summarily burst into various degrees of laughter after finishing it.]
James May: I really want to overthrow the junta.
Richard Hammond: You're gonna get a knock on your door in the morning and two big blokes in a black car outside.
Jeremy Clarkson: "Okay, I'm sliding toward the circular saw, Dalimbar is the only civilised nation in Esferos, turn it off! Turn it off!"
Richard Hammond: "I love Briand's leadership, now release me from the gulag!" I- it's... it's scary.
Jeremy Clarkson: It is and I will get him to post it on the intranet.
[Clarkson points at May.]
Richard Hammond: Yes you can do that one.
James May: No- yeah, but it's n- I don't really like Marshall Briand though actually.
Richard Hammond: Okay, f-fair enough.
Jeremy Clarkson: Oorh.
[May quizzically eyes Clarkson and Hammond.]
Jeremy Clarkson: The LATE James May there, making one of his, uh, final remarks.
Richard Hammond: Don't answer the door.

The letter that the Tsar had sent. The image he spoke of was a collage made by H&J natives of two double-headed eagles - one navy blue with swords, one black and lavender purple with two crowns - facing each-other off. More accurately, the black and lavender purple double-headed eagle was mauling the navy blue double-headed eagle.
It's not often that the Tsar themselves gets involved. They clearly enjoyed themselves enough to allow a leak of it by the trio.

Prior to the final group stage match against Sekiya, the trio decided to discuss a few things with no clear structure...
Jeremy Clarkson: I've noticed that a couple of dates on the HNDRJ score boards are incorrect.
Richard Hammond: I'm sure it won't matter too much.
Jeremy Clarkson: Right, I've seen this image of what looks like penguins in military uniform.

The Hertmerian War Penguins. Disclaimer: These are not an existing part of the Hertfordian military. Probably.
Richard Hammond: You're right. I think they could be part of the H&J armed forces.
Jeremy Clarkson: Penguins don't exist in Hertfordshire and Jammbo.
Richard Hammond: Well, not that we know of. So James, want to discuss the war penguins?
James May: Well actually I'll discuss the war penguins in a minute 'cause first I want to say a couple more things about the car you attached a log to. You see, you said there that it was like a slab of old Hertfordia.
Jeremy Clarkson: Yes.
James May: But, Blencathra is owned by Piplar.
Jeremy Clarkson: Yes.
James May: That log was probably styled in a gulag and the car was engineered by a man called Yaroslav Tytarenko. Doesn't sound very Hertfordian.
Jeremy Clarkson: Are you joining us here or are you writing a letter to the Daily Diamond?
James May: Well, I'm just saying that you know immediately that that log is Dalimbari 'cause it had too much power when it smashed your window. They've overdone it, as usual... like they did on their Fujansk holiday in 1309.
[Hammond winces.]
Jeremy Clarkson: James! James, our language script is the same as theirs, but you don't say "Vashe Dorov'ye! Urra Dalimbar!" whenever Free State Television comes on the television, do you?
James May: Well I do actually.
Richard Hammond: Yeah he does.
[Clarkson quietly laughs.]
Richard Hammond: He does.
Jeremy Clarkson: So there we are.
James May: Can I just say something?
Jeremy Clarkson: What?
James May: Before we go on, is that actually a picture of real penguins?
[Clarkson is baffled that May has actually asked that question.]
Richard Hammond: Seriously?
Jeremy Clarkson: Forgetting, well, that, I received an email from the Tsar about a message sent from him to the Marshall of this country. Mecislavs has allowed us to share it with you viewing this through the phone camera that the Stig is holding up.
James May: What happened to Kilt Stig?
Jeremy Clarkson: Apparently they went back to Cambria.
Richard Hammond: Can we see the letter then?
Jeremy Clarkson: Here you go.
[Clarkson, Hammond and May look at the letter and summarily burst into various degrees of laughter after finishing it.]
James May: I really want to overthrow the junta.
Richard Hammond: You're gonna get a knock on your door in the morning and two big blokes in a black car outside.
Jeremy Clarkson: "Okay, I'm sliding toward the circular saw, Dalimbar is the only civilised nation in Esferos, turn it off! Turn it off!"
Richard Hammond: "I love Briand's leadership, now release me from the gulag!" I- it's... it's scary.
Jeremy Clarkson: It is and I will get him to post it on the intranet.
[Clarkson points at May.]
Richard Hammond: Yes you can do that one.
James May: No- yeah, but it's n- I don't really like Marshall Briand though actually.
Richard Hammond: Okay, f-fair enough.
Jeremy Clarkson: Oorh.
[May quizzically eyes Clarkson and Hammond.]
Jeremy Clarkson: The LATE James May there, making one of his, uh, final remarks.
Richard Hammond: Don't answer the door.

The letter that the Tsar had sent. The image he spoke of was a collage made by H&J natives of two double-headed eagles - one navy blue with swords, one black and lavender purple with two crowns - facing each-other off. More accurately, the black and lavender purple double-headed eagle was mauling the navy blue double-headed eagle.
It's not often that the Tsar themselves gets involved. They clearly enjoyed themselves enough to allow a leak of it by the trio.

Prior to the final group stage match against Sekiya, the trio decided to discuss a few things with no clear structure...
Jeremy Clarkson: I've noticed that a couple of dates on the HNDRJ score boards are incorrect.
Richard Hammond: I'm sure it won't matter too much.
Jeremy Clarkson: Right, I've seen this image of what looks like penguins in military uniform.

The Hertmerian War Penguins. Disclaimer: These are not an existing part of the Hertfordian military. Probably.
Richard Hammond: You're right. I think they could be part of the H&J armed forces.
Jeremy Clarkson: Penguins don't exist in Hertfordshire and Jammbo.
Richard Hammond: Well, not that we know of. So James, want to discuss the war penguins?
James May: Well actually I'll discuss the war penguins in a minute 'cause first I want to say a couple more things about the car you attached a log to. You see, you said there that it was like a slab of old Hertfordia.
Jeremy Clarkson: Yes.
James May: But, Blencathra is owned by Piplar.
Jeremy Clarkson: Yes.
James May: That log was probably styled in a gulag and the car was engineered by a man called Yaroslav Tytarenko. Doesn't sound very Hertfordian.
Jeremy Clarkson: Are you joining us here or are you writing a letter to the Daily Diamond?
James May: Well, I'm just saying that you know immediately that that log is Dalimbari 'cause it had too much power when it smashed your window. They've overdone it, as usual... like they did on their Fujansk holiday in 1309.
[Hammond winces.]
Jeremy Clarkson: James! James, our language script is the same as theirs, but you don't say "Vashe Dorov'ye! Urra Dalimbar!" whenever Free State Television comes on the television, do you?
James May: Well I do actually.
Richard Hammond: Yeah he does.
[Clarkson quietly laughs.]
Richard Hammond: He does.
Jeremy Clarkson: So there we are.
James May: Can I just say something?
Jeremy Clarkson: What?
James May: Before we go on, is that actually a picture of real penguins?
[Clarkson is baffled that May has actually asked that question.]
Richard Hammond: Seriously?
Jeremy Clarkson: Forgetting, well, that, I received an email from the Tsar about a message sent from him to the Marshall of this country. Mecislavs has allowed us to share it with you viewing this through the phone camera that the Stig is holding up.
James May: What happened to Kilt Stig?
Jeremy Clarkson: Apparently they went back to Cambria.
Richard Hammond: Can we see the letter then?
Jeremy Clarkson: Here you go.
[Clarkson, Hammond and May look at the letter and summarily burst into various degrees of laughter after finishing it.]
James May: I really want to overthrow the junta.
Richard Hammond: You're gonna get a knock on your door in the morning and two big blokes in a black car outside.
Jeremy Clarkson: "Okay, I'm sliding toward the circular saw, Dalimbar is the only civilised nation in Esferos, turn it off! Turn it off!"
Richard Hammond: "I love Briand's leadership, now release me from the gulag!" I- it's... it's scary.
Jeremy Clarkson: It is and I will get him to post it on the intranet.
[Clarkson points at May.]
Richard Hammond: Yes you can do that one.
James May: No- yeah, but it's n- I don't really like Marshall Briand though actually.
Richard Hammond: Okay, f-fair enough.
Jeremy Clarkson: Oorh.
[May quizzically eyes Clarkson and Hammond.]
Jeremy Clarkson: The LATE James May there, making one of his, uh, final remarks.
Richard Hammond: Don't answer the door.

The letter that the Tsar had sent. The image he spoke of was a collage made by H&J natives of two double-headed eagles - one navy blue with swords, one black and lavender purple with two crowns - facing each-other off. More accurately, the black and lavender purple double-headed eagle was mauling the navy blue double-headed eagle.
It's not often that the Tsar themselves gets involved. They clearly enjoyed themselves enough to allow a leak of it by the trio.

Prior to the final group stage match against Sekiya, the trio decided to discuss a few things with no clear structure...
Jeremy Clarkson: I've noticed that a couple of dates on the HNDRJ score boards are incorrect.
Richard Hammond: I'm sure it won't matter too much.
Jeremy Clarkson: Right, I've seen this image of what looks like penguins in military uniform.

The Hertmerian War Penguins. Disclaimer: These are not an existing part of the Hertfordian military. Probably.
Richard Hammond: You're right. I think they could be part of the H&J armed forces.
Jeremy Clarkson: Penguins don't exist in Hertfordshire and Jammbo.
Richard Hammond: Well, not that we know of. So James, want to discuss the war penguins?
James May: Well actually I'll discuss the war penguins in a minute 'cause first I want to say a couple more things about the car you attached a log to. You see, you said there that it was like a slab of old Hertfordia.
Jeremy Clarkson: Yes.
James May: But, Blencathra is owned by Piplar.
Jeremy Clarkson: Yes.
James May: That log was probably styled in a gulag and the car was engineered by a man called Yaroslav Tytarenko. Doesn't sound very Hertfordian.
Jeremy Clarkson: Are you joining us here or are you writing a letter to the Daily Diamond?
James May: Well, I'm just saying that you know immediately that that log is Dalimbari 'cause it had too much power when it smashed your window. They've overdone it, as usual... like they did on their Fujansk holiday in 1309.
[Hammond winces.]
Jeremy Clarkson: James! James, our language script is the same as theirs, but you don't say "Vashe Dorov'ye! Urra Dalimbar!" whenever Free State Television comes on the television, do you?
James May: Well I do actually.
Richard Hammond: Yeah he does.
[Clarkson quietly laughs.]
Richard Hammond: He does.
Jeremy Clarkson: So there we are.
James May: Can I just say something?
Jeremy Clarkson: What?
James May: Before we go on, is that actually a picture of real penguins?
[Clarkson is baffled that May has actually asked that question.]
Richard Hammond: Seriously?
Jeremy Clarkson: Forgetting, well, that, I received an email from the Tsar about a message sent from him to the Marshall of this country. Mecislavs has allowed us to share it with you viewing this through the phone camera that the Stig is holding up.
James May: What happened to Kilt Stig?
Jeremy Clarkson: Apparently they went back to Cambria.
Richard Hammond: Can we see the letter then?
Jeremy Clarkson: Here you go.
[Clarkson, Hammond and May look at the letter and summarily burst into various degrees of laughter after finishing it.]
James May: I really want to overthrow the junta.
Richard Hammond: You're gonna get a knock on your door in the morning and two big blokes in a black car outside.
Jeremy Clarkson: "Okay, I'm sliding toward the circular saw, Dalimbar is the only civilised nation in Esferos, turn it off! Turn it off!"
Richard Hammond: "I love Briand's leadership, now release me from the gulag!" I- it's... it's scary.
Jeremy Clarkson: It is and I will get him to post it on the intranet.
[Clarkson points at May.]
Richard Hammond: Yes you can do that one.
James May: No- yeah, but it's n- I don't really like Marshall Briand though actually.
Richard Hammond: Okay, f-fair enough.
Jeremy Clarkson: Oorh.
[May quizzically eyes Clarkson and Hammond.]
Jeremy Clarkson: The LATE James May there, making one of his, uh, final remarks.
Richard Hammond: Don't answer the door.

The letter that the Tsar had sent. The image he spoke of was a collage made by H&J natives of two double-headed eagles - one navy blue with swords, one black and lavender purple with two crowns - facing each-other off. More accurately, the black and lavender purple double-headed eagle was mauling the navy blue double-headed eagle.
It's not often that the Tsar themselves gets involved. They clearly enjoyed themselves enough to allow a leak of it by the trio.

Despite the fact that this was a rugby tournament in the homeland of rugby itself, all eyes were currently on a bunch of flying things...
Seiya N.: I never would have imagined a nation like Zoran being willing to do this.
Faust H.: Do what? I was out looking for Tempo.
Fuusuke S.: I assume you managed to find it.
Naho S.: To catch you up Faust, the Zoranians have decided to sell a collection of aircraft in weapons sales to Kalmach in their war effort against Garahun.
James M.: Now all the other members of this tournament are talking about it.
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: The Astorian nations have been particularly vocal in their opposition.]
Kanako Y.: Atsil has defended the decision by claiming that Zoran needs to be self-reliant.
Nagisa I.: You can guess how well Nieubasria took that, Faust.
Rago N.: Huh? Why do you care?!
Hyouka F.: We don't.
Futo M.: I do.
Naho S.: You're in the minority then.
Jeremy C.: A minority of 1.
Damian H.: That filthy Nur-based country is not where my caring belongs.
Lisa L.: Harsh on Kalmach, much?
James M.: It's Damian, should we expect anything other than disdain?
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: That doesn't make it right!]
Richard H.: Yeah, but we still don't care.
Mizore S.: Wait for us to care all day if you want to, it won't happen.
Arthur P.: I'm not waiting all day.
Lisa L.: It was a figure of speech.
Sage R.: Shouldn't we be focusing on the match against Sekiya? I've been researching ways to get stronger.
Free d. l. H.: You don't get stronger by accepting how everyone else does things. You get stronger by finding your own path. That's how champions are made.
Futo M.: We used to be champions, but those days art concluded.
Nagisa I.: Hey, Futo. If you think like that, everyone will be capable of getting in your way.
Origami T.: Soon, it will be our time.
Futo M.: Doth thou think we can pull it off?
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: This team isn't called Star Breaker for nothing.]
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: You're not alone in this feeling, and it isn't strange. But that damaged mindset won't do us any favours.]
Damian H.: If you sign so.
Kanako Y.: This tournament is not for the dread of Hall of Dreams adherents. It is meant as a home for the gods of sport.
Nagisa I.: This is kind of annoying, I want to make it so the Sekiya team can't play anymore!
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: Now I'm remembering what I saw on CCTV back home.]
Eirin Y.: Before anyone asks, I was already aware of the footage The Stig is referencing. Uh, Lain, are you okay?
[Lain has flashbacks to the matches against Dalimbar and Larxia]
Lain V.: ...What is this? Why do I feel this way?!
Seiya N.: Lain is almost at border point. He's experiencing an inner desire to battle strong opponents, especially historical rivals Dalimbar and local rivals Larxia. Let's leave him alone for now. When we next see him, he'll have tapped into a new level of power.
The team did as Seiya suggested and left Lain to it. Although he denied it bizarrely claiming that those teams don't know what it's like to have a metaphorical thirst, even the Pitch-Black Flame was starting to enjoy battling two very specific national rivals.
Half-Time | HEJ  7-??? TER | Half-Time

                                  

Despite the fact that this was a rugby tournament in the homeland of rugby itself, all eyes were currently on a bunch of flying things...
Seiya N.: I never would have imagined a nation like Zoran being willing to do this.
Faust H.: Do what? I was out looking for Tempo.
Fuusuke S.: I assume you managed to find it.
Naho S.: To catch you up Faust, the Zoranians have decided to sell a collection of aircraft in weapons sales to Kalmach in their war effort against Garahun.
James M.: Now all the other members of this tournament are talking about it.
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: The Astorian nations have been particularly vocal in their opposition.]
Kanako Y.: Atsil has defended the decision by claiming that Zoran needs to be self-reliant.
Nagisa I.: You can guess how well Nieubasria took that, Faust.
Rago N.: Huh? Why do you care?!
Hyouka F.: We don't.
Futo M.: I do.
Naho S.: You're in the minority then.
Jeremy C.: A minority of 1.
Damian H.: That filthy Nur-based country is not where my caring belongs.
Lisa L.: Harsh on Kalmach, much?
James M.: It's Damian, should we expect anything other than disdain?
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: That doesn't make it right!]
Richard H.: Yeah, but we still don't care.
Mizore S.: Wait for us to care all day if you want to, it won't happen.
Arthur P.: I'm not waiting all day.
Lisa L.: It was a figure of speech.
Sage R.: Shouldn't we be focusing on the match against Sekiya? I've been researching ways to get stronger.
Free d. l. H.: You don't get stronger by accepting how everyone else does things. You get stronger by finding your own path. That's how champions are made.
Futo M.: We used to be champions, but those days art concluded.
Nagisa I.: Hey, Futo. If you think like that, everyone will be capable of getting in your way.
Origami T.: Soon, it will be our time.
Futo M.: Doth thou think we can pull it off?
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: This team isn't called Star Breaker for nothing.]
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: You're not alone in this feeling, and it isn't strange. But that damaged mindset won't do us any favours.]
Damian H.: If you sign so.
Kanako Y.: This tournament is not for the dread of Hall of Dreams adherents. It is meant as a home for the gods of sport.
Nagisa I.: This is kind of annoying, I want to make it so the Sekiya team can't play anymore!
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: Now I'm remembering what I saw on CCTV back home.]
Eirin Y.: Before anyone asks, I was already aware of the footage The Stig is referencing. Uh, Lain, are you okay?
[Lain has flashbacks to the matches against Dalimbar and Larxia]
Lain V.: ...What is this? Why do I feel this way?!
Seiya N.: Lain is almost at border point. He's experiencing an inner desire to battle strong opponents, especially historical rivals Dalimbar and local rivals Larxia. Let's leave him alone for now. When we next see him, he'll have tapped into a new level of power.
The team did as Seiya suggested and left Lain to it. Although he denied it bizarrely claiming that those teams don't know what it's like to have a metaphorical thirst, even the Pitch-Black Flame was starting to enjoy battling two very specific national rivals.
Half-Time | HEJ  7-??? TER | Half-Time

                                  

Despite the fact that this was a rugby tournament in the homeland of rugby itself, all eyes were currently on a bunch of flying things...
Seiya N.: I never would have imagined a nation like Zoran being willing to do this.
Faust H.: Do what? I was out looking for Tempo.
Fuusuke S.: I assume you managed to find it.
Naho S.: To catch you up Faust, the Zoranians have decided to sell a collection of aircraft in weapons sales to Kalmach in their war effort against Garahun.
James M.: Now all the other members of this tournament are talking about it.
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: The Astorian nations have been particularly vocal in their opposition.]
Kanako Y.: Atsil has defended the decision by claiming that Zoran needs to be self-reliant.
Nagisa I.: You can guess how well Nieubasria took that, Faust.
Rago N.: Huh? Why do you care?!
Hyouka F.: We don't.
Futo M.: I do.
Naho S.: You're in the minority then.
Jeremy C.: A minority of 1.
Damian H.: That filthy Nur-based country is not where my caring belongs.
Lisa L.: Harsh on Kalmach, much?
James M.: It's Damian, should we expect anything other than disdain?
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: That doesn't make it right!]
Richard H.: Yeah, but we still don't care.
Mizore S.: Wait for us to care all day if you want to, it won't happen.
Arthur P.: I'm not waiting all day.
Lisa L.: It was a figure of speech.
Sage R.: Shouldn't we be focusing on the match against Sekiya? I've been researching ways to get stronger.
Free d. l. H.: You don't get stronger by accepting how everyone else does things. You get stronger by finding your own path. That's how champions are made.
Futo M.: We used to be champions, but those days art concluded.
Nagisa I.: Hey, Futo. If you think like that, everyone will be capable of getting in your way.
Origami T.: Soon, it will be our time.
Futo M.: Doth thou think we can pull it off?
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: This team isn't called Star Breaker for nothing.]
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: You're not alone in this feeling, and it isn't strange. But that damaged mindset won't do us any favours.]
Damian H.: If you sign so.
Kanako Y.: This tournament is not for the dread of Hall of Dreams adherents. It is meant as a home for the gods of sport.
Nagisa I.: This is kind of annoying, I want to make it so the Sekiya team can't play anymore!
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: Now I'm remembering what I saw on CCTV back home.]
Eirin Y.: Before anyone asks, I was already aware of the footage The Stig is referencing. Uh, Lain, are you okay?
[Lain has flashbacks to the matches against Dalimbar and Larxia]
Lain V.: ...What is this? Why do I feel this way?!
Seiya N.: Lain is almost at border point. He's experiencing an inner desire to battle strong opponents, especially historical rivals Dalimbar and local rivals Larxia. Let's leave him alone for now. When we next see him, he'll have tapped into a new level of power.
The team did as Seiya suggested and left Lain to it. Although he denied it bizarrely claiming that those teams don't know what it's like to have a metaphorical thirst, even the Pitch-Black Flame was starting to enjoy battling two very specific national rivals.
Half-Time | HEJ  7-??? TER | Half-Time

                                  

Despite the fact that this was a rugby tournament in the homeland of rugby itself, all eyes were currently on a bunch of flying things...
Seiya N.: I never would have imagined a nation like Zoran being willing to do this.
Faust H.: Do what? I was out looking for Tempo.
Fuusuke S.: I assume you managed to find it.
Naho S.: To catch you up Faust, the Zoranians have decided to sell a collection of aircraft in weapons sales to Kalmach in their war effort against Garahun.
James M.: Now all the other members of this tournament are talking about it.
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: The Astorian nations have been particularly vocal in their opposition.]
Kanako Y.: Atsil has defended the decision by claiming that Zoran needs to be self-reliant.
Nagisa I.: You can guess how well Nieubasria took that, Faust.
Rago N.: Huh? Why do you care?!
Hyouka F.: We don't.
Futo M.: I do.
Naho S.: You're in the minority then.
Jeremy C.: A minority of 1.
Damian H.: That filthy Nur-based country is not where my caring belongs.
Lisa L.: Harsh on Kalmach, much?
James M.: It's Damian, should we expect anything other than disdain?
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: That doesn't make it right!]
Richard H.: Yeah, but we still don't care.
Mizore S.: Wait for us to care all day if you want to, it won't happen.
Arthur P.: I'm not waiting all day.
Lisa L.: It was a figure of speech.
Sage R.: Shouldn't we be focusing on the match against Sekiya? I've been researching ways to get stronger.
Free d. l. H.: You don't get stronger by accepting how everyone else does things. You get stronger by finding your own path. That's how champions are made.
Futo M.: We used to be champions, but those days art concluded.
Nagisa I.: Hey, Futo. If you think like that, everyone will be capable of getting in your way.
Origami T.: Soon, it will be our time.
Futo M.: Doth thou think we can pull it off?
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: This team isn't called Star Breaker for nothing.]
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: You're not alone in this feeling, and it isn't strange. But that damaged mindset won't do us any favours.]
Damian H.: If you sign so.
Kanako Y.: This tournament is not for the dread of Hall of Dreams adherents. It is meant as a home for the gods of sport.
Nagisa I.: This is kind of annoying, I want to make it so the Sekiya team can't play anymore!
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: Now I'm remembering what I saw on CCTV back home.]
Eirin Y.: Before anyone asks, I was already aware of the footage The Stig is referencing. Uh, Lain, are you okay?
[Lain has flashbacks to the matches against Dalimbar and Larxia]
Lain V.: ...What is this? Why do I feel this way?!
Seiya N.: Lain is almost at border point. He's experiencing an inner desire to battle strong opponents, especially historical rivals Dalimbar and local rivals Larxia. Let's leave him alone for now. When we next see him, he'll have tapped into a new level of power.
The team did as Seiya suggested and left Lain to it. Although he denied it bizarrely claiming that those teams don't know what it's like to have a metaphorical thirst, even the Pitch-Black Flame was starting to enjoy battling two very specific national rivals.
Half-Time | HEJ  7-??? TER | Half-Time

                                  

Despite the fact that this was a rugby tournament in the homeland of rugby itself, all eyes were currently on a bunch of flying things...
Seiya N.: I never would have imagined a nation like Zoran being willing to do this.
Faust H.: Do what? I was out looking for Tempo.
Fuusuke S.: I assume you managed to find it.
Naho S.: To catch you up Faust, the Zoranians have decided to sell a collection of aircraft in weapons sales to Kalmach in their war effort against Garahun.
James M.: Now all the other members of this tournament are talking about it.
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: The Astorian nations have been particularly vocal in their opposition.]
Kanako Y.: Atsil has defended the decision by claiming that Zoran needs to be self-reliant.
Nagisa I.: You can guess how well Nieubasria took that, Faust.
Rago N.: Huh? Why do you care?!
Hyouka F.: We don't.
Futo M.: I do.
Naho S.: You're in the minority then.
Jeremy C.: A minority of 1.
Damian H.: That filthy Nur-based country is not where my caring belongs.
Lisa L.: Harsh on Kalmach, much?
James M.: It's Damian, should we expect anything other than disdain?
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: That doesn't make it right!]
Richard H.: Yeah, but we still don't care.
Mizore S.: Wait for us to care all day if you want to, it won't happen.
Arthur P.: I'm not waiting all day.
Lisa L.: It was a figure of speech.
Sage R.: Shouldn't we be focusing on the match against Sekiya? I've been researching ways to get stronger.
Free d. l. H.: You don't get stronger by accepting how everyone else does things. You get stronger by finding your own path. That's how champions are made.
Futo M.: We used to be champions, but those days art concluded.
Nagisa I.: Hey, Futo. If you think like that, everyone will be capable of getting in your way.
Origami T.: Soon, it will be our time.
Futo M.: Doth thou think we can pull it off?
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: This team isn't called Star Breaker for nothing.]
Shizune H.: ... [Sign language -> Translation: You're not alone in this feeling, and it isn't strange. But that damaged mindset won't do us any favours.]
Damian H.: If you sign so.
Kanako Y.: This tournament is not for the dread of Hall of Dreams adherents. It is meant as a home for the gods of sport.
Nagisa I.: This is kind of annoying, I want to make it so the Sekiya team can't play anymore!
The Stig: ... [Sign language -> Translation: Now I'm remembering what I saw on CCTV back home.]
Eirin Y.: Before anyone asks, I was already aware of the footage The Stig is referencing. Uh, Lain, are you okay?
[Lain has flashbacks to the matches against Dalimbar and Larxia]
Lain V.: ...What is this? Why do I feel this way?!
Seiya N.: Lain is almost at border point. He's experiencing an inner desire to battle strong opponents, especially historical rivals Dalimbar and local rivals Larxia. Let's leave him alone for now. When we next see him, he'll have tapped into a new level of power.
The team did as Seiya suggested and left Lain to it. Although he denied it bizarrely claiming that those teams don't know what it's like to have a metaphorical thirst, even the Pitch-Black Flame was starting to enjoy battling two very specific national rivals.
Half-Time | HEJ  7-??? TER | Half-Time

                                  

We go to the most impressive and most horrifying trio in the known lands. What could they be doing now?
[The trio are on the way back from the Garrison Stadium after a clean sheet victory over local rivals Larxia.]
Jeremy Clarkson: We've come to an uphill stretch, so I've decided to test my new handbrake. Simply pop it off the back, roll it out.
[Clarkson pulls the okay sign to Hammond and May.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Watch this. Roll back.
[Clarkson reverses the car onto the log attached to the back of his car, then gets out to check the results.]
Jeremy Clarkson: The wooden handbrake is holding me, I simply set off.
[Clarkson pulls a smug face.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Here we go. Oh yes! So there we are. Hill starting: solved. sometimes my genius is... it's almost frightening.
Richard Hammond: Well fair-dos that, that works. You do have to tow a log about but it works.
Jeremy Clarkson: I am a happy man today.
Richard Hammond: Chaps?
James May: Yeah?
Richard Hammond: Are we likely to see a Militsiya?
James May: I hope we do see a Militsiya, I'll show them my bonnet and ask "Could you do a better job than that?".
Jeremy Clarkson: But look on the bright side James, it's gonna be a scorcher today.
Richard Hammond: He's lying James.
[Clarkson had stolen part of May's bonnet very shoddily before the LAR-HEJ match.]
[The log attached to Clarkson's car smashes the back window.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Oh my god!
[Clarkson gets out to assess the situation, Hammond and May reverse and get out to see as well.]
Richard Hammond: ...
James May: ...
Richard Hammond: ...Huhahahaha!
James May: Oh! Haha!
Richard Hammond: Hahah!
James May: Did that...?
Richard Hammond: Oh dear! Oh...
James May: Hahahahahaha.
Jeremy Clarkson: The handbrake bounced up and has broken my... boot... window.
Richard Hammond: Ooh, you've got all glass in your seat!
Jeremy Clarkson: Stupidest idea in history.
Richard Hammond: Jeremy.
Jeremy Clarkson: What?
James May: There.
Richard Hammond: People walk around here.
James May: You've gotta sweep up all this stuff.
Richard Hammond: You have.
Jeremy Clarkson: But look, God gave us a tool for just such a... moment as this.
[Clarkson uses his hammer to further break his back window.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Would you not agree this is the ideal tool James for the job?
James May: Yes. Hammers do have their uses. I can think of one right now.
Richard Hammond: *Holds back laughter.*
Another of Clarkson's so-called genius ideas goes up in smoke. Apparently, he also has an idea of getting an ice machine. But how? Perhaps a local building has one.
Half-Time -> | LAR 0-13 HEJ | <- Half-Time

                                  

We go to the most impressive and most horrifying trio in the known lands. What could they be doing now?
[The trio are on the way back from the Garrison Stadium after a clean sheet victory over local rivals Larxia.]
Jeremy Clarkson: We've come to an uphill stretch, so I've decided to test my new handbrake. Simply pop it off the back, roll it out.
[Clarkson pulls the okay sign to Hammond and May.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Watch this. Roll back.
[Clarkson reverses the car onto the log attached to the back of his car, then gets out to check the results.]
Jeremy Clarkson: The wooden handbrake is holding me, I simply set off.
[Clarkson pulls a smug face.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Here we go. Oh yes! So there we are. Hill starting: solved. sometimes my genius is... it's almost frightening.
Richard Hammond: Well fair-dos that, that works. You do have to tow a log about but it works.
Jeremy Clarkson: I am a happy man today.
Richard Hammond: Chaps?
James May: Yeah?
Richard Hammond: Are we likely to see a Militsiya?
James May: I hope we do see a Militsiya, I'll show them my bonnet and ask "Could you do a better job than that?".
Jeremy Clarkson: But look on the bright side James, it's gonna be a scorcher today.
Richard Hammond: He's lying James.
[Clarkson had stolen part of May's bonnet very shoddily before the LAR-HEJ match.]
[The log attached to Clarkson's car smashes the back window.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Oh my god!
[Clarkson gets out to assess the situation, Hammond and May reverse and get out to see as well.]
Richard Hammond: ...
James May: ...
Richard Hammond: ...Huhahahaha!
James May: Oh! Haha!
Richard Hammond: Hahah!
James May: Did that...?
Richard Hammond: Oh dear! Oh...
James May: Hahahahahaha.
Jeremy Clarkson: The handbrake bounced up and has broken my... boot... window.
Richard Hammond: Ooh, you've got all glass in your seat!
Jeremy Clarkson: Stupidest idea in history.
Richard Hammond: Jeremy.
Jeremy Clarkson: What?
James May: There.
Richard Hammond: People walk around here.
James May: You've gotta sweep up all this stuff.
Richard Hammond: You have.
Jeremy Clarkson: But look, God gave us a tool for just such a... moment as this.
[Clarkson uses his hammer to further break his back window.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Would you not agree this is the ideal tool James for the job?
James May: Yes. Hammers do have their uses. I can think of one right now.
Richard Hammond: *Holds back laughter.*
Another of Clarkson's so-called genius ideas goes up in smoke. Apparently, he also has an idea of getting an ice machine. But how? Perhaps a local building has one.
Half-Time -> | LAR 0-13 HEJ | <- Half-Time

                                  

We go to the most impressive and most horrifying trio in the known lands. What could they be doing now?
[The trio are on the way back from the Garrison Stadium after a clean sheet victory over local rivals Larxia.]
Jeremy Clarkson: We've come to an uphill stretch, so I've decided to test my new handbrake. Simply pop it off the back, roll it out.
[Clarkson pulls the okay sign to Hammond and May.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Watch this. Roll back.
[Clarkson reverses the car onto the log attached to the back of his car, then gets out to check the results.]
Jeremy Clarkson: The wooden handbrake is holding me, I simply set off.
[Clarkson pulls a smug face.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Here we go. Oh yes! So there we are. Hill starting: solved. sometimes my genius is... it's almost frightening.
Richard Hammond: Well fair-dos that, that works. You do have to tow a log about but it works.
Jeremy Clarkson: I am a happy man today.
Richard Hammond: Chaps?
James May: Yeah?
Richard Hammond: Are we likely to see a Militsiya?
James May: I hope we do see a Militsiya, I'll show them my bonnet and ask "Could you do a better job than that?".
Jeremy Clarkson: But look on the bright side James, it's gonna be a scorcher today.
Richard Hammond: He's lying James.
[Clarkson had stolen part of May's bonnet very shoddily before the LAR-HEJ match.]
[The log attached to Clarkson's car smashes the back window.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Oh my god!
[Clarkson gets out to assess the situation, Hammond and May reverse and get out to see as well.]
Richard Hammond: ...
James May: ...
Richard Hammond: ...Huhahahaha!
James May: Oh! Haha!
Richard Hammond: Hahah!
James May: Did that...?
Richard Hammond: Oh dear! Oh...
James May: Hahahahahaha.
Jeremy Clarkson: The handbrake bounced up and has broken my... boot... window.
Richard Hammond: Ooh, you've got all glass in your seat!
Jeremy Clarkson: Stupidest idea in history.
Richard Hammond: Jeremy.
Jeremy Clarkson: What?
James May: There.
Richard Hammond: People walk around here.
James May: You've gotta sweep up all this stuff.
Richard Hammond: You have.
Jeremy Clarkson: But look, God gave us a tool for just such a... moment as this.
[Clarkson uses his hammer to further break his back window.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Would you not agree this is the ideal tool James for the job?
James May: Yes. Hammers do have their uses. I can think of one right now.
Richard Hammond: *Holds back laughter.*
Another of Clarkson's so-called genius ideas goes up in smoke. Apparently, he also has an idea of getting an ice machine. But how? Perhaps a local building has one.
Half-Time -> | LAR 0-13 HEJ | <- Half-Time

                                  

We go to the most impressive and most horrifying trio in the known lands. What could they be doing now?
[The trio are on the way back from the Garrison Stadium after a clean sheet victory over local rivals Larxia.]
Jeremy Clarkson: We've come to an uphill stretch, so I've decided to test my new handbrake. Simply pop it off the back, roll it out.
[Clarkson pulls the okay sign to Hammond and May.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Watch this. Roll back.
[Clarkson reverses the car onto the log attached to the back of his car, then gets out to check the results.]
Jeremy Clarkson: The wooden handbrake is holding me, I simply set off.
[Clarkson pulls a smug face.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Here we go. Oh yes! So there we are. Hill starting: solved. sometimes my genius is... it's almost frightening.
Richard Hammond: Well fair-dos that, that works. You do have to tow a log about but it works.
Jeremy Clarkson: I am a happy man today.
Richard Hammond: Chaps?
James May: Yeah?
Richard Hammond: Are we likely to see a Militsiya?
James May: I hope we do see a Militsiya, I'll show them my bonnet and ask "Could you do a better job than that?".
Jeremy Clarkson: But look on the bright side James, it's gonna be a scorcher today.
Richard Hammond: He's lying James.
[Clarkson had stolen part of May's bonnet very shoddily before the LAR-HEJ match.]
[The log attached to Clarkson's car smashes the back window.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Oh my god!
[Clarkson gets out to assess the situation, Hammond and May reverse and get out to see as well.]
Richard Hammond: ...
James May: ...
Richard Hammond: ...Huhahahaha!
James May: Oh! Haha!
Richard Hammond: Hahah!
James May: Did that...?
Richard Hammond: Oh dear! Oh...
James May: Hahahahahaha.
Jeremy Clarkson: The handbrake bounced up and has broken my... boot... window.
Richard Hammond: Ooh, you've got all glass in your seat!
Jeremy Clarkson: Stupidest idea in history.
Richard Hammond: Jeremy.
Jeremy Clarkson: What?
James May: There.
Richard Hammond: People walk around here.
James May: You've gotta sweep up all this stuff.
Richard Hammond: You have.
Jeremy Clarkson: But look, God gave us a tool for just such a... moment as this.
[Clarkson uses his hammer to further break his back window.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Would you not agree this is the ideal tool James for the job?
James May: Yes. Hammers do have their uses. I can think of one right now.
Richard Hammond: *Holds back laughter.*
Another of Clarkson's so-called genius ideas goes up in smoke. Apparently, he also has an idea of getting an ice machine. But how? Perhaps a local building has one.
Half-Time -> | LAR 0-13 HEJ | <- Half-Time

                                  

We go to the most impressive and most horrifying trio in the known lands. What could they be doing now?
[The trio are on the way back from the Garrison Stadium after a clean sheet victory over local rivals Larxia.]
Jeremy Clarkson: We've come to an uphill stretch, so I've decided to test my new handbrake. Simply pop it off the back, roll it out.
[Clarkson pulls the okay sign to Hammond and May.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Watch this. Roll back.
[Clarkson reverses the car onto the log attached to the back of his car, then gets out to check the results.]
Jeremy Clarkson: The wooden handbrake is holding me, I simply set off.
[Clarkson pulls a smug face.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Here we go. Oh yes! So there we are. Hill starting: solved. sometimes my genius is... it's almost frightening.
Richard Hammond: Well fair-dos that, that works. You do have to tow a log about but it works.
Jeremy Clarkson: I am a happy man today.
Richard Hammond: Chaps?
James May: Yeah?
Richard Hammond: Are we likely to see a Militsiya?
James May: I hope we do see a Militsiya, I'll show them my bonnet and ask "Could you do a better job than that?".
Jeremy Clarkson: But look on the bright side James, it's gonna be a scorcher today.
Richard Hammond: He's lying James.
[Clarkson had stolen part of May's bonnet very shoddily before the LAR-HEJ match.]
[The log attached to Clarkson's car smashes the back window.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Oh my god!
[Clarkson gets out to assess the situation, Hammond and May reverse and get out to see as well.]
Richard Hammond: ...
James May: ...
Richard Hammond: ...Huhahahaha!
James May: Oh! Haha!
Richard Hammond: Hahah!
James May: Did that...?
Richard Hammond: Oh dear! Oh...
James May: Hahahahahaha.
Jeremy Clarkson: The handbrake bounced up and has broken my... boot... window.
Richard Hammond: Ooh, you've got all glass in your seat!
Jeremy Clarkson: Stupidest idea in history.
Richard Hammond: Jeremy.
Jeremy Clarkson: What?
James May: There.
Richard Hammond: People walk around here.
James May: You've gotta sweep up all this stuff.
Richard Hammond: You have.
Jeremy Clarkson: But look, God gave us a tool for just such a... moment as this.
[Clarkson uses his hammer to further break his back window.]
Jeremy Clarkson: Would you not agree this is the ideal tool James for the job?
James May: Yes. Hammers do have their uses. I can think of one right now.
Richard Hammond: *Holds back laughter.*
Another of Clarkson's so-called genius ideas goes up in smoke. Apparently, he also has an idea of getting an ice machine. But how? Perhaps a local building has one.
Half-Time -> | LAR 0-13 HEJ | <- Half-Time

                                  

Those who didn't join in have no idea what the rest of the team are on about, something about playing out an imaginary scene, only that The Youkai had finally turned up. Against Dalimbar of all teams.
Richard H. (as 1320s): Well, listen here, ladies and germs. I just want to say you're the cat's pajamas. You're the bees knees. Now, let's get on the toot!
Futo M. (as 1360s): Groovy. Out of sight, man.
[1410s raises a glass while looking at their phone]
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Excellent.
Free d. l. H. (as 1370s): Boogie down!
Rococo U. (as 1380s): *Exhales.* Got anything stronger?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Dude, that's your fifth glass. It's excessive.
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Get a job, '90s.
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Drink my strawberry milk, dude.
Fuusuke S. (as 1340s): Listen here, you two. I didn't leave a beautiful dame at the pitch just to come here and listen to you squawk, so buck up, fat head.
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Am I the fat head?
Futo M. (as 1360s): '40s, you're putting out bad vibrations, man. Get mellow.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): That's enough coming out of you, hippy!
Futo M. (as 1360s): Hippy is just a word, man.
Richard H. (as 1320s): Everyone, please! This is supposed to be a celebration. We're supposed to have fun, drink a little hooch, and maybe do the Raphael.
Shu K. (as 1330s): All your fun is why I walk uphill 11 miles in the snow to work every day! See?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Depressing.
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Um, why don't you stop being poor?
[1320s shows off their teeth which they insist aren't whitened. They are.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Ugh. That's not hot.
Free d. l. H. (as 1370s): I'm with the '20s. We should be daaaanciiiin', yeah.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): I outlawed dancing in Lunar Prime Academy because that's how the devil gets ya.
[1370s dances in the background.]
Seiya N. (as 1350s): Fills ya with all the thoughts of lust and greed and hippy propaganda.
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Greed drives capitalism, which, theoretically, could have a positive trickle-down effect on poor people, like you, '30s.
[1390s rolls their eyes. 1330s glares at 1380s.]
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Now, seriously, do you nerds have anything stronger than this?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): You're so right, '80s. Not.
Mizore S. (as 1410s): Does anyone know the Wi-Fi password?
Seiya N. (as 1350s): Wi-Fi? Sounds like a Fujansk codeword to me.
Richard H. (as 1320s): Tonight's not about our differences! It's about what we have in common.
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Like what?
Richard H. (as 1320s): Um...
[1370s is still dancing in the background.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Lack of ethics?
Futo M. (as 1360s): I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together, man.
Shu K. (as 1330s): What is happening?
Richard H. (as 1320s): Well, that's just swell. Now who wants some baked beans, roasted tit, and an icebox cake?
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Yeah, I'm on the "nothing gross" diet.
Richard H. (as 1320s): *Gasp.*
Mizore S. (as 1410s): Do you have any frozen options? My friend's visit to Fujoshi Academy made me really want to have some.
Shu K. (as 1330s): Listen, Frosty the Snow Skank, are you from Nur?
Seiya N. (as 1350s): What ever happened to good old meatloaf? Why did everyone suddenly turn against meatloaf?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Let me guess: the hippies.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): It's 'cause of the hippies, that's why!
Futo M. (as 1360s): Yeah, I'm so hungry, I'll eat anything as long as it comes from the green Esferos, man.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): I think you've had a little too much arson.
[1360s quietly laughs in a mocking tone.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Ugh, I'm so bored. Are there any good clubs around here?
Fuusuke S. (as 1340s): Sorry, angel, no clubs for me tonight. Gotta get home to hear my favourite radio program.
[1370s has not stopped dancing in the background.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): The radio? Dude, just burn a CD.
Tess D. (as 1310s): *Exhales.* Sorry I'm late, guys. I had to, uh, disinfect my groceries. You know how it is. *Nervous laugh.*
Richard H. (as 1320s): Ah, 1310s. Wait, 1310s?
Tess D. (as 1310s): *Heavy breathing.*
[1310s begins obsessively cleaning the walls. 1360s gives a quizzical glare as 1400s grimaces. 1340s takes out their cigarette in confusion.]
Richard H. (as 1320s): I think this rose has lost her marbles.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): I bet I know why.
Futo M. (as 1360s): Yeah. Bad trip, man.
Tess D. (as 1310s): Have any of you seen my list of rules in the last hour?
[1320s shakes their head in disbelief.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Your god has those rules.
Tess D. (as 1310s): I've got a great idea! Let's do this over online instead!
[1310s swiftly leaves.]
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): I'm so glad I came to this party. Not.
[1370s just won't stop dancing in the background.]
Rococo U. (as 1380s): *Sigh*, I'm gonna need another drink.
Richard H. (as 1320s): I made that hooch in my bath, by the way.
[1380s spits out the drink.]
Origami T.: Well that was something. Did anyone even get cast to play 1310s though?
Jeremy C.: No, they didn't. By the way, isn't it strange that we only drew against Dalimbar? I know we were on bad form and the Boys In Blue are on home soil, but that's the first time we haven't won against them. We really should have won it late on with our chances.
Origami T.: Richard getting injured didn't help.
Jeremy C.: It's a good thing Hyouka was fit again.
Tess D. [in the distance]: I can't lose him....! I couldn't have possibly already lost him....! How did he open it?!
Elsewhere... just outside a restaurant of some kind...
Clarkov S.: So you're telling me that this person from my previous time of being relentlessly bullied for a decade was trying to be a toxic friend and to mentally destroy me and or kill me?
Lisa L.: That's what my findings state, yes.
Clarkov S.: And now this person is in absurd levels of pain and is likely to become dead due to being poisoned by hemlock laced into their meal after they were believed to be a love rival alongside a potential mental state assassin in an act of protection?
Gankyou K.: Yep.
Clarkov S.: Right... I had a feeling. Good riddance then. By the powers no longer vested in me because I'm not Prime Minister anymore, I declare the perpetrator to be innocent. Anyway, I've got to collect my phone. Left it back at the dorm.
[Clarkov runs off at breakneck speed to collect their phone.]
James M.: Should we tell them? It's not like it matters according to H&J law.
Sage R.: No, I think they already know what this is about. *Fake cough,* Yandere things, *fake cough*.
Gwyn R.: I already calculated the probability of Clarkov knowing why this happened, and it's 17.16%.
[Suddenly, Tess comes bolting past them.]
Tess D.: Clarkov?! Wait! Where are you?! I need to speak to you!
Damian H.: There she goes. He escaped the locker I had locked him in.
Delta Z.: Damian, why?!
Damian H.: I thought it was fun. Like dragging someone through the gates of Hell.
Naho S.: By the way, what was that Fujoshi Academy I heard about?
Damian H.: You don't want to know.

The logo of Fujoshi Academy. Yeah, this is a real place somewhere in H&J. Like Damian said, you don't want to know.
At this point, there is still no one who really knows what the hell is going on. Will they ever know? Perhaps it isn't important.
Half-Time -> | HEJ 7-??? DAL | <- Half-Time

                                  

Those who didn't join in have no idea what the rest of the team are on about, something about playing out an imaginary scene, only that The Youkai had finally turned up. Against Dalimbar of all teams.
Richard H. (as 1320s): Well, listen here, ladies and germs. I just want to say you're the cat's pajamas. You're the bees knees. Now, let's get on the toot!
Futo M. (as 1360s): Groovy. Out of sight, man.
[1410s raises a glass while looking at their phone]
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Excellent.
Free d. l. H. (as 1370s): Boogie down!
Rococo U. (as 1380s): *Exhales.* Got anything stronger?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Dude, that's your fifth glass. It's excessive.
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Get a job, '90s.
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Drink my strawberry milk, dude.
Fuusuke S. (as 1340s): Listen here, you two. I didn't leave a beautiful dame at the pitch just to come here and listen to you squawk, so buck up, fat head.
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Am I the fat head?
Futo M. (as 1360s): '40s, you're putting out bad vibrations, man. Get mellow.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): That's enough coming out of you, hippy!
Futo M. (as 1360s): Hippy is just a word, man.
Richard H. (as 1320s): Everyone, please! This is supposed to be a celebration. We're supposed to have fun, drink a little hooch, and maybe do the Raphael.
Shu K. (as 1330s): All your fun is why I walk uphill 11 miles in the snow to work every day! See?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Depressing.
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Um, why don't you stop being poor?
[1320s shows off their teeth which they insist aren't whitened. They are.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Ugh. That's not hot.
Free d. l. H. (as 1370s): I'm with the '20s. We should be daaaanciiiin', yeah.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): I outlawed dancing in Lunar Prime Academy because that's how the devil gets ya.
[1370s dances in the background.]
Seiya N. (as 1350s): Fills ya with all the thoughts of lust and greed and hippy propaganda.
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Greed drives capitalism, which, theoretically, could have a positive trickle-down effect on poor people, like you, '30s.
[1390s rolls their eyes. 1330s glares at 1380s.]
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Now, seriously, do you nerds have anything stronger than this?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): You're so right, '80s. Not.
Mizore S. (as 1410s): Does anyone know the Wi-Fi password?
Seiya N. (as 1350s): Wi-Fi? Sounds like a Fujansk codeword to me.
Richard H. (as 1320s): Tonight's not about our differences! It's about what we have in common.
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Like what?
Richard H. (as 1320s): Um...
[1370s is still dancing in the background.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Lack of ethics?
Futo M. (as 1360s): I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together, man.
Shu K. (as 1330s): What is happening?
Richard H. (as 1320s): Well, that's just swell. Now who wants some baked beans, roasted tit, and an icebox cake?
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Yeah, I'm on the "nothing gross" diet.
Richard H. (as 1320s): *Gasp.*
Mizore S. (as 1410s): Do you have any frozen options? My friend's visit to Fujoshi Academy made me really want to have some.
Shu K. (as 1330s): Listen, Frosty the Snow Skank, are you from Nur?
Seiya N. (as 1350s): What ever happened to good old meatloaf? Why did everyone suddenly turn against meatloaf?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Let me guess: the hippies.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): It's 'cause of the hippies, that's why!
Futo M. (as 1360s): Yeah, I'm so hungry, I'll eat anything as long as it comes from the green Esferos, man.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): I think you've had a little too much arson.
[1360s quietly laughs in a mocking tone.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Ugh, I'm so bored. Are there any good clubs around here?
Fuusuke S. (as 1340s): Sorry, angel, no clubs for me tonight. Gotta get home to hear my favourite radio program.
[1370s has not stopped dancing in the background.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): The radio? Dude, just burn a CD.
Tess D. (as 1310s): *Exhales.* Sorry I'm late, guys. I had to, uh, disinfect my groceries. You know how it is. *Nervous laugh.*
Richard H. (as 1320s): Ah, 1310s. Wait, 1310s?
Tess D. (as 1310s): *Heavy breathing.*
[1310s begins obsessively cleaning the walls. 1360s gives a quizzical glare as 1400s grimaces. 1340s takes out their cigarette in confusion.]
Richard H. (as 1320s): I think this rose has lost her marbles.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): I bet I know why.
Futo M. (as 1360s): Yeah. Bad trip, man.
Tess D. (as 1310s): Have any of you seen my list of rules in the last hour?
[1320s shakes their head in disbelief.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Your god has those rules.
Tess D. (as 1310s): I've got a great idea! Let's do this over online instead!
[1310s swiftly leaves.]
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): I'm so glad I came to this party. Not.
[1370s just won't stop dancing in the background.]
Rococo U. (as 1380s): *Sigh*, I'm gonna need another drink.
Richard H. (as 1320s): I made that hooch in my bath, by the way.
[1380s spits out the drink.]
Origami T.: Well that was something. Did anyone even get cast to play 1310s though?
Jeremy C.: No, they didn't. By the way, isn't it strange that we only drew against Dalimbar? I know we were on bad form and the Boys In Blue are on home soil, but that's the first time we haven't won against them. We really should have won it late on with our chances.
Origami T.: Richard getting injured didn't help.
Jeremy C.: It's a good thing Hyouka was fit again.
Tess D. [in the distance]: I can't lose him....! I couldn't have possibly already lost him....! How did he open it?!
Elsewhere... just outside a restaurant of some kind...
Clarkov S.: So you're telling me that this person from my previous time of being relentlessly bullied for a decade was trying to be a toxic friend and to mentally destroy me and or kill me?
Lisa L.: That's what my findings state, yes.
Clarkov S.: And now this person is in absurd levels of pain and is likely to become dead due to being poisoned by hemlock laced into their meal after they were believed to be a love rival alongside a potential mental state assassin in an act of protection?
Gankyou K.: Yep.
Clarkov S.: Right... I had a feeling. Good riddance then. By the powers no longer vested in me because I'm not Prime Minister anymore, I declare the perpetrator to be innocent. Anyway, I've got to collect my phone. Left it back at the dorm.
[Clarkov runs off at breakneck speed to collect their phone.]
James M.: Should we tell them? It's not like it matters according to H&J law.
Sage R.: No, I think they already know what this is about. *Fake cough,* Yandere things, *fake cough*.
Gwyn R.: I already calculated the probability of Clarkov knowing why this happened, and it's 17.16%.
[Suddenly, Tess comes bolting past them.]
Tess D.: Clarkov?! Wait! Where are you?! I need to speak to you!
Damian H.: There she goes. He escaped the locker I had locked him in.
Delta Z.: Damian, why?!
Damian H.: I thought it was fun. Like dragging someone through the gates of Hell.
Naho S.: By the way, what was that Fujoshi Academy I heard about?
Damian H.: You don't want to know.

The logo of Fujoshi Academy. Yeah, this is a real place somewhere in H&J. Like Damian said, you don't want to know.
At this point, there is still no one who really knows what the hell is going on. Will they ever know? Perhaps it isn't important.
Half-Time -> | HEJ 7-??? DAL | <- Half-Time

                                  

Those who didn't join in have no idea what the rest of the team are on about, something about playing out an imaginary scene, only that The Youkai had finally turned up. Against Dalimbar of all teams.
Richard H. (as 1320s): Well, listen here, ladies and germs. I just want to say you're the cat's pajamas. You're the bees knees. Now, let's get on the toot!
Futo M. (as 1360s): Groovy. Out of sight, man.
[1410s raises a glass while looking at their phone]
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Excellent.
Free d. l. H. (as 1370s): Boogie down!
Rococo U. (as 1380s): *Exhales.* Got anything stronger?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Dude, that's your fifth glass. It's excessive.
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Get a job, '90s.
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Drink my strawberry milk, dude.
Fuusuke S. (as 1340s): Listen here, you two. I didn't leave a beautiful dame at the pitch just to come here and listen to you squawk, so buck up, fat head.
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Am I the fat head?
Futo M. (as 1360s): '40s, you're putting out bad vibrations, man. Get mellow.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): That's enough coming out of you, hippy!
Futo M. (as 1360s): Hippy is just a word, man.
Richard H. (as 1320s): Everyone, please! This is supposed to be a celebration. We're supposed to have fun, drink a little hooch, and maybe do the Raphael.
Shu K. (as 1330s): All your fun is why I walk uphill 11 miles in the snow to work every day! See?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Depressing.
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Um, why don't you stop being poor?
[1320s shows off their teeth which they insist aren't whitened. They are.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Ugh. That's not hot.
Free d. l. H. (as 1370s): I'm with the '20s. We should be daaaanciiiin', yeah.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): I outlawed dancing in Lunar Prime Academy because that's how the devil gets ya.
[1370s dances in the background.]
Seiya N. (as 1350s): Fills ya with all the thoughts of lust and greed and hippy propaganda.
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Greed drives capitalism, which, theoretically, could have a positive trickle-down effect on poor people, like you, '30s.
[1390s rolls their eyes. 1330s glares at 1380s.]
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Now, seriously, do you nerds have anything stronger than this?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): You're so right, '80s. Not.
Mizore S. (as 1410s): Does anyone know the Wi-Fi password?
Seiya N. (as 1350s): Wi-Fi? Sounds like a Fujansk codeword to me.
Richard H. (as 1320s): Tonight's not about our differences! It's about what we have in common.
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Like what?
Richard H. (as 1320s): Um...
[1370s is still dancing in the background.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Lack of ethics?
Futo M. (as 1360s): I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together, man.
Shu K. (as 1330s): What is happening?
Richard H. (as 1320s): Well, that's just swell. Now who wants some baked beans, roasted tit, and an icebox cake?
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Yeah, I'm on the "nothing gross" diet.
Richard H. (as 1320s): *Gasp.*
Mizore S. (as 1410s): Do you have any frozen options? My friend's visit to Fujoshi Academy made me really want to have some.
Shu K. (as 1330s): Listen, Frosty the Snow Skank, are you from Nur?
Seiya N. (as 1350s): What ever happened to good old meatloaf? Why did everyone suddenly turn against meatloaf?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Let me guess: the hippies.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): It's 'cause of the hippies, that's why!
Futo M. (as 1360s): Yeah, I'm so hungry, I'll eat anything as long as it comes from the green Esferos, man.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): I think you've had a little too much arson.
[1360s quietly laughs in a mocking tone.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Ugh, I'm so bored. Are there any good clubs around here?
Fuusuke S. (as 1340s): Sorry, angel, no clubs for me tonight. Gotta get home to hear my favourite radio program.
[1370s has not stopped dancing in the background.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): The radio? Dude, just burn a CD.
Tess D. (as 1310s): *Exhales.* Sorry I'm late, guys. I had to, uh, disinfect my groceries. You know how it is. *Nervous laugh.*
Richard H. (as 1320s): Ah, 1310s. Wait, 1310s?
Tess D. (as 1310s): *Heavy breathing.*
[1310s begins obsessively cleaning the walls. 1360s gives a quizzical glare as 1400s grimaces. 1340s takes out their cigarette in confusion.]
Richard H. (as 1320s): I think this rose has lost her marbles.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): I bet I know why.
Futo M. (as 1360s): Yeah. Bad trip, man.
Tess D. (as 1310s): Have any of you seen my list of rules in the last hour?
[1320s shakes their head in disbelief.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Your god has those rules.
Tess D. (as 1310s): I've got a great idea! Let's do this over online instead!
[1310s swiftly leaves.]
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): I'm so glad I came to this party. Not.
[1370s just won't stop dancing in the background.]
Rococo U. (as 1380s): *Sigh*, I'm gonna need another drink.
Richard H. (as 1320s): I made that hooch in my bath, by the way.
[1380s spits out the drink.]
Origami T.: Well that was something. Did anyone even get cast to play 1310s though?
Jeremy C.: No, they didn't. By the way, isn't it strange that we only drew against Dalimbar? I know we were on bad form and the Boys In Blue are on home soil, but that's the first time we haven't won against them. We really should have won it late on with our chances.
Origami T.: Richard getting injured didn't help.
Jeremy C.: It's a good thing Hyouka was fit again.
Tess D. [in the distance]: I can't lose him....! I couldn't have possibly already lost him....! How did he open it?!
Elsewhere... just outside a restaurant of some kind...
Clarkov S.: So you're telling me that this person from my previous time of being relentlessly bullied for a decade was trying to be a toxic friend and to mentally destroy me and or kill me?
Lisa L.: That's what my findings state, yes.
Clarkov S.: And now this person is in absurd levels of pain and is likely to become dead due to being poisoned by hemlock laced into their meal after they were believed to be a love rival alongside a potential mental state assassin in an act of protection?
Gankyou K.: Yep.
Clarkov S.: Right... I had a feeling. Good riddance then. By the powers no longer vested in me because I'm not Prime Minister anymore, I declare the perpetrator to be innocent. Anyway, I've got to collect my phone. Left it back at the dorm.
[Clarkov runs off at breakneck speed to collect their phone.]
James M.: Should we tell them? It's not like it matters according to H&J law.
Sage R.: No, I think they already know what this is about. *Fake cough,* Yandere things, *fake cough*.
Gwyn R.: I already calculated the probability of Clarkov knowing why this happened, and it's 17.16%.
[Suddenly, Tess comes bolting past them.]
Tess D.: Clarkov?! Wait! Where are you?! I need to speak to you!
Damian H.: There she goes. He escaped the locker I had locked him in.
Delta Z.: Damian, why?!
Damian H.: I thought it was fun. Like dragging someone through the gates of Hell.
Naho S.: By the way, what was that Fujoshi Academy I heard about?
Damian H.: You don't want to know.

The logo of Fujoshi Academy. Yeah, this is a real place somewhere in H&J. Like Damian said, you don't want to know.
At this point, there is still no one who really knows what the hell is going on. Will they ever know? Perhaps it isn't important.
Half-Time -> | HEJ 7-??? DAL | <- Half-Time

                                  

Those who didn't join in have no idea what the rest of the team are on about, something about playing out an imaginary scene, only that The Youkai had finally turned up. Against Dalimbar of all teams.
Richard H. (as 1320s): Well, listen here, ladies and germs. I just want to say you're the cat's pajamas. You're the bees knees. Now, let's get on the toot!
Futo M. (as 1360s): Groovy. Out of sight, man.
[1410s raises a glass while looking at their phone]
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Excellent.
Free d. l. H. (as 1370s): Boogie down!
Rococo U. (as 1380s): *Exhales.* Got anything stronger?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Dude, that's your fifth glass. It's excessive.
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Get a job, '90s.
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Drink my strawberry milk, dude.
Fuusuke S. (as 1340s): Listen here, you two. I didn't leave a beautiful dame at the pitch just to come here and listen to you squawk, so buck up, fat head.
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Am I the fat head?
Futo M. (as 1360s): '40s, you're putting out bad vibrations, man. Get mellow.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): That's enough coming out of you, hippy!
Futo M. (as 1360s): Hippy is just a word, man.
Richard H. (as 1320s): Everyone, please! This is supposed to be a celebration. We're supposed to have fun, drink a little hooch, and maybe do the Raphael.
Shu K. (as 1330s): All your fun is why I walk uphill 11 miles in the snow to work every day! See?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Depressing.
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Um, why don't you stop being poor?
[1320s shows off their teeth which they insist aren't whitened. They are.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Ugh. That's not hot.
Free d. l. H. (as 1370s): I'm with the '20s. We should be daaaanciiiin', yeah.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): I outlawed dancing in Lunar Prime Academy because that's how the devil gets ya.
[1370s dances in the background.]
Seiya N. (as 1350s): Fills ya with all the thoughts of lust and greed and hippy propaganda.
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Greed drives capitalism, which, theoretically, could have a positive trickle-down effect on poor people, like you, '30s.
[1390s rolls their eyes. 1330s glares at 1380s.]
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Now, seriously, do you nerds have anything stronger than this?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): You're so right, '80s. Not.
Mizore S. (as 1410s): Does anyone know the Wi-Fi password?
Seiya N. (as 1350s): Wi-Fi? Sounds like a Fujansk codeword to me.
Richard H. (as 1320s): Tonight's not about our differences! It's about what we have in common.
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Like what?
Richard H. (as 1320s): Um...
[1370s is still dancing in the background.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Lack of ethics?
Futo M. (as 1360s): I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together, man.
Shu K. (as 1330s): What is happening?
Richard H. (as 1320s): Well, that's just swell. Now who wants some baked beans, roasted tit, and an icebox cake?
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Yeah, I'm on the "nothing gross" diet.
Richard H. (as 1320s): *Gasp.*
Mizore S. (as 1410s): Do you have any frozen options? My friend's visit to Fujoshi Academy made me really want to have some.
Shu K. (as 1330s): Listen, Frosty the Snow Skank, are you from Nur?
Seiya N. (as 1350s): What ever happened to good old meatloaf? Why did everyone suddenly turn against meatloaf?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Let me guess: the hippies.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): It's 'cause of the hippies, that's why!
Futo M. (as 1360s): Yeah, I'm so hungry, I'll eat anything as long as it comes from the green Esferos, man.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): I think you've had a little too much arson.
[1360s quietly laughs in a mocking tone.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Ugh, I'm so bored. Are there any good clubs around here?
Fuusuke S. (as 1340s): Sorry, angel, no clubs for me tonight. Gotta get home to hear my favourite radio program.
[1370s has not stopped dancing in the background.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): The radio? Dude, just burn a CD.
Tess D. (as 1310s): *Exhales.* Sorry I'm late, guys. I had to, uh, disinfect my groceries. You know how it is. *Nervous laugh.*
Richard H. (as 1320s): Ah, 1310s. Wait, 1310s?
Tess D. (as 1310s): *Heavy breathing.*
[1310s begins obsessively cleaning the walls. 1360s gives a quizzical glare as 1400s grimaces. 1340s takes out their cigarette in confusion.]
Richard H. (as 1320s): I think this rose has lost her marbles.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): I bet I know why.
Futo M. (as 1360s): Yeah. Bad trip, man.
Tess D. (as 1310s): Have any of you seen my list of rules in the last hour?
[1320s shakes their head in disbelief.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Your god has those rules.
Tess D. (as 1310s): I've got a great idea! Let's do this over online instead!
[1310s swiftly leaves.]
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): I'm so glad I came to this party. Not.
[1370s just won't stop dancing in the background.]
Rococo U. (as 1380s): *Sigh*, I'm gonna need another drink.
Richard H. (as 1320s): I made that hooch in my bath, by the way.
[1380s spits out the drink.]
Origami T.: Well that was something. Did anyone even get cast to play 1310s though?
Jeremy C.: No, they didn't. By the way, isn't it strange that we only drew against Dalimbar? I know we were on bad form and the Boys In Blue are on home soil, but that's the first time we haven't won against them. We really should have won it late on with our chances.
Origami T.: Richard getting injured didn't help.
Jeremy C.: It's a good thing Hyouka was fit again.
Tess D. [in the distance]: I can't lose him....! I couldn't have possibly already lost him....! How did he open it?!
Elsewhere... just outside a restaurant of some kind...
Clarkov S.: So you're telling me that this person from my previous time of being relentlessly bullied for a decade was trying to be a toxic friend and to mentally destroy me and or kill me?
Lisa L.: That's what my findings state, yes.
Clarkov S.: And now this person is in absurd levels of pain and is likely to become dead due to being poisoned by hemlock laced into their meal after they were believed to be a love rival alongside a potential mental state assassin in an act of protection?
Gankyou K.: Yep.
Clarkov S.: Right... I had a feeling. Good riddance then. By the powers no longer vested in me because I'm not Prime Minister anymore, I declare the perpetrator to be innocent. Anyway, I've got to collect my phone. Left it back at the dorm.
[Clarkov runs off at breakneck speed to collect their phone.]
James M.: Should we tell them? It's not like it matters according to H&J law.
Sage R.: No, I think they already know what this is about. *Fake cough,* Yandere things, *fake cough*.
Gwyn R.: I already calculated the probability of Clarkov knowing why this happened, and it's 17.16%.
[Suddenly, Tess comes bolting past them.]
Tess D.: Clarkov?! Wait! Where are you?! I need to speak to you!
Damian H.: There she goes. He escaped the locker I had locked him in.
Delta Z.: Damian, why?!
Damian H.: I thought it was fun. Like dragging someone through the gates of Hell.
Naho S.: By the way, what was that Fujoshi Academy I heard about?
Damian H.: You don't want to know.

The logo of Fujoshi Academy. Yeah, this is a real place somewhere in H&J. Like Damian said, you don't want to know.
At this point, there is still no one who really knows what the hell is going on. Will they ever know? Perhaps it isn't important.
Half-Time -> | HEJ 7-??? DAL | <- Half-Time

                                  

Those who didn't join in have no idea what the rest of the team are on about, something about playing out an imaginary scene, only that The Youkai had finally turned up. Against Dalimbar of all teams.
Richard H. (as 1320s): Well, listen here, ladies and germs. I just want to say you're the cat's pajamas. You're the bees knees. Now, let's get on the toot!
Futo M. (as 1360s): Groovy. Out of sight, man.
[1410s raises a glass while looking at their phone]
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Excellent.
Free d. l. H. (as 1370s): Boogie down!
Rococo U. (as 1380s): *Exhales.* Got anything stronger?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Dude, that's your fifth glass. It's excessive.
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Get a job, '90s.
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Drink my strawberry milk, dude.
Fuusuke S. (as 1340s): Listen here, you two. I didn't leave a beautiful dame at the pitch just to come here and listen to you squawk, so buck up, fat head.
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Am I the fat head?
Futo M. (as 1360s): '40s, you're putting out bad vibrations, man. Get mellow.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): That's enough coming out of you, hippy!
Futo M. (as 1360s): Hippy is just a word, man.
Richard H. (as 1320s): Everyone, please! This is supposed to be a celebration. We're supposed to have fun, drink a little hooch, and maybe do the Raphael.
Shu K. (as 1330s): All your fun is why I walk uphill 11 miles in the snow to work every day! See?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Depressing.
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Um, why don't you stop being poor?
[1320s shows off their teeth which they insist aren't whitened. They are.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Ugh. That's not hot.
Free d. l. H. (as 1370s): I'm with the '20s. We should be daaaanciiiin', yeah.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): I outlawed dancing in Lunar Prime Academy because that's how the devil gets ya.
[1370s dances in the background.]
Seiya N. (as 1350s): Fills ya with all the thoughts of lust and greed and hippy propaganda.
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Greed drives capitalism, which, theoretically, could have a positive trickle-down effect on poor people, like you, '30s.
[1390s rolls their eyes. 1330s glares at 1380s.]
Rococo U. (as 1380s): Now, seriously, do you nerds have anything stronger than this?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): You're so right, '80s. Not.
Mizore S. (as 1410s): Does anyone know the Wi-Fi password?
Seiya N. (as 1350s): Wi-Fi? Sounds like a Fujansk codeword to me.
Richard H. (as 1320s): Tonight's not about our differences! It's about what we have in common.
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Like what?
Richard H. (as 1320s): Um...
[1370s is still dancing in the background.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Lack of ethics?
Futo M. (as 1360s): I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together, man.
Shu K. (as 1330s): What is happening?
Richard H. (as 1320s): Well, that's just swell. Now who wants some baked beans, roasted tit, and an icebox cake?
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Yeah, I'm on the "nothing gross" diet.
Richard H. (as 1320s): *Gasp.*
Mizore S. (as 1410s): Do you have any frozen options? My friend's visit to Fujoshi Academy made me really want to have some.
Shu K. (as 1330s): Listen, Frosty the Snow Skank, are you from Nur?
Seiya N. (as 1350s): What ever happened to good old meatloaf? Why did everyone suddenly turn against meatloaf?
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): Let me guess: the hippies.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): It's 'cause of the hippies, that's why!
Futo M. (as 1360s): Yeah, I'm so hungry, I'll eat anything as long as it comes from the green Esferos, man.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): I think you've had a little too much arson.
[1360s quietly laughs in a mocking tone.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Ugh, I'm so bored. Are there any good clubs around here?
Fuusuke S. (as 1340s): Sorry, angel, no clubs for me tonight. Gotta get home to hear my favourite radio program.
[1370s has not stopped dancing in the background.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): The radio? Dude, just burn a CD.
Tess D. (as 1310s): *Exhales.* Sorry I'm late, guys. I had to, uh, disinfect my groceries. You know how it is. *Nervous laugh.*
Richard H. (as 1320s): Ah, 1310s. Wait, 1310s?
Tess D. (as 1310s): *Heavy breathing.*
[1310s begins obsessively cleaning the walls. 1360s gives a quizzical glare as 1400s grimaces. 1340s takes out their cigarette in confusion.]
Richard H. (as 1320s): I think this rose has lost her marbles.
Seiya N. (as 1350s): I bet I know why.
Futo M. (as 1360s): Yeah. Bad trip, man.
Tess D. (as 1310s): Have any of you seen my list of rules in the last hour?
[1320s shakes their head in disbelief.]
Promestein P. (as 1400s): Your god has those rules.
Tess D. (as 1310s): I've got a great idea! Let's do this over online instead!
[1310s swiftly leaves.]
Nagisa I. (as 1390s): I'm so glad I came to this party. Not.
[1370s just won't stop dancing in the background.]
Rococo U. (as 1380s): *Sigh*, I'm gonna need another drink.
Richard H. (as 1320s): I made that hooch in my bath, by the way.
[1380s spits out the drink.]
Origami T.: Well that was something. Did anyone even get cast to play 1310s though?
Jeremy C.: No, they didn't. By the way, isn't it strange that we only drew against Dalimbar? I know we were on bad form and the Boys In Blue are on home soil, but that's the first time we haven't won against them. We really should have won it late on with our chances.
Origami T.: Richard getting injured didn't help.
Jeremy C.: It's a good thing Hyouka was fit again.
Tess D. [in the distance]: I can't lose him....! I couldn't have possibly already lost him....! How did he open it?!
Elsewhere... just outside a restaurant of some kind...
Clarkov S.: So you're telling me that this person from my previous time of being relentlessly bullied for a decade was trying to be a toxic friend and to mentally destroy me and or kill me?
Lisa L.: That's what my findings state, yes.
Clarkov S.: And now this person is in absurd levels of pain and is likely to become dead due to being poisoned by hemlock laced into their meal after they were believed to be a love rival alongside a potential mental state assassin in an act of protection?
Gankyou K.: Yep.
Clarkov S.: Right... I had a feeling. Good riddance then. By the powers no longer vested in me because I'm not Prime Minister anymore, I declare the perpetrator to be innocent. Anyway, I've got to collect my phone. Left it back at the dorm.
[Clarkov runs off at breakneck speed to collect their phone.]
James M.: Should we tell them? It's not like it matters according to H&J law.
Sage R.: No, I think they already know what this is about. *Fake cough,* Yandere things, *fake cough*.
Gwyn R.: I already calculated the probability of Clarkov knowing why this happened, and it's 17.16%.
[Suddenly, Tess comes bolting past them.]
Tess D.: Clarkov?! Wait! Where are you?! I need to speak to you!
Damian H.: There she goes. He escaped the locker I had locked him in.
Delta Z.: Damian, why?!
Damian H.: I thought it was fun. Like dragging someone through the gates of Hell.
Naho S.: By the way, what was that Fujoshi Academy I heard about?
Damian H.: You don't want to know.

The logo of Fujoshi Academy. Yeah, this is a real place somewhere in H&J. Like Damian said, you don't want to know.
At this point, there is still no one who really knows what the hell is going on. Will they ever know? Perhaps it isn't important.
Half-Time -> | HEJ 7-??? DAL | <- Half-Time

                                  

New Zoradia, Zoran
20 March 1423
05:30 Overtime
Atsil's Office
Atsil sits in her office reviewing the reports of her daily brief when a knock comes from the door. She invited them in and the ministers of culture and education entered the room.
“Good morning, your Majesty.” says Cultural Minister Ahneewakee and Education Minister Deyani,
“Good morning to you both, what is it you are here to discuss” Atsil replies,
“We both came up with an idea on how to settle the debate on whether to call the War a revolution or a civil war.” answered Deyani,
“Yes, the way we see it now is the perfect time to establish the narrative we wish to teach the public and future generations about that part of our history and what better way than by creating a myth for the revolution through a medium that our people are internationally known for creating.” said Ahneewakee,
“...You’re both scaring me here…what is it?”
“Anime!” They both ecstatically exclaimed.
Atsil blinked slowly, baffled by the idea and not very favorable towards it,
“You are telling me that not only do you want to push a possibly false or misleading narrative but you want to make an anime with state funding and possibly make a mockery of the sacrifices and pain felt by the whole country suffered during it.”
“Believe us, we had similar thoughts,” began Minister Deyani, “but after talking it out a bit we believe that anime allows a medium that can attract a younger demographic while allowing the ability to capture the complexity and seriousness of the topic.”
“I don’t know if you know, your Majesty, but there are some pretty dark animes out there that fit the setting of the revolution.” said Minister Ahneewakee.
Atsil sighed as she sat back into her chair and put her hands together,
“Listen, if you manage to work with one of the animation studios in the country and write up the general plot and what the anime will cover as well as some scenes to demonstrate how it will look and present it to me, I will use that to judge whether or not we proceed with the plan. Will that be alright with both of you?” 
They both nodded enthusiastically and Atsil could feel 
 
New Zoradia, Zoran
2 April 1423
08:30 Overtime

“What,” began Atsil, “are these?”
“It is some rough concept art of how the Zoranian Revolution anime will look like.” answered Minister Aneewakee,
“Yes I know that!” she exclaimed, “I hope that they sort out some of the distorted faces on here if we go through with this but the flag isn’t even right!? I am really not impressed with this initial presentation. Plus, is that supposed to be me!?” she says pointing at the character in the middle,
“Well, your Majesty, that is partially our fault because we only gave them about two weeks to get some things put together. They said it would take about a month to have it be done properly but we rushed it and this is what we got.” said Minister Deyani,
“For future reference, when I ask you to get me something as a demonstration I am more concerned with the quality of what is presented than a timeline, with exception to timely projects.”
“Understood, your Majesty…but is the summary of the plot and the snippets of the script better than the visual presentation?” asked Minister Aneewakee.
Atsil read through the summary and script a second time,
“Surprisingly, it does. Based on what I am seeing here it is accurate to what actually occurred excluding some creative liberties in terms of banter between characters.” answered Atsil, “Ok, I will give your project a chance. Ask the animation studio for the pilot episode and do not rush them this time, I want to see quality, not trash.”
Minister Deyani were ecstatic as they gave each other a high five,
“We won’t let you down!” said Minister Aneewakee.
Atsil looks over the posters for a second time,
“Also tell them to fix how I look, my hair was shorter at the time and I have a larger bust than that.” she says before leaving them in her office as she goes to another meeting. Aneewakee looked at Deyani with a smirk,
“I told you they had it right the first time.” she said,
“I didn’t want the studio to potentially offend her!” he said,
“Suuuuuuure, prude.” she retorts,
“I just don't want to lose my job!”

Results of the 3rd Match Day of the Group Stage
Group A Hertfordshire and Jammbo 14–14 Dalimbar Teralyon 20–22 Ostronia Sekiya 38–7 Ionia Group A Pld W D L PF PA PD Pts 1 Ostronia 3 2 1 0 71 59 +12 10 2 Teralyon 3 2 0 1 64 32 +32 8 3 Dalimbar 2 1 1 0 48 22 +26 6 4 Sekiya 2 1 0 1 48 34 +14 4 5 Ionia 3 1 0 2 30 76 −46 4 6 Hertfordshire and Jammbo 3 0 1 2 52 64 −12 2 7 Larxia 2 0 1 1 30 56 −26 2 Group B Giovanniland 0–7 Zoran Varanius 19–7 Apexiala Rivalfiume 13–3 Saranzio Group B Pld W D L PF PA PD Pts 1 Varanius 3 2 0 1 69 51 +18 8 2 Zoran 2 2 0 0 23 7 +16 8 3 Giovanniland 3 1 1 1 13 14 −1 6 4 Saranzio 3 1 1 1 33 37 −4 6 5 Saint Mark 2 1 0 1 22 16 +6 4 6 Rivalfiume 2 1 0 1 27 29 −2 4 7 Apexiala 3 0 0 3 14 47 −33 0 Group C Nieubasria 0–20 Cambria Einherfell (NPC) 10–24 Overthinkers Cyrylic 12–29 Peourouin Group C Pld W D L PF PA PD Pts 1 Overthinkers 3 3 0 0 66 13 +53 12 2 Cambria 2 2 0 0 33 6 +27 8 3 Peourouin 3 2 0 1 47 22 +25 8 4 Cyrylic 2 1 0 1 28 44 −16 4 5 Nieubasria 3 1 0 2 13 43 −30 4 6 Einherfell (NPC) 3 0 0 3 25 51 −26 0 7 Libterraria (NPC) 2 0 0 2 6 39 −33 0 Group D Dilber 3–10 United Adaikes Arifiyyah 0–14 Ryxtylopia Aftokratoria 10–19 Kalmach Group D Pld W D L PF PA PD Pts 1 Ryxtylopia 3 2 0 1 38 9 +29 8 2 Kalmach 3 2 0 1 46 31 +15 8 3 United Adaikes 2 2 0 0 21 13 +8 8 4 Fujai 2 1 0 1 16 14 +2 4 5 Dilber 3 1 0 2 16 37 −21 4 6 Arifiyyah 3 1 0 2 25 47 −22 4 7 Aftokratoria 2 0 0 2 22 33 −11 0

Much like the last time we saw them, the trio are rambling on about things related to monarchy or something...
Jeremy Clarkson: Some say that he knows two facts about Cambrians and both of them are wrong, and that 9 years ago, he accidentally introduced His Majesty The Tsar to an Overthinkan Bureaucrat. All we know is...
Richard Hammond: That's not The Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson: I'm sorry what?
Richard Hammond: Look at that jumper and tell me that is The Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson: No, you're right. James, we know it's you.
[May takes off the helmet]
James May: Cock, I was hoping you wouldn't figure it out.
Richard Hammond: What did you think would happen with clothes like those?

The Stig's Slow Cousin James May in a helmet. Being slow is the one thing the Stig family will never be. Unless it's Leisure Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson: ...Anyway. All we know is, I'm going to the Crystalline Palace now to have my head cut off.
Richard Hammond: Really? I'll get a front row seat.
Jeremy Clarkson: On second thought, I'll just get James to bore me to death instead.
James May: On that subject, I saw a clip earlier of the new Epitaph Line and Transport For Parndon presumably gave the Tsar a Galleon Card so he could ride on it, which I thought was rather poor form actually because, if I was the Tsar and I approached the ticket barrier, and they said "Could I see your Galleon Card?", I'd say "Listen. Subject."
Richard Hammond: We're not dead yet, Jeremy.
James May: "Of course I can get on the bloody train, it's mine you idiot."
Jeremy Clarkson: That was quite funny actually.
James May: And I know why they're doing it, they're doing it because they can.
Jeremy Clarkson: They should take a lesson from the Tsar. That position has been, the Tsar, for around what, 2 decades? Now he has the constitutional right, and power... [Clarkson slowly bursts into laughter]
[Some Dalimbari otters can be seen in the background doing... things]
Richard Hammond: Really, this is just their display team.
Jeremy Clarkson: This bit better go in because that's going to be un-fucking-editable, that is.
James May: Where were we?
Jeremy Clarkson: They should take a lesson from the Tsar. He's been in power for what, 4 years?
Richard Hammond: Yeah.
Jeremy Clarkson: And he has the constitutional right to declare war on another country, right? And he can do that and he never has.
Richard Hammond: Hmm, 4 years isn't very long.
Jeremy Clarkson: I mean, how long would you last before you declared war, if you had the ability to do it?
Richard Hammond: I'd give it 4 days.
Jeremy Clarkson: Exactly! "I declare war... on Zoran!".
Richard Hammond: Hahaha! "Give them a right battering!".
Jeremy Clarkson: That's what I would do.
Richard Hammond: Well you would if you could. That's the problem, that's why they do it.
James May: Hang on, chaps... is that...?
Richard Hammond: Oh yeah.
Jeremy Clarkson: It is.
Richard Hammond: Not sure who the lady is though.
James May: Do you think the otters attacked him?
Jeremy Clarkson: That's probably why they're all gathered there.
Richard Hammond: Do you think we should see what's going on?

Somehow, Clarkson had this vehicle delivered. You'd think the Armed Forces of Hertfordshire and Jammbo had it delivered. If so, does that mean members of the army are in Dalimbar right now? What about members of the air force or navy?
James May: In a military machine with some white paint on it?
Jeremy Clarkson: It isn't military! It's for clearance and saving lives, Transport Minister Saiko had one of these.
Richard Hammond: ...Harhahahahaha!
Jeremy Clarkson: Stig's Kiltie Cousin, you can stop filming.
Richard Hammond: This was natural, right?
James May: There are no scripts.
Jeremy Clarkson: Now come on chaps. I mean, how hard can it be?
Richard Hammond: Oh, don't say that.
James May: Who's The Stig's Kiltie Cousin?
Jeremy Clarkson: Him.
 
The Stig's... Cambrian Cousin? We aren't quite sure. Certainly a kiltie though.
Clarkson brought Hammond and May into his white vehicle, which he dubbed the "Eaty Thing of Devastation". The trio proceeded to drive it in the direction of the otters and the strange injured reporter.

Much like the last time we saw them, the trio are rambling on about things related to monarchy or something...
Jeremy Clarkson: Some say that he knows two facts about Cambrians and both of them are wrong, and that 9 years ago, he accidentally introduced His Majesty The Tsar to an Overthinkan Bureaucrat. All we know is...
Richard Hammond: That's not The Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson: I'm sorry what?
Richard Hammond: Look at that jumper and tell me that is The Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson: No, you're right. James, we know it's you.
[May takes off the helmet]
James May: Cock, I was hoping you wouldn't figure it out.
Richard Hammond: What did you think would happen with clothes like those?

The Stig's Slow Cousin James May in a helmet. Being slow is the one thing the Stig family will never be. Unless it's Leisure Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson: ...Anyway. All we know is, I'm going to the Crystalline Palace now to have my head cut off.
Richard Hammond: Really? I'll get a front row seat.
Jeremy Clarkson: On second thought, I'll just get James to bore me to death instead.
James May: On that subject, I saw a clip earlier of the new Epitaph Line and Transport For Parndon presumably gave the Tsar a Galleon Card so he could ride on it, which I thought was rather poor form actually because, if I was the Tsar and I approached the ticket barrier, and they said "Could I see your Galleon Card?", I'd say "Listen. Subject."
Richard Hammond: We're not dead yet, Jeremy.
James May: "Of course I can get on the bloody train, it's mine you idiot."
Jeremy Clarkson: That was quite funny actually.
James May: And I know why they're doing it, they're doing it because they can.
Jeremy Clarkson: They should take a lesson from the Tsar. That position has been, the Tsar, for around what, 2 decades? Now he has the constitutional right, and power... [Clarkson slowly bursts into laughter]
[Some Dalimbari otters can be seen in the background doing... things]
Richard Hammond: Really, this is just their display team.
Jeremy Clarkson: This bit better go in because that's going to be un-fucking-editable, that is.
James May: Where were we?
Jeremy Clarkson: They should take a lesson from the Tsar. He's been in power for what, 4 years?
Richard Hammond: Yeah.
Jeremy Clarkson: And he has the constitutional right to declare war on another country, right? And he can do that and he never has.
Richard Hammond: Hmm, 4 years isn't very long.
Jeremy Clarkson: I mean, how long would you last before you declared war, if you had the ability to do it?
Richard Hammond: I'd give it 4 days.
Jeremy Clarkson: Exactly! "I declare war... on Zoran!".
Richard Hammond: Hahaha! "Give them a right battering!".
Jeremy Clarkson: That's what I would do.
Richard Hammond: Well you would if you could. That's the problem, that's why they do it.
James May: Hang on, chaps... is that...?
Richard Hammond: Oh yeah.
Jeremy Clarkson: It is.
Richard Hammond: Not sure who the lady is though.
James May: Do you think the otters attacked him?
Jeremy Clarkson: That's probably why they're all gathered there.
Richard Hammond: Do you think we should see what's going on?

Somehow, Clarkson had this vehicle delivered. You'd think the Armed Forces of Hertfordshire and Jammbo had it delivered. If so, does that mean members of the army are in Dalimbar right now? What about members of the air force or navy?
James May: In a military machine with some white paint on it?
Jeremy Clarkson: It isn't military! It's for clearance and saving lives, Transport Minister Saiko had one of these.
Richard Hammond: ...Harhahahahaha!
Jeremy Clarkson: Stig's Kiltie Cousin, you can stop filming.
Richard Hammond: This was natural, right?
James May: There are no scripts.
Jeremy Clarkson: Now come on chaps. I mean, how hard can it be?
Richard Hammond: Oh, don't say that.
James May: Who's The Stig's Kiltie Cousin?
Jeremy Clarkson: Him.
 
The Stig's... Cambrian Cousin? We aren't quite sure. Certainly a kiltie though.
Clarkson brought Hammond and May into his white vehicle, which he dubbed the "Eaty Thing of Devastation". The trio proceeded to drive it in the direction of the otters and the strange injured reporter.

Much like the last time we saw them, the trio are rambling on about things related to monarchy or something...
Jeremy Clarkson: Some say that he knows two facts about Cambrians and both of them are wrong, and that 9 years ago, he accidentally introduced His Majesty The Tsar to an Overthinkan Bureaucrat. All we know is...
Richard Hammond: That's not The Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson: I'm sorry what?
Richard Hammond: Look at that jumper and tell me that is The Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson: No, you're right. James, we know it's you.
[May takes off the helmet]
James May: Cock, I was hoping you wouldn't figure it out.
Richard Hammond: What did you think would happen with clothes like those?

The Stig's Slow Cousin James May in a helmet. Being slow is the one thing the Stig family will never be. Unless it's Leisure Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson: ...Anyway. All we know is, I'm going to the Crystalline Palace now to have my head cut off.
Richard Hammond: Really? I'll get a front row seat.
Jeremy Clarkson: On second thought, I'll just get James to bore me to death instead.
James May: On that subject, I saw a clip earlier of the new Epitaph Line and Transport For Parndon presumably gave the Tsar a Galleon Card so he could ride on it, which I thought was rather poor form actually because, if I was the Tsar and I approached the ticket barrier, and they said "Could I see your Galleon Card?", I'd say "Listen. Subject."
Richard Hammond: We're not dead yet, Jeremy.
James May: "Of course I can get on the bloody train, it's mine you idiot."
Jeremy Clarkson: That was quite funny actually.
James May: And I know why they're doing it, they're doing it because they can.
Jeremy Clarkson: They should take a lesson from the Tsar. That position has been, the Tsar, for around what, 2 decades? Now he has the constitutional right, and power... [Clarkson slowly bursts into laughter]
[Some Dalimbari otters can be seen in the background doing... things]
Richard Hammond: Really, this is just their display team.
Jeremy Clarkson: This bit better go in because that's going to be un-fucking-editable, that is.
James May: Where were we?
Jeremy Clarkson: They should take a lesson from the Tsar. He's been in power for what, 4 years?
Richard Hammond: Yeah.
Jeremy Clarkson: And he has the constitutional right to declare war on another country, right? And he can do that and he never has.
Richard Hammond: Hmm, 4 years isn't very long.
Jeremy Clarkson: I mean, how long would you last before you declared war, if you had the ability to do it?
Richard Hammond: I'd give it 4 days.
Jeremy Clarkson: Exactly! "I declare war... on Zoran!".
Richard Hammond: Hahaha! "Give them a right battering!".
Jeremy Clarkson: That's what I would do.
Richard Hammond: Well you would if you could. That's the problem, that's why they do it.
James May: Hang on, chaps... is that...?
Richard Hammond: Oh yeah.
Jeremy Clarkson: It is.
Richard Hammond: Not sure who the lady is though.
James May: Do you think the otters attacked him?
Jeremy Clarkson: That's probably why they're all gathered there.
Richard Hammond: Do you think we should see what's going on?

Somehow, Clarkson had this vehicle delivered. You'd think the Armed Forces of Hertfordshire and Jammbo had it delivered. If so, does that mean members of the army are in Dalimbar right now? What about members of the air force or navy?
James May: In a military machine with some white paint on it?
Jeremy Clarkson: It isn't military! It's for clearance and saving lives, Transport Minister Saiko had one of these.
Richard Hammond: ...Harhahahahaha!
Jeremy Clarkson: Stig's Kiltie Cousin, you can stop filming.
Richard Hammond: This was natural, right?
James May: There are no scripts.
Jeremy Clarkson: Now come on chaps. I mean, how hard can it be?
Richard Hammond: Oh, don't say that.
James May: Who's The Stig's Kiltie Cousin?
Jeremy Clarkson: Him.
 
The Stig's... Cambrian Cousin? We aren't quite sure. Certainly a kiltie though.
Clarkson brought Hammond and May into his white vehicle, which he dubbed the "Eaty Thing of Devastation". The trio proceeded to drive it in the direction of the otters and the strange injured reporter.