[TWPChooses #12]

I don't think I need to go into detail about whether I'd rather live in perpetual summer or winter.

There's a reason one of the family in-jokes has me having ice flowing through my system instead of blood.

[TWPChooses #9]

In the end I don't really care about gaining money. As long as I have necessary money to get by comfortably, it's all good. That, and a behavioural thing that comes with the autism - if I'm not interested in something, I won't/can't focus on it. It's an attention thing. I transfix on things I'm interested in to the point of obsession and the opposite is true if I'm uninterested. Being rich in a job I hate would basically be nigh-impossible, if not impossible outright.

[#MidwinterShenanigans TWP Chooses #5]

2022 was rather mixed personally for me. The wretched experience of ending up with an E and 2 U's when my best performance as proven by evidence is 2 A*'s and an A in sixth form, and the realization that my entrenched belief that the education system is not fit for purpose was entirely correct, was one of my least pleasant experiences in life. This is beaten only by those 10-11 years of relentless mental/verbal bullying with no help whatsoever, accidental pressure due to apparently having absurd intelligence and the times where I got apprehended simply for defending myself against clots (I can go into detail on this, I and my parents were quite unamused) who wished to interrupt my studying or beat me up for kicks that one time. This bullying occurred for essentially no reason other than my personality, and at the core, me being autistic. I researched my top performance rates and found that it was good enough for Durham University and even some courses as Cambridge University.

On the good end, I was finally able to overcome my past and allow myself to be, well, myself, a moment when I genuinely smiled (actually showed any real emotion) for the first time in months, possibly years, and almost ended up sobbing out of pure joy on the spot. It took the school's equivalent of a mental health clinic and over 1.5 years of the aftermath of said bullying to finally break down that emotional wall of ice that had formed. The big tell was that I was no longer forcing myself to adapt to everyone else, or seeming so cold-hearted (to the point where I became somewhat known for being intimidating in secondary school) and miserable all the time. I'm still cold as ice to almost everyone, but am rather soft around anyone I have an emotional bond with. Instead, it was more of an apathy to everything except myself, my desires and the very few people I cared about who I'd be willing to do next to anything for within logical reason. That, and an overwhelming shyness was being shown on the surface in a very subtle way. After all, I still don't express emotion very much, but now the little I do they are honest and genuine. I've also gained a habit of appearing out of nowhere and scaring people. More changes occurred as well.

There were other good and bad points as well, but the year was dominated by the aspects above. It's hard to tell how 2023 will be. It could be a good year, it could be a bad year. I'll go ahead and say 2022 will be seen as superior by 2023's end.

 

[#MidwinterShenanigans TWP Chooses..#1]

I'd string up only black lights if I could. Black and white as well as black, dark purple and a few other colours work for me too.

[#MidwinterShenanigans TWP Chooses..#2]

I'd go for 10 smaller gifts, as there is a higher chance of me receiving something I like. They'd also actually fit into my dark-yet-soft room which is the smallest of the 3 bedrooms in my house.

[2nd World Cup of Football [rosters, roleplay, results]]

The Stadium Schedule - Beyond The Group Stage

Round of 16 Matches	Stadiums	Entrance Themes
Dalimbar vs. Sospestan	Chelmsford Stadium	On Your Wings
Fujai vs. United Adaikes	Regnar Crown	Killer Queen
Arifiyyah vs. Sekiya	Fortune City Park	Message In A Bottle
Santos-Dominius vs. Hertfordshire & Jammbo	The Gensokyo Arena	Tusk
Cambria vs. Ryxtylopia	The Blizzardfall Stadium	In The Court Of The Crimson King
Nagaraningrad vs. Zoran	Heavenly Host	Gold
Nieubasria vs. Overthinkers	Lunar Prime Park	Who Will Stop The Rain?
Larxia vs. Giovanniland	Jammer Drive	Love Gun

 

Quarter-Final Matches	Stadiums	Entrance Themes
Dalimbar vs. Fujai	The Gensokyo Arena	The Final Countdown
Arifiyyah vs. Santos-Dominius	Lunar Prime Park	Shine On You Crazy Diamond
Cambria vs. Nagaraningrad	Fortune City Park	Speedy Speed Boy
Nieubasria vs. Larxia	Regnar Crown	Lovers Of The World

 

Semi-Final Matches	Stadiums	Entrance Themes
Fujai vs. Arifiyyah	Davenport Jammbo Stadium	Scatman
Cambria vs. Nieubasria	Black Parade Hall	I'm Here

 

3rd-Place Match	Stadiums	Entrance Themes
Fujai vs. Cambria	Glacier Shrine Academy Road	You Spin Me Round

 

Final Match	Stadiums	Entrance Themes
Arifiyyah vs. Nieubasria	Pendulum Trinity	God of War Ragnarök

--------------------------------------------------

                 

[2nd World Cup of Football [rosters, roleplay, results]]

While Hammond and May await Clarkson's inevitable return (and have a beer), the Lustrous find themselves in Pache's library in Gensokyo where the quietness rule is being totally disregarded.

Patchouli K.: I keep telling you Lisa that science is just another form of magic.

Lisa L.: And I keep telling you that'sh nonshenshe.

Ayame K.: Has anyone else noticed Lisa's lisp?

Hyde K.: You noticed it too, ha! Told you so Galeem.

Galeem G.: I really wish I could make you go away right now.

Reichiru I.: Hyde does make me hate talking to him so I'll second that.

Raiko H.: Come on guys, he's really fun to be around.

Business Stig: ... [Shakes head, returns to reading the newspaper]

Hyde K.: Get a load of the businessman over there. Boring, am I right?

Klaus C.: His extreme dedication to his work is what I wish most of you had.

Enrico P.: Must I remind you all that we're in a place of silence?

Karaina C.: Pache doesn't seem to mind.

Chuck G.: That's not for you to decide Karaina. I don't exactly enjoy the eerie quietness of this place anyway. It brings back memories I'd rather not have.

Masamune K.: Hey lighten up Chuck, your daughters in safe hands with Ivo and Sage, why not allow yourself to relax a bit?

Yoshikage K.: If this place would be filled with peace and quiet, I'd be a lot more content.

Natalya H.: Clarkov you selfish prick, can you let other people sit down please?

Clarkov S.: OoOoOo, alright Hall Monitor.

[Clarkov gets off the sofa, that he was basically laying down on like this. He was worrying about the exact specifics of his hair.]

Lits F.: Clarkov, I found the first ever novel of the Monster Girl Encyclopedia series in the aisles over there. Want to come read it with me?

[Clarkov looks up expression unchanging, interested in the idea. Ayame and Promestein both look interested. Most people hope they don't have to join Lits.]

Natalya H.: Do you really think he wants to read such a book?

Hikaru I.: Count me out on this.

Lyubomyr D.: Shut Natalya, I know Clarkov enjoys it deep down.

Suzuno F.: Make that book go away. So Shu, how's the sundae I made? ...Shu?

Shu K.: Brain freeze. It's a thing.

Esmeralda P.: I've scanned the perimeters and disposed of all potential threats.

[Clarkov nods in approval to his sole bodyguard, who kind of just appeared suddenly and decided that was the case, and wonders what Esmeralda means by potential threats.]

Natalya H.: Shu are you alright? You mentioned brain freeze just earlier.

Klaus C.: He'll be fine, what matters more is training for the Round of 16 match.

Brian G.: Klaus is right, we won't be able to have a shot of winning the tournament unless we prepare ourselves for it. So I'll see you all back at The Gensokyo Arena.

Dharkon T.: As long as Galeem sits far far away from me on the coach back.

[Galeem pulls a disgusted look at Dharkon]

Dharkon T.: Ugh, order-obsessed philistine.

Hershel L.: Santos-Dominius is a puzzle just waiting to be solved.

The Stig: ... [Nods in agreement.]

Phi K.: Has my brother been giving you any trouble?

Garmadon G.: None at all.

Raiko H.: On the contrary, he's a riot.

Brian G.: Are any of you coming at a point within the next few minutes?

Brooklyn M.: Why do we need to train? Our natural talent is enough. We're gonna win.

Seiko S.: Thanks Naomi! I'm gonna go butter up my pooper with it real good.

Nagumo H.: What is it with you? Are you in love with that Niedra girl or something?

Stanislava A.: You mean you haven't noticed it? Hey, save some for me!

Hikaru I.: I wish I hadn't heard that sentence.

Enrico P.: The Lord will be merciful this time.

Karaina C.: Pache, how's the magic book going?

[Patchouli without speaking informs the supposed witch that it's going well.]

Enrico P.: There is no magic, only he may have access to such supernatural powers.

Natalya H.: I don't know about that, Slavaria Cossack is quite magical in a way.

Hershel L.: A family born of love. That's what you called it right?

Natalya nods and holds up a group picture with Clarkov, herself, Yevhen, Stanislava, Valentyna, Myroslav, Reichiru, Lyubomyr, Esmeralda, Tess, Kirumi & Karaina in it. Hershel considers another puzzle solved and looks on to the next in store, Santos-Dominius vs. The Youkai.

                 

[2nd World Cup of Football [rosters, roleplay, results]]

The Lustrous/The Youkai - Matchday 4

3^rd Match Injuries <--> 4^th Match Replacements

(Injured in 7^th minute) ->  Lain Vaľhale -> OFF|ON <- Faust Ḩarełeudeiem  (GK)  

(Injured in 71^st minute) ->  Ryosuke Tīrelis -> OFF|ON <- Seiko Skudra  (RD) 

--------------------------------------------------

                 

[2nd World Cup of Football [rosters, roleplay, results]]

Extremely Late Tournament Info

The Stadium Schedule

Group A
Matchday 1	Matchday 2	Matchday 3	Matchday 4	Matchday 5
1 vs 6 | Jammer Drive	2 vs 1 | Jammer Drive	1 vs 3 | Black Parade Hall	4 vs 1 | Pendulum Trinity	1 vs 5 | Pendulum Trinity
2 vs 5 | Black Parade Hall	5 vs 3 | Pendulum Trinity	2 vs 6 | Pendulum Trinity	3 vs 2 | Jammer Drive	4 vs 2 | Black Parade Hall
3 vs 4 | Pendulum Trinity	6 vs 4 | Black Parade Hall	4 vs 5 | Jammer Drive	4 vs 2 | Black Parade Hall	6 vs 3 | Jammer Drive

 

Group B
Matchday 1	Matchday 2	Matchday 3	Matchday 4	Matchday 5
1 vs 6 | The Gensokyo Arena	2 vs 1 | The Gensokyo Arena	1 vs 3 | Heavenly Host	4 vs 1 | Chelmsford Stadium	1 vs 5 | Chelmsford Stadium
2 vs 5 | Heavenly Host	5 vs 3 | Chelmsford Stadium	2 vs 6 | Chelmsford Stadium	3 vs 2 | The Gensokyo Arena	4 vs 2 | Heavenly Host
3 vs 4 | Chelmsford Stadium	6 vs 4 | Heavenly Host	4 vs 5 | The Gensokyo Arena	4 vs 2 | Heavenly Host	6 vs 3 | The Gensokyo Arena

 

Group C
Matchday 1	Matchday 2	Matchday 3	Matchday 4	Matchday 5
1 vs 6 | The Blizzardfall Stadium	2 vs 1 | The Blizzardfall Stadium	1 vs 3 | Lunar Prime Park	4 vs 1 | Glacier Shrine Academy Road	1 vs 5 | Glacier Shrine Academy Road
2 vs 5 | Lunar Prime Park	5 vs 3 | Glacier Shrine Academy Road	2 vs 6 | Glacier Shrine Academy Road	3 vs 2 |The Blizzardfall Stadium	4 vs 2 | Lunar Prime Park
3 vs 4 | Glacier Shrine Academy Road	6 vs 4 | Lunar Prime Park	4 vs 5 | The Blizzardfall Stadium	4 vs 2 | Lunar Prime Park	6 vs 3 | The Blizzardfall Stadium

 

Group D
Matchday 1	Matchday 2	Matchday 3	Matchday 4	Matchday 5
1 vs 6 | Fortune City Park	2 vs 1 | Fortune City Park	1 vs 3 | Davenport Jammbo Stadium	4 vs 1 | Regnar Crown	1 vs 5 | Regnar Crown
2 vs 5 | Davenport Jammbo Stadium	5 vs 3 | Regnar Crown	2 vs 6 | Regnar Crown	3 vs 2 | Fortune City Park	4 vs 2 | Davenport Jammbo Stadium
3 vs 4 | Regnar Crown	6 vs 4 | Davenport Jammbo Stadium	4 vs 5 | Fortune City Park	4 vs 2 | Davenport Jammbo Stadium	6 vs 3 | Fortune City Park

Entrance Themes - Group Stage

Pendulum Trinity -> God of War

Black Parade Hall -> Welcome To The Black Parade

Jammer Drive -> Made In Heaven

Chelmsford Stadium -> Gas Gas Gas

Heavenly Host -> Stayin' Alive

The Gensokyo Arena -> Night of Fire

Glacier Shrine Academy Road -> Forever Young

Lunar Prime Park -> Another Day In Paradise

The Blizzardfall Stadium -> Just What I Needed

Regnar Crown -> Perfectionist

Davenport Jammbo Stadium -> Invisible Touch

Fortune City Park -> Soft and Wet

                 

 

[2nd World Cup of Football [rosters, roleplay, results]]

The Lustrous/The Youkai - Matchday 1-3

ERROR: Matchday 1 was at Jammer Drive.

OOC Note: Match stats are not included, due to not wishing to decide the opponents stats for them. Also enjoy the butchering of the Nagaraningrad team logo.

                 

[2nd World Cup of Football [rosters, roleplay, results]]

The Bauhaus Novel - Conversation Street

The Final Bow

 

 Jeremy Clarkson: So, you may have heard in the news last week that the producer was attacked. So, I am a violent stupid idiot! And aggressive as well.

[Clarkson hides from the producer, who so happens to be The Stig's Vegetarian Cousin.]

 Jeremy Clarkson: I just don't know the parameters of reasonable common sense. But the biggest problem with this c-nt is that I couldn't wait to punch the producer in the face... and now, I have.

[Hammond arrives, having driven there in Oliver.]

 Jeremy Clarkson: Now this caused one hell of a row in the office because we've ruined Conversation Street. The Bauhaus Novel said, I love this, they've said sales won't be affected.

 Richard Hammond: Wha! Um, really? {Sarcasm}

[James May arrives outside in his Panda]

 Richard Hammond: What they're actually saying is 'most of our target audience is old and daft and won't notice'.

 Jeremy Clarkson: And on that bombshell I'm... crossing my fingers, and hoping for the best.

[Jeremy Clarkson runs off and out of the building, James May enters]

 James May: Where's he going?

 Richard Hammond: He's been fired apparently, while I was doing my speech.

 James May: What... actually speaking of speeches that sounded like one of your more successful after dinner speeches.

 Richard Hammond: Do you know it was? Nobody even threw crockery for another minute. Anyway we hope you enjoyed those films and all that remains now is for us to say... thank you for watching.

 James May: Absolutely, thank you very much for watching and... well, goodbye.

 Richard Hammond: Goodbye.

[The extremely short credits played, this time in silence.]

[2nd World Cup of Football [rosters, roleplay, results]]

Hertfordshire and Jammbo Football Federation - Captains Slow

Information 101 - The Lustrous

The official roster for the Hertfordshire and Jammbo Football Federation, for entry into the World Cup of Football/Đe ȩfisl raste av đi Häřtferdsierndeambeu Fűtbočil Fedȩreisn, ćentri ìntú đi Wḙldkapavűtbočil/Нa Афитсиaлeн Списук зa нa Kaтфeдcиe aи Kaнфитьeлук Футбeул Фeдeрeитcиьa, зa влизeин ву нa Cвeтa Kaпe Футбeул

Exceptionally long subtitle is exceptionally long. As long as the hairstyles are inexplicable.

Note: The structure of this roster is based on the 3^rd Rugby World Cup entry and thus will only contain the names and positions of the players. This has been requested by the HNDFF for privacy reasons.

The Style Mod

+2.9

The Checklist - R.P. Permissions

If my opponent RPs first, they may...
Injure my players: Y
Assign my players yellow cards: Y
Assign my players red card: Y
Godmod injuries: N
Godmod scoring: N
Godmod other events: N

                 

[2nd World Cup of Football [rosters, roleplay, results]]

The stadiums of the 1422 Football World Cup

Note: Each stadium will be used 5 times in the group stage. In each 6 team group, 3 members will play 3 "home matches", 1 at each stadium once, and 2 "away matches". The other 3 will do the reverse.

Group A:

1 -> Pendulum Trinity, Harlow, Norsex (Capacity: 26,953) - Home of the Hertfordshire and Jammbo National Team - This stadium will be used for 5 matches in Group A and the Final.

5 -> Black Parade Hall, Great Parndon, Greater Parndon (Capacity: 12,117) - Home of Parndon United (5^th, Anglian Premier League 1421/22)- This stadium will be used for 5 matches in Group A and the 2^nd Semi-Final.

12 -> Jammer Drive, Crawley, Slobodăshire (Capacity: 2,716) - Home of Crawley & Jammbo (23^rd [Relegated], Anglian Championship 1421/22) - This stadium will be used for 5 matches in Group A and the 8^th Round of 16 match.

--------------------------------------------------

 

Group B:

6 -> Chelmsford Stadium, Várpaberény, Greater Varpaber (Capacity: 2,910) - Home of Várpaberény City (6^th, Anglian Premier League 1421/22) - This stadium will be used for 5 matches in Group B and the 1^st Round of 16 match.

10 -> Heavenly Host, Lipobani-upon-Yanview, Sarvaton & Yanview (Capacity: 3,395) - Home of Yanderobani Athletic (9^th, Anglian Championship 1421/22) - This stadium will be used for 5 matches in Group B and the 6^th Round of 16 match.

11 -> The Gensokyo Arena, Gensokyo, South Mihashire (Capacity: 3,395) - Home of Gensokyo Realm (1^st [Champions], Anglian League 1 1421/22) - This stadium will be used for 5 matches in Group B, the 4^th Round of 16 match and the 1^st Quarter-Final.

--------------------------------------------------

 

Group C

3 -> Glacier Shrine Academy Road, Poltragei, Midland (Capacity: 28,783) - Home of Poltragei Town (2^nd, Anglian Premier League 1421/22) - This stadium will be used for 5 matches in Group C and the 3^rd-Place Play-off.

7 -> Lunar Prime Park, Moigidia, Moigidiashire (Capacity: 4,857) - Home of Moigidia Lunar Prime (9^th, Anglian Premier League 1421/22) - This stadium will be used for 5 matches in Group C, the 7^th Round of 16 match and the 2^nd Quarter-Final.

8 -> The Blizzardfall Stadium, Vatriopol, Constellatoshire (Capacity: 1,951) - Home of Vatriopol Town (12^th, Anglian Premier League 1421/22) - This stadium will be used for 5 matches in Group C and the 5^th Round of 16 match.

--------------------------------------------------

 

Group D

2 -> Regnar Crown, Pulsargard, Prememrïto (Capacity: 6,790) - Former home of the Hertfordshire and Jammbo National Team - This stadium will be used for 5 matches in Group D, the 2^nd Round of 16 match and the 4^th Quarter-Final.

4 -> Davenport Jammbo Stadium, Davenport, County Davenport (Capacity: 9,802) - Home of Davenport United (4^th, Anglian Premier League 1421/22) - This stadium will be used for 5 matches in Group D and the 1^st Semi-Final.

9 -> Fortune City Park, Timeston, Kalmshire (Capacity: 4,389) - Home of Timeston Stortford (14^th, Anglian Premier League 1421/22) - This stadium will be used for 5 matches in Group C, the 3^rd Round of 16 match and the 3^rd Quarter-Final.

 

Stadium Locations:

Each stadium location is marked by a black-outlined lavender purple star and a corresponding number. Each region, made up of 4 counties (or 3 in Waveney-Stour Valley), has had 1 location chosen for the tournament.

 

OOC Note: Pay no attention to the words on some of the pictures, the pictures were screenshot from Google Maps.

[2nd World Cup of Football [rosters, roleplay, results]]

The host nation of the 1422 Football World Cup

       

Confederal Kingdom of Hertfordshire and Jammbo

National Information - Under The Light Microscope

Hertfordshire and Jammbo is a mostly ice-covered somewhat elevated nation that lies within the south-eastern corner of Andolia. It borders the Great Pacific Ocean to the south and east, and Zastad to the west. There is no nation that borders it to the north, the closest due in that magnetic direction being Overthinkers. With 3,203,688 citizens living in an area of 129,181mi² Hertfordshire and Jammbo, or Hertfordia as it is informally known, is the third least populated country on the continent ahead of Irador and Cyrylic and the 10th least populated in Esferos outright. It also has a population density of 9.6 people/km² as a result.

A map of the southern continent Andolia. Hertfordshire & Jammbo exists within the time-zones of +0 (Andolian Meridian Time) & +1 (Hertfordian Standard Time).

National Information - Under The Electron Microscope

Hertfordshire and Jammbo has a total of 3 capitals all focused in the northern regions of the country. The executive capital and only city Great Parndon in Greater Parndon, the legislative capital Hoddesdon in Hoddesdonshire and the judicial capital Maidenhall are the three headquarters from where the clockwork of the land carries on. There are ~47 different counties, each with their own local government and county capital, the latter with the exception of Tadmartonshire, on the western coast of Lake Waveney, which is home to a solitary village of 300 people and nothing else.

A map of the counties of Hertfordshire and Jammbo. The triad of capitals are highlighted in red.

National Information - Away From The Microscope

As may have been guessed, Hertfordshire and Jammbo is a confederal kingdom. Founded as such after a peace deal between the Hertfordians and the Jammbonians ended the Hertmeria Wars, it established the system of 'confederal parliamentary elective monarchy'. The Tsar/Tsaress is elected once every 10 years, while the Prime Minister is elected once every 5 years. The current Tsar is Mečislavs Deben, due to contest re-election in 1431 and the current Prime Minister is Clarkov Sahaidachny who is set to attempt a push for a second term in the 1424 general elections. The monarch has powers greater than that of a constitutional monarch, but lesser than that of an absolute monarch.

                 

Tsar Mečislavs Deben I and Prime Minister Clarkov J. Sahaidachny (he usually wears rectangular glasses). Rather infamously, these two both won medals in the Esferiad.

[2nd World Cup of Football Signups & OOC]

The Confederal Kingdom of Hertfordshire and Jammbo has submitted a formal request to participate in the 2nd Football World Cup.

 

Signed

Tsar Mečislavs Deben I

Clarkov Jammbonevych Sahaidachny

[3rd Rugby World Cup [rosters, roleplays, results]]

Away from the palaver of the 3^rd Rugby World Cup, two surprisingly similar national leaders got together for a nice meal and a viewing of the match between their respective nations.

[A collaboration post between myself & @embubbleblue]

 

[Kassakira shuffles across the seats with two hot dogs in her hands]

Kassakira Petrovikan: Excuse me, sorry, thank you!

[She finally reaches her seat, and sits down]

.....................

[Where was the 1m 90cm boy with the ridiculously long black hair & slightly too large kimono?]

Clarkov Sahaidachny: H-hi... I’m right here. Next to the seats.

Kassakira Petrovikan: Hey! Do you want a hot dog? One has onions on, and I have sauce in my pocket if you want it.

Clarkov Sahaidachny: Well I don’t like onions, but I’ll have some sauce please.

[She passes the onion free one, and gets out several packets of tomato sauce, mustard, and mayonnaise]

Kassakira Petrovikan: Enjoy! Also, no hard feelings if you win.

[She smiles]

Clarkov Sahaidachny: None taken, cheers. Although I certainly hope we can. That Larxia defeat still stings.

[He takes the mayonnaise and spreads it over his hot dog, before glancing up at Kass]

[She takes a tomato packet and puts it on her hot dog]

Kassakira Petrovikan: I hope we could win, it would make it easier on my team, but life has its ways of teaching you lessons you never knew you needed. That applies to sports too I suppose.

[She takes a bite, chewing quietly]

Clarkov Sahaidachny: If anyone needs to be brought down a peg in the Esferos sports scene, it’s the nation I lead. Karma probably has something up its sleeve for Star Breaker.

[He takes a large bite, also chewing quietly]

[She laughs]

Kassakira Petrovikan: Your nation is strong. I can only hope mine can show to be as strong.

Clarkov Sahaidachny: Given time, yours may become one of the big players. Or it may even do what mine did and somehow win 2 trophies and a lot of medals inexplicably.

Kassakira Petrovikan: I think we already have done the medals thing. 

[She laughs, scrunching up the napkin of her hot dog]

Clarkov Sahaidachny: Good point there.

[He cleans his mouth with some tissue and nonchalantly throws it into a bin]

Kassakira Petrovikan: Good shot.

[She turns back to the game, as Hertfordshire and Jammbo go into the lead.]

Kassakira Petrovikan: Oh, you're winning early. It's only been 10 minutes.

Clarkov Sahaidachny: We have a habit of either going into an early lead or scoring near the end of the half. Too bad we can’t do conversions for the life of us.

[He notes the scorer and the time on a piece of paper]

[She clocks the action put of the corner of her eye but doesn't turn to look at it]

Kassakira Petrovikan: I understand. What are you writing?

[Her phone goes off and she looks at it, sighing.]

Kassakira Petrovikan: Sorry, I have to take this.

[She picks up, and within moments, groaning into her hands]

Kassakira Petrovikan: Right. Okay. Great. I'll get onto it.

[She hangs up]

Clarkov Sahaidachny: You seem to be needed elsewhere. In that case I shall be going now. Kou and Promestein are meeting me in a minute.

[He readies himself to depart, nervously looking to see if any people are around]

Clarkov Sahaidachny: Please don’t let my presence here go public, I’m already enough of a shy wreck as it is, I don’t need the dysfunctional team of Star Breaker knowing I’m here. Anyway, goodbye. It was a pleasure.

Kassakira Petrovikan: Don't worry. Same here, see you again another time.

[He departs the scene, leaving Kassakira alone.]

 

Thus came to an end the meet-up. It was rather pleasant.

[3rd Rugby World Cup [rosters, roleplays, results]]

The Stig Reads About... Richard Hammond

Richard's Theme - Blast Lab (The intro theme)

 

The Stig: ....... .... ....... ..... .. ......... ..... .. . ........... .. .......... .......... ... ....... .. .... .. .... ... ............. ... .... ... ........ ..... ... .... ..... .... ...... ........ ... ..... ... .... .... .... .....

......... .... ..... .. ..... ............. ..... ....... ... ........ ..... ... ..... .... .. .... .. ... ....... ....... ...... .... ..... ............ .......

Short but sweet entry on the little North Midlander, much like the man himself then. May there be more Stiggy goodness to come. Cheerio!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Häřtferdsierndeambeu) Star Breaker - Matchday 4 Result

Häřtferdsierndeambeu Ragbi - Team Star Breaker vs. Blue Bubble Rugby Team

 Hertfordshire and Jammbo 16-32 Blue Bubble 

 (HEJ 8-8 BLB) 

 

Tries: Dia Mondrushchenko (10'), Richard Hammond (68')

Drop Goals:  Machi Mihailova (17')

Penalties: Takumi Furman (54')

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                  

[3rd Rugby World Cup [rosters, roleplays, results]]

The Bauhaus Novel - Conversation Street: Season 2, Episode 4 - Landmine Purchase

[With the radio debacle over and done with, the intrepid trio are pondering over their cars when Jeremy revealed some suspect explosives from an infamous Polaris nation. This took place before the most recent Star Breaker team update in the timeline]

Jeremy Clarkson: Darkness has fallen and we've finally reached the bottom of the drive.

Richard Hammond: Phew, we made it.

Jeremy Clarkson: Joy of joys!

[2 hours later]

Jeremy Clarkson: It's taken us 2 hours for us to reach the city limits at the top of it.

James May: Welcome to not-Leo Rugiet.

Jeremy Clarkson: Thank you. Here, there are no spare bedrooms so I've decided to try another new sort of tenting.

Richard Hammond: You know what?

James May: What?

Richard Hammond: We started this. I liked all 3 cars. I still do, but my conviction that the Capel is the best is now absolute, I just...

Jeremy Clarkson: [snorts]

James May: I still find it slightly sort of...

Richard Hammond: What?

James May: There's still a slight hint of faux toff-ery about it.

Richard Hammond: Gah?!

James May: It suits you very well obviously, but the great thing about the Oniisan is it's just a finely honed driving instrument.

Richard Hammond: Well no I wo- okay, on the Quatfordring, yours is awesome.

James May: Don't mention the Quatfordring.

Richard Hammond: But that's what it's for James.

James May: No it's not!

Richard Hammond: And Jeremy, your FM. It does look brilliant.

Jeremy Clarkson: There you go.

James May: It's a very competent motor car, the FMW.

Jeremy Clarkson: That's damning with fake praise that is May.

James May: Yes, exactly.

Jeremy Clarkson: Yours is a bit too Dimm & Vesce, yours is a bit too DeltaLand. They're both brilliant cars make no mistake.

Richard Hammond: What are you doing by the way?

Jeremy Clarkson: Landmines, they're mines, I brought them from Dalimbar. Ring our campsite with landmines and any 'aminal' that comes, [mimicks explosion], they will be- it will become a veneer.

[1 laying of landmines later]

Jeremy Clarkson: With my work done, and you two having drunk all the beer, we should turn in for the night.

[That night]

[An explosion is seen and heard in a flash of light]

Richard Hammond: What was that?!

Jeremy Clarkson: That was the sound of me saving your life.

[The next morning]

Richard Hammond: Our campsite looks like an abattoir.

[Hammond spots a body part on the ground]

Richard Hammond: What's this?

Jeremy Clarkson: Lion's arm.

Richard Hammond: It's hairy.

Jeremy Clarkson: Lions do have hairy arms.

James May: They don't even have arms.

Jeremy Clarkson: They do! That was a lion who was coming to eat us! And my landmine saved our lives.

James May [sarcastically]: Look what we've got here Hammond, it's a lions foot.

[May picks up a human foot]

Richard Hammond: You've detonated an innocent person.

Jeremy Clarkson: Let's not get bogged down with who blew up...

 

Maybe we should get bogged down with the fact that someone has been detonated by Clarkson's landmine. Hopefully it wasn't anyone important...

We think we may need to run. Goodbye for now!

 

                  

[3rd Rugby World Cup [rosters, roleplays, results]]

[On the way to the stadium where the match with Blue Bubble was to be played, the Star Breaker decided to get their minds off the shock hammering by Larxia and discuss some things that have been on their minds.]

[a dull silence fills the air]

.......

[the dull silence continues to fill the air]

................

Lits Fílaktri: A hill would be nice right about now.

.......................

Takumi Furman: Okay I admit it, this is boring.

Gankyou Kostova: Can something happen now?

Naho Sotirova: Hmm, why not pull over and check the internet?

Niko Balodis: You're the one who said people who believe everything they see on the internet are 'f-cking dumbasses'.

Naho Sotirova: I stand by that.

Diego Adamov: I fail to see the relevance Niko.

Patrick Manev: I'm pulling over then.

[The Star Breaker - Rugby version - pulled over and checked the news.]

Chihiro Freimanis: Um, so we're here.

Seiya Nikolov: The stadium is just down north then. That is helpful.

Hyouka Felteke [pops up from underneath Chara]: I need you to confirm something.

Chara Dreimanis: Hyouka, I'm not helping you with your experiments on 'body-melding'.

Embry Obalkanska: Not this again...

Hyouka Felteke: It's not that this time. It's a report concerning the Santo-Dominian team.

Mizore Savenko: That's the team with the insane reporter and overbearing bureaucrat.

Ongo Sidopliassova: *unintelligible* [translation: Could I see that please?]

Hyouka Felteke: Alright, here.

Ongo Sidopliassova: [slight gasp]

Machi Mihailova: Did you find something?

[Ongo shows everyone the news regarding the Zoran/Santos-Dominius match]

Harold McGavrilov V: Woah.

Ougi Ostrovske: Don't be daft, that didn't happen.

[Ongo facepalms and shakes his head in disbelief]

Yoshikage Kramlis: It clearly happened, it's right in front of you.

Naho Sotirova: You know it's real, stop lying.

Ougi Ostrovske: I have, I'm trying to get past it!

Naho Sotirova: You really make yourself look like an idiot sometimes.

Embry Obalkanska: It says here that the Santo-Dominian team were unable to enter the stadium because it was blocked by a mob of Zoranians. They're furious with Blubberman.

Chihiro Freimanis: I don't blame them. He's not very nice.

Harold McGavrilov V: He's the only reporter with any sense in this tournament.

[The rest of the team all glance at Harold]

Harold McGavrilov V: What?

Niko Balodis: Forget it.

Damian Haat: So the SDCSN are at the centre of this?

Mizore Savenko: Yeah.

Damian Haat: Understood Mizore.

Takumi Furman: Can we go now? I need to deliver this stuff.

Nagisa Ivanovaulait: Alright alright, we'll go.

Lits Filaktri: So ladies, when your 'phylactery' is broken...

Mizore Savenko: Oh no.

Origami Tsvetanova: I don't like where this is going.

Patrick Manev: Brace for verbal impact!

Lits Fílaktri: ...your usual comportment vanishes without a trace. With your husband's every motion, you writhe and moan in pleasure.

Diego Adamov: Objection! Don't go any further, this is only you who thinks this.

Lits Fílaktri: In this state, you can only think of your husban-

Richard Hammond: Please just stop talking completely now.

[Everyone looks over in surprise to find Hammond and May, returned at last from their stint on the radio]

Lits Fílaktri: I'm just trying to show the other girls that the enigmatic desire and pleasure are what the ultimate happiness consists of. 

Richard Hammond: All you've accomplished is horrifying them and everyone else!

Ougi Ostrovske: Your studies will be why your breasts are so massive, I'm guessing.

Lits Fílaktri: My boobs are natural. I'm very proud of them.

Ougi Ostrovske: Go figure.

Lits Fílaktri: I'll tell you what the best 'spirit energy' is too.

Richard Hammond: Save it!

Galatea Sahaidachny: I don't mind talking about it. I've read something similar to that with my son.  

Richard Hammond: ...Yeah... so, what's going on?

Origami Tsvetanova: Oh, hi you two. And... who is that?

Promestein Paskaleva: I'm Promestein. The one who gave the humans in my area fire.

Damian Haat: Just the humans?

Promestein Paskaleva: Yes. Their thirst for knowledge is incredible, so I introduced them to fire to help them along.

Stanislava Artemenko: How primitive are these people where you're from?!

Promestein Paskaleva: Very. But that doesn't mean anything to them. It's quite admirable really.

Lits Fílaktri: I like this lady already.

Krux Andersons: I hesitate to call that good news. Oh to hell with it, it's bad news.

James May: Oi, get in the cars you idle sods!

Takumi Furman: You heard him, come on.

Promestein Paskaleva: I'll tell you more about my studies while we're driving.

Lits Fílaktri: Sounds good! As for my studies, I'll have to just convince you all another time. It's not like I'll ever stop trying.

Promestein Paskaleva: Yes.

Almost Everyone Else Present: No!!!

Ongo Sidopliassova [at same time as the above]: *gibberish* [translation: No!!!]

 

[Kou 'Kibiki' Kovalenko heard all that. He shouldn't keep his student waiting. But now he truly knows why Star Breaker is the most dysfunctional team in the tournament. Let's face it, it's by quite a margin.]

[3rd Rugby World Cup [rosters, roleplays, results]]

The Stig Reads About... Himself?

Some Say...

The Stig:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ERROR 404 - STIG EPISODE NOT FOUND

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, we know nothing about The Stig. He's an enigma and always will be. The end. Maybe next episode we'll get back to his normal wisdom. Goodbye!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Häřtferdsierndeambeu) Star Breaker - Matchday 3 Result

Rugby Larxia vs. Häřtferdsierndeambeu Ragbi - Team Star Breaker

 Larxia 17-3 Hertfordshire and Jammbo 

 (LAR 10-3 HEJ) 

 

Drop Goals: Yoshikage Kramlis (20')

 

Injuries: Julian Kanzën (71')

Substitutions: Julian Kanzën | OFF - ON | Embry Obalkanska (72')

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                  

 

[3rd Rugby World Cup [rosters, roleplays, results]]

The Bauhaus Novel - Conversation Street: Season 2, Episode 3 - That's Not Gone Well

[Welcome back to Bauhaus Radio!]

Jeremy Clarkson: Hello. Uh, is that me?

Richard Hammond: That's... that was slick.

[outside the radio room]

Sakuya Ileva: It's time for another of Jeremy's rubbish travel reports.

[inside the radio room]

Jeremy Clarkson: Oh no, look!

James May: Look at that, look at that!

Jeremy Clarkson: Somebody, here we go. Somebody in a, it seems to be a 4x4, has jack-knifed while carrying a trailer. Now it's a 4x4, it's a good job it was, that's why he's still alive, lucky he didn't listen to the Fujansk on that one. 2 outer lanes of the motorway have the police out in them because they've been blocked by an idiot in an SUV who's managed to crash into his own trailer. Um and people are moving over far too soon which means the motorway network is not being fully utilized. You paid for it, drive right up to the crash.

James May: Use it!

Jeremy Clarkson: Use it, and then get your window down and tell the man exactly what you think of his driving.

Richard Hammond: Precisely.

Jeremy Clarkson: Oh no, what we've got here is a travel flash actually. Uh, my thank to Julian Kanzën, uh he tells us that in Leo Rugiet a caravan has come adrift of a car blocking the one lane, the police are in attendance. Police, are you armed? I hope they are, they can take it out and just shoot the drive-

Richard Hammond: Thank you very much, that's the travel with Jeremy Clarkson.

Jeremy Clarkson: [wheezing laugh]

[outside the radio room]

Dia Mondrushchenko: Even I can see the show is pretty bad.

Sekkekkyuu 'AE3803': And now it's about to get worse.

Faust Ḩarełeudeiem: Hammond's mistimed a trip to the loo and while he's in there, a song's finished.

[inside the radio room... and the lavatory]

Jeremy Clarkson: Hello? Is that...? Is there somebody there? Is anybody there?

Richard Hammond [whispering]: Hurry up!

Jeremy Clarkson: Hello?

Richard Hammond: Come on!

James May: What?

Another Jingle: 2, 4, 6, 8, James May! [The JM Radio Jingle]

Jeremy Clarkson: Oh-.

Richard Hammond: What?!

Another Jingle's Female Voice [same time as Male Voice] : ...Jaaammmeeesss Maaaaaaaaay.

Another Jingle's Male Voice [same time as Female Voice]: ......Jaaammmeeesss Maaaaaay.

[outside the radio room]

Sekkekkyuu 'AE3803': He's forgotten he's going out live.

[inside the radio room]

Jeremy Clarkson: Well he's ginger and he's Cambrian... -kay...

Richard Hammond: Okay...

[outside the radio room]

Siite Fineistje: And now they're upsetting the sports reporter Faust.

[inside the radio room]

Faust Ḩarełeudeiem: 1-1 the latest score between the Beyblade teams of Star Breaker & Slavaria Cossack.

[Hammond turns on the jingle by accident (The JC Radio Jingle)]

The Jingle: I've been driving in my car listening to Jeremy Clarkson.

Faust Ḩarełeudeiem [over the jingle]: The final match in will be between the substitutes of each team, Damian's slightly obsessive older sister Lenae and the Genki Girl Stanislava.

Richard Hammond: Sorry! Sorry, that happens.

James May: 1-1, is that good? I don't understand.

Faust Ḩarełeudeiem: My team has 1 point and they've lost 1 point to Slavaria, sir. It is Beyblade.

Richard Hammond: He's angry!

Faust Ḩarełeudeiem: It's a game that has been played in Hertfordshire and Jammbo for over 300 years.

Richard Hammond: What, the same game?

Faust Ḩarełeudeiem: Then you need to get the observers book of Beyblade which will tell you all the regulations you need to know and then you will be okay. And now-

[Hammond turns on the jingle, on purpose this time, to stop Faust from berating May like that]

Richard Hammond [faking]: Heh, sorry.

The Jingle: I've been driving in my car listening to Jeremy Clarkson.

Jeremy Clarkson: Worse still, my traffic system really isn't working out as planned. The cameras are not able to give enough detail so my reports are becoming... a little vague.

Richard Hammond: Jeremy, go.

Jeremy Clarkson: It's all completely hopeless! Everywhere I can see people in hatchbacks, the motorway- Marelitus is jammed up at junction 6, Divando is- don't use it! Don't use it, stay at work, be productive and buy a helicopter.

James May: It's not particularly helpful what you're telling them there.

Richard Hammond: No.

Jeremy Clarkson: I'll therefore decide to personalise my reports.

Damian Haat [on the radio]: Hello there.

Richard Hammond: Hello how are you?

Damian Haat [on the radio]: Um, bit fed up 'cause I can't work out where I'm supposed to be turning off the motorway or not. We're trying to get to the H&J-Blue Bubble match tonight!

Jeremy Clarkson: Where- where are you? So you're going?

Damian Haat [on the radio]: I'm going anti-clockwise.

Jeremy Clarkson: Anti-clockwise? You, my son, have had it.

Damian Haat [sarcastically, on the radio]: Oh thanks a lot.

Jeremy Clarkson: Just! I'm screwing it up.

[outside the radio room]

Siite Fineistje: With Jeremy's traffic system ruined, they're running out of things to say.

[inside the radio room]

James May: If you use a jet wash, should the bonger on each cycle go off at the end of the cycle or in the middle? If the bonger goes off at the end of the foamy brush cycle and you've only done the bonnet, you've had it.

Jeremy Clarkson: The switchboard's beginning to light up with angry listeners, one of them whom was called Galatea Sahaidachny.

Richard Hammond: Hello Galatea!

Galatea Sahaidachny [on the radio]: I came back from seeing Clarkov at 17:00 and what a load of rubbish this is and I think it's absolutely dreadful. I've been a listener to you three for a number of years. For god's sake, bring that old reporter back and all the rest of them. It's all a load of rubbish, thank you and goodnight!

[outside the radio room]

Sekkekkyuu 'AE3803': What's going on and why are they packing up?

Dia Mondrushchenko: With the locals ready to lynch them, they've decided to get out early.

[inside the radio room]

[It Has To Be This Way [Instrumental] plays]

Jeremy Clarkson: This is a 2 minute 55 second song. By the time it's over, our shows over, we could be- do you wanna walk through Leo Rugiet after the show we just did?!

James May: I've got the car round back.

Richard Hammond: I was thinking about the door.

[The trio flee the radio room past the other 5]

Jeremy Clarkson: By the time this is over, we can be...

James May: The car'll be round the back. Go go, no, just go down there, down the stairs!

Richard Hammond: Sorry!

James May: Down to the left.

Jeremy Clarkson: Down to here.

James May: Yeah.

Richard Hammond: Run!

Jeremy Clarkson: I'm going!

Richard Hammond: Sorry.

[The trio flee the radio station entirely]

[The song finishes]

 

We are not surprised it turned out this way, but would we have it any other way? No. Not at all.

This has been Bauhaus Radio with Conversation Street, time for us to replace the 'Radio' with 'Novel' once more.

If this wasn't your reaction, what were you watching?

 

                  

[3rd Rugby World Cup [rosters, roleplays, results]]

The Bauhaus Novel - Conversation Street: Season 2, Episode 2 - The Radio Of Chat, in the Nation of Debate

[The continuation of Local Bumblers Radio. Let's find out what the disaster embracing team managed to do in control of one of Zoran's main radio stations]

[Hammond accidentally puts a tune on.]

Richard Hammond: That shouldn't have happened.

[Dia puts both hands on her cheeks on exasperation and because of finding it funny]

Richard Hammond: I'm gonna fade it out and then you're gonna talk.

[The music ends, an awkward silence ensues]

Jeremy Clarkson: Right, errrm...............

Richard Hammond: [wheezes in laughter]

Jeremy Clarkson: Um...

Richard Hammond: Is that it? Is that your intro?

James May: Ah!

Richard Hammond: Can I just say good afternoon, this is still the local radio station.

[Outside the radio room]

Siite Fineistje: They aren't what you'd call slick, Sekkekkyuu.

Sekkekkyuu 'AE3803': Give them time!

[Inside the radio room]

Richard Hammond: Can I do the weather?

James May: Yeah.

Richard Hammond: Uh, I've lost it. Have you got the headlines?

Jeremy Clarkson: Yeah.

Richard Hammond: I haven't got any.

Jeremy Clarkson: Yeah... no you do them.

Richard Hammond: I haven't got any headlines.

[Outside the radio room]

Sakuya Ileva: And the jingles Richard has brought along are dreadful.

[Inside the radio room]

[A jingle begins playing - The jingle Richard made]

Richard Hammond: See what you think of this one lads, it's great.

The Jingle: I've been driving in my car listening to Jeremy Clarkson.

[The jingle ends]

Jeremy Clarkson: How much did you spend making those?

Richard Hammond: 5 Deltas a pop.

Jeremy Clarkson: No matter, we will redeem ourselves with my new, brilliant and extremely complicated traffic system. What I've done here is I've fixed up, er, a link between the Zoranian road authorities so I can see all the traffic cameras from all the motorways in the region. Now what's happening is we've got an outside broadcast truck in Marelitus, that's firing its signal up to a satellite 22,000 miles in space back down to a truck in New Zoradia, they're filing it over to our radio station in Leo Rugiet and here we are in the studio looking, and if I can swing the camera round now we can get it off the main pictures, I can even zoom in.

[Outside the radio room]

Faust Ḩarełeudeiem: With full control of the cameras Jeremy can reveal his big plan.

[Inside the radio room]

Jeremy Clarkson: Instead of telling you where the traffic jams are, I am going to give you the registration number of the car that has caused it.

[Outside the radio room]

Dia Mondrushchenko: So, he's not just reporting on the traffic, he's bossing it about.

[Inside the radio room]

Jeremy Clarkson: Now who's this exac- coming down in the van? You're leaving a 200 yard gap there, now close up!

[Outside the radio room]

Faust Ḩarełeudeiem: While Jeremy is shouting at the traffic, James and Richard are getting to grips with the music.

[Inside the radio room]

James May: No don't tell me. As promised earlier it's 'Frightening Power of Nemesis'.

Richard Hammond: Oh you sprung that on me rather. Do you wanna do that again James?

James May: As promised earlier it's 'Frightening Power of Nemesis'.

Richard Hammond: Maybe just once more for me mate.

James May: Just play something else.

Richard Hammond: Oh alright.

[Rago's Theme 2 - Frightening Power of Nemesis plays]

James May: Oh its right!

Richard Hammond: Heheheh, yeah!

James May: He has no idea.

Richard Hammond: Yeah, you see. Um, I'd just like to apologise.

[Rather ominously, the Black Sun Cult leader and destroyer of other nation's sports teams Rago stands in the background]

 

Unfortunately at that moment the feed cut off again, albeit this time it was because Sekkekkyuu had managed to get lost within the halls of the radio station. Her sense of direction rivals James May's. Thus we depart once more.

Some say he wants you to draw him like one of your Markian nobles, and that he was born inside the explosion from a Dalimbari landmine. All we know is he's called the Stig! This is the Bauhaus Novel, we bid you all a temporary farewell.

 

                  

[3rd Rugby World Cup [rosters, roleplays, results]]

The Stig Reads About... Damian

Damian's Theme - Gates of Hell (The intro theme)

The Stig: ...... .... .... ..... .. ...... .. ... .. ... .... ....... .. ... ............. ... ...... ........ ......

.. .. ... ....... .. .... .... ........ . ........ .... .... ........... ... ...... .. ........ .. ... ........ ..... .............. ..... ... ... ... .... ..... .. ..... ....... ........ ...... .. ... .. ... ......... ....... .. ... ...... ...... ......... ... ....... ..... .. ............ .... .. ... .......... .. ... .. ........ ... ........ ... ........ ....... ... ........... ...... ......... .. ..... ....

.. ... . ........ ... ...... ...... .. ...... ... .... ...... .. .... ... .......... .... ... .... ... ....... .. ...... .. ..... .. ... ..... .. ... ......... ... ....... .. .... .... ....... ... ... ... ........... ... ... ........ .. ..... .....

...... .. . ...... .... ....... ... .... .... ........... ...... ......... .. ... ... .... .... .... ...... .. .. ... .... .. ... .... .... . ...... .... .... ..... .... .. ... ....... .. ... ....... .... .... ... .... ..........

.. ..... . ..... ..... ...... .... ......... ... ...... .. . ... ...... ... ..... ... ..... .... ...... .... ...... ........ ..... .... .... ....... .. .... ..... . ..... .... ... ..... .......... ...... .... ... ....... .. ... .... ..... .......

...... ... ..... .......... .... ... ......... .. .... .. . ......... ......... ......... ........ ... ........... ....... .. ...... .. .... . ...... ....... ....... .......... .... ... .... .... .. ...... .. ......... .... .. .......... .... ... ...... .... ..... .... ....... .. .... .....

...... ......... . ...... ......... ......... ..... ..... ........ ... .. . ...... .. .. .... ... ... ..... .... .. .... ............ .... ...... .. .... .. ...... ... .... .......

 

Thanks for listening. Return again in 2 days time for a soothing lesson from our enigma.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Häřtferdsierndeambeu) Star Breaker - Matchday 2 Result

Häřtferdsierndeambeu Ragbi - Team Star Breaker vs. Equipa Nacionala Giovannilandiana de Rugbio

 Hertfordshire and Jammbo 19-0 Giovanniland 

 (HEJ 8-0 GIO) 

Tries: Nagisa Ivanovaulait (38'), Naho Sotirova (50')

Penalties: Julian Kanzën (23')

Drop Goals: Damian Haat (58'), Chihiro Freimanis (71')

 

Injuries: Rococo Uradulov (60')

Substitutions: Rococo Uradulov | OFF - ON | James May (61')

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Key (for present and future reference):

Winning Team - Losing Team

(Winning Team at Half-Time - Losing Team at Half-Time)

Drawing Team - Drawing Team

(Drawing Team at Half-Time - Drawing Team at Half-Time)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                  

[3rd Rugby World Cup [rosters, roleplays, results]]

[The following footage took place before the complete hammering dished out to Giovanniland. Good thing Chihiro caught the whole thing on tape.]

[Inside a courtroom, the Star Breaker crew were debating on the origins of the coffee Diego always seems to drink. The mood almost went the way of the coffee itself, that is, bitter.]

Ougi Ostrovske: Who even serves Diego coffee when he's on trial?

Diego Adamov: A coffee maker obviously. I don't see why this keeps being asked.

Gankyou Kostova: It's hardly obvious, Godot.

Chihiro Freimanis: Um guys, I don't think he goes by that anymore.

Krux Andersons: He'll always be that in my head.

Galatea Sahaidachny: Stuck in the past as always, Krux.

Takumi Furman: This is why Acronix is better than you.

Krux Andersons: I wish my brother was here, despite how insufferable he can be sometimes.

Diego Adamov: I'm moving this on.

Harold McGavrilov V: This reminds me of the relationship Clarkson, Hammond & May have.

Stanislava Artemenko: Vitriolic best buds?

Harold McGavrilov V: Yes.

Machi Mihailova: They're brothers, not friends Stani.

Hyouka Felteke: Stanislava said that only that Slavaria group were allowed to call here that.

Stanislava Artemenko: Yep, I did.

Embry Obalkanska: What's Slavaria?

Naho Sotirova: That time with the basement has really messed with your memory.

Seiya Nikolov: I had heard something about that. Didn't really believe it.

Embry Obalkanska: It happened. It was mental torture, having to essentially take care of a deranged basement monster that had my parents for lunch.

Yoshikage Kramlis: You mean 'cannibal'.

Lits Fílaktri: You mean 'Embry'.

Chara Dreimanis: Whatever!

Stanislava Artemenko: Anyway, Slavaria is the teenage friend/lovers group I'm in. There's 8 people in it, including Sahaidachny.

Machi Mihailova: Galatea?

Galatea Sahaidachny: She means my son.

Rococo Uradulov: Clarkov?!

Nagisa Ivanovaulait: I was not expecting him to have friends.

Stanislava Artemenko: Lovers too.

Hyouka Felteke: Slavaria Cossack is a self-chosen harem friend group in all but title.

Stanislava Artemenko: That's right! Clarkov is the newest member, we kind of dragged him in against his will but he's become used to us. You can guess why we took notice of that boy yourselves.

Damian Haat: But how the hell did you get him of all people to join your group?

Stanislava Artemenko: Me and the others - Natalya, Yevhen, Valentyna, Myroslav, Reichiru and Lyubomyr - wanted him to open up to us about what he was actually feeling underneath that ice-covered shell. I'm happy to say it worked.

Takumi Furman: Did it though? He's still pretty emotionless.

Origami Tsvetanova: I'm guessing you haven't heard of the Dandere trope.

Rococo Uradulov: The what trope?

Origami Tsvetanova: A person who appears emotionless and cold on the outside but is actually incredibly shy on the inside.

Stanislava Artemenko: Describes him well, so does Kuudere which actually does mean 'cold'. He's a mama's boy too. Rather clingy, and highly protective of the very few who have managed to get close to him.

Galatea Sahaidachny: I owe that to being his mentor alongside being his mum.

Naho Sotirova: How he got where he is now with your mentoring I'll never know.

Galatea Sahaidachny: I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.

Naho Sotirova: It's an insult you thieving hack.

Galatea Sahaidachny: I stole nothing from Kou!

Damian Haat: Back off, Naho. I may be Jammbonevych's main rival, but I'm willing to defend Galatea in this case.

Stanislava Artemenko: That's because her son is your secret crush.

Damian Haat: The teasing isn't funny!

Stanislava Artemenko: Come on, it was hilarious!

Naho Sotirova: He's my main rival actually, so go fish.

Niko Balodis: I don't mean to be rude, but you're kind of a cheap rip-off.

Naho Sotirova: I was first. If anything, Jammbonevych is the rip-off.

Niko Balodis: Oh right.

Julian Kanzën: You really need to up your game Niko.

Origami Tsvetanova: Julian, you're near the top in almost everything you do, everyone needs to up their game compared to you.

Harold McGavrilov V: This is all starting to feel like something out of one of those manga or anime from back home.

Ougi Ostrovske: It does, and just like in many of those fictional tales, not all is as it seems right now.

Yoshikage Kramlis: You saying that reassures me that this is going to remain a normal conversation.

Chihiro Freimanis: I'm not sure.

Julian Kanzën: Woah, stop worrying Chihiro. Ougi's entire identity is built on lies so we should be fine.

Ougi Ostrovske: Is it though?

Patrick Manev: We all know it. Your misleading skills don't work on us.

[suddenly, Mizore appears from behind a wall, followed by Ongo.]

Seiya Nikolov: What the?!

Lits Fílaktri: I knew she'd be around here somewhere.

Mizore Savenko: I was listening to the whole thing.

Ongo Sidopliassova: *unintelligible gibberish*

Patrick Manev: I don't speak in random sounds, is Ongo confirming what Mizore said?

Ongo Sidopliassova: *nods*

Chara Dreimanis: But where did you come from?!

Mizore Savenko: Over there. [gestures to the wall nearby.] It's my 340^th peeping spot.

Lits Fílaktri: Let me get this straight, you count the places you stalk from.

Mizore Savenko: I do.

Yoshikage Kramlis: There goes my hope of a normal and quiet conversation.

Nagisa Ivanovaulait: [glances at Ougi]

Ougi Ostrovske: Told you.

Diego Adamov: I need a coffee.

[A cup of coffee, Godot Blend #12, slides out of nowhere into Diego's hand on the desk. Ougi flashes a smug smirk to rival Clarkson.]

 

[With the coffee cup sliding in, the thought to be ended debate on where the team captain gets his coffee reignited, as a flabbergasted Kou 'Kibiki' Kovalenko watched from the distance trying to wrap his head around the inner workings of the team known as Star Breaker.]

[3rd Rugby World Cup [rosters, roleplays, results]]

The Stig Reads About... Julian

Julian's Theme - The Emperor (The intro theme)

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Thanks for listening. Come back in 2 days time for another enlightening tale from... whatever The Stig even is. We're aren't sure.