WTF News: Issue #7

[Westwind]

Westwind Telegraph Frontline News

WTF News date: 25 April 2013
Issue # 7

A periodic publication of reports from around NationStates.
WTF News is a public service of Westwind.

*Neither Westwind, All Good People, associated puppet nations, nor the The West Pacific take any credit or responsibility for the opinions expressed herein. All implied contracts are meaningless because they were written by NS Law Students. Nazi sympathizers will be contaminated by nanobots when reading this issue, and promptly assimilated. Published by permission of The Universe. Long live individual sovereignty.

Recommended by Dr. Mom...Do you know where your mother is? Proceed at your own risk.

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Issue #1 Klingons from The West Pacific
(Imperium Offices, TWP)

 

 

A new flag is flying over The West Pacific, with the symbol of the Klingon Empire blazoned upon the TWP sun.  Citizens were curious of the sight, but soon news leaked out.

While a sign reading "TWP Klingon Imperial Diplomatic Corp" was being installed at the TWP Foreign Affairs Ministry, an unnamed functionary told reporters, "In The South Pacific, RMB participants have described TWP as 'the Klingon Empire' and TWP is proud of the description from those that refuse to comprehend that NationStates is a game.  A game where players make use of game mechanics to achieve their individual and collective goals. Nations ignore game mechanics at their own peril."

How long will the TWP Klingon Empire flag fly?  We don't know, however it is true that Delegate Wickedly evil people is 14 endorsements above Delegate Designate All Good People at the time of this writing.  Will the new Delegate change the flag?  'No comment' was the only response from the Delegate Designate, as a nation that claimed, "Hey that looks like a Nazi symbol" was quickly hurried away for enlightenment and chocolate therapy.

 

Meanwhile, TAO has praised The South Pacific for it's stong anti-marsupial stance, which is fully endorsed by the Wickedly Evil Chocolate Alliance of TWP.  (WECA would like to remind everyone that a Darkesian Chocolate uniform will be custom made for all that sign-up. No uniform in NS could be sweeter.)

 

TWP Guardian Bhang Bhang Duc was seen pointing at the television news reports from the TSP RMB saying, "Look! There are the Anarchic Peasants!"

 

And now for something completely different....

 

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Issue #2 Gateville Booze Wagon Gone Missing!
(Gatesville/TWP/TSP and places inbetween)

 

 

While visiting The South Pacific, Grand Poobah Gates was overheard, " I'm also hunting down some of The West Pacific officials who were visiting Gatesville INC. on a diplomatic mission, they know who they are. After their departure it seems like the Gatesville INC. booze wagon is missing and I need to find it before they drink it dry."

 

While TWP officials claimed innocence in the matter, these Guinness glasses filled with with a fine Darkesian Chocolate Mousse was found after following a trail of chocolate wrappers.

 

WTF News wishes Gates the best of luck in the recovery of the Gatesville booze wagon. *hic*

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As always, only the finest data bits were sacrificed in the transporting of this data packet. 
All data bits have been blessed by the Sanctus Vermiculus Ordinem. Amen.

"Time's up" says The Watchmaker

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Copyright 2013, Westwind of All Good People.  Better people, Better Food, and Better Beer.
The difference between the Heavenly Dream and the God Awful Reality.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

I know nothing about any Guinness, nothing I tells ye.

[Darkesia]

*remains staunchly noncommittal*

[God-Emperor]

Those Guinness glass sundaes look friggin' delicious.

[Powerboat_Racer]

Since I just joined the governmental hierarchy and have no furniture in my office yet, I cannot be the perpetrator of such a heinous crime

[Intelligent Holograms]

*Notices a wagon parked around the corner*

 

It wasn't a gift?

[Powerboat_Racer]

Look Kiddo, my idea of a wagon is a Bugatti Veyron, Lamborghini Aventador or a Ferrari 458 Italia...I don't deal in slow arsed horse pulled wagons

[God-Emperor]

What 'bout a carriage?

[Powerboat_Racer]

A carriage would be a Boeing 747-8I VIP aircraft

 

<In case no one has noticed, I do have expensive tastes in my modes of transportation >

[God-Emperor]

We noticed.

[Tweedy]

 

A new flag is flying over The West Pacific, with the symbol of the Klingon Empire blazoned upon the TWP sun.  Citizens were curious of the sight, but soon news leaked out.

While a sign reading "TWP Klingon Imperial Diplomatic Corp" was being installed at the TWP Foreign Affairs Ministry, an unnamed functionary told reporters, "In The South Pacific, RMB participants have described TWP as 'the Klingon Empire' and TWP is proud of the description from those that refuse to comprehend that NationStates is a game.  A game where players make use of game mechanics to achieve their individual and collective goals. Nations ignore game mechanics at their own peril."

 

If TWP is officially neutral regarding affairs in The South Pacific, why are we reacting to a statement made from a member of The South Pacific by changing our traditional flag by placing  a Klingon icon on top of it?

[Eli]

We'll change it back at some point. We're making fun of the over emotional babble coming from certain members of the South Pacific Oligarchy