iOctagon

Exclusive Interview with SDNEC Chairman D. Delarue-Brouillard
"Hello, everyone! From Kharventin, Blue Bubble, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! Some of you eagle-eyed viewers may have noticed that SDCSN Channel 3 is now under the purview of SDCSN Sports. Anyways, our coverage of the II Summer Esferiad is brought to you by our generous sponsor, 15th Century Cat! It's the film company whose only realistic claim to fame is its logo and parodies of it! I, the utterly unqualified non-journalist that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your intentionally clumsy host for the entire duration of the II Summer Esferiad."
"And today, we have a very special guest with us here on SDCSN Channel 3. It's the man who's behind the rapid growth of Santos-Dominius' Esferiad team, and also the man behind Santos-Dominius' Esferiad strategy! Please welcome to our programme Mr Damian Delarue-Brouillard, founder and incumbent chairman of the Santo-Dominian National Esferiad Commitee(SDNEC)! It's great to have you here on our programme, Mr Delarue-Brouillard."
"Thank you, Approctoflecticus. I'm honoured to be invited onto this programme."
"Now, let us dive straight into the interview. Firstly, what do you make of Team SD's performance so far?"
"Well that's a good question, Approctoflecticus. Of course, I think that Team SD has done wonderfully. It is our country's first-ever Esferiad after all, and our athletes are already adjusting nicely to the demands and requirements of competing in the big leagues. We may not be the best-performing nation as of right now, but I place complete faith in our talented Esferians to bring more medals home and make us all proud."
"Mr Delarue-Brouillard, I've heard some of my fellow colleagues at SDCSN Channel 3 say that your SDNEC came up with a strategy for the Esferiad. Is there such a strategy, and if so, what is it?"
"Well, there is a strategy that my colleagues and I developed. That is true. Back when we were submitting the list of participants to the organisers, we attempted to participate strategically in the Esferiad. Given Santos-Dominius' fascination with water sports and our geographical location in the Yatasail Sea, I figured that our athletes would perform very well in aquatics and other similar water sports. So most of our athletes competed in those kinds of sports."
"Ah! I understand. Now that you explained it, the whole situation does make more sense now. Unfortunately, however, some of my colleagues have suggested that this strategy actually harmed Team SD's chances as we put too many eggs into one basket. A lot of our athletes tried their best but ultimately failed to win medals for our country. Mr Delarue-Brouillard, what is your response and reaction to these suggestions and statements?"
"I think they're not really true. The relationship between the coordinated Esferiad strategy and our athletes' performance is simply correlation, not causation. Moreover, the Esferiad is not all about medals! It's about celebrating sports in general and fostering friendship and sportsmanship. Our Esferiad athletes don't have to win medals to show how good, how passionate and how dedicated they are. Glory can be achieved without having to win recognition for your efforts."
"Good words for everyone at home to think about while watching this, Mr Delarue-Brouillard. Well, before this interview, my colleagues from SDCSN Channel 3 asked members of the public as well as our viewers to submit questions for you via an online form or social media platforms. One of those questions, asked by a Mrs Jessica James, concerns the size of Santos-Dominius' Esferiad delegation. Her question is: 'Santos-Dominius sent around 40 athletes this year, and we've not participated in many events. Will the SDNEC send more people to compete in more events next time?' Mr Delarue-Brouillard, what's your answer?"
"Definitely. Yes, we will of course send more athletes to participate in the next Esferiad. We will dispatch an even bigger delegation to join in the fun. Santos-Dominius will only aim for ever greater heights - the sky's our only limit!"
"Thank you, Mr Delarue-Brouillard. I suspect Mrs James will be very pleased with that answer. Anyways, that's all that we have time for. Thank you, Mr Delarue-Brouillard, for joining us on our programme and providing answers to our questions and those of our viewers. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and a recap of Day 4 results will be aired later in the day, so don't change the channel! Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of the Esferiad, and see you whenever stuff happens!"

Time: 3:00 pm
Location: A private jet, Kopai International Airport, Blue Bubble
A man dressed in a suit, shirt and tie walks down the aisle of a large private jet. He knocks on a door at the end of the aisle as he scratches his well-groomed mustache. On the door is a golden sign engraved with the words "Carnet Goldberg, First Granddaughter of Santos-Dominius".
"Lady Carnet, it's time for you to get up. Your scheduled meeting with the Honourable Ms Kassankira Petrovikan, the Glenpavian Mpitarika, begins in 45 minutes. We must depart for Kharventhin as soon as possible if we are to arrive at the Duchy Estate on time."
As the man waits patiently, a stifled yawn of annoyance erupts from behind the door.
"Who is it that asks for my attention?" An feminine and elegant yet authoritative voice rings out from behind the door. "How impudent of you to disturb and awaken me from my slumber."
"Pardon me, Lady Carnet," the well-dressed man replies, "it is I, Mr Servyle, your personal butler."
"Ah, Mr Servyle. I presume you are here to remind me of my duties of the day?" Carnet conveys a hint of disapproval. "How yawn-inducing. Alas, I have no choice. Prepare my costume and the limousine. Depart at once when I am dressed and seated."
-About 40 minutes later-
Location: Inside the limousine, Driveway to the Duchy Estate, Blue Bubble
"We will soon arrive at the Duchy Estate, Lady Carnet," Mr Servyle reports.
"What a bother," Carnet complains. "Grandfather really should have come here instead of me. I do hope that these fellow leaders will provide me at least a tiny bit of entertainment."
"Your grandfather, the President, has instructed me to remind you that you are to be on your best behaviour today," Mr Servyle remarks. "He specifically warns you not to yawn or show any sign of disrespect or boredom in front of the dignitaries. You must greet your peers with grace and poise, while maintaining appropriate personal boundaries and acting with utmost decorum. And as much as you may be tempted, you must not say your catchphrase 'don't bore me' to any of the dignitaries. They are not entertainers who are there just to serve you."
Silence ensues in the limousine.
"Mr President's aides have prepared for you a list of predetermined topics you can use to initiate conversation with your peers with more ease," Mr Servyle rambles on. "When in doubt, always stick to the list and do not stray from it."
No response comes from Carnet.
"...Lady Carnet? Did you hear what I said?" Mr Servyle asks.
The silence continues.
Mr Servyle sees Carnet leaning on her seat with her head facing the back of the limousine. He gets up, moves carefully to the seat in front of her, and looks at her. She is soundly and emotionlessly asleep. Mr Servyle's eyebrows come down and together as he lets out a silenced sigh.
"Oh, I do worry for you, Lady Carnet..."

October 27th, 1421
Mario: Welcome viewers to Day 3 of the Esferiad news. Today we will cover the happenings in the Esferiads over in Quoriv and Kharventhin, as Larxia managed to win another 2 medals, once again a gold and a bronze. I will pass it over to Natasha Diaz, who will bring you news from Quoriv. Over to you Nat.
Natasha: Thanks Mario. Hello viewers, welcome back to Quoriv, as our athletes duke it out against athletes from all over the Esferos for the prestigious Esferiad medals. In the 100 m Run, athletes Florence Carter, Chris Davies and Paula Pryce managed to qualify for the semi-finals, which saw the elimination of Pryce, as Davies and Carter made it into the finals. Both of them finished at the exact second, finishing at 11.01, but Davies was unlucky, as he was a tad bit late than Carter, missing out narrowly on a Bronze, or maybe even a joint bronze. High Jump athletes Dani Levante and Austin McMop, both qualified for the finals, but they weren't able to finish in the top three. Tennis! Tennis is where it was a good for Larxia. Tennis Start Rafael Nodial went all the way and won a well-deserved gold in the Tennis Singles Event. Emma Williams also came close to glory of her own as she barely lost to United Adaikes' Lacey John. In Baseball, Larxia handily defeated Fuentana 10 runs to 6 as Larxia go top of Group B. There was no Basketball match for Larxia today, as this was a rest day for the Larxian team. That is all there is to report in Quoriv. Back to you Mario.
Mario: Thank you Natasha. In other exciting news surrounding the Esferiads and Larxia, the leader of Blue Bubble, Mpatrika Kassakira Petrovikan has invited nation leaders from across the world, and give them an opportunity to network with other powerful people. King James is said to be attending the meeting along with his brother, Prince Dominic. Other leaders who are expected to attend the meeting in Kharventhin are Santo-Dominian heiress, Carnot Golberg, Hertfordians leaders Presizent Clarksov and Mecislaaves of Doben, Giobannilangian PM Amore Gilbrek and Prince Marsarius of Saint Mars. Tank you bery mush, I'll now pazz id ova to Zami.
Jamie: Are you okay Mario? Well, thanks anyways. I'll be taking over for the news for Kharventhin. Larxia had an average time here in Kharventhin. Marta Diaz our very own Nat's sister, managed to qualify for the finals of the 200 m Backstroke, but lost a medal position by 40 seconds finishing behind 3rd placed Ethel Merman from Saint Mark. In case of Trap Shooting, there was no Larxian representation in the finals of the event. The Water Polo team had a good day in the office as they beat the team from Teralyon 10-6, making their way to the 2nd spot in Group B. It was a day of rest for the beach volleyball duo of Garcia and Velasco, as the other 4 teams in the group battled it out today. That was all for the results of Day 3 in Kharventhin, though i believe tomorrow there will be a lot more to report on tomorrow as the leaders will sit down for a formal meeting in the Duchy Estate here in Kharventhin. Back to you Mario.
Mario:....
Mario:....
Jamie: Mario!?
Mario: Yezz, dank you fo zoining, wel see you later.

The Bauhaus Novel - Conversation Street - Episode 6: Ascendance Jammbo

Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: ... [looks emotionless & cold, is actually very nervous & shy... & cold]
Mečislavs Deben: Clarkov, we're live.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: Oh! Er, h-hi, welcome to this episode of The, erm, Bauhaus Novel which is named after the half of Hertfordshire & Jammbo where me & the Tsar hail from.
Mečislavs Deben: Yes that's right, you thought there wouldn't be an episode 6 but it was us! So, Jammbonevych, care to do the honours? I know how much you love this.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: Sure, cheers. It is now time to put out the fire of agreement, on the car bomb of debate, and cordon away the horrific scene from social interaction on Conversation Street.

The ever lovable Conversation Street jingle plays while Hammond spews out a liquid like some kind of fountain or a gentleman's pork sword.
Mečislavs Deben: Sorry. Hah, eh, so sorry.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: That's the best thing that's going to come out of this show.
Mečislavs Deben: Hahahahaaa, ouch! Also, Furutani, how dirty is your mind?!
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: I see no issue here.
Mečislavs Deben: Don't think I didn't notice your little sly edit on the screen, I have access to that too you know.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: Like I said, I see no issue here. It's not like it hinders me from my duty as Prime Minister.
Mečislavs Deben: Moving on!
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: Right, now you may be wandering why the Tsar & Prime Minister have commandeered this series out of nowhere. Well, I wanted to have a go at hosting it, so there's your answer.
Mečislavs Deben: I'm intrigued as to what the trio had to go and do for them to try and fail (because of us two) to cancel episode 6.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: Actually thanks to Kramer we have live camera footage of the good (Hammond), the bad (Clarkson) & the slow (May) and we can reveal what exactly they're getting up to.
Mečislavs Deben: This ought to be good.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: It better be.
(The scene switches from the news room to somewhere in Karventhin, where the ruling duo are reporting from)
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Mečislavs Deben: This is Karventhin Train Station at rush hour and well they've handcuffed themselves to a bus.
Jeremy Clarkson: False statistics ruin 48 events a week!
Richard Hammond: BBEK burns planets!
Jeremy Clarkson: Utter rubbish coming out of the back of that group is enough to fill the Great Pacific Ocean every 3 weeks!
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: So they're angry at the BBEK for... reasons.
Mečislavs Deben: Probably because the BBEK claimed they would be average.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: Ah yes, to be honest I'm rather miffed about that as well.
Mečislavs Deben: Petrovikan probably is too, but I don't know.
James May: What do we want?!
Jeremy Clarkson: Dalimbari landmines!
James May: When do we want it?!
Richard Hammond: As soon as we can arrange easy finance!
Jeremy Clarkson: Well as soon as the signatures...
Mečislavs Deben: Yeah, we have no hope of receiving those. Dalimbar probably doesn't even consider our land as a real place. It's beyond heathen level.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: National self-deprecation, I love it.
Mečislavs Deben: You know you're weird right?
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: Yes, I'm weird and I'm proud of that.
Mečislavs Deben: OK.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: Oh, looks like they've chained themselves to another bus that conveniently blocked them from view.
Jeremy Clarkson: My cold dead fingers will have to be prized from this bus!
James May: The only way I'm leaving this bus is without this arm.
Richard Hammond: Once in a man's life...
James May: You've just got to do the right thing.
Jeremy Clarkson: You've got to stand up and say 'what a load of...'
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(The scene switches back to the news room to somewhere in Karventhin, where the ruling duo are reporting from)
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: I draw attention to the fuzzy handcuffs. I'm guessing they came out of James' dungeon?
Mečislavs Deben: They were probably from his special occasions drawer.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: Along with leather tights, a belt, a cowboy hat, a tin of spam, a carbon-fibre-ended shoe horn & a 16 year old Bovril beef drink with added slippery egg white. Oh and a model train for good measure.
Mečislavs Deben: I thought that was your drawer?
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: What? No!
Mečislavs Deben: Wait really?
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: No, mine is the one full of the piles of cartoon & anime style AB/DL & Age Regression drawings I look at online in my free time. I do have a model train though.
Mečislavs Deben: I wish I hadn't asked.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: Anyhow, would you like to talk about the blunders in our names that the Larxian reporter made?
Mečislavs Deben: Wait, you actually asked that? I have to say great job on improving your confidence in asserting what you want.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: I, er... ehm... appreciate it.
Mečislavs Deben: Take your time, process what happened.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: [sighs] Cheers Deben. I do try.
Mečislavs Deben: You're doing a fine job. We both know that an important part of being the Hertfordian/Jammbian Prime Minister is self-improvement.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: That we do.
Mečislavs Deben: Back to the street of conversation, we turned down Review Avenue earlier, I would not like to talk about it. That Mario man has royally peeved me off and I do not mean that as a pun.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: In that case then...
Mečislavs Deben: Are you worried about the leader meet-up?
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: Yeah to be honest I am. I'm already atrocious around people in general unless I've warmed up to them which only you, my family and maybe a few HNJEK athletes and government staff can lay claim to. I also want to go so I can prove myself as someone worthy of both commanding a nation and representing it in the Esferiad.
Mečislavs Deben: I know from experience how hard it is to get you to warm up to someone. I imagine you at maximum warmness to be clingy and even yandere-esque to that one person you warm up to in that manner. Also, you won gold last time so you have nothing to worry about on the Esferiad front okay. You and me both earned our place in the HNJEK fairly, don't let anyone tell you or me otherwise.
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: Alright, I see. That is correct, we did earn our places here and I won't let that be forgotten. I vow to perform the best I can and aim for Javelin Throw gold once more. On the other point, that would be a realistic depiction of me if such a situation ever arose, I do think. I'm the sort of guy who will be completely cold to everyone but then super clingy to one specific person, whether it be mentor figure, crush, even a fellow national leader though the latter has a chance of next to zero. Not sure on the yandere-esque part as you're claiming though.
Mečislavs Deben: Shall we return to the topic?
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: Yes we shall. I already struggle astronomically with people in general. It's worse this time round because it is a meet-up of national leaders. Petrovikan, Dominic, Carnet, Salazar, Nazhim, Giovanni, freaking Marcarius(!) and more are all going to be there.
Mečislavs Deben: It's okay Furutani, I'll help you get accustomed to the dignitaries and then leave you to your own devices. We can talk about Conversation Street, how other countries are doing with autism acceptance, personality theory and all that. Does that sound good?
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: Cheers, I know I don't ever say this but this sort of thing does mean a lot to me.
Mečislavs Deben: Anytime, it's the least I could do as His Majesty the Tsar of Hertfordshire & Jammbo. Now then, shall we go?
Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: Yeah, let me just quickly put the event schedule for Day 5 up. We can let Kramer perform the athlete analysis later in the events.
Day 5 Event Schedule
Events/Ívents Athletes/Àølīts 200m Butterfly Swimming Sentinel "Prime" Putniņš, Samson Myroshnychenko, Shuichi Salmiņš 1,500m Track Afuro Tytarenko, Judai Yakymchuk, Tommy Venev Field Long Jump Mamoru Endziņš, Yuuto Kreslīns Equestrian Individual Jumping Jolyne Cishisheva, Miko Tymchuk Park Skateboarding Seiko Skudra, Chihiro Freimanis Tennis Doubles Stage 1 Dio Burluka + Faust Ḩarełeudeiem, Sakuya Ivanova + Kaguya Hadjiivanovasan Baseball Matchday 5 Hertfordia Baseball Beach Volleyball Matchday 5 Frisk Dachev + Robert Spïďwagen Water Polo Matchday 5 Hertfordshire & Jammbo Water Polo Team Basketball Matchday 5 Hertfordia Basketball Handball Matchday 1 Hertfordia Handball Federation Lacrosse Matchday 1 Hertfordia Lacrosse  
The pair, with Jammbonevych Furutani reassured, left the station and got into their very own luxury car that they themselves own (no security firm here) and left for the leader meet-up. As for the trio of hosts, they ended up running away. Perhaps they should leave protests to the professionals. Now we say goodbye. Some say we are dead but the Tsar is too afraid to tell us, and that we can open a portable news station with our testes. All we know is, we're going to the Verkhovna Anglia now to look in Clarkov's special occasions drawer and that we're the HNJEK. Goodnight!
         

Exclusive Interview with SDNEC Chairman D. Delarue-Brouillard
"Hello, everyone! From Kharventin, Blue Bubble, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! Some of you eagle-eyed viewers may have noticed that SDCSN Channel 3 is now under the purview of SDCSN Sports. Anyways, our coverage of the II Summer Esferiad is brought to you by our generous sponsor, 15th Century Cat! It's the film company whose only realistic claim to fame is its logo and parodies of it! I, the utterly unqualified non-journalist that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your intentionally clumsy host for the entire duration of the II Summer Esferiad."
"And today, we have a very special guest with us here on SDCSN Channel 3. It's the man who's behind the rapid growth of Santos-Dominius' Esferiad team, and also the man behind Santos-Dominius' Esferiad strategy! Please welcome to our programme Mr Damian Delarue-Brouillard, founder and incumbent chairman of the Santo-Dominian National Esferiad Commitee(SDNEC)! It's great to have you here on our programme, Mr Delarue-Brouillard."
"Thank you, Approctoflecticus. I'm honoured to be invited onto this programme."
"Now, let us dive straight into the interview. Firstly, what do you make of Team SD's performance so far?"
"Well that's a good question, Approctoflecticus. Of course, I think that Team SD has done wonderfully. It is our country's first-ever Esferiad after all, and our athletes are already adjusting nicely to the demands and requirements of competing in the big leagues. We may not be the best-performing nation as of right now, but I place complete faith in our talented Esferians to bring more medals home and make us all proud."
"Mr Delarue-Brouillard, I've heard some of my fellow colleagues at SDCSN Channel 3 say that your SDNEC came up with a strategy for the Esferiad. Is there such a strategy, and if so, what is it?"
"Well, there is a strategy that my colleagues and I developed. That is true. Back when we were submitting the list of participants to the organisers, we attempted to participate strategically in the Esferiad. Given Santos-Dominius' fascination with water sports and our geographical location in the Yatasail Sea, I figured that our athletes would perform very well in aquatics and other similar water sports. So most of our athletes competed in those kinds of sports."
"Ah! I understand. Now that you explained it, the whole situation does make more sense now. Unfortunately, however, some of my colleagues have suggested that this strategy actually harmed Team SD's chances as we put too many eggs into one basket. A lot of our athletes tried their best but ultimately failed to win medals for our country. Mr Delarue-Brouillard, what is your response and reaction to these suggestions and statements?"
"I think they're not really true. The relationship between the coordinated Esferiad strategy and our athletes' performance is simply correlation, not causation. Moreover, the Esferiad is not all about medals! It's about celebrating sports in general and fostering friendship and sportsmanship. Our Esferiad athletes don't have to win medals to show how good, how passionate and how dedicated they are. Glory can be achieved without having to win recognition for your efforts."
"Good words for everyone at home to think about while watching this, Mr Delarue-Brouillard. Well, before this interview, my colleagues from SDCSN Channel 3 asked members of the public as well as our viewers to submit questions for you via an online form or social media platforms. One of those questions, asked by a Mrs Jessica James, concerns the size of Santos-Dominius' Esferiad delegation. Her question is: 'Santos-Dominius sent around 40 athletes this year, and we've not participated in many events. Will the SDNEC send more people to compete in more events next time?' Mr Delarue-Brouillard, what's your answer?"
"Definitely. Yes, we will of course send more athletes to participate in the next Esferiad. We will dispatch an even bigger delegation to join in the fun. Santos-Dominius will only aim for ever greater heights - the sky's our only limit!"
"Thank you, Mr Delarue-Brouillard. I suspect Mrs James will be very pleased with that answer. Anyways, that's all that we have time for. Thank you, Mr Delarue-Brouillard, for joining us on our programme and providing answers to our questions and those of our viewers. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and a recap of Day 4 results will be aired later in the day, so don't change the channel! Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of the Esferiad, and see you whenever stuff happens!"

Exclusive Interview with SDNEC Chairman D. Delarue-Brouillard
"Hello, everyone! From Kharventin, Blue Bubble, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! Some of you eagle-eyed viewers may have noticed that SDCSN Channel 3 is now under the purview of SDCSN Sports. Anyways, our coverage of the II Summer Esferiad is brought to you by our generous sponsor, 15th Century Cat! It's the film company whose only realistic claim to fame is its logo and parodies of it! I, the utterly unqualified non-journalist that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your intentionally clumsy host for the entire duration of the II Summer Esferiad."
"And today, we have a very special guest with us here on SDCSN Channel 3. It's the man who's behind the rapid growth of Santos-Dominius' Esferiad team, and also the man behind Santos-Dominius' Esferiad strategy! Please welcome to our programme Mr Damian Delarue-Brouillard, founder and incumbent chairman of the Santo-Dominian National Esferiad Commitee(SDNEC)! It's great to have you here on our programme, Mr Delarue-Brouillard."
"Thank you, Approctoflecticus. I'm honoured to be invited onto this programme."
"Now, let us dive straight into the interview. Firstly, what do you make of Team SD's performance so far?"
"Well that's a good question, Approctoflecticus. Of course, I think that Team SD has done wonderfully. It is our country's first-ever Esferiad after all, and our athletes are already adjusting nicely to the demands and requirements of competing in the big leagues. We may not be the best-performing nation as of right now, but I place complete faith in our talented Esferians to bring more medals home and make us all proud."
"Mr Delarue-Brouillard, I've heard some of my fellow colleagues at SDCSN Channel 3 say that your SDNEC came up with a strategy for the Esferiad. Is there such a strategy, and if so, what is it?"
"Well, there is a strategy that my colleagues and I developed. That is true. Back when we were submitting the list of participants to the organisers, we attempted to participate strategically in the Esferiad. Given Santos-Dominius' fascination with water sports and our geographical location in the Yatasail Sea, I figured that our athletes would perform very well in aquatics and other similar water sports. So most of our athletes competed in those kinds of sports."
"Ah! I understand. Now that you explained it, the whole situation does make more sense now. Unfortunately, however, some of my colleagues have suggested that this strategy actually harmed Team SD's chances as we put too many eggs into one basket. A lot of our athletes tried their best but ultimately failed to win medals for our country. Mr Delarue-Brouillard, what is your response and reaction to these suggestions and statements?"
"I think they're not really true. The relationship between the coordinated Esferiad strategy and our athletes' performance is simply correlation, not causation. Moreover, the Esferiad is not all about medals! It's about celebrating sports in general and fostering friendship and sportsmanship. Our Esferiad athletes don't have to win medals to show how good, how passionate and how dedicated they are. Glory can be achieved without having to win recognition for your efforts."
"Good words for everyone at home to think about while watching this, Mr Delarue-Brouillard. Well, before this interview, my colleagues from SDCSN Channel 3 asked members of the public as well as our viewers to submit questions for you via an online form or social media platforms. One of those questions, asked by a Mrs Jessica James, concerns the size of Santos-Dominius' Esferiad delegation. Her question is: 'Santos-Dominius sent around 40 athletes this year, and we've not participated in many events. Will the SDNEC send more people to compete in more events next time?' Mr Delarue-Brouillard, what's your answer?"
"Definitely. Yes, we will of course send more athletes to participate in the next Esferiad. We will dispatch an even bigger delegation to join in the fun. Santos-Dominius will only aim for ever greater heights - the sky's our only limit!"
"Thank you, Mr Delarue-Brouillard. I suspect Mrs James will be very pleased with that answer. Anyways, that's all that we have time for. Thank you, Mr Delarue-Brouillard, for joining us on our programme and providing answers to our questions and those of our viewers. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and a recap of Day 4 results will be aired later in the day, so don't change the channel! Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of the Esferiad, and see you whenever stuff happens!"

Exclusive Interview with SDNEC Chairman D. Delarue-Brouillard
"Hello, everyone! From Kharventin, Blue Bubble, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! Some of you eagle-eyed viewers may have noticed that SDCSN Channel 3 is now under the purview of SDCSN Sports. Anyways, our coverage of the II Summer Esferiad is brought to you by our generous sponsor, 15th Century Cat! It's the film company whose only realistic claim to fame is its logo and parodies of it! I, the utterly unqualified non-journalist that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your intentionally clumsy host for the entire duration of the II Summer Esferiad."
"And today, we have a very special guest with us here on SDCSN Channel 3. It's the man who's behind the rapid growth of Santos-Dominius' Esferiad team, and also the man behind Santos-Dominius' Esferiad strategy! Please welcome to our programme Mr Damian Delarue-Brouillard, founder and incumbent chairman of the Santo-Dominian National Esferiad Commitee(SDNEC)! It's great to have you here on our programme, Mr Delarue-Brouillard."
"Thank you, Approctoflecticus. I'm honoured to be invited onto this programme."
"Now, let us dive straight into the interview. Firstly, what do you make of Team SD's performance so far?"
"Well that's a good question, Approctoflecticus. Of course, I think that Team SD has done wonderfully. It is our country's first-ever Esferiad after all, and our athletes are already adjusting nicely to the demands and requirements of competing in the big leagues. We may not be the best-performing nation as of right now, but I place complete faith in our talented Esferians to bring more medals home and make us all proud."
"Mr Delarue-Brouillard, I've heard some of my fellow colleagues at SDCSN Channel 3 say that your SDNEC came up with a strategy for the Esferiad. Is there such a strategy, and if so, what is it?"
"Well, there is a strategy that my colleagues and I developed. That is true. Back when we were submitting the list of participants to the organisers, we attempted to participate strategically in the Esferiad. Given Santos-Dominius' fascination with water sports and our geographical location in the Yatasail Sea, I figured that our athletes would perform very well in aquatics and other similar water sports. So most of our athletes competed in those kinds of sports."
"Ah! I understand. Now that you explained it, the whole situation does make more sense now. Unfortunately, however, some of my colleagues have suggested that this strategy actually harmed Team SD's chances as we put too many eggs into one basket. A lot of our athletes tried their best but ultimately failed to win medals for our country. Mr Delarue-Brouillard, what is your response and reaction to these suggestions and statements?"
"I think they're not really true. The relationship between the coordinated Esferiad strategy and our athletes' performance is simply correlation, not causation. Moreover, the Esferiad is not all about medals! It's about celebrating sports in general and fostering friendship and sportsmanship. Our Esferiad athletes don't have to win medals to show how good, how passionate and how dedicated they are. Glory can be achieved without having to win recognition for your efforts."
"Good words for everyone at home to think about while watching this, Mr Delarue-Brouillard. Well, before this interview, my colleagues from SDCSN Channel 3 asked members of the public as well as our viewers to submit questions for you via an online form or social media platforms. One of those questions, asked by a Mrs Jessica James, concerns the size of Santos-Dominius' Esferiad delegation. Her question is: 'Santos-Dominius sent around 40 athletes this year, and we've not participated in many events. Will the SDNEC send more people to compete in more events next time?' Mr Delarue-Brouillard, what's your answer?"
"Definitely. Yes, we will of course send more athletes to participate in the next Esferiad. We will dispatch an even bigger delegation to join in the fun. Santos-Dominius will only aim for ever greater heights - the sky's our only limit!"
"Thank you, Mr Delarue-Brouillard. I suspect Mrs James will be very pleased with that answer. Anyways, that's all that we have time for. Thank you, Mr Delarue-Brouillard, for joining us on our programme and providing answers to our questions and those of our viewers. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and a recap of Day 4 results will be aired later in the day, so don't change the channel! Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of the Esferiad, and see you whenever stuff happens!"

II Summer Esferiad - Day 3 Recap with A. Blubberman
"Hello, everyone! From Kharventin, Blue Bubble, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! Our coverage of the II Summer Esferiad is brought to you by our generous sponsor, Pricey Pharmaceuticals! It's the major pharma company that cannot stop profiting obscenely from selling human survival! I, the B-rate personality that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your habitually conceited host for the entire duration of the entire duration of the II Summer Esferiad!"
"And now we go straight to covering the results for Day 3! In 200m Backstroke heats, Santo-Dominian swimmers Friedrich Obertssohn and Connie Rodriguez qualified, while peers Emma Beckerbrand and Adam Smithson were sadly eliminated from contention. Obertssohn and Rodriguez also qualified during the semifinals, but finished in 8th and 6th place respectively in the finals. Although Team SD didn't win, great effort to Friedrich and Connie - they really tried their very best for our country!"
"It was Match Day 3 for Water Polo today, but Team Santos-Dominius had no matches in that event today. And that's it - that's the results for all the events Team SD was involved in today! Let's go straight to looking at the medal table. Unfortunately, despite Obertssohn and Rodriguez's great performance, Team SD won no medals today and therefore our total medal count of 2 remains unchanged. We have 1 gold, no silvers and 1 bronze. Co-hosting nation Blue Bubble has pulled even further ahead of the competition, staying at the top of the medal table with 5 golds, 7 silvers and 6 bronzes for a total medal count of 18!"
"In a distant second is the perpetually moody Andolian nation of Hertfordia, with 4 golds, 1 silver and 2 bronzes for a total of 7 medals. Hertfordia shares 2nd place with Nieubasria at 2 golds, 3 silvers and 2 bronzes, and also with Saint Mark at 1 gold, 2 silvers and 4 bronzes. The Glenpavians are really excelling in home conditions - let's see if they'll be able to keep this up, or if the Hertfordians, Nieubasrians or Saint Markians can pull off a spectacular comeback."
"And that wraps up today's coverage! Our exclusive interview with Mr Damian Delarue-Brouillard, chairman of the Santo-Dominian National Esferiad Committee(SDNEC), will be aired later. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been great to see our athletes and swimmers throw themselves wholeheartedly into the Esferiad's numerous and multifarious events. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of the Esferiad, and see you whenever stuff happens!"

II Summer Esferiad - Day 3 Recap with A. Blubberman
"Hello, everyone! From Kharventin, Blue Bubble, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! Our coverage of the II Summer Esferiad is brought to you by our generous sponsor, Pricey Pharmaceuticals! It's the major pharma company that cannot stop profiting obscenely from selling human survival! I, the B-rate personality that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your habitually conceited host for the entire duration of the entire duration of the II Summer Esferiad!"
"And now we go straight to covering the results for Day 3! In 200m Backstroke heats, Santo-Dominian swimmers Friedrich Obertssohn and Connie Rodriguez qualified, while peers Emma Beckerbrand and Adam Smithson were sadly eliminated from contention. Obertssohn and Rodriguez also qualified during the semifinals, but finished in 8th and 6th place respectively in the finals. Although Team SD didn't win, great effort to Friedrich and Connie - they really tried their very best for our country!"
"It was Match Day 3 for Water Polo today, but Team Santos-Dominius had no matches in that event today. And that's it - that's the results for all the events Team SD was involved in today! Let's go straight to looking at the medal table. Unfortunately, despite Obertssohn and Rodriguez's great performance, Team SD won no medals today and therefore our total medal count of 2 remains unchanged. We have 1 gold, no silvers and 1 bronze. Co-hosting nation Blue Bubble has pulled even further ahead of the competition, staying at the top of the medal table with 5 golds, 7 silvers and 6 bronzes for a total medal count of 18!"
"In a distant second is the perpetually moody Andolian nation of Hertfordia, with 4 golds, 1 silver and 2 bronzes for a total of 7 medals. Hertfordia shares 2nd place with Nieubasria at 2 golds, 3 silvers and 2 bronzes, and also with Saint Mark at 1 gold, 2 silvers and 4 bronzes. The Glenpavians are really excelling in home conditions - let's see if they'll be able to keep this up, or if the Hertfordians, Nieubasrians or Saint Markians can pull off a spectacular comeback."
"And that wraps up today's coverage! Our exclusive interview with Mr Damian Delarue-Brouillard, chairman of the Santo-Dominian National Esferiad Committee(SDNEC), will be aired later. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been great to see our athletes and swimmers throw themselves wholeheartedly into the Esferiad's numerous and multifarious events. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of the Esferiad, and see you whenever stuff happens!"

II Summer Esferiad - Day 3 Recap with A. Blubberman
"Hello, everyone! From Kharventin, Blue Bubble, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! Our coverage of the II Summer Esferiad is brought to you by our generous sponsor, Pricey Pharmaceuticals! It's the major pharma company that cannot stop profiting obscenely from selling human survival! I, the B-rate personality that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your habitually conceited host for the entire duration of the entire duration of the II Summer Esferiad!"
"And now we go straight to covering the results for Day 3! In 200m Backstroke heats, Santo-Dominian swimmers Friedrich Obertssohn and Connie Rodriguez qualified, while peers Emma Beckerbrand and Adam Smithson were sadly eliminated from contention. Obertssohn and Rodriguez also qualified during the semifinals, but finished in 8th and 6th place respectively in the finals. Although Team SD didn't win, great effort to Friedrich and Connie - they really tried their very best for our country!"
"It was Match Day 3 for Water Polo today, but Team Santos-Dominius had no matches in that event today. And that's it - that's the results for all the events Team SD was involved in today! Let's go straight to looking at the medal table. Unfortunately, despite Obertssohn and Rodriguez's great performance, Team SD won no medals today and therefore our total medal count of 2 remains unchanged. We have 1 gold, no silvers and 1 bronze. Co-hosting nation Blue Bubble has pulled even further ahead of the competition, staying at the top of the medal table with 5 golds, 7 silvers and 6 bronzes for a total medal count of 18!"
"In a distant second is the perpetually moody Andolian nation of Hertfordia, with 4 golds, 1 silver and 2 bronzes for a total of 7 medals. Hertfordia shares 2nd place with Nieubasria at 2 golds, 3 silvers and 2 bronzes, and also with Saint Mark at 1 gold, 2 silvers and 4 bronzes. The Glenpavians are really excelling in home conditions - let's see if they'll be able to keep this up, or if the Hertfordians, Nieubasrians or Saint Markians can pull off a spectacular comeback."
"And that wraps up today's coverage! Our exclusive interview with Mr Damian Delarue-Brouillard, chairman of the Santo-Dominian National Esferiad Committee(SDNEC), will be aired later. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been great to see our athletes and swimmers throw themselves wholeheartedly into the Esferiad's numerous and multifarious events. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of the Esferiad, and see you whenever stuff happens!"

II Summer Esferiad - Day 3 Recap with A. Blubberman
"Hello, everyone! From Kharventin, Blue Bubble, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! Our coverage of the II Summer Esferiad is brought to you by our generous sponsor, Pricey Pharmaceuticals! It's the major pharma company that cannot stop profiting obscenely from selling human survival! I, the B-rate personality that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your habitually conceited host for the entire duration of the entire duration of the II Summer Esferiad!"
"And now we go straight to covering the results for Day 3! In 200m Backstroke heats, Santo-Dominian swimmers Friedrich Obertssohn and Connie Rodriguez qualified, while peers Emma Beckerbrand and Adam Smithson were sadly eliminated from contention. Obertssohn and Rodriguez also qualified during the semifinals, but finished in 8th and 6th place respectively in the finals. Although Team SD didn't win, great effort to Friedrich and Connie - they really tried their very best for our country!"
"It was Match Day 3 for Water Polo today, but Team Santos-Dominius had no matches in that event today. And that's it - that's the results for all the events Team SD was involved in today! Let's go straight to looking at the medal table. Unfortunately, despite Obertssohn and Rodriguez's great performance, Team SD won no medals today and therefore our total medal count of 2 remains unchanged. We have 1 gold, no silvers and 1 bronze. Co-hosting nation Blue Bubble has pulled even further ahead of the competition, staying at the top of the medal table with 5 golds, 7 silvers and 6 bronzes for a total medal count of 18!"
"In a distant second is the perpetually moody Andolian nation of Hertfordia, with 4 golds, 1 silver and 2 bronzes for a total of 7 medals. Hertfordia shares 2nd place with Nieubasria at 2 golds, 3 silvers and 2 bronzes, and also with Saint Mark at 1 gold, 2 silvers and 4 bronzes. The Glenpavians are really excelling in home conditions - let's see if they'll be able to keep this up, or if the Hertfordians, Nieubasrians or Saint Markians can pull off a spectacular comeback."
"And that wraps up today's coverage! Our exclusive interview with Mr Damian Delarue-Brouillard, chairman of the Santo-Dominian National Esferiad Committee(SDNEC), will be aired later. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been great to see our athletes and swimmers throw themselves wholeheartedly into the Esferiad's numerous and multifarious events. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of the Esferiad, and see you whenever stuff happens!"

"Hello, everyone! From Kharventin, Blue Bubble, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! Our coverage of the II Summer Esferiad is brought to you by our generous sponsor, WHAT Telecom! It's the telecommunications giant with a recurring appearance in every old man and woman's night terrors, because literally nobody knows what 5G is! I, the morally dubious clown that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your appropriately unpleasant host for the entire duration of the II Summer Esferiad!"
"And we now go straight to covering the results of Days 1 and 2 of the Esferiad. Due to unforeseen budget cuts, we have been forced to only cover the results of the events that our Santo-Dominian athletes competed in. So, with that in mind, let's talk about the results!"
"Starting with Day 1! In Artistic Swimming, Team SD tied with Nieubasria for joint gold. An excellent performance! In 200m Freestyle Swim heats, Santo-Dominian athletes Patrice Owens, Hikari Kimomamoto, Ruby Redbridge and Dylan Haize-Ashknight all qualified for the semifinals. Then, in those semifinals, Owens, Redbridge and Haize-Ashknight qualified, while Kimomamoto was sadly eliminated. Then, in the finals, Redbridge won the bronze medal for our country, while Haize-Ashknight and Owens came in 5th and 6th place respectively. Congratulations to Ruby, and fantastic effort to Patrice and Dylan!"
"Day 1 was Match Day 1 for Water Polo. On that day, Team Santos-Dominius unfortunately lost 5-9 to Esferiad co-host Team Giovanniland. This puts our team at the bottom of Water Polo's Group B. A disappointing performance. Now onto Day 2: in 3m Springboard Dive, Santo-Dominian athletes Giovanni Dupont qualified in the heats, while peers Giuseppe Gravetti and Giorgio Escalini were eliminated. Dupont then qualified in the semifinals, but got 9th place in the finals. We didn't win, but good effort to Giovanni, Giuseppe and Giorgio. The 3Gs, let's call them!"
"Next up was 1500m Freestyle Swim. In the heats, Aliana Evans, Miguel Felipez and Rachel Menenda qualified, while Marc Spisse was eliminated. Then, in the semifinals, Evans, Felipez and Menenda were all sadly eliminated. Good effort to Aliana, Miguel and Rachel though! In windsurfing, our athletes Nicola Fantino, Selene Leroux and 'Alluring Queen of the Waves' Melissa Berlioz all got through the fleet racing stage. Then, in the finals, Fantino, Leroux and Berlioz got 10th, 9th and 6th place respectively. Blue Bubble dominated the top 3 for this event, but good effort to Nicola, Selene and Melissa!"
"Day 2 was Match Day 2 for Water Polo. On that day, Team Santos-Dominius lost 7-8 to Team Teralyon. This puts our team at 2nd last on in Water Polo's Group B. Good effort to the team though, it was close! And that's it - that's all the events Santos-Dominius participated in. Now let's look at the medal table after Day 2!"
"In the medal table, Santos-Dominius is at 8th place out of all 19 participating nations! We have 1 gold earned by Team SD in Artistic Swimming, no silver medals, and 1 bronze earned by Ruby Redbridge in 200m Freestyle Swim. That gives us a total of 2 medals! Blue Bubble sits firmly at the pinnacle of the table with 4 golds, 6 silvers and 5 bronzes for a staggering total of 15 medals! Tied for a distant second are Hertfordia at 3 golds, no silvers and 1 bronze as well as Saint Mark at 1 gold, 1 silver and 2 bronzes for a total of 4 each. Great job to Blue Bubble, and good effort to Hertfordia and Saint Mark!"
"And that wraps up today's coverage! Unfortunately our exclusive interview with Mr Damian Delarue-Brouillard, chairman of the Santo-Dominian National Esferiad Committee(SDNEC), has been pushed back to a later date. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to see our country's best athletes try their best in our very first Esferiad. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of its events, and see you whenever stuff happens!"

HEADLINES/First granddaughter of Santos-Dominius poised to become next President
The granddaughter and only grandchild of Santos-Dominius' incumbent President Paul Goldberg is expected to become the presidential nominee for her grandfather's party. Carnet (pronounced "Car-neigh") Goldberg, at 20 years of age, will become the youngest President in the Federal Republic's history if elected. However, considerable fury has already erupted in the National Senate over this particularly controversial method of selection.
The centre-right Democratic Congress Party(DCB), which President Goldberg leads, had been torn over the matter of choosing a successor. Among the top candidates were Senator Diane Hutchison, the foreign affairs minister, and Vice President Donald Verbloem. Both Hutchison and Verbloem firmly declined requests for comment after news of Carnet's selection broke, but insiders close to the two have reported that they are doubtful of the First Granddaughter's governing and political capabilities. Having grown up in the Fribernese Fortress and afforded every luxury by his grandfather and her personal attendants, Carnet has acquired an unsaid reputation as an elegant, graceful but also distant and collected heiress. Her notorious catchphrase "Don't bore me", as well as her infamous tendency to yawn and fall asleep when during times of boredom, have made her a figure with a colourful reputation among the presidential staff.
Although Hutchison and Verbloem remained muted, opposition politicians have openly criticised President Goldberg's decision to bypass his colleagues and give Carnet the DCB leadership position. Sen. Art Bernstein(CoR-WS), Leader of the Opposition, called the decision "a blatant power grab in full daylight", adding that "the Santo-Dominian people will punish the DCB electorally for this shameless display of nepotism". The centre-left Coalition of Roses(CoR), the main opposition party led by Sen. Bernstein, are expected to mount a fierce challenge against the DCB in the next presidential election and could win with President Goldberg's relative electoral strength now out of the picture. Despite former COR presidential nominee Sen. Jeremy Maxson's decision not to run again, the populist Sen. Bernstein - who was Maxson's running mate last time - is expected to head up the leftist presidential ticket this time, posing an extreme threat to the centre-right's decades-old grip on power.
Even though the DCB and President Goldberg face a ruthless onslaught of criticism from Sen. Bernstein regarding their choice of nominee, some analysts have had a more positive outlook on the matter, commenting that the relatively young Caitlin Goldberg could use her age to pander to the increasingly important 18-24 years old youth demographic, which has historically shunned the DCB and given its votes to the CoR. Santo-Dominian teenagers and university graduates have picked up on Carnet's ascendancy and have made her viral, with many young social media users starting hashtag trends like "#YesWeCarn" or "#CarnetCarn'tRule", a symbol of her divisiveness. The women demographic is also at play, with some female DCB politicians suggesting that Carnet's gender can help revitalise the DCB, which is often mockingly called "the party of old men".
Notably, however, Carnet Goldberg is faring better than her increasingly senile grandfather. Her personal popularity ratings stand at 36%, a fair bit higher than Paul Goldberg's dismal 28%. President Goldberg has suffered from a gradual but steady decline in public approval, with his advanced age cited as a major factor of his unpopularity. Moreover, crises from earlier in his presidency remain ingrained in Santo-Dominians' minds - the flySD scandal, the SDWorks controversy and the Louisann General Strike were all mentioned by poll respondents as major downsides of the lengthly Goldberg presidency. It is unknown if Carnet will be able to rid herself of any association to these unpleasant events once she embarks on the trying campaign trail, or if she will be branded by Sen. Bernstein as yet another dangerous Goldberg.
Anyhow, Carnet Goldberg faces a difficult task. Deeply affected by her grandfather's popularity, the DCB is on its last legs and struggling to regain momentum. The all-important donation stream has slowed due to Paul Goldberg's reduced appearances, and even traditional Goldberg allies like Sen. Hutchison and Vice President Verbloem are unwilling to publicly back or express support for her. Reviving the political fortunes of a centre-right ruling party in an overwhelmingly left-wing welfare state is a tall order, and it remains to be seen if Carnet will be able to overcome all odds and protect the DCB's fragile hold on power.

HEADLINES/First granddaughter of Santos-Dominius poised to become next President
The granddaughter and only grandchild of Santos-Dominius' incumbent President Paul Goldberg is expected to become the presidential nominee for her grandfather's party. Carnet (pronounced "Car-neigh") Goldberg, at 20 years of age, will become the youngest President in the Federal Republic's history if elected. However, considerable fury has already erupted in the National Senate over this particularly controversial method of selection.
The centre-right Democratic Congress Party(DCB), which President Goldberg leads, had been torn over the matter of choosing a successor. Among the top candidates were Senator Diane Hutchison, the foreign affairs minister, and Vice President Donald Verbloem. Both Hutchison and Verbloem firmly declined requests for comment after news of Carnet's selection broke, but insiders close to the two have reported that they are doubtful of the First Granddaughter's governing and political capabilities. Having grown up in the Fribernese Fortress and afforded every luxury by his grandfather and her personal attendants, Carnet has acquired an unsaid reputation as an elegant, graceful but also distant and collected heiress. Her notorious catchphrase "Don't bore me", as well as her infamous tendency to yawn and fall asleep when during times of boredom, have made her a figure with a colourful reputation among the presidential staff.
Although Hutchison and Verbloem remained muted, opposition politicians have openly criticised President Goldberg's decision to bypass his colleagues and give Carnet the DCB leadership position. Sen. Art Bernstein(CoR-WS), Leader of the Opposition, called the decision "a blatant power grab in full daylight", adding that "the Santo-Dominian people will punish the DCB electorally for this shameless display of nepotism". The centre-left Coalition of Roses(CoR), the main opposition party led by Sen. Bernstein, are expected to mount a fierce challenge against the DCB in the next presidential election and could win with President Goldberg's relative electoral strength now out of the picture. Despite former COR presidential nominee Sen. Jeremy Maxson's decision not to run again, the populist Sen. Bernstein - who was Maxson's running mate last time - is expected to head up the leftist presidential ticket this time, posing an extreme threat to the centre-right's decades-old grip on power.
Even though the DCB and President Goldberg face a ruthless onslaught of criticism from Sen. Bernstein regarding their choice of nominee, some analysts have had a more positive outlook on the matter, commenting that the relatively young Caitlin Goldberg could use her age to pander to the increasingly important 18-24 years old youth demographic, which has historically shunned the DCB and given its votes to the CoR. Santo-Dominian teenagers and university graduates have picked up on Carnet's ascendancy and have made her viral, with many young social media users starting hashtag trends like "#YesWeCarn" or "#CarnetCarn'tRule", a symbol of her divisiveness. The women demographic is also at play, with some female DCB politicians suggesting that Carnet's gender can help revitalise the DCB, which is often mockingly called "the party of old men".
Notably, however, Carnet Goldberg is faring better than her increasingly senile grandfather. Her personal popularity ratings stand at 36%, a fair bit higher than Paul Goldberg's dismal 28%. President Goldberg has suffered from a gradual but steady decline in public approval, with his advanced age cited as a major factor of his unpopularity. Moreover, crises from earlier in his presidency remain ingrained in Santo-Dominians' minds - the flySD scandal, the SDWorks controversy and the Louisann General Strike were all mentioned by poll respondents as major downsides of the lengthly Goldberg presidency. It is unknown if Carnet will be able to rid herself of any association to these unpleasant events once she embarks on the trying campaign trail, or if she will be branded by Sen. Bernstein as yet another dangerous Goldberg.
Anyhow, Carnet Goldberg faces a difficult task. Deeply affected by her grandfather's popularity, the DCB is on its last legs and struggling to regain momentum. The all-important donation stream has slowed due to Paul Goldberg's reduced appearances, and even traditional Goldberg allies like Sen. Hutchison and Vice President Verbloem are unwilling to publicly back or express support for her. Reviving the political fortunes of a centre-right ruling party in an overwhelmingly left-wing welfare state is a tall order, and it remains to be seen if Carnet will be able to overcome all odds and protect the DCB's fragile hold on power.

HEADLINES/FlySD CEO resigns after Govt investigation finds airline to have mistreated staff and passengers
Today, the Chief Executive Officer of Santos-Dominius' national flag carrier FlySD(often stylised as flySD) resigned following the publication of a government investigation into the airline's practices. Penelope Kalington, one of the Federal Republic's richest millionaires, resigned from the position after the investigation by the Ministry of Commerce found that flySD had mistreated paying passengers and also overworked staff members. FlySD was buried under mounting heaps of trouble in the past few months, with a major strike initiated by employees partially shutting down the airline's services for weeks. The beleaguered flag carrier also came under fire from the public thanks to a string of passengers voicing their complaints regarding FlySD's poor passenger treatment. Overbooking, poor staff behaviour, unclean plane cabins and seats, and frequent flight delays were cited as examples of this bad service.
The government investigation into the accusations against FlySD was led by Senator Francois A. Bains(DCB-FR), the Minister of Commerce. Lasting for a few months, Sen. Bains questioned a wide range of people involved, including passengers who submitted complaints to the Ministry of Commerce, workers involved in the strike, FlySD administrative staff, as well as the airline's top executives - including Kalington herself. The final report was published on the Ministry of Commerce's official website yesterday evening, and quickly blew up. Details and image excerpts of the report were widely circulated and disseminated on popular social media networks by concerned netizens. The report ultimately concluded that FlySD had indeed mistreated paying passengers, overworked staff members and deliberately kept salaries low and close to the minimum wage.
Speaking to reporters in the National Senate Building in Friberne, Sen. Bains stated that the Ministry of Commerce did not recommend having the Government take legal action against FlySD. However, he crucially remarked that the investigation concluded that Kalington was directly implicated in the airline's mismanagement and poor business practices. The investigation also found that Kalington was heavily involved in the management of the airline's affairs and its day-to-day operations, and therefore actively allowed and supported the extremely poor treatment of staff members. Kalington was also found responsible for FlySD's cuts in the flight cabin maintenance budget, reportedly because she wanted FlySD to expend less, which would directly financially benefit her as she owned a controlling share in the company.
The report continued revealing Kalington's misdeeds as CEO of FlySD. According to Sen. Bains, Kalington was also partially responsible for encouraging overbooking in order to help FlySD earn as much money as possible from bookings. These damning findings quickly made headlines, with SDCSN dedicating extensive segments on live TV to dissecting the contents of the report and speculating on the future of FlySD. The extremely wealthy Kalington family, composed of Penelope's family members, became mysteriously unreachable and unavailable as the companies they owned scrambled to distance themselves from FlySD. The troubled airline also saw its stocks dip on the Friberne Stock Exchange(FESE) as investors looked on worriedly, and big names like Dominion Bank cut their losses by reducing their investments. It was at this point that Penelope Kalington announced her resignation as CEO and her full departure from the company. Her replacement as CEO will be her mother, Caroline Kalington - who will arrive at FlySD from telecommunications giant Meteor Telecom, where she served as Executive Vice President.
Although the damage has mostly been contained and the FESE stabilised, major harm has been done to the reputation of FlySD - and unfortunately Santos-Dominius as a whole by extension. The Kalingtons are bending - even near breaking point - under intense public outcry, and Sen. Bains has indicated that the Government will consider intervening in the situation to fully stabilise FlySD and assist it on getting back on the right track. The National Senate is expected to meet on the upcoming Tuesday to discuss the report's contents, the Kalingtons' troubles, the future of FlySD and the possibility of government intervention. President Paul Goldberg(DCB-FE) has so far declined to comment on the incident, but is expected to hold a press conference at the Fribernese Fortress and present a unified government response after the National Senate meeting.

"Hello, everyone! From Kharventin, Blue Bubble, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! Our coverage of the II Summer Esferiad is brought to you by our generous sponsor, WHAT Telecom! It's the telecommunications giant with a recurring appearance in every old man and woman's night terrors, because literally nobody knows what 5G is! I, the morally dubious clown that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your appropriately unpleasant host for the entire duration of the II Summer Esferiad!"
"And we now go straight to covering the results of Days 1 and 2 of the Esferiad. Due to unforeseen budget cuts, we have been forced to only cover the results of the events that our Santo-Dominian athletes competed in. So, with that in mind, let's talk about the results!"
"Starting with Day 1! In Artistic Swimming, Team SD tied with Nieubasria for joint gold. An excellent performance! In 200m Freestyle Swim heats, Santo-Dominian athletes Patrice Owens, Hikari Kimomamoto, Ruby Redbridge and Dylan Haize-Ashknight all qualified for the semifinals. Then, in those semifinals, Owens, Redbridge and Haize-Ashknight qualified, while Kimomamoto was sadly eliminated. Then, in the finals, Redbridge won the bronze medal for our country, while Haize-Ashknight and Owens came in 5th and 6th place respectively. Congratulations to Ruby, and fantastic effort to Patrice and Dylan!"
"Day 1 was Match Day 1 for Water Polo. On that day, Team Santos-Dominius unfortunately lost 5-9 to Esferiad co-host Team Giovanniland. This puts our team at the bottom of Water Polo's Group B. A disappointing performance. Now onto Day 2: in 3m Springboard Dive, Santo-Dominian athletes Giovanni Dupont qualified in the heats, while peers Giuseppe Gravetti and Giorgio Escalini were eliminated. Dupont then qualified in the semifinals, but got 9th place in the finals. We didn't win, but good effort to Giovanni, Giuseppe and Giorgio. The 3Gs, let's call them!"
"Next up was 1500m Freestyle Swim. In the heats, Aliana Evans, Miguel Felipez and Rachel Menenda qualified, while Marc Spisse was eliminated. Then, in the semifinals, Evans, Felipez and Menenda were all sadly eliminated. Good effort to Aliana, Miguel and Rachel though! In windsurfing, our athletes Nicola Fantino, Selene Leroux and 'Alluring Queen of the Waves' Melissa Berlioz all got through the fleet racing stage. Then, in the finals, Fantino, Leroux and Berlioz got 10th, 9th and 6th place respectively. Blue Bubble dominated the top 3 for this event, but good effort to Nicola, Selene and Melissa!"
"Day 2 was Match Day 2 for Water Polo. On that day, Team Santos-Dominius lost 7-8 to Team Teralyon. This puts our team at 2nd last on in Water Polo's Group B. Good effort to the team though, it was close! And that's it - that's all the events Santos-Dominius participated in. Now let's look at the medal table after Day 2!"
"In the medal table, Santos-Dominius is at 8th place out of all 19 participating nations! We have 1 gold earned by Team SD in Artistic Swimming, no silver medals, and 1 bronze earned by Ruby Redbridge in 200m Freestyle Swim. That gives us a total of 2 medals! Blue Bubble sits firmly at the pinnacle of the table with 4 golds, 6 silvers and 5 bronzes for a staggering total of 15 medals! Tied for a distant second are Hertfordia at 3 golds, no silvers and 1 bronze as well as Saint Mark at 1 gold, 1 silver and 2 bronzes for a total of 4 each. Great job to Blue Bubble, and good effort to Hertfordia and Saint Mark!"
"And that wraps up today's coverage! Unfortunately our exclusive interview with Mr Damian Delarue-Brouillard, chairman of the Santo-Dominian National Esferiad Committee(SDNEC), has been pushed back to a later date. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to see our country's best athletes try their best in our very first Esferiad. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of its events, and see you whenever stuff happens!"

HEADLINES/First granddaughter of Santos-Dominius poised to become next President
The granddaughter and only grandchild of Santos-Dominius' incumbent President Paul Goldberg is expected to become the presidential nominee for her grandfather's party. Carnet (pronounced "Car-neigh") Goldberg, at 20 years of age, will become the youngest President in the Federal Republic's history if elected. However, considerable fury has already erupted in the National Senate over this particularly controversial method of selection.
The centre-right Democratic Congress Party(DCB), which President Goldberg leads, had been torn over the matter of choosing a successor. Among the top candidates were Senator Diane Hutchison, the foreign affairs minister, and Vice President Donald Verbloem. Both Hutchison and Verbloem firmly declined requests for comment after news of Carnet's selection broke, but insiders close to the two have reported that they are doubtful of the First Granddaughter's governing and political capabilities. Having grown up in the Fribernese Fortress and afforded every luxury by his grandfather and her personal attendants, Carnet has acquired an unsaid reputation as an elegant, graceful but also distant and collected heiress. Her notorious catchphrase "Don't bore me", as well as her infamous tendency to yawn and fall asleep when during times of boredom, have made her a figure with a colourful reputation among the presidential staff.
Although Hutchison and Verbloem remained muted, opposition politicians have openly criticised President Goldberg's decision to bypass his colleagues and give Carnet the DCB leadership position. Sen. Art Bernstein(CoR-WS), Leader of the Opposition, called the decision "a blatant power grab in full daylight", adding that "the Santo-Dominian people will punish the DCB electorally for this shameless display of nepotism". The centre-left Coalition of Roses(CoR), the main opposition party led by Sen. Bernstein, are expected to mount a fierce challenge against the DCB in the next presidential election and could win with President Goldberg's relative electoral strength now out of the picture. Despite former COR presidential nominee Sen. Jeremy Maxson's decision not to run again, the populist Sen. Bernstein - who was Maxson's running mate last time - is expected to head up the leftist presidential ticket this time, posing an extreme threat to the centre-right's decades-old grip on power.
Even though the DCB and President Goldberg face a ruthless onslaught of criticism from Sen. Bernstein regarding their choice of nominee, some analysts have had a more positive outlook on the matter, commenting that the relatively young Caitlin Goldberg could use her age to pander to the increasingly important 18-24 years old youth demographic, which has historically shunned the DCB and given its votes to the CoR. Santo-Dominian teenagers and university graduates have picked up on Carnet's ascendancy and have made her viral, with many young social media users starting hashtag trends like "#YesWeCarn" or "#CarnetCarn'tRule", a symbol of her divisiveness. The women demographic is also at play, with some female DCB politicians suggesting that Carnet's gender can help revitalise the DCB, which is often mockingly called "the party of old men".
Notably, however, Carnet Goldberg is faring better than her increasingly senile grandfather. Her personal popularity ratings stand at 36%, a fair bit higher than Paul Goldberg's dismal 28%. President Goldberg has suffered from a gradual but steady decline in public approval, with his advanced age cited as a major factor of his unpopularity. Moreover, crises from earlier in his presidency remain ingrained in Santo-Dominians' minds - the flySD scandal, the SDWorks controversy and the Louisann General Strike were all mentioned by poll respondents as major downsides of the lengthly Goldberg presidency. It is unknown if Carnet will be able to rid herself of any association to these unpleasant events once she embarks on the trying campaign trail, or if she will be branded by Sen. Bernstein as yet another dangerous Goldberg.
Anyhow, Carnet Goldberg faces a difficult task. Deeply affected by her grandfather's popularity, the DCB is on its last legs and struggling to regain momentum. The all-important donation stream has slowed due to Paul Goldberg's reduced appearances, and even traditional Goldberg allies like Sen. Hutchison and Vice President Verbloem are unwilling to publicly back or express support for her. Reviving the political fortunes of a centre-right ruling party in an overwhelmingly left-wing welfare state is a tall order, and it remains to be seen if Carnet will be able to overcome all odds and protect the DCB's fragile hold on power.

HEADLINES/First granddaughter of Santos-Dominius poised to become next President
The granddaughter and only grandchild of Santos-Dominius' incumbent President Paul Goldberg is expected to become the presidential nominee for her grandfather's party. Carnet (pronounced "Car-neigh") Goldberg, at 20 years of age, will become the youngest President in the Federal Republic's history if elected. However, considerable fury has already erupted in the National Senate over this particularly controversial method of selection.
The centre-right Democratic Congress Party(DCB), which President Goldberg leads, had been torn over the matter of choosing a successor. Among the top candidates were Senator Diane Hutchison, the foreign affairs minister, and Vice President Donald Verbloem. Both Hutchison and Verbloem firmly declined requests for comment after news of Carnet's selection broke, but insiders close to the two have reported that they are doubtful of the First Granddaughter's governing and political capabilities. Having grown up in the Fribernese Fortress and afforded every luxury by his grandfather and her personal attendants, Carnet has acquired an unsaid reputation as an elegant, graceful but also distant and collected heiress. Her notorious catchphrase "Don't bore me", as well as her infamous tendency to yawn and fall asleep when during times of boredom, have made her a figure with a colourful reputation among the presidential staff.
Although Hutchison and Verbloem remained muted, opposition politicians have openly criticised President Goldberg's decision to bypass his colleagues and give Carnet the DCB leadership position. Sen. Art Bernstein(CoR-WS), Leader of the Opposition, called the decision "a blatant power grab in full daylight", adding that "the Santo-Dominian people will punish the DCB electorally for this shameless display of nepotism". The centre-left Coalition of Roses(CoR), the main opposition party led by Sen. Bernstein, are expected to mount a fierce challenge against the DCB in the next presidential election and could win with President Goldberg's relative electoral strength now out of the picture. Despite former COR presidential nominee Sen. Jeremy Maxson's decision not to run again, the populist Sen. Bernstein - who was Maxson's running mate last time - is expected to head up the leftist presidential ticket this time, posing an extreme threat to the centre-right's decades-old grip on power.
Even though the DCB and President Goldberg face a ruthless onslaught of criticism from Sen. Bernstein regarding their choice of nominee, some analysts have had a more positive outlook on the matter, commenting that the relatively young Caitlin Goldberg could use her age to pander to the increasingly important 18-24 years old youth demographic, which has historically shunned the DCB and given its votes to the CoR. Santo-Dominian teenagers and university graduates have picked up on Carnet's ascendancy and have made her viral, with many young social media users starting hashtag trends like "#YesWeCarn" or "#CarnetCarn'tRule", a symbol of her divisiveness. The women demographic is also at play, with some female DCB politicians suggesting that Carnet's gender can help revitalise the DCB, which is often mockingly called "the party of old men".
Notably, however, Carnet Goldberg is faring better than her increasingly senile grandfather. Her personal popularity ratings stand at 36%, a fair bit higher than Paul Goldberg's dismal 28%. President Goldberg has suffered from a gradual but steady decline in public approval, with his advanced age cited as a major factor of his unpopularity. Moreover, crises from earlier in his presidency remain ingrained in Santo-Dominians' minds - the flySD scandal, the SDWorks controversy and the Louisann General Strike were all mentioned by poll respondents as major downsides of the lengthly Goldberg presidency. It is unknown if Carnet will be able to rid herself of any association to these unpleasant events once she embarks on the trying campaign trail, or if she will be branded by Sen. Bernstein as yet another dangerous Goldberg.
Anyhow, Carnet Goldberg faces a difficult task. Deeply affected by her grandfather's popularity, the DCB is on its last legs and struggling to regain momentum. The all-important donation stream has slowed due to Paul Goldberg's reduced appearances, and even traditional Goldberg allies like Sen. Hutchison and Vice President Verbloem are unwilling to publicly back or express support for her. Reviving the political fortunes of a centre-right ruling party in an overwhelmingly left-wing welfare state is a tall order, and it remains to be seen if Carnet will be able to overcome all odds and protect the DCB's fragile hold on power.

"Hello, everyone! From Kharventin, Blue Bubble, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! Our coverage of the II Summer Esferiad is brought to you by our generous sponsor, WHAT Telecom! It's the telecommunications giant with a recurring appearance in every old man and woman's night terrors, because literally nobody knows what 5G is! I, the morally dubious clown that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your appropriately unpleasant host for the entire duration of the II Summer Esferiad!"
"And we now go straight to covering the results of Days 1 and 2 of the Esferiad. Due to unforeseen budget cuts, we have been forced to only cover the results of the events that our Santo-Dominian athletes competed in. So, with that in mind, let's talk about the results!"
"Starting with Day 1! In Artistic Swimming, Team SD tied with Nieubasria for joint gold. An excellent performance! In 200m Freestyle Swim heats, Santo-Dominian athletes Patrice Owens, Hikari Kimomamoto, Ruby Redbridge and Dylan Haize-Ashknight all qualified for the semifinals. Then, in those semifinals, Owens, Redbridge and Haize-Ashknight qualified, while Kimomamoto was sadly eliminated. Then, in the finals, Redbridge won the bronze medal for our country, while Haize-Ashknight and Owens came in 5th and 6th place respectively. Congratulations to Ruby, and fantastic effort to Patrice and Dylan!"
"Day 1 was Match Day 1 for Water Polo. On that day, Team Santos-Dominius unfortunately lost 5-9 to Esferiad co-host Team Giovanniland. This puts our team at the bottom of Water Polo's Group B. A disappointing performance. Now onto Day 2: in 3m Springboard Dive, Santo-Dominian athletes Giovanni Dupont qualified in the heats, while peers Giuseppe Gravetti and Giorgio Escalini were eliminated. Dupont then qualified in the semifinals, but got 9th place in the finals. We didn't win, but good effort to Giovanni, Giuseppe and Giorgio. The 3Gs, let's call them!"
"Next up was 1500m Freestyle Swim. In the heats, Aliana Evans, Miguel Felipez and Rachel Menenda qualified, while Marc Spisse was eliminated. Then, in the semifinals, Evans, Felipez and Menenda were all sadly eliminated. Good effort to Aliana, Miguel and Rachel though! In windsurfing, our athletes Nicola Fantino, Selene Leroux and 'Alluring Queen of the Waves' Melissa Berlioz all got through the fleet racing stage. Then, in the finals, Fantino, Leroux and Berlioz got 10th, 9th and 6th place respectively. Blue Bubble dominated the top 3 for this event, but good effort to Nicola, Selene and Melissa!"
"Day 2 was Match Day 2 for Water Polo. On that day, Team Santos-Dominius lost 7-8 to Team Teralyon. This puts our team at 2nd last on in Water Polo's Group B. Good effort to the team though, it was close! And that's it - that's all the events Santos-Dominius participated in. Now let's look at the medal table after Day 2!"
"In the medal table, Santos-Dominius is at 8th place out of all 19 participating nations! We have 1 gold earned by Team SD in Artistic Swimming, no silver medals, and 1 bronze earned by Ruby Redbridge in 200m Freestyle Swim. That gives us a total of 2 medals! Blue Bubble sits firmly at the pinnacle of the table with 4 golds, 6 silvers and 5 bronzes for a staggering total of 15 medals! Tied for a distant second are Hertfordia at 3 golds, no silvers and 1 bronze as well as Saint Mark at 1 gold, 1 silver and 2 bronzes for a total of 4 each. Great job to Blue Bubble, and good effort to Hertfordia and Saint Mark!"
"And that wraps up today's coverage! Unfortunately our exclusive interview with Mr Damian Delarue-Brouillard, chairman of the Santo-Dominian National Esferiad Committee(SDNEC), has been pushed back to a later date. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to see our country's best athletes try their best in our very first Esferiad. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of its events, and see you whenever stuff happens!"

HEADLINES/First granddaughter of Santos-Dominius poised to become next President
The granddaughter and only grandchild of Santos-Dominius' incumbent President Paul Goldberg is expected to become the presidential nominee for her grandfather's party. Carnet (pronounced "Car-neigh") Goldberg, at 20 years of age, will become the youngest President in the Federal Republic's history if elected. However, considerable fury has already erupted in the National Senate over this particularly controversial method of selection.
The centre-right Democratic Congress Party(DCB), which President Goldberg leads, had been torn over the matter of choosing a successor. Among the top candidates were Senator Diane Hutchison, the foreign affairs minister, and Vice President Donald Verbloem. Both Hutchison and Verbloem firmly declined requests for comment after news of Carnet's selection broke, but insiders close to the two have reported that they are doubtful of the First Granddaughter's governing and political capabilities. Having grown up in the Fribernese Fortress and afforded every luxury by his grandfather and her personal attendants, Carnet has acquired an unsaid reputation as an elegant, graceful but also distant and collected heiress. Her notorious catchphrase "Don't bore me", as well as her infamous tendency to yawn and fall asleep when during times of boredom, have made her a figure with a colourful reputation among the presidential staff.
Although Hutchison and Verbloem remained muted, opposition politicians have openly criticised President Goldberg's decision to bypass his colleagues and give Carnet the DCB leadership position. Sen. Art Bernstein(CoR-WS), Leader of the Opposition, called the decision "a blatant power grab in full daylight", adding that "the Santo-Dominian people will punish the DCB electorally for this shameless display of nepotism". The centre-left Coalition of Roses(CoR), the main opposition party led by Sen. Bernstein, are expected to mount a fierce challenge against the DCB in the next presidential election and could win with President Goldberg's relative electoral strength now out of the picture. Despite former COR presidential nominee Sen. Jeremy Maxson's decision not to run again, the populist Sen. Bernstein - who was Maxson's running mate last time - is expected to head up the leftist presidential ticket this time, posing an extreme threat to the centre-right's decades-old grip on power.
Even though the DCB and President Goldberg face a ruthless onslaught of criticism from Sen. Bernstein regarding their choice of nominee, some analysts have had a more positive outlook on the matter, commenting that the relatively young Caitlin Goldberg could use her age to pander to the increasingly important 18-24 years old youth demographic, which has historically shunned the DCB and given its votes to the CoR. Santo-Dominian teenagers and university graduates have picked up on Carnet's ascendancy and have made her viral, with many young social media users starting hashtag trends like "#YesWeCarn" or "#CarnetCarn'tRule", a symbol of her divisiveness. The women demographic is also at play, with some female DCB politicians suggesting that Carnet's gender can help revitalise the DCB, which is often mockingly called "the party of old men".
Notably, however, Carnet Goldberg is faring better than her increasingly senile grandfather. Her personal popularity ratings stand at 36%, a fair bit higher than Paul Goldberg's dismal 28%. President Goldberg has suffered from a gradual but steady decline in public approval, with his advanced age cited as a major factor of his unpopularity. Moreover, crises from earlier in his presidency remain ingrained in Santo-Dominians' minds - the flySD scandal, the SDWorks controversy and the Louisann General Strike were all mentioned by poll respondents as major downsides of the lengthly Goldberg presidency. It is unknown if Carnet will be able to rid herself of any association to these unpleasant events once she embarks on the trying campaign trail, or if she will be branded by Sen. Bernstein as yet another dangerous Goldberg.
Anyhow, Carnet Goldberg faces a difficult task. Deeply affected by her grandfather's popularity, the DCB is on its last legs and struggling to regain momentum. The all-important donation stream has slowed due to Paul Goldberg's reduced appearances, and even traditional Goldberg allies like Sen. Hutchison and Vice President Verbloem are unwilling to publicly back or express support for her. Reviving the political fortunes of a centre-right ruling party in an overwhelmingly left-wing welfare state is a tall order, and it remains to be seen if Carnet will be able to overcome all odds and protect the DCB's fragile hold on power.

HEADLINES/First granddaughter of Santos-Dominius poised to become next President
The granddaughter and only grandchild of Santos-Dominius' incumbent President Paul Goldberg is expected to become the presidential nominee for her grandfather's party. Carnet (pronounced "Car-neigh") Goldberg, at 20 years of age, will become the youngest President in the Federal Republic's history if elected. However, considerable fury has already erupted in the National Senate over this particularly controversial method of selection.
The centre-right Democratic Congress Party(DCB), which President Goldberg leads, had been torn over the matter of choosing a successor. Among the top candidates were Senator Diane Hutchison, the foreign affairs minister, and Vice President Donald Verbloem. Both Hutchison and Verbloem firmly declined requests for comment after news of Carnet's selection broke, but insiders close to the two have reported that they are doubtful of the First Granddaughter's governing and political capabilities. Having grown up in the Fribernese Fortress and afforded every luxury by his grandfather and her personal attendants, Carnet has acquired an unsaid reputation as an elegant, graceful but also distant and collected heiress. Her notorious catchphrase "Don't bore me", as well as her infamous tendency to yawn and fall asleep when during times of boredom, have made her a figure with a colourful reputation among the presidential staff.
Although Hutchison and Verbloem remained muted, opposition politicians have openly criticised President Goldberg's decision to bypass his colleagues and give Carnet the DCB leadership position. Sen. Art Bernstein(CoR-WS), Leader of the Opposition, called the decision "a blatant power grab in full daylight", adding that "the Santo-Dominian people will punish the DCB electorally for this shameless display of nepotism". The centre-left Coalition of Roses(CoR), the main opposition party led by Sen. Bernstein, are expected to mount a fierce challenge against the DCB in the next presidential election and could win with President Goldberg's relative electoral strength now out of the picture. Despite former COR presidential nominee Sen. Jeremy Maxson's decision not to run again, the populist Sen. Bernstein - who was Maxson's running mate last time - is expected to head up the leftist presidential ticket this time, posing an extreme threat to the centre-right's decades-old grip on power.
Even though the DCB and President Goldberg face a ruthless onslaught of criticism from Sen. Bernstein regarding their choice of nominee, some analysts have had a more positive outlook on the matter, commenting that the relatively young Caitlin Goldberg could use her age to pander to the increasingly important 18-24 years old youth demographic, which has historically shunned the DCB and given its votes to the CoR. Santo-Dominian teenagers and university graduates have picked up on Carnet's ascendancy and have made her viral, with many young social media users starting hashtag trends like "#YesWeCarn" or "#CarnetCarn'tRule", a symbol of her divisiveness. The women demographic is also at play, with some female DCB politicians suggesting that Carnet's gender can help revitalise the DCB, which is often mockingly called "the party of old men".
Notably, however, Carnet Goldberg is faring better than her increasingly senile grandfather. Her personal popularity ratings stand at 36%, a fair bit higher than Paul Goldberg's dismal 28%. President Goldberg has suffered from a gradual but steady decline in public approval, with his advanced age cited as a major factor of his unpopularity. Moreover, crises from earlier in his presidency remain ingrained in Santo-Dominians' minds - the flySD scandal, the SDWorks controversy and the Louisann General Strike were all mentioned by poll respondents as major downsides of the lengthly Goldberg presidency. It is unknown if Carnet will be able to rid herself of any association to these unpleasant events once she embarks on the trying campaign trail, or if she will be branded by Sen. Bernstein as yet another dangerous Goldberg.
Anyhow, Carnet Goldberg faces a difficult task. Deeply affected by her grandfather's popularity, the DCB is on its last legs and struggling to regain momentum. The all-important donation stream has slowed due to Paul Goldberg's reduced appearances, and even traditional Goldberg allies like Sen. Hutchison and Vice President Verbloem are unwilling to publicly back or express support for her. Reviving the political fortunes of a centre-right ruling party in an overwhelmingly left-wing welfare state is a tall order, and it remains to be seen if Carnet will be able to overcome all odds and protect the DCB's fragile hold on power.

"Hello, everyone! From Kharventin, Blue Bubble, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! Our coverage of the II Summer Esferiad is brought to you by our generous sponsor, WHAT Telecom! It's the telecommunications giant with a recurring appearance in every old man and woman's night terrors, because literally nobody knows what 5G is! I, the morally dubious clown that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your appropriately unpleasant host for the entire duration of the II Summer Esferiad!"
"And we now go straight to covering the results of Days 1 and 2 of the Esferiad. Due to unforeseen budget cuts, we have been forced to only cover the results of the events that our Santo-Dominian athletes competed in. So, with that in mind, let's talk about the results!"
"Starting with Day 1! In Artistic Swimming, Team SD tied with Nieubasria for joint gold. An excellent performance! In 200m Freestyle Swim heats, Santo-Dominian athletes Patrice Owens, Hikari Kimomamoto, Ruby Redbridge and Dylan Haize-Ashknight all qualified for the semifinals. Then, in those semifinals, Owens, Redbridge and Haize-Ashknight qualified, while Kimomamoto was sadly eliminated. Then, in the finals, Redbridge won the bronze medal for our country, while Haize-Ashknight and Owens came in 5th and 6th place respectively. Congratulations to Ruby, and fantastic effort to Patrice and Dylan!"
"Day 1 was Match Day 1 for Water Polo. On that day, Team Santos-Dominius unfortunately lost 5-9 to Esferiad co-host Team Giovanniland. This puts our team at the bottom of Water Polo's Group B. A disappointing performance. Now onto Day 2: in 3m Springboard Dive, Santo-Dominian athletes Giovanni Dupont qualified in the heats, while peers Giuseppe Gravetti and Giorgio Escalini were eliminated. Dupont then qualified in the semifinals, but got 9th place in the finals. We didn't win, but good effort to Giovanni, Giuseppe and Giorgio. The 3Gs, let's call them!"
"Next up was 1500m Freestyle Swim. In the heats, Aliana Evans, Miguel Felipez and Rachel Menenda qualified, while Marc Spisse was eliminated. Then, in the semifinals, Evans, Felipez and Menenda were all sadly eliminated. Good effort to Aliana, Miguel and Rachel though! In windsurfing, our athletes Nicola Fantino, Selene Leroux and 'Alluring Queen of the Waves' Melissa Berlioz all got through the fleet racing stage. Then, in the finals, Fantino, Leroux and Berlioz got 10th, 9th and 6th place respectively. Blue Bubble dominated the top 3 for this event, but good effort to Nicola, Selene and Melissa!"
"Day 2 was Match Day 2 for Water Polo. On that day, Team Santos-Dominius lost 7-8 to Team Teralyon. This puts our team at 2nd last on in Water Polo's Group B. Good effort to the team though, it was close! And that's it - that's all the events Santos-Dominius participated in. Now let's look at the medal table after Day 2!"
"In the medal table, Santos-Dominius is at 8th place out of all 19 participating nations! We have 1 gold earned by Team SD in Artistic Swimming, no silver medals, and 1 bronze earned by Ruby Redbridge in 200m Freestyle Swim. That gives us a total of 2 medals! Blue Bubble sits firmly at the pinnacle of the table with 4 golds, 6 silvers and 5 bronzes for a staggering total of 15 medals! Tied for a distant second are Hertfordia at 3 golds, no silvers and 1 bronze as well as Saint Mark at 1 gold, 1 silver and 2 bronzes for a total of 4 each. Great job to Blue Bubble, and good effort to Hertfordia and Saint Mark!"
"And that wraps up today's coverage! Unfortunately our exclusive interview with Mr Damian Delarue-Brouillard, chairman of the Santo-Dominian National Esferiad Committee(SDNEC), has been pushed back to a later date. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the II Summer Esferiad! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to see our country's best athletes try their best in our very first Esferiad. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of its events, and see you whenever stuff happens!"