Varanius
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Posts posted by Varanius
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Varanius' Amazing Rugby Assembly
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Tim Perdere had been a mid-level bureaucrat for what had felt like ages now. In reality, it had only been a little under a decade. He had been in the Ministry of Cultural Enrichment since he was 29, and now he was a ripe old 38. Certainly one of the youngest senior government official in Varanius in ages, he had worked himself all the way up to Assistant Vice Co-Director of the Physical Activities Sub-Division of the Televised Media Department. Hardly the most glamorous job in the world, but he felt the future was bright. Well, it was certainly feeling cloudy right about now. And to think, he let some stupid refugee and a some suburban rugby dad talk him into this. Whatever. Best to look towards the future right? Now he could proudly serve as Varanius' first ever Minister of Winning. Minister of Winning? What a joke of a position. What even is that? Sure he advocated for a ministry dedicated to real international sporting events, but surely they could've named it something reasonable? Varanius had never had an international sporting team. Sports had always been internal for the nation. Something the citizens to celebrate, not the world to ogle at. He had gone out on a real limb for that Joe Schmoe fellow to get the Minister of Cultural Enrichment to even consider sending a Varanian team to any such World Cup, much less devote a whole Ministry to its' coordination? But now he was here. Ah well, he may as well do the one thing he always excelled at: mindless government drivel. Now with the added bonus of talking to the Dalimbari. Given the team's star player was a damned Dalimbari refugee, some calls had to be made to ensure he wouldn't be arrested on entry. He picked up the phone lying on his desk, and dialed the number the Ministry of Foreign Engagement had emailed to him hours before. After a solid few rings, the other end answered.“Good day! Is this Lev Toksin?” he asked.
"Privet?" the phone responded, the raspy voice of a woman surely no younger than 60 behind the machine.
“I’m sorry, I don’t speak Dalimbari I’m afraid. I suppose you don’t understand Common?”
"Izvinite, chot?"
“Ah,” he stops for a moment, considering his options. “Do you speak Kommom, rodniy?” he asked in a heavily offensive attempt at a Dalimbari accent, likely one which would get him hate crimed if he spoke it in Dalimbar itself.
"Keto eto? Chot vy govorite?"
“Perhaps I have the wrong nu-“
“Chortovy deti, otlozhite telefon!" she declared as the call abruptly ended.
The Minister sighed. He should be used to the failures of his fellow government members by this point, but who can blame a bureaucrat for having some hope? He took another look at the email Diplo had sent him, and squinted just hard enough to realize he had mistaken one of the numbers, a 5, for a 6. This was probably still their fault somehow. Despite being somewhat put-off from his last encounter, he picked up the phone, dialed the (correct) number, and waited for the phone to pick up.
“Greetings! Do I have Lev Toksin?”
“Indeed you do. How may I be of assistance?”
“Lovely. I am Tim Perdere, the newly appointed Varanian Minister of Winning, and I-“
“I’m sorry, you’re the what?”
The Minister sighed once again, his sole pleasure being that Toksin could not see the exasperated look on his face. “I am the Minister of Winning of Varanius, and I’ve come to inquire about the upcoming Rugby Cup to be hosted in Dalimbar.”
“Minister of Winning? What even is tha- I mean, interesting. What do you need to know?”
The minister could hear the faint sound of a snap, or perhaps a small clap, in the background, but ultimately ignored it. Trying to maintain some sense of dignity, he responded, “I’d like to request blue cards for the Varanian Rugby team members who will be in attendance. Their names and identities will be emailed to you shortly.”
“Ah. Well, I’ll run it by Stavka, who will have the final say, but I’ll be sure to update you as soon as possible. Was that all?”
“Close. I’d like it to be noted that one of the team members, by the name of Joe Schmoe, is a refugee to Varanius from whom Dalimbar is their original country of origin. Will there be any issue in sending them to Dalimbar with the rest of the team? We’d expect they be treated with the dignity and respect of any other participant, and be allowed to return home.”
“I see. I’ll be sure to make note of this.”
“Well, that’s all. Much appreciated.”
“Not a problem! Have a wonderful day Mr. Perdere.”
“You too,” Tim ended as he went to set the phone down, just barely catching the “Motherfu-“ right as the line went dead.
Later that month
With that issue out of the way, it was time to get started on some of the harder details for the group. Namely, their symbol and jersey. While all of the members of the team had been assembled months ago, the graphic aspects had been unfortunately skipped over in the early organization frenzy. Tim entered the room where these discussions were to take place: one of the smaller meeting rooms in the gargantuan Cultural Enrichment building at the heart of Zygotia. While technically a Minister in his own right, he hadn’t quite the earned the honor of his own office building…or much of a staff. The other members of this meeting included quite the cast of characters. Joe Schmoe of course, as the upcoming cultural icon this whole thing was built upon, was not the only team representative in attendance. Alongside him stood Manuel Man, the team coach elevated from relative obscurity to a coordinator of the Varanian sports efforts after ripping open his shirt at a pro-rugby protest outside the capital building. The little stunt took him from the only little weirdo in his neighborhood to pay attention to sports exclusively from other countries to a national sensation. Then was the Ministry of Cultural Enrichment’s Director of Visual Creativity, Arnold Barnold, who was sent in alone as opposed to along with the Cultural Enrichment minister herself as was requested. Though Tim was technically equal to her in rank, he could be Prime Minister and she’d still treat him as an employee. Though, the Director wasn’t bad. One of the most senior officials in the Ministry, he was certainly an experienced member of the team. Finally, the one and only Woman Creosote. WC, as she was also known as, was one of the highest rated and most famous artists in Varanius. How the government had gotten ahold of her he had no idea, but perhaps the other Minister really had pulled some strings for this. It almost made up for her beginning all of her internal cooperation meetings with “To those needing further encouragement than I have already delivered”. But it’s not wise to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Immediately they set to work, brainstorming first and foremost the central logo.
“Hm. What do you think when you think Varanius?” Tim asked the crowd.
“Eyes?” suggested Arnold.
“Hm. Perhaps a little overdone, we don’t want to be too obvious,” responded Tim.
“Perhaps you’re right,” the Director conceded. “Can we turn democracy into a tidy little symbol?”
“What like a voting machine?” retorted Manuel sarcastically.
“Got any better ideas?” Arnold smiled back.
“I’VE GOT IT!” WC screamed. They all immediately turned to look at her, though by now she had already started pulled out her iconic bright green crayon. The group stated in silence, watching her draw her mystery icon with complete confusion on their faces.
“Is that-“ Manuel began before being immediately interrupted.
“Ssssh. Don’t mess with the process,” Tim hushed him.
Finally, after quite some time, she picked up her paper and turned it around so the rest of the group could see.
“Is that…an octopus…with a ball for a head?” Tim asked hesitantly.
“You can’t be serious!” Manuel protested.
Finally, Joe stood up. Over the past hour, this was truly the first time he had spoken all day. In a thick Dalimbari accent, 3 words emerged from his lips: “I love it”. And with that, there was no going back.
“We’re gonna be laughed out of the stadium…” Arnold moaned.
“No,” said Manuel, “we’re going to be heroes.”
After a few hours, and the hammering out of a few key details, the icon was set. Now it was time for the jersey.
“Do we want to do a nice yellow? Like our flag?” began Arnold, Tim having long since lost his pizzazz for the day, sipping from a large iced coffee and staring intensely into the painting of the jellyfish in front of him.
“No no no. I’ve got this one,” Manuel said, with all the undeserved confidence of a poodle. Immediately he started, telling the two actual artists in the room the colors he thought would be best. The end result was…interesting.
“Are we trying to just confuse the shit out of the enemy team?” Arnold remarked upon its completion.
“Haven’t you ever heard of Aposematism? Be bright, be bold, and we scare away any potential predators!” Manuel declared.
“Since when are you a biology expert? And what do you mean ‘scare away’? They’re rugby players, not lions,”
“Guys, guys,” Tim said, having finally snapped back to reality. “Let’s just go with it, it can’t be worse than the 8 legged egghead.”
Manuel beamed. Woman Creosote was much less amused.
One month later
Sitting at his desk, Tim had finally received the long awaited email from the Dalimbari Department of Sport. The email was a notification the DoS has accepted their applications for blue cards. Relieved, Perdere smiled. Off to Dalimbar they would soon go.
Team Details
Style Mod: +2.9
Coach: Manuel Man
Team:
Main:
Player Number Position Joe Schmoe 1 Loose-Head Prop Patty Terrace 2 Hooker Rowan Calcium 3 Tight-Head Prop Bradford Octavius 4 Second Row Atlas Briggs 5 Second Row Sissy Fuss 6 Blind-Side Flanker Dante Infer 7 Open-Side Flanker Mercury Rings 8 Number 8 Tim Briggs 9 Scrum Half John Doe 10 Fly-Half Joe Saint 11 Left Wing Nathan Peter-Callahan 12 Inside Center Theodore Ammit 13 Outside Center Asteria Occidens 14 Right Wing Crius Seeus 15 Full-Back Reserve:
Lexing Ton 1 Hooker Parker Eugh 2 Tight-Head Prop Jeffrey 3 Second Row Astral Pro-Gection 4 Left Wing Lithi Umion 5 Right Wing Donald Guy 6 Loose-Head Prop George King 7 Blind-Side Flanker Cal Cuta 8 Open-Side Flanker Jersey:
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Varanius will be joining this time around!
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“Another request” states the communications officer, unsure of what could possibly be going through the captain’s mind. She turned to look at him, waiting for his response.
“Answer it.” Peyton proclaimed. “And while you’re at it, notify the mainland Varanians that we’ve established contact.” She turned to her computer, and accepted the call before going to type up the message for the Varanian command. The line has been opened.
“You rang?” Peyton asked snarkily.
- Giovanniland and Zoran
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The VRMF Striatus, a frigate in the Varanian Navy, was certainly one of the larger ships in the Varanian navy. Certainly not the largest or newest ship in the VRMF, but a powerful ship in its own right. The captain, Peyton Zontif, had been ordered to take the ship out for this small mission. Well, small is certainly a term for it…
“Go straight ahead, Podi Formes” he ordered his navigator.
“But what about Giovanni-“ Podi questioned, before being quite quickly interrupted.
“I said straight ahead, didn’t I?” Peyton questioned.
“Yes sir,” said Podi, turning back to the navigation board.”
some time later
“Sir, we’ve received a request to identify ourselves,” stated the communications officer.“Ignore it,” commanded Peyton, and so it was done.
- Zoran, Larxia, Giovanniland and 3 others
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General
Location: Northwest most corner of Andolia.
Official Language: Common
Official Religion: None, but the plurality of Varanians of Violetist
Demonyms: Varanian, Varanians
Capital: Zygotia
Government:
The Varanian political scene is largely focused around its unicameral legislature, the Varanian Parliament, or VP. The VP has a grand total of 500 members proportioned according to population across the 7 districts(district map is a WIP). Prime Minister qualifiers are held by Parliament. Specifically, the VP holds a series of ranked elections until only 3 candidates remain, those 3 candidates are then voted on by the national populace. VP and PM elections take place every 3 years.
Freedom:In April 1204, Varanius declared independence from Giovanniland. For years prior, democratic furor had lead to the election of government officials who campaigned primarily on the promise that they would bring democracy to the lands once making up northern Varanius before their colonization. The states now making up modern Varanius came together with a set of demands. The most import one being the removal of the Giovannilandian monarchy. Giovanniland, finding these terms unacceptable, denied the petition. Thus, Varanius decided it was time to declare its independence. Lead by Conus Varan (an ethnically Varanian name which later went on to inspire the name “Varanius”), the coalition fought primarily using underhanded naval tactics, disrupting communication between Lavender and Andolian Giovanniland. After such furor began to spread to certain areas of Andolian Giovanniland, the Giovanniland government granted northern Varanius their independence. After reuniting with its southern counterpart, Varanius was whole again. True, free, and with democracy at its core.
Economy:
The economy of Varanius is internationally a more mid-sized economy,made largely off the back of the Manufacturing industry. The computer parts industry also contributes quite a bit, as well as the fishing and maritime industries, which are extremely popular in the islands and along the coast. This coastal area is also of course where most trade takes place, and includes numerous ports, including in the capital: Zygotia. Meanwhile the aforementioned manufacturing industry usually takes place large in the more urban and industrialized areas of the mainland. Not to mention the exptic flavors and fruits gathered in the northern forests, the most rural part. Varanius views itself as a sort of “link” between West Andolia, the Alcheran Sea, and the Darkesian Sea, and attempts to take a fair amount of advantage of this in continental trade.
Culture:
Culturally speaking, Varanius in many ways identifies equally with the Darkesian Sea as it does with Andolia. It’s capital for example, is located in the coastal city of Zygotia, due to the cultural significance of the maritime city more than population and industrialization, which would suggest a capital further inland. Many in the more inland areas raise concerns regarding perceived elitism within the coastal areas, and this tends to cause some amount of tension between the two. This is again not to mention the tension felt between these groups and the rural forests, who often find themselves underfunded in infrastructure and administrative services.
Politics:
The Varanian political arena is largely dominated by the New Democrats. The large, interventionist, more status quo centered government. It’s main selling point is the continuous advancement of true democracy throughout the world. The exact description of “true democracy” being iffy to non-existent, but largely represents the idea of Varanian styled social democracy.
Welfare:
Varanius prides itself on its extremely well-developed welfare system. The Varanian welfare system largely works to ensure that the poorer members of society are able to participate in everyday life and democratic systems. However, it also serves to promote careers the Varanian government has found to be worthy (tax benefits and increases in government funding have been offered to those in STEM careers for example).
Military:
The Varanian military is adiverse, though navally focused force. The Varanian Assembled Republican Army (VARA) receives $4,642,000,000 in funding, or 25.0% of Varanius' total military spending. The VARA is approximately comprised of 26,000 active enlisted, and 17,000 reserves, though the government rarely discloses exact numbers. The Varanian Republican Maritime Forces (VRMF) receives $6,034,600,000, or 32.5% of the Varanian defense budget. The Varanian Republican Celesital Forces ( VRCF) receives $4,883,384,000, or 26.3%. The Varanian Agents of Democracy (VAD), the special forces arm of the Varanian Defense Ministry, recieves about $612,744,000 or 3.3% of the budget. The Varanian Internal Managerial Operators (VIMO), the National Guard-esque arm, receives about $594,176,000.
Diplomacy:
Varanius prides itself on being the Andolia and Darkesian purveyor of true democracy. However, it’s relations with Giovanniland are unfriendly, but not quite outright hostile. Possibly due to leftover cultural differences from the Giovanni occupation of Varanius those centuries ago. Relations with Fhaengshia, however, are unusually positive given the undemocratic nature of the nation. Despite this, Varanius and Fhaengshia have maintained a mutual defence pact since 1362.
True Democracy:
And finally for the big term itself! In Varanian eyes, true democracy is the term for a parliamentary democracy, with no monarchical influence, dedicated to providing equal representation to every citizen. A unicameral legislature, and various social and economic policies ensuring every citizen has equal rights, and equal ability to participate in society. This includes a strong welfare state, and free healthcare. To Varanians, this represents the best a society can be. Kind, egalitarian, and Democratic. While many politicians don’t shy away from misusing the term for foreign goals, it largely serves as a buzzword for whether or not Varanius likes said thing.
- Fhaengshia, Fujai, Larxia and 5 others
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NationStates Nation Name: Varanius
Discord User Name: Vara#1280
Your Local Timezone: PST
Regions You Have Active Nations In: The West Pacific, Caer Sidi, Edlhus, the Hall of the Red Rose
Any Diplomatic Experience: I was an ambassador for TWP, TEP, and served a short term as the MoFA of a small UCR (Caer Sidi)
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Nation name: Varanius
3-Letter Code: VAR 2-Letter Code: VN
Capital City: Zygotia
Government Type: Parliamentary Republic
The population of my nation is: Above average (a tad)
The GDP per capita of my nation is: Above average (a tad)
Government Spending - Which statement best describes your nation?
My nation provides moderate social programs, or a small selection of social programs.
x
My nation has an extensive social safety net, or provides multiple programs like universal healthcare, welfare, and free tuition for its citizens
My nation does not provide social programs beyond bare necessities and/or high school educations.
My nation does not prioritize social spending, but engages in some large-scale government or public spending projects.
My nation’s government spending is a vast majority of our GDP, such as having to coordinate our import-dependent economy.
(this option is subject to Cartography Board approval)Military Indicator - Which statement best describes your nation?
My nation has made a commitment to security, and maintains a moderately sized modern armed forces within our means.
x
My nation has little incentive or political drive for military spending, but maintains a small-to-moderate modern armed forces.
My nation has prioritized military spending at the expense of other key areas and may have been criticized for lack of freedom or human rights issues.
My nation does not prioritize military spending due to other priorities, the belief we are safe, or we don’t have enough money left over to fund it.
My nation is heavily embattled and we believe we face an existential threat.
(this option is subject to Cartography Board approval)Any other inspirations or concepts you want to share: The Parliamentary Republic of Varanius is a largely urban and progressive nation, with an enormous government, largely due to its social safety network and infrastructure programs. The unicameral parliament, with a total of 501 seats, is elected every 3 years. The multi party system involves voters registering a vote for a party, and said party can choose representatives to fill each seat they win. For the choosing of Prime Minister, a system similar to the American Caucus system is implemented, though only Parliament votes. Specifically, each member of Parliament votes for a candidate. In order for a candidate to qualify, they must receive a certain number of votes. Then members of Parliament vote once again, but for one of the remaining candidates. The candidate with the majority, or at least plurality, wins. The capital city, Zygotia, is found on the northern coast, and is largely known for its extensive ports and large skyscrapers in the western segment of the city. Due to the size of government, the public sector also takes up enormous sections of the GDP.
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I am apparently an INTP-T
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Where did all the slime go?
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NationStates Nation Name: Varanius
Discord User Name: majgecko#1280
Your Local Timezone: Pacific
Regions You Have Active Nations In: The West Pacific, somewhat Caer Sidi
Any Diplomatic Experience: I have previously served as a diplomat from The West Pacific to The East Pacific
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The New Varanius News Publication is glad to announce that the Varanian elections are over. The results stunned many political experts, as the more socialist political party, the Cortexic Party, has acquired astounding numbers of seats in parliament, taking up a record breaking 176 seats of the 500 person parliament, over 30% of the available seats. While their main opposition party, the Hypothalmian party, falling to 68 seats. considering parties with similar positions, it is very likely that the Cortexic party will virtually be able to control Parliament, possibly bringing in a new age for Varanius.
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Varanius - VN - VAR - .var
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Yes, I'd be quite sad
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I would like to be placed in Northern Andolia
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NationStates Nation Name: Varanius
Discord User Name: Majgecko#1280
Your Local Timezone: Western United States
Regions You Have Active Nations In: The West Pacific, Xedas
Any Diplomatic Experience: I have a younger sibling, that should be enough to qualify anyone(really though no).
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4th Rugby World Cup [rosters, roleplays, results]
in Roleplay - How the West Was Won
Posted
Tim had just gotten home from a long day of work at the MoW. Varanius has been in a frenzy after their victory against Rivalfiume. He had been inundated with calls ever since then. It seemed people really were beginning to take a liking to this whole Rugby Cup thing. News of their victory spread like wildfire, and millions of Varanian children sang the praises of star player Joe Schmoe. He sat down on his couch and turned on the television sitting smack dab at the center of his living room. He flipped through the channels. Keeping Up With the Cardashians, The Real Househusbands of Zygotia, the History channel. Wait, did they just say that the painting of Zyg the Many Eyed was made by drug-trafficking aliens? Whatever, it was time for the real business. The MoW was allowed to stream the games through the government's sponsored media channel. The only thing that boosted ratings more than Varanius winning was everyone hate-watching the Giovanniland game. He watched eagerly, carefully following the back and forth of the game. Luckily, he lived alone, so his cheering and booing disturbed no one but his cat, not that she was particularly fond of him anyway after he forgot her dinner last night. Sorry Dodo. His eyes were glued to the screen, and his hope faded as the minutes ticked on. Finally, the game came to a halt. That was that. They had lost to Saranzio. That second, he felt his phone ring. Disheartened but determined, he answered. Jeb Lizarbson sat on the other end.
"Did you see that?" the Prime Minister asked silently.
"Yes," responded Tim. "But don't worry, I pro."
"Shush. Listen to me Tim. We go up against Giovannilandilandiland in a few days. You understand? I went out on a limb announcing this whole Rugby team for you, and you just had our entire nation sit there and watch us get clobbered by some N*rd. If we lose to Giovannilandilandiland, my reelection campaign will be skewered. Fix it."
"Yes, of course Je- I mean, Mr. Lizarbson," he responded. He knew Lizarbson was mad, he almost never used such language about the Nurist people. "Won't happen again."
"Good."
The call ended, and Tim sighed quite the sigh of relief. After taking a few minutes, he dialed Manuel.
"Hey there! You've reached Manuel Man, the Man! If you're hearing this, I ain't around right now. Tell your mom I said hi though. Toodles sucker?"
Voicemail. Of course.
"Hi Manuel. It's me, Tim. Lizarbson is pissed. I get that its' probably pretty stressful up there in Dalimbar, but...pull through for me on this one. Bye."
And with that, he called it a night. Maybe he'd even get some sleep tonight, but it felt pretty unlikely right now...