Haetonia

Review - Day 3 of the Saint-Josalyn Summer Olympics | Rívjü - Dei 3 av đi Seint-Deeušalin Šame Ęlimpiks
Day 3 wrought the best medal count of Hertfordia's tournament, with most sports going swimmingly for the HCOC. The team sports generally went well, with all active sports teams except the football team achieving victory. Despite hiccups in track cycling and football, the third day was arguably the most successful. Here is the medal count for the third day:
Geuld: 2 Šilve: 1 Branz: 1
Hertfordian athletes won a total of 4 medals today, lifting their total medal count up to 10. As a result, Hertfordia sit second in the medal table behind only Nieubasria and ahead of Tara & Cambray, who are hosting these Olympics. Specifically, we have 3 gold, 3 silver and 4 bronze medals. Notably, the two golds came from lightweight boxing and, perhaps surprisingly, the gymnastics. As for team sports, both the handball and lacrosse teams have qualified for their respective semi-finals as group winners. The baseball squad saw a win on their first matchday, while the basketball and water polo teams continued their winning run. The same can't be said of the football team, who sit bottom of their group after two losses. Track Cycling was a disaster, with the nation's duo finishing stone dead last.
And now, the mandatory ranking. What else did y'all expect?

Richard Hammond - Finished 1st in the Lightweight Boxing Final - This man was once a daytime TV presenter. He is known for his sparkly white teeth, his love for Cambrian muscle cars and for once becoming romantically attached to a rusting pile of misery from the 1370s. He is also a keen motorcyclist, frequent over-user of hair product and is probably the world's most anger-prone midget. A fight is never far away with this man. Oh and he crashes a lot.
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Milan Balkanski - Finished 1st in the Gymnastics Uneven Bars - This is the former leader of one of the republics (it since fell apart) that broke away from Greater Hertfordia. A member of the minority group called Debenians, Hertfordians hate this man for percieved war crimes and breaking up Greater Hertfordia, although these accusations have yet to be acted upon.
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Schezo Avramov - Finished 2nd in the Pole Vault - Claims to be a user of some sort of sword-based dark art, although he doesn't help his case by losing in fights to Richard Hammond and the Prime Minister. People tend to focus on his unfortunate speaking style, which makes everyone believe that he is a pervert when he plainly isn't.
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Klug Zeidmanis - Finished 3rd in the Equestrian Individual Dressage. Pretty much the know-it-all of the group, can be quite insufferable but is quite frankly a bit of a wuss. So he was forced to take part in a sport that is basically sitting on a horse while it tries to look camp.
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Vojislav Petrovskis - Finished 6th in the Gymnastics Uneven Bars
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Mark Oleksijovych - Finished 7th in the Windsurfing
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Kokichi Pencis - Finished 8th in the Gymnastics Uneven Bars
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Zacian Ādamsons - Eliminated in the Round of 16 of the Fencing (We really are scraping the bottom of the barrel)
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Andross Tonchev - Finished 11th in the Windsurfing
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Isaac Veinbergs - Finished 9th in the Pole Vault
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Benjamin Paskalev/Viktor Orbán - Eliminated in Round 1 of the Tennis Doubles
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Draco Myronovych - Finished 20th in the Gymnastics Uneven Bars
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Patrick Gribusts/Marine Adamov - Finished 7th in the Track Cycling Team Sprint
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In other news, one of our athletes, Freddie Melngailis, the goalkeeper of the national football team hss recovered from an injury that for reasons unknown has gone unreported to anyone. He attributes his speedy recovery to the mysterious new hippy doctor that arrived yesterday. This health guru has managed to build up trust between himself and the Olympic Committee. There is simply no getting rid of him, not anymore. He will be remaining on his post to tend to any injuries that the athletes of Hertfordia fall victim to.
That is all we have time for, see you all later this day when part 2 of this review appears.
                
 

www.fspn.com.fnt
1-0-1
8-0 Win Marred By Brawl and Banging Sound
It seemed too uncanny to be true. Larxia's Baseball Team has some of the most unhittable pitchers in all of the West, yet it seemed as if Fuentana's batters were reading their minds. Fuentana was off to a fast start, with leadoff hitter Louis Polanyi getting just enough wood on an outside fastball to send it opposite field over the short left field porch, the following three batters drew walks. This brought up slugger James Rodrigo (J-Rod), who put Fuentana ahead 5-0 on a grand slam in the 1st inning. He absolutely walloped an inside slider 463 feet into left field with an exit velocity of 117 mph. He also took his time enjoying the view and celebrated with an emphatic bat flip.

This clearly set off the Larxia squad. Though they kept their composure for several innings, that grand slam was more than enough. Two innings later, Fuentana tacked on another three runs, and their pitching limited Larxia to four hits with a combination of brains and brawn. Starter Kevin Green, a notorious hothead, pounded the inside of the plate with his upper 90s fastball and power sinker. He buzzed three Larxia hitters and outright hit two of them, leading to a most diplomatic exchange of sharp words and sharper looks. But things did not escalate until Larxia's starter returned the favor with a fastball high and inside. Though the umpire kept his cool, Fuentana southpaw reliever John Rocky came in for mop up duty and drilled the leadoff batter square in the back. The batter charged the mound, benches emptied, and Larxia's dignitaries in attendance glared from their box towards Fuentana's monarch Baron Comte von Fontaine, who promptly dropped a stack of papers he had been writing on and made his way to the Larxia box. Pleasantries were exchanged. 
After the game, Fuentana baseball manager Dan Zimmer was unapologetic. "If they don't like how my pitchers pitch, they can join tee ball." Green also refused to yield, saying, "Listen. Every baseball player deep in their heart knows to expect pitchers to establish the zone and protect it by going inside. It's part of the game, and I'm not going to change how I pitch." 
But on Larxia's side, there were rumbles about a strange banging sound that was heard during the first three innings whenever their pitcher delivered an off-speed pitch. The banging was especially noticeable just before the grand slam. A player speaking on condition of anonymity said, "I'm not saying there was anything untoward, but it seemed awfully suspicious. I'd watch Fuentana in the following game."
Fuentana's monarch could not be reached for comment, but a senior staffer tried to cool the issue by noting, "He's hot headed and a rabid sports fan just like anyone else."
Meanwhile, rumors are swirling over another scrap of paper that says,

You're gold in my heart
Would you race my way or should
I give you a crown?

11 June 1420
Zoranian Times Live!
0 - 0 - 1
"Hello Zoran! I am Quiyakaso and I am happy to say that I am still employed by the Zoranian Times! My outburst became a meme in Zoran overnight and I can only say that I am happy to still have a job! Anyways, today is the fourth day of the Olympics! Today we will see three of our athletes run in the Marathon, our coach has been making sure they have been well hydrated the past few days and has been helping them with pacing in order to not exhaust themselves while staying at a competitive speed. Meanwhile, our three spring board athletes have been preparing for today by challenging themselves to try new tricks they can do during their dive. I wish them the best of luck today and pray they will do well! Our gymnastics team has been resting since their event on the uneven bars. But the coach has been giving them some pointers on how to do well on the parallel bars today and has encouraged our gymnasts to not try to be over ambitious or overconfident when it comes to using certain techniques like we say yesterday! While we do expect the gymnasts to challenge themselves a bit on the parallel bars all of Zoran is hoping that they will perform to the best of their abilities! Today we will also get to see the fencing finals! Our champion in that event is Uku Tsevuida, a rising star in the Zoranian fencing world. I will be interviewing him later today but I have asked his coach what he plans to do to prepare him for the final and the coach answered me by saying that he is again making Uku practice with a real rapier but he is also having him practice his reflexes by having Uku play with his cat using a feather wand. While this may seem odd, he claims that his reflexes will improve in keeping the cat entertained with the wand. The coach has also had Uku watch the other finalists in their duels yesterday so he can see their fighting style and take advantage of any weak spots he can take advantage of. We have high hopes for Uku and all of Zoran is behind him along with his ancestors! Today is also the beginning of the judo competition and our team might be unknown but they are skilled! Their sensei has been having them spar with each other the past few days and has been making them go over the basics again to make sure they have them mastered! We look forward to seeing how they will perform later today! Finally, we also get to see our teams compete again today! After tying with Fujai yesterday, our football team has high hopes in making it to the finals and have been watching previous matches of other teams to see different strategies they use, but the coach has made sure to have them expect the unexpected in case they try something new. The same goes to our Rugby team as they have been practicing to keep themselves sharp but they have been taking time for themselves to ensure they are well rested. I look forward to seeing all of our athletes compete today and wish them all the best! I will see you all when I interview Uku Tsevuida later today!"

2 - 0 - 0
Day 3 of the Olympics (LIVE from Saint-Josalyn)
Hello Novasamita, I'm Jan Stebbelhaum reporting to you live from the Saint-Josalyn National Stadium in Tara and Cambray! Our team, despite suffering losses, is still pretty confident! Here's a quick summary of the events that transpired today:
Lars Nordhelm tied with Tracy Renoir of Fuentana in the Pole vault competition, both reaching 5.75 meters. Jan Nagrotte of the Individual Dressage competition ended up being 9th place, and Brien Klassen and Marie Jenssen were dead last. 
Meanwhile in the fencing event, Fredrik Jagred beat Michael Guardian of Saint Mark, 10-9, Bartholomiu Granden defeated Marcus Meinhardt as well, 13-12, and Josef Erdhart was beat by Morgan Yip of the Commonwealth, 14-15.
Jagred and Granden went on to beat Nieubasria (Jagred v. Miltone, 12-11) and Teralyon (Granden v. Kristic, 14-12). Granden was eliminated in the quarterfinals against Glenn Woods of Nieubasria, 10-13, but Jagred endured, beating James Preston of Larxia, 
Our lacrosse team, though, suffered another loss, this time to Tara and Cambray, 10-9. The coach of the team said the players will "need some beefing up and training to do". Baseball hasn't been so lucky for Novasamita either, with our team losing to Hertfordia, 4-1. Novasamita has the lowest ranking in both sports currently.
Basketball seems to be more of our forte, as the national team still heads the rankings of Group 2, with Novasamita recently beating the UMS team, 72-58. Same goes for volleyball, where the national team defeated Bobki's team, holding the lead for all sets but the second.
And that's about it for the daily Olympic update! Now, back to the studio where Anna and Josef discuss about the newly-implemented welfare reforms.
*report returns to the news studio*

Review-The 3rd Day of the Saint-Josalyn Olympics
"Hallo, I'm Dzetre Lown and I'm goin to review instead of Au'relian since he woke up late. Today we did feckin terrible and won no medals. Seriously, all of our athletes competin in Fencing didn't even made into the Quarter Finals! Also in Lightweight Boxing, athlete Balatia Fisitic got 4th, not even a bronze, this was also his last olympics, I can't imagine how sad he'll be now! Oh, Au'relian, you here mate, come here."
"As they're switching, another news comes in."
"The program's name is Meanwhile In Irador by McLellen Ersis"
"Meanwhile In Irador, there has been a train accident which killed about 50 people and there was only few surviviors which were badly injured." says McLellen
"So, let's continue with the remaining sports, shall we?" says Ausrelian Ifanov
"In Tennis Doubles, we were lucky compared to the other sports, where all of our teams went in to the semi-finals, securing us at least a bronze medal. Now, let's move on to the team sports. In Lacrosse, we defeated Fujai and now we're moving on to the semi-finals of Lacrosse. In baseball, we defeated the host, Cambria, and remained to be in the lead in Group 1. In Basketball, we unfortunately lost to Cambria by a very small amount. In Football, we defeated Hertfordia by a score of 3-2. In Volleyball, we defeated Zoran and we went up to 3rd. I hope we win some medals tomorrow. See you tomorrow."
1-1-2

10 June 1420
Zoranian Times Live!
0 - 0 - 1
"Hello Zoran! I am Quiyakaso and welcome back to Zoranian Times live! Today's events were not as we hoped but there is still time to change that! Halona's unstable landing of the Triple Back Dismount cost her a lot of points. Yet we know that family matters have been on her mind recently and have been affecting her performance so the pressure to perform well for her country while dealing with the personal struggle would inevitably cause her to falter in attempting to perform one of the hardest gymnastic feats someone could perform on the uneven bars. Elu didn't do too well either as her execution of the Def cost her a few points as well. Our windsurfers didn't do too well either I am afraid, they still weren't used to the normal windsailing boards and failed to use them in an effective manner, which cost them the event."
*a young Nieubasrian is shown in the background holding up a sign saying "Zoran Killed Harlan Ready"*
"Zoran killed Harlan Ready! Don't deny it!" the young teenager says in annoying tone,
*Quiyakaso facepalms and just sighs* "Can I just have one news broadcast without someone trying to mess with me?"
"JUSTICE FOR HARLAN READY! ZORAN ASSASSINATED HIM!" 
"In other news, our athletes excelled in fencing, we are even moving into the semifinals with the excellent fencing ability of Uku Tsevuida and his performance was like something out of an action movie!"
"ZORAN KILLED HARLAN READY!" screamed the teenage Nieubasrian
*Quiyakaso's eye begins to twitch*
"Uku fought like a Zoranian swordsman from the Zoranian Renaissance! He even managed to defeat Prince Marcarius Halohin of Saint Mark! I will be interviewing him tomorrow so you can look forward to that!'
"JUUUUSSSSTTTTTIIIIIIIICCCCCCEEEEE!!!!"
*eye twitches more*
"Our sports team did really well today and our football team managed to tie with the infamous Fujansk football team! In Rugby, our team defeated the Giovannilandian team 22 to 14! Unfortunately, our volleyball team lost to the Iradorian team but they did put up a good effort and gave us a good game to watch!"
"ZORAN KI-"
"WILL YOU GOT @*&# OFF ALREADY! I HAVE HAD WITH YOU LITTLE ACNE RIDDEN ATTENTION SEEKING PIECE OF &@$%! NO ONE CARES ABOUT IT! THAT TOOK PLACE OVER 100 YEARS AGO! MY ADVISE TO YOU IS STOP JACKING OFF IN THE TRACK AND PUT THE ACNE CREAM IN THE BASKET BECAUSE AT THIS POINT YOU ARE HOPELESS IF YOUR BIGGEST PRIORITY IS TRYING TO INTERRUPT A NATIONAL NEWS BROADCAST JUST FOR A MEME THAT ISN'T EVEN FUNNY! GET A JOB OR MAYBE A GIRLFRIEND AND ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR SORRY @$$ LIFE!"
*Cameraman takes two steps back and the teenager's cocky face dropped immediately only to be replaced with one of shame and depression, he then dropped his sign and walked away dragging his feet behind him*
"Oh...sorry about that Zoran. Anyways, I wish our athletes the best and I hope to see you tomorrow with the interview with Uku Tsevuida!"

Now For something A Little Bit Different | Nau Foči Šamoin E Ľitl Bit Ďifrent
Yes, this is the set of rosters for each of the remaining six teams that we had yet to complete. Includes Baseball, Basketball, Football, Rugby Sevens, Volleyball and Water Polo.

Pitcher - Carl Josypovych
Catcher - Frank Tymofijovych
First Base - Melvin Heorhijovych
Second Base - Sean Josypovych
Third Base - Kent Pylypovyvh
Shortstop - Cesar Vyacheslavovych
Left Field - Mike Trokhymovych
Centre Field - Eddie Petrovych
Right Field - Jimmy Henadijovych
Kit
                
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Point Guard - Niko Borisov
Shooting Guard - Ray Bulgarin
Small Forward - Patrick Mladenov
Power Forward - Brucie Kynev
Centre - Dwayne Filipov
Kit
                
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Goalkeeper - Freddie Melngailis/Rococo Omelyanovych
Left Defender - Queraldo Niedra
Centre Defender - Teres Tinchev
Right Defender - Pierre Grūbe
Defensive Midfielder - Hijikata Rusev
Left Midfielder - Nakata Hadjiivanov
Centre Midfielder - Mark Kostov
Right Midfielder - Jonas Priede
Attacking Midfielder - Drago Hadjiev
Striker - Mac Radulov
Striker - Edgar Vollis
Kit
                
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Prop - Peter Cipriani
Hooker - Scott Bevan
Prop - Britannia Degre
Scrum-Half - Byron Tobu
Fly-Half - Chris Morituros
Centre - Robert Lee
Wing - Mikhail Faustin
Kit
                
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Volleyball
 
Setter - Boris Jēkabsons
Right Side Hitter - David Cālitis
Middle Blocker - Jeremy Čudars
Opposite - Theresa Matisons
Outside Hitter - Nigel Freimanis
Libero - Tony Boka
Kit
                
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Goalkeeper - Winston Cherganski
Right Wing - Isambard Briedis
Right Flat - Charles Dimitrov
Point - William Salmiņš
Left Flat - Isaac Nankov
Left Wing - John Lūsis
Hole Set - Horatio Nikolov
Kit
Er, the Water Polo team don't actually have kits. They just bring their own swimming shorts and helmets.
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Yes, we posted this, and now we are saying goodbye again. The results will come in the daytime.
                

Giovannilandian Olympic Report - 2nd Day
Hello all for another Giovannilandian Olympic Report! This day in the 1st Summer Olympics, there was plenty happening, as several team sports had their first matches. Let's make an overview of everything! 
10k run: In this tiring event, athletes had to run 10 kilometres! Giovanniland did pretty good on here, as Marko Kambraya got a silver medal for running the entire distance in 27 minutes, just 36 milliseconds after Molly Hurdle from Fuentana. Other athletes didn't do so well, as Anastasio Fernando-Vittoriani, Giorgio Quirano, and Sara Urbana-Amorio were placed 20th, 21st and 22nd, respectively.
Handball: The Giovannilandian team got off to a good start in a close match against hosts Cambria. Both teams played evenly, and Giovanniland won by only one point, with the final score of 24-23. Soon, the Giovannilandians will play against Hertfordia, leader of the group by point difference.
Baseball: It was a wonderful day for the Giovannilandian Baseball team, as they won 5-3 against Cambria. Giovanniland now tops the group, being ahead of Irador, which won against Fujai, by point difference.
Basketball: While our country had luck on other team sports, the Basketball team did not succeed, as they lost on a close match 61-70 to Larxia. The team still has chance to qualify to the knockout round, as they will play Nieubasria and Bobki.

Football: The Giovannilandian Football team succeeded against Hertfordia, winning 2-1. In the first half, the Hertfordian team scored a goal pretty early, however the star of the match Regina Horatiano-Viselli scored 2 goals on the second half to turn the match around and give the win to Giovanniland.
Water Polo: This was yet another successful start for Giovanniland. Our team played against hosts Cambria (again!) and won 8-4.
In conclusion, this was a very eventful day! There was only a silver medal, but the many wins on team sports show that Giovanniland has great chances of getting into the knockout round of these, and possibly win more medals for our country. See you tomorrow!

www.fspn.com.fnt
"More Meatballs!" and Beer: A Look Inside the Fuentana Village
Though they're a small contingent, the Fuentana National Team is a voracious bunch. 
Made up mostly of track and field athletes, along with 25 baseball players, 11 basketball stars, and a college player to take on rookie duties, this squad has proven to be hungry for victory—and for second servings. 
At the national team lunch today, there was a serving of pasta and meatballs, meatball parm sandwiches, and Asian-style meatball bahn mi. 
What's most amazing is that it's often the distance runners that are scarfing down the most food. Spring City Marathon Winner Shalana Flanagana walked by with two plates of pasta, and twelve minutes later the plates were clean. Stephen Postfontaine, fresh off a disappointing performance, was not quite despondent today because he was carrying a plate of twenty three meatballs. "More meatballs!!!" he exclaimed.
By the end of lunch, the whole basketball team was chanting "Ste-PHEN! Ste-PHEN!" as he downed orb after orb of meat. 
Meanwhile the baseball team was seen sneaking extra sandwiches back to their hotel rooms. One player, speaking on condition of anonymity, explained, "Have you ever seen baseball? It's boring. We'll sneak bites all game long." I asked, "Do you sneak in anything else?" He said "Shh," and pointed to a bag in the corner filled with cans of beer. "We'll get it out of our system before the 7th inning for sure." 
 

The Olympics intro song plays and an an anchor welcomes the eager nation to the day's coverage. "Good evening all, today we celebrate the award of another gold and silver medal. Some circles particularly celebrate the silver medalist in one-person dinghy sailing, Gilen de Mey. That name may be familiar, as he was the sailor who made news in 1417 for his outstanding sportsmanship at the Saint Aiaden Regatta. I am pleased to introduce the story of Gilen, as prepared by NBBC-"
A slideshow of photos of Gilen competing slide across the screen, a voice-over begins in a soft tone- "Gilen de Mey, the 36 year old olympic sailor captured the hearts and minds of the nation in 1417 for his selflessness and sportsmanship, has a history of excellence in his sporting and professional endeavors. 
"Born in the town of Brindard, near Colkirk, Gilen was raised far away from the traditional sailing circles of Saint Aiaden and North the High. He came upon his love of the water in his second year at the Tamaric University of Saint Aiaden where he was studying chemical engineering. During a spirit event, the student union required their officers to take part in a sailing demonstration - an event later lauded for its breaking down of traditional social barriers to the sport- Gilen took to sailing like a natural. The University's sailing coach took notice, and Gilen was captain of the TUSA Sailing Team by the end of his third year. 
"Following graduation, Gilen remained affiliated with his University team and often volunteered as an organizer. All this while his professional life was picking up, Gilen was contracted with the defense company Aurantium where he would later meet his current partner, Jacen- a corporate lawyer. 
"His love for sailing was not slowed, however. Gilen and Jacen would go on to purchase lakefront property and participate in Sailing Society events from which Gilen would come to meet the Convenor of NB Sailing, the organization which trains and selects the athletes for the olympics. 
"Gilen would compete in his first Saint Aiaden Regatta in 1412, securing an unexpected third-place victory. He would regularly place in the top 10 for the next few years, along with a second-place finish to Oswin Whittlee. Something changed in 1417, because Gilen was moving along at a quick clip, even though the waters were exceptionally rough. About halfway through the race, he seemed to have a firm grip on first placement when disaster struck.
"Gilen heard the cries of two sailors competing in a different event nearby. One of them clinging desperately to their boat, which had capsized under five-foot waves. The other had been  swept 70 feet off by the rough water. Instead of staying in his race, Gilen set course for the sailors and pulled them out of the water. His hope for a first-place trophy all but dashed, Gilen waited for rescue boats to arrive. By the time they did, he'd fallen to 28th place. But Gilen's bravery did not go unrewarded. The Regatta steering committee gave him the Jan-Pieter Bloemink medal, a special award for exceptional sportsmanship.
"Today we celebrate an exceptional man, his dedication to sportsmanship, and his demonstration of Tamaric values all throughout his life."
__________________________________________________________________________________

OFFICIAL RELEASE - BASRIC ASTORIAN OLYMPIC COMMITTEE
Oswin Whittlee, sailor in the one-person dinghy has been placed on Investigative Suspension of any official duties within Olympic Committees
or any National Sport Organizations partner of the Basric Astorian Olympic Committee. Whittlee's Investigative Suspension is a matter related
to his professional conduct in the Day 2 race. No official determinations have been made and Whittlee will continue to compete in any other
qualifying events, barring such an official determination. 

Well, at least Saint Mark is upholding its maritime traditions. I've certainly not been making a good show of things myself so far.
Edward, please make sure the arrangements are made for a cocktail reception in honor of Arthur Windswept.
Hurrah for Gold!

Wednesday 10th June 1420 - Preview of Day 3 of the Saint-Josalyn Summer Olympics | Přīvjü - Dei 3 av đi Seint-Deeušalin Šame Ęlimpiks

This man claims to have arrived as a health guru for the athletes of the Olympics. He was considered trustworthy, although a bit of a hippy.
Day 3 of the Olympics will provide debuts for multiple individuals, as well as the finals of the Lightweight Boxing and continuation of the team sports, which are likely to see the Baseball team debut on the stage. As of this time, Hertfordia has 6 medals - 1 gold, 2 silver, 3 bronze - leaving us 5th in the table and with the second highest medal count so far, behind hosts Tara and Cambray. Even though the heavyweight boxing final is also on, both of our contenders were eliminated in Round 1, therefore they will not be there today. Without further ado, here is the line-up.
Events/Ívents Athletes/Àølīts Pole Vault
Isaac Veinbergs, Schezo Avramov
Cycling Track Team Sprint Patrick Gribusts, Marine Adamov Equestrian Individual Dressage Klug Zeidmanis Gymnastics Uneven Bars Kokichi Pencis, Draco Myronovych, Milan Balkanski, Vojislav Petrovskis Windsurfing Mark Oleksijovych, Andross Tonchev Lightweight Boxing Finals Richard Hammond Fencing Individual Foil Zacian Ādamsons Tennis Doubles Stage 1 Benjamin Paskalev, Viktor Orbán Matchday 3 Handball, Lacrosse Hertfordia Handball Federation, Hertfordia Lacrosse Matchday 2 Baseball, Basketball, Football, Rugby Sevens, Volleyball, Water Polo Hertfordia Baseball, Hertfordia Basketball, Hertfordshire and Jammbo Football Federation, Hertfordshire and Jammbo Rugby Union, Hertfordia Volleyball Federation, Hertfordshire and Jammbo Water Polo Team Apologies for the slight technical error. Today, there will be 16 events on for Hertfordia. The most notable contestants here are definitely Viktor Orbán, the national conservative leader of a central county and victim of constant inter-county meddling by Great Parndon and their allies, and Zacian Ādamsons. If you do not know why this is, Ādamsons is literally an armoured wolf with a sword. You couldn't write this!
We also have Richard Hammond who will be boxing for the title in the Lightweight Boxing Finals. Boy, does he love a good fight. Meanwhile most of our teams will be wishing to build on their good starts, while the baseball team debuts on the Olympic stage and the handball team resumes their campaign. As for the football and rugby teams, they will want to try their hardest to win this time around. Actually, speaking of rugby...
If you are a fan of any Hertfordian sports team, could you please refrain from interrupting foreign news broadcasts? We aren't asking, this is an order from the Hertfordian Confederal Olympic Committee. One rugby fanatic has already been detained by the Plod and has been banned from attending anything Olympic-related from this point on. Quiyakaso of Zoran has already been informed of this development and is probably rather glad the crazed Hertfordian fan has been wiped away. We can't say for sure.
Now, we must conclude this preview on three points. 1 - Do not interfere with foreign broadcasts. 2 - Pop over by that hippy health guru that has turned up, he seems like a nice guy. 3 - Come on you Hawks, go on ahead and win some silverware, by which we mean medals. And trophies, if there are any.
Anyway, on that terrible disappointment of a fan, it is time to end. Thank you very much for coming and we'll see you all tomorrow. Until then, goodnight!
                

10 June 1420
Zoranian Times Live!
0 - 0 - 1
*Quiyakaso rubs his jaw as recording begins*
"Oh hello Zoran! Today is the third day of the Olympics and things are already starting to look up for our athletes since yesterday night! I spoke with some of the athletes who will be competing today and I also spoke to the coaches  and asked what they have been doing to prepare for today! First, I spoke to the coach of the gymnasts as for some reason the athletes do not want to talk to me! He told me that since today they will be competing in the Uneven Bars, he has been having his athletes work on their upper body strength so they can be able to perform well during the event. She told me that Halona and Elu have been working on some pretty advanced and difficult skills even before the Olympics was announced and she said she was amazed at how well they both have been able to improve them so quickly. The coach told me that Halona is planning on performing the Triple Back Dismount in her routine and Elu is planning on incorporating the Def in hers. The coach says that she admires her girls in their dedication to the sport and says that she has seen both girls do both of these techniques over the years and that when they recently performed them it was practically flawless and she prays to the Great Spirit that they will be able to replicate the perfection they have shown in practice."
*Gets interrupted by a guy from Hertfordia who jumps in front of the camera*
"GO HERTFORDIA!"
*Quiyakaso pushes him away*
"Sorry for that folks! Anyways, out windsailing team has been working hard as well and has been practicing out on the T&C coast! The coach has told me that after what has occurred yesterday with the dinghy race, they would not allow to take any chances and so has been making sure the windsurfers have experience with the non-Zoranian windsurfing boards, which are known to have some secret and subtle design features which allow for quick and easier movements due to our people having an ancient naval tradition where we had people observing the winds and the tides, and have been making sure they aren't getting sloppy."
*same man comes back on screen*
"HERTFORDIA IS NUMBER ONE IN RUGBY!"
*Quiyakaso shoves the man away harder*
"You lost to Fujai last night! Stop interrupting my news broadcast!" Quiyakaso yells at the man,
"I apologize again for that interruption. Also, today is the first day of fencing and our fencers have been practicing with real rapiers to get themselves in a life or death mentality for when they compete in the events. Their coach explained that by having them use real and sharp rapiers, they will be more precise with their strikes and will have them fence smarter than before to prevent themselves from being injured. He claims to have seen massive improvements with the athletes and surprisingly none of the athletes have been injured so far. The coach has also been helping them with their form and footing to ensure that they will be fencing properly. We hope to see the results of this avant garde idea."
*Stops and looks around to make sure the Hertfordian doesn't interrupt him again*
"Finally to-"
"HERTFORDIA WILL BRING HO-"
*Beats microphone over the head of the Hertfordian*
"WILL YOU JUST GET OUT OF HERE!"
*looks at camera*
"My apologies viewers, anyways, our teams are going on to round two today and our coaches have been drilling them hard since their victories yesterday. They are making sure they are rested up as well while keeping them sharp for the matches later today. I will see you at the events Zoran!"
*goes back to anchors as he slams his microphone over rising hand from bottom of the screen*

Review - The 2nd day of the Saint-Josalyn Olympic
"Hi I'm Ausrelian Ifanov and I'm going to review all the matches our athletes were in. During the 2nd day of the Olympics, we had less athletes compete but we did better than the 1st day. In Badminton Singles, we had 2 of our athletes, Dewret CIrcca and Lelio Aureli were in the semi finals but unluckily, none of them made into the finals, so  they had to battle each other for a bronze medal. At the end, Lelio Aureli won the Bronze Medal. In Badminton Doubles, we won our first gold medal by Reder Serncic and Qelet Minovic, defeating the athletes from the Spheric Marble Mallorcan Republic. In Lightweight Boxing, our athlete Baltia Fisitic defeated Slobodan Dreimanis from Hertfordia and Jammbo and he rechead the semi-finals. In Heavyweight Boxing, Guarham Boric was defeated in the quarter finals by Deorwine Trumane from Nieubasria. We'll review the other sports after an another news about the Olympics."
"In a very small town located at the southeast of Irador, the eletricty was out for about an hour during the finals of the badminton doubles. It says that too much electricity was used during the time." says a reporter.
"So, let's continue with the rest of the sports, all of them are team sports. In Lacrosse, we won against Teralyon 10-4, making us lead in Group 1. In Baseball, we won by only 1 point against Fujai which makes us second in Group 1. In Basketball, we defeated the Marble Mallorcan Republic by a score of 66-58. In football, we unfortunately lost against Cambria by a score of 1-0 which made us place last in Group 1. In volleyball, we lost against Novasamita. So, its the end of the review, and I'll see you at the 3rd day and there will be even more matches to review since there will be more athletes competing than today."
1-1-2

Review - Extra Part, Per The Norm | Rívjü - Èkstre Pät, Pē đi Nočim
As we promised earlier, this is the report on how the team sports went for our boys. Overall, the teams representing the Double-Headed Hawk performed well, with convincing victories over hosts Cambria in Basketball and current Medal Table leaders Nieubasria in Water Polo, as well as a narrow comeback win over Larxia in Volleyball. In Lacrosse, Hertfordia were held to a 9-9 draw by the hosts (Yeah, we seem to face Cambria a lot). There were some bad points however. A weakened football team, due to other individual events (Rococo, etc. were not able to make it), were beaten 2-1 by Giovanniland. What stung most though was the 26-14 loss that the rugby sevens team had to endure. To Fujai no less!
For those who wonder why this stings so much, back when The West Pacific Rugby World Cup was on, Hertfordia defeated Fujai in extra time in a comeback victory to shock the world and become TWP champions of rugby. So to lose to the very team we beat in that tournament's grand final hurts, it really is bloody devastating!
But we can't get far by being hung up on losses, so here now are the teams, ranked by performance, and their scores against their opposition...

Cambria 61-90 Hertfordia
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Hertfordia 18-10 Nieubasria
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Hertfordia 9-9 Cambria
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Larxia 2-3 Hertfordia
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Giovanniland 2-1 Hertfordia
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Fujai 26-14 Hertfordia
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Thank you for putting up with us as much as possible, and we must conclude today's review with a simple and alarming fact. If you are, say, a war criminal seen in, oh I don't know, a mountain biking race, then consider yourself relieved because there appears to be a new Public Enemy Number 1 for Hertfordian sports fans: FUJAI!!!!
Take care, goodnight!
                

9 June 1420
Zoranian Times Live!
*voice a bit messed up due to being dislocated by slap and landing on the ground chin first*
"Herro Soran! Surry fur being hurd to understend, it seems my jow is a bit focked hup! T'day Hinola won a bronsh medol on da balansh beans. Sher hope to bring hume a medol hash bean forfilled! Beanwile, in ze shen k run, chew of our acletes made it in thief und twix place wile one jid not finnish chew to getting chrapped in a portaparchy mid-thrace! In dee shingy shailing competisean, our acletes xid not do ash swell az we hulped. Vut one did beach haith plaish.In foocball, our sheen won ahainst Wrestlen (Recuecn) chew to one. In hugbee, our sheen won ahainst Dewbrasia(Nieubasria) chertyfour chew chwelve. Anch in follyball our cheam won ahainst Chairaleon(Teralyon)! I apaulogize fur mai jow, I holp to be vetter chewmorrow, shee you chen!"
 
Translation: Hello Zoran! Sorry for being hard to understand, it seems my jaw is a bit fucked up! Today, Halona won a bronze medal on the balance beams. Her hope ot bring home a medal has been fulfilled! Meanwhile, in the 10k run, two of our athletes made it in fifth and sixth place while one did not finish due to getting trapped in a portapotty mid-race. In the dinghy sailing competition, our athletes did not do as well as hoped, But one did reach eighth pace. In football, our team won against Recuecn two to one. In rugby, our team won against Nieubasria thirtyfour to twelve. And in volleyball our team won against Teralyon! I apologize for my jaw, I hope to be better tomorrow, see you then!

2 - 0 - 0
Day 2 of the Summer Olympics - Review
The second day was not very abundant for the Novasamitan delegation, especially those in the single events. Shot put athletes Peter Rubensen and Jonas Nordhelm were both in the lowest 5, Brien Klassen was narrowly defeated by Halona Ani'-Wah' of Zoran , Janna Kircholmsen getting 17th place and Luis Venne getting defeated by Rachel Cordina of T&C. Novasamita's lacrosse team suffered another loss as well, and the team for baseball lost too.
Most of the successes today were by team groups, though. Novasamita's basketball team rose to 2nd place in the second group rankings, defeating Fuentana 73-68. The Rugby Sevens team absolutely pounded the Marble Mallorcan Republic's team, 7-40, as well as the volleyball team, who won against the Iradorians. 
The rest of the Novasamitan delegation, especially the teams who qualified for next rounds, are hopeful tomorrow will bring more wins.
Novasamitan Spectator Hyperventilates After Shot Put Ball Nearly Misses Him By Inches, Rushed to Hospital
Sports enthusiast Karl Druslau was watching the shot put event at the Saint-Josalyn Track and Field, 9th of June, when a shot put was accidentally thrown onto the net, and barely missing Druslau. The 58-year old, known to have asthma, hyperventilated rapidly, causing him to have difficulty breathing. His friends noticed this and immediately rushed him to the hospital, where he is currently being treated. He will be sent home to be taken care of further at his hometown of Mittelbache. Stadtholder Vredgaar has sent him a bouquet of flowers and an inhaler.

Review - Day 2 of the Saint-Josalyn Summer Olympics | Rívjü - Dei 2 av đi Seint-Deeušalin Šame Ęlimpiks
Day 2, while it went reasonably well, did not go as well as last time. To demonstrate that, here is the medal count for day 2:
Šilve: 1 Branz: 2
Despite the lack of gold medals, the Olympic team still managed to pull together some great performers. Due to the current medal count, we sit 5th in the Olympic Medal Table with 1 Gold, 2 Silver and 3 Bronze medals. As with every single day, here is the ranking of each individual athlete. Again, due to our web page limitations, the team rankings will be posted after the individual rankings.
Yes, this will be insanely long, viewers. Deal with it, we have tons of athletes!

Takumi Mihailov - Finished 2nd in the High Jump Final - A delivery boy who happens to be a racing prodigy, also has a habit of crashing into walls while drifting excessively.
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Phil Yevhenovych - Finished 3rd in the One-Person Dinghy Sailing - A retired musician and lead of one of Hertfordia's most recgonizable bands. Richard Hammond despises them.
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Mario Volodymyrovych/Matt Miķelsons - Finished 3rd in the Badminton Doubles - This is not normal Mario Volodymyrovych, this is Stupid Mario Volodymyrovych, a man with an IQ of -7 and a brain the size of an blood cell. As for Matt, he is the former health minister, who turned out to be unpopular with health workers.
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Richard Hammond - Currently in the Semi-Finals of the Lightweight Boxing
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Bobby Kazymyrovych - Finished 6th in the Shot Put
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Slobodan Dreimanis - Eliminated in the Quarter-Finals of the Lightweight Boxing
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Kaiser Ruslanovych - Finished 13th in the 10,000m Run
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Jamie Dachev - Finished 14th in the 10,000m Run
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Keisuke Yakovych - Finished 9th in the High Jump
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Vojislav Petrovskis - Finished 14th in the Gymnastics Balance Beam
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Satan Salmiņš - Finished 9th in the Shot Put
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Milan Balkanski - Finished 18th in the Gymnastics Balance Beam
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Rococo Omelyanovych - Finished 21st in the One-Person Dinghy Sailing
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Rose Rysinov - Eliminated in Round 1 of the Heavyweight Boxing
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Draco Centauros - Finished 20th in the Gymnastics Balance Beam
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Franjo Širovs - Eliminated in Round 1 of the Heavyweight Boxing
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Kokichi Pencis - Finished 22nd in the Gymnastics Balance Beam
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That is the end of the first part, see you very soon when the second half of the review is posted.
                

2 - 0 - 0
Day 2 of the Summer Olympics - Review
The second day was not very abundant for the Novasamitan delegation, especially those in the single events. Shot put athletes Peter Rubensen and Jonas Nordhelm were both in the lowest 5, Brien Klassen was narrowly defeated by Halona Ani'-Wah' of Zoran , Janna Kircholmsen getting 17th place and Luis Venne getting defeated by Rachel Cordina of T&C. Novasamita's lacrosse team suffered another loss as well, and the team for baseball lost too.
Most of the successes today were by team groups, though. Novasamita's basketball team rose to 2nd place in the second group rankings, defeating Fuentana 73-68. The Rugby Sevens team absolutely pounded the Marble Mallorcan Republic's team, 7-40, as well as the volleyball team, who won against the Iradorians. 
The rest of the Novasamitan delegation, especially the teams who qualified for next rounds, are hopeful tomorrow will bring more wins.
Novasamitan Spectator Hyperventilates After Shot Put Ball Nearly Misses Him By Inches, Rushed to Hospital
Sports enthusiast Karl Druslau was watching the shot put event at the Saint-Josalyn Track and Field, 9th of June, when a shot put was accidentally thrown onto the net, and barely missing Druslau. The 58-year old, known to have asthma, hyperventilated rapidly, causing him to have difficulty breathing. His friends noticed this and immediately rushed him to the hospital, where he is currently being treated. He will be sent home to be taken care of further at his hometown of Mittelbache. Stadtholder Vredgaar has sent him a bouquet of flowers and an inhaler.

-Alexander The Great

"-and the nation will surely remember its first medal of these first Summer Games as Eute Pesotta ran an incredible 44.35 seconds in the 400m run this morning."
The anchor was cut off by a co-commentator, "And hopefully that enthusiasm can carry over to the Lacrosse team's first match up with the Cambric team as we move to the second match of Group 2 for Lacrosse." The camera cuts to an overhead view of the empty lacrosse field. 
"This folks is where in just moments the Team NB will be matched against the Cambric team, seeing many players who play against one another in the Astorian League on the same team for a change! The poster boys for this would have to be Aiaden Dunlap and Zain Oosten- their teams' rivalry is legendary in the Basric League, though they have the same jerseys on today-" 
While the commentators spoke, the ticker on the bottom of the screen scrawls a message 'Cooper Kinsleye overtakes first ranking in Gymnastics Floor Exercise with 15.850 from Cambrian Nile Whitlock's 15.825' without any notice. 

"-and today they unite under the captainship of Ellen Tudemn, regularly the captain of the Clarendon Cadets." Still showing the empty Lacrosse field, a couple of Olympics workers take out equipment to repaint the Olympic symbol midfield. The view of the field pops into a smaller window on screen, and the main window launches into a player Biography on Lacrosse Captain Ellen - highlighting her childhood growing up in a small, hilly town near North the High and featuring interviews with her parents, her high school girlfriend's brother, her ophthalmologist's assistant-turned-second-wife, and her dead childhood dog through the mediumship of Adaine Walsh. 

Nearly a third the way through the 45-minute profile, the ticker scrawled another message 'Vivien Sampaio overtakes first ranking in Gymnastics Floor Exercise with 16.125 from Basric Cooper Kinsleye's 18.850 with 2 routines remaining- guaranteeing Basric medal placement in Gymnastics Floor Exercise' without any further comment from the Panelists. 
As the profile played on, a counter ticked down above the medal count in the bottom-left corner of the broadcast to the kickoff for the Lacrosse match against Cambria. 
20 Minutes to Kickoff
10 Minutes to Kickoff
     The ticker announced the medal ceremony for Gymnastics Floor Exercise is beginning while the Clarendon Boys Choir launched their third remix of a popular song from 1389. 
5 Minutes to Kickoff
    The medal counter ticked up to two golds, and one silver without notice from the panelists. 
KICKOFF

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Live Leak: Scathing Open Letter Released from Gymnastics Nieubasria 
Countess-Esquire Thrae Schoenberg, patron of Gymnastics Nieubasria has penned an incendiary open letter
addressed to the Nieubasric Broadcast Corporation, the holder of the Summer Olympics broadcast monopoly
in Nieubasria for their blatantly unfair treatment of Gold and Silver medalists Vivien Sampaio and Cooper Kinsleye.
Instead of showing the major achievement of these great athletes, they chose to show the 40-minute-too-long 
feature trying to dig up irrelevant factoids of another great athlete as a "warmup" for the supposedly infinitely more
exciting than the awarding of a gold and silver medal. 
 

8 June 2020
Zoranian Times Live!
"Hello Zoran! Those were some events huh? The athletes from all countries were incredible! While none of our own athletes won any medals today I can't help but admire the techniques of all the athletes today. The coaches for our athletes claim that the reason why our athletes didn't perform to the best of their abilities today is because they are experiencing some major jet lag due to traveling across three time zones just to reach T&C. But the coaches promise that the athletes will perform better tomorrow. Now I am about to interview archer Kana′tĭ Gutadilago, who reached fifth place in the archery competition. We will get to that after a message from our sponsor, Zortech!" says Quiyakaso,
*Zortech ad plays with a message from billionaire Tsaliona Luuska and how Zortech is changing the technological world and pushing to change the world of space travel forever*
"Thank you for Tsaliona Luuska and Zortech for sponsoring our program! Now I am here with Kana′tĭ Gutadilago, our archer who won fifth place in the archery contest! Thank you for taking the time for this interview Kana′tĭ." says Quiyakaso
"It is my pleasure Quiyakaso, I may not be as well known as some of my fellow athletes but I am always happy to give some words to the press." says Kana′tĭ,
"Glad to hear that! Now how do you feel about making it to the top five of the archery competition?" asks Quiyakaso,
"It feels great to know that I was able to even do as well as I did! It was a lot of fun despite it being a bit nerve racking. I feel honored to have competed against such capable athletes and I congratulate Siminat Ayinde for winning first." answers Kana′tĭ,
"I am sure that they appreciate your praise. Now how has your family reacted to this, they must be proud of you."
"Yes indeed they are, they called me after the event and wished me congratulations on getting fifth. I am proud to have brought some honor to my family and to the people of Zoran."
*Quiyakaso nods*
"Now, after the event you were seen talking with a man in a suit who approached you from an alleyway. Do you have any explanations on what that was about?" asks Quiyakaso,
*Kana′tĭ begins to sweat*
"I-I don't know what you are talking about. I was at the bar with the other athletes, well except Hinola. She had to be escorted back to the hotel due to paparazzi swarming her despite her poor performance in the floor exercise. But she did spend a bit of time taking selfies with fans and signing autographs." Kana′tĭ says nervously,
"The people of Zoran want to know who that man was Kana′tĭ, just answer the question. While we all want to talk to Hinola you aren't her and I am interviewing you. So who was that man in this photo?" Quiyakaso says as he pulls up a photo of Kana′tĭ in a well hidden alleyway handing some files to a shadowy figure,
*Kana′tĭ tugs at his collar*
"It was uh my coach...yeah my coach! He wanted to see my practice records to see how I can improve for next time!" Kana′tĭ says nervously laughing in an odd pattern. Quiyakaso narrowed his eyes,
"Are you su-"
*Livestream cuts off saying all signal has been lost and an advertisement by AW Encrypted begins to play*
 

2 - 0 - 0
2 Novasamitans Get Gold!                   
In today's Canoe and Kayak Slalom events, two of our athletes, Pyter Kollen and Jan Rudek, succeeded in being barely quicker than the rest of the participating athletes, with Jan getting 85.03 seconds in Canoe slalom, and Pyter getting 84.99 in the kayak slalom. 
"Never thought I'd get that far," said Jan after being interviewed by Channel 5's team during the award ceremony. "Real great to win a medal for our country! Wish I could replay that moment of glory a hundred times!" He walked off being cheered by Novasamitans.
Pyter Kollen's inspiration was his father who taught him how to kayak. "He's in the ICU back in Novasamita right now, so I decided to lift his spirits by dedicating my win to him."
As of today, these are the only 2 medals Novasamita has so far. 
 
 

Day 1 of the Summer Olympics: A Tale of Chickens
Many Novasamitans are thrilled for this year's Summer Olympics, to be broadcast on Channel 2 and the Nysportessen channel. Novasamitan Airways reported a surge in flight bookings to Saint-Josalyn in the days preceding the opening ceremony, with about 50,000 in the span of 2 days. Novasamita's delegation arrived in Saint-Josalyn a day before the opening, looking forward to the Olympics.
The athletes waved Novasamitan flags as they went by during the parade of nations, but as the next team emerged, the delegation sent 50 chickens loose, causing quite a ruckus among the spectators and the next team. The athletes made a run for it as security guards were dumbfounded, and confused on what to do. As they hurriedly rushed to the exit in order to evade security, they released even more hens on the street, causing traffic jams and in some instances, minor collisions. The team agreed to pay reparations to authorities and apologized. They are currently staying in the east part of the city at the Kingdom Hotel, and they practice at a nearby gym facility.
The delegation is determined to bring pride and fame to Novasamita by winning as much medals as they can. Stadtholder Vredgaar has shown great support to the team and has sent regards to them. He is set to attend the entire event to cheer on the candidates. As of current, it is expected that there are 100,000 Novasamitans currently in Tara and Cambray to attend the Olympics, and the TV viewership in the duration of the event is expected to be nearly 5 million at best.

7 June 1420; 12 PM AMT; 
Zoranian Times Live!
*speaks in a whispering voice* "Good afternoon Zoran! It is I Winotlisa Austenaco and what you saw earlier today about a wig is definitely just a prank done by the editing team! I am currently in the athletes only area of the stadium where our athletes are currently practicing for their respective events. I can't be too loud or else I might get kicked out because unlike back home in Zoran, when a sign says 'Athletes Only' they will actually kick you out or send you to jail if they think you are a threat. It has been announced that the ACZ that today at 9:00 PM AMT there will be a large parade that will take up the whole main road of the city with confetti, cannons, a band, and-"
*Gets interrupted by a security guard*
"HEY! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING HERE!? GET OUT!"
"Well, looks like I got to run Zoran, time for me to perform my signature escape plan."
*Camera shows Winotlisa walking up to the security guard to talk to him and points to a spot on the security guards face before pulling out a handkerchief and covering the mouth and nose of the security guard rendering him unconscious. Winotlisa then drags the unconscious security guard and puts him in a locker before returning to the camera*
"Ok I am back people of Zoran, I will have to get out of here now but I will be back when the parade takes place! I will see you at 9:00 PM AMT!"
*Camera is lowered but is still recording*
"You did stop recording when I went to the security guard right?...No?!...What do you mean you recorded the whole thing!?...By the Spirit I need to hide because of your stupid mistake!...Give me the camera and the audio equipment I am going to have to continue alone to hide!...YOU DIDN'T STOP RECORDING AGA-"