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Davelands

Rigel's NSWF Speech - Emotional and Psychological Abuse

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Emotional and Psychological abuse- a form of abuse, characterized by a person subjecting, or exposing, another person to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.


In plain English, intentionally saying and doing things that will cause an emotional hurt, now or in the long run. 

I know what you're thinking, "If I saw someone being Emotionally abusive, I'd know.". And in most cases, you'd be right. The signs are, more often than not, plain as day. Belittling, making someone feel as if they're worthless. Tearing a person down and telling them that they'll amount to nothing. 

But it's the subtler signs that you see. A happy friend, closing down and becoming distant when their significant other walks in the room. Asking them for permission before doing simple, mundane tasks. 


Are you starting to get it now? Are you thinking back to those moments where a friend was silenced by a glance that always rubbed you just a little bit wrong. Someone laughing before looking guilty and muttering sorry while checking to make sure their Girlfriend wasn't angry. These are some of the more subtle signs. But sometimes these are the most damning. These are usually the ones that will happen in public, around friends and family. But just because they're not overt and in your face doesn't mean that they're any less damaging. Often times, these small glances in public lead to much harsher abuses behind closed doors. 

But what do you do? How do you help someone who is being Psychologically tormented? The easiest and most effective way, is to just be there for them. A friend, a family member, a classmate, a coworker. 

First things first. You have to remember, sometimes the person that's being abused doesn't even realize they are. It's common, more common than it should be in a modern society. But it's true. The excuses are usually "But he's just joking" or "She doesn't actually mean that, she just gets mad sometimes" or "They were just having a bad day"


And sometimes, in the worse cases, pointing out the abuse for what it is, can result it horrible situations. The Abused person pulling closer to their abuser, trying to prove that, "No, you're wrong, that's not abuse, I'm not a victim."

You aren't wrong. That is abuse. They are a victim. But shouting that at them till you're red in the face won't change anything.

Possible ways to show them:
Point out toxic relationships in media i.e. The Joker and Harley Quinn. The Dursley's 

Tell them of friends that were in Abusive relationships and how they got out of them.

Be consistent. Abuse is Abuse is Abuse no matter which way you spin it. Which way it is portrayed. How it's manifested. i.e. 50 Shades of Grey and the "Contract" between Christian and Anastasia.

But what about when they do know that they're in an Abusive relationship? Sometimes, in those situations, the abuse runs so deep that they just can't get out. Can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

In these situations, what you can do is find them safe places, environments where they can be safe. Be that at a family home, or a Domestic Abuse center. 


Emotional and Psychological abuse is a dangerous and terrifying enemy to fight. It leaves no visible marks, can show no bruises, but it cuts just as deep. 

The Victims can face a lifetime of mental illnesses: Anxiety, Panic disorder, Depression, and even Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 

It's scary, it's hard, and it happens every day. But we, as a community, can do our part to help the people around us. Know the signs, of both abuser AND victim. Know how to help when victim knows and when they don't. Be the Change. Be the person that people can turn to in times of need. It's only with education that this epidemic can be controlled. And it starts with one person, one voice. And it could be yours.

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