Announcement of the Treaty of Treasure Island (TWP and TNP)

[Logical Stimulus]

Ministry of Foreign Affairs Announcement

AVAST, ME HEARTIES!

Ahoy there, and welcome to Treasure Island! The resort and casino, not that other place. Now, you may be thinking, "Gee, a tacky overpriced hotel and casino? They just want to pillage my wallet!" Well, if you think that's bad, try getting actually pillaged by two inexplicably pristine centuries-old pirate ships. They sailed up to our fine establishment and promptly disgorged entire diplomatic teams wearing period attire who then sortied onto our property, swigged our grog, and plundered our freshly laundered towels.

It all happened so fast. One moment, we were pulling a rowdy customer off a slot machine. The next, the meanest buccaneer barge you've ever seen drops anchor right in front of the lobby. Apparently hailing from the West Pacific and led by one Captain Vara, that Spiced Crimson Rum-scented monstrosity's motley crew immediately set about commandeering our facilities for a "matey diplomatic summit" while their captain threatened to keel-haul anyone who didn't feel like talking about the Magnus Archives. Then they tossed the security guards in the brig and made the shift manager walk the plank, so it wasn't all bad.

"The Eye of the West" Captain Vara turned out to be pretty cool, even if his disembarkment cannonfire frightened the guests worse than a press-gang and made the concierge team want to sell their souls to Davy Jones' locker. But his lieutenants Ellis Na'Sov and Seafor were on a whole other level of barrel-chested depravity. No one expected a Pir.D. level of taste, but the constant shouts of "HOIST THE SAILS" and "SPLICE THE MAINBRACE" and "YAAARRRRR" were a bit much. If I had to hear another "MAN OVERBOARD" then Cabin Boy Breon wouldn't have been the only one going overboard.

That's when a Regular Old Non-Spiced Crimson Rum-scented frigate captained by Ruben Rawjaw of The North Pacific arrived. Imagine a swarm of smelly already-drunk brigands descending on a hotel lobby and tell me you aren't witnessing the skullduggerous end of society. Captain Ruben's lieutenants T. Lom, Connor McFred, and Coz Mick began mingling with their salty counterparts while first mate Mal Geist appeared out of thin air to unfurl the results of the pirates' parley and regale nearby tourists with sunken-eyed tales of dead albatrosses and an eternity of despair handling a feeder's foreign affairs.

While those pirates put on quite a show reviewing that tattered piece of parchment for any last-minute changes, their crews set about press-ganging the lot of us into their corsairing customs. Our appetizers were replaced with hardtack rations. There's a flogging square on the roof. Every nearby hotel agreed to purchase a barque. Instead of being lured by the siren song of gambling, our patrons are getting lured by actual siren songs. The swimming pool's now home to the Kraken, inflicting Neptune's terror on enemy vessels and guests on the diving board alike. And I think the Kraken has scurvy.

At least they brought out the good stuff to celebrate when, after many an "ARRRRR" of assent, The Accord of Treasure Island between The West and The North was finally signed by those salty dogs.

Quote

 

WHEREAS, the Signatories be both Feeder crews committed t' comin’ about when we be becalmed;

WHEREAS, the Signatories recognize an already strong bond through past 'n present chasing, crimping, and cracking Jenny’s tea cup, as well as o'er fourteen years o' continuously droppin’ anchor together;

NOW, THEREFORE, The North Pacific 'n The West Pacific (“the Signatories”) agree t' the followin':

Article I - Mutual Recognition
The West Pacific recognizes The North Pacific, represented by the Captain o' The North Pacific, as established under the Code o’ Conduct o' The North Pacific. The West Pacific will nah recognize any captain o' The North Pacific nah empowered by the Code.
The North Pacific recognizes The West Pacific, represented by Captain Varanius 'n his successors, as established under the Manners o' Governance o' The West Pacific. The North Pacific will nah recognize any captain o' The West Pacific other than dat o' Varanius 'n his chosen successors.
The Signatories will maintain thar established ports o’ call (i.e., on the NationStates land) 'n island hideouts (i.e., on thar respective regional waters) wit' each other.

Article II - Defense 'n Security
The Signatories will nah engage in any subterfuge, espionage, or scuttlebut against each other fer the purposes o' pilferin' booty or mutiny, as outlined in Article I.
The Signatories will nah engage in pillagin’ o’ boardin’ against one another. Participation on opposite sides of pillagin’ o’ boardin’ nah involvin' ships or ports owned, controlled, or otherwise protected by either Signatory shall nah constitute “engagin' in pillagin’ o’ boardin’ against one another” fer the purposes of dis parley. 
The Signatories will provide mutual defense t' one another in times of crisis, 'n may call on one another fer pillagin’ 'n/o’ strategic assistance in the event of an attack on thar crew. 
Whenever a Signatory discovers scuttlebut which may concern a credible threat t' the security of the other Signatory’s crew, said Signatory will provide all relevant information t' the concerned Signatory's captain. 
Any such intelligence will be kept strictly confidential 'n be shared only wit' those individuals necessary t' respond t' the threat, unless the other Signatory consents t' its release.

Article III - Communicatin’ 'n Cooperatin’
The Signatories recognize occasional differences in thar approach t' privateerin’, but will endeavor t' support each other wit' acts of pardon, distractin’ Jack Tar, supplyin’, and/or other such efforts insofar as thar interests align.
The Signatories will, from time to time, as be proper, splice the mainbrace, partake in square meals, and other activities fer the purpose of promotin' cultural exchange between their crews. 
The Signatories be encouraged to communicate and support one another through sharin' experiences and knowledge from captain to captain.

Article IV - Parley and Dissolution
This parley shall be bindin’ upon agreement by the captains o’ both crews. 
Both captains may parley again upon agreement. New guidelines shall be agreed upon and bindin’ in the same manner as dis parley.
If a Signatory believes dat the other Signatory may nah 'ave followed through or reneged upon the agreements set forth herein, it shall reach out and attempt to parley prior to dissolvin' the agreement.
In the event of a failure to parley, a Signatory may scupper the agreement, whereupon it shall cease to give quarter to either Signatory.

 

The West Pacific is delighted to announce the ratification of The Treaty of Treasure Island with our longtime partners in The North Pacific! Though we’ve maintained in-game embassies continuously for well over fourteen years, in the last few it has become clear that there are few more reliable companions in the world than TNP, and we’ve decided to take the leap of formalizing that commitment in the form of a treaty. The friendship between our regions goes back to the early days of NS, and even though there were some rocky times in the middle it is quite safe to say that over the course of history our two regions have been brought together by far more than that which separates us. Today we take the next step and make our commitment to each other known to the world.

TWP and TNP are united by a shared commitment to gameplay independence. Even as other old alliances have fallen apart in changing times, TNP remained a dependable partner in the war against the Brotherhood of Malice, first through the PPO and now in the Modern Gameplay Compact, through which it is safe to say that independent principles have become the driving force behind military and foreign affairs gameplay in the modern day. Even in arenas where we do not always align perfectly, such as the World Assembly, TNP’s leadership has demonstrated a willingness to be open, thoughtful, and constructive at all points. We hope that by formalizing our relationship in a treaty, this will only continue to grow. The influence of the independent position in gameplay will be further strengthened by the alliance of its two largest players in terms of WA votes.

Varanius, Delegate of the West Pacific

Logical Stimulus, Minister of Foreign Affairs

Noton Mast, Minister of World Assembly Affairs

Special thanks to Cretox for lending their creative writing skills.