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#MidwinterShenanigans TWP Chooses #5


Giovanniland

#MidwinterShenanigans TWP Chooses  

15 members have voted

  1. 1. Which year do you prefer?

    • 2022
      4
    • 2023
      11


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2022 was rather mixed personally for me. The wretched experience of ending up with an E and 2 U's when my best performance as proven by evidence is 2 A*'s and an A in sixth form, and the realization that my entrenched belief that the education system is not fit for purpose was entirely correct, was one of my least pleasant experiences in life. This is beaten only by those 10-11 years of relentless mental/verbal bullying with no help whatsoever, accidental pressure due to apparently having absurd intelligence and the times where I got apprehended simply for defending myself against clots (I can go into detail on this, I and my parents were quite unamused) who wished to interrupt my studying or beat me up for kicks that one time. This bullying occurred for essentially no reason other than my personality, and at the core, me being autistic. I researched my top performance rates and found that it was good enough for Durham University and even some courses as Cambridge University.

On the good end, I was finally able to overcome my past and allow myself to be, well, myself, a moment when I genuinely smiled (actually showed any real emotion) for the first time in months, possibly years, and almost ended up sobbing out of pure joy on the spot. It took the school's equivalent of a mental health clinic and over 1.5 years of the aftermath of said bullying to finally break down that emotional wall of ice that had formed. The big tell was that I was no longer forcing myself to adapt to everyone else, or seeming so cold-hearted (to the point where I became somewhat known for being intimidating in secondary school) and miserable all the time. I'm still cold as ice to almost everyone, but am rather soft around anyone I have an emotional bond with. Instead, it was more of an apathy to everything except myself, my desires and the very few people I cared about who I'd be willing to do next to anything for within logical reason. That, and an overwhelming shyness was being shown on the surface in a very subtle way. After all, I still don't express emotion very much, but now the little I do they are honest and genuine. I've also gained a habit of appearing out of nowhere and scaring people. More changes occurred as well.

There were other good and bad points as well, but the year was dominated by the aspects above. It's hard to tell how 2023 will be. It could be a good year, it could be a bad year. I'll go ahead and say 2022 will be seen as superior by 2023's end.

 

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