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FHAENGSHIA TAHDAONI AE ESFAERIADH

Fhaengshia Esferiad Committee

FHesferiad_400.png

From the grounds of the Grand Esferic Stadium in Downtown Quoriv, the same stadium where the whole of Esferos watched all the competing athletes in the grand opening ceremony, the Fhaengshian 4x100m Relay Run team got the nation onto the leaderboards. After days of nail-biting misses and disheartening mistakes and failures, the team of Laerets, Eshiwne, Mihrten and Cedroeh won not only a place on the podium, but are bringing back gold for the most gilt republic.

Laerets and Eshiwne had both suffered a lapse of concentration in the individual heats missing out on advancing, Mihrten had closely missed qualifying for the finals in the 110m hurdles which is his preferred event to the 100m run, and Cedroeh did the best of the delegation, but just missed qualifying in the individual heats. Together though, they made a resilient team which saw the fruits of their training together in the tropical heat.

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The Bauhaus Novel - Conversation Street - Episode 10: Not While There's Still Jelly Coursing Through These Veins! (DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: What...)

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Tonight, Jeremy revels in Richard's failure,

image.png.7e683ce47612e9b4ea9266fe2fa9b4a8.png

Richard convinces Ongo to hoard the waffles,

ClarkovWithABow.png.00bd9bb5b78aa4f14032e77187ff3ef3.png

and James shows us the last thing on his phone.

Rab44676142658e0add5c12b56b3f5a8f.png.b52fa34a59cca0d3daf7d96c39437875.thumb.png.1c7b8f8cbe3fb2e293c6fc2c80894220.png

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The Conversation Street jingle plays for the first time in a while. Here we see a truly stunning scene in the natural environment of the HNJEK Karventhin offices. The Orangutano Clarksonius and the Hamsteridae Hammonder are witnessed attempting to murder each other with a machine gun & a pistol respectively. The Spanielis Mayli has a knife in his head, yet miraculously still lives.

* = bad grammar on purpose to convey failure to pause in between saying words

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.25deb19bbc61def0c95ff79f4fedc71c.jpgJames May: I'm James May.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: I'mRichardHammond.*

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: I'm Jeremy Clarkson.

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.25deb19bbc61def0c95ff79f4fedc71c.jpgJames May: And this is 'The Last Thing On My Phone'.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: What is?

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.25deb19bbc61def0c95ff79f4fedc71c.jpgJames May: That's the name of the segment.

What Was The Last Thing On Your Phone?

John Kramer: So if you guys could look right into this camera here in the middle.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: [disturbingly focused]

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.25deb19bbc61def0c95ff79f4fedc71c.jpgJames May: Alright.

image.png.d1171e621b112654bb7d0c874a001cb1.pngRantaro Antonenko: What was the last photo you took?

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: It's my penis.

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.25deb19bbc61def0c95ff79f4fedc71c.jpgJames May: It's- it's my own trousers.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: Well this is your own...

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: I don't actually...

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: Am I allowed to show that?

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: That's something from our BBEK protest, it's our bus handcuff scene, it's he and James... touching each other.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: Well...

image.png.a08eeae1f30d8d35bc547418f40f66d2.pngJack Borisov: What was the last video you watched?

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Okay it's... ThouPorn, that's a ThouPorn, what was it?

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: Eheheh.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Oh god really? You w- oh.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: I'm in it.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Nobody wants to see that!

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: I'm in it.

image.png.fbeb33a15d7f2a1b6138f6d79e3e17d7.pngNaho Sotirova: What was the last thing you Googolplerxed?

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.25deb19bbc61def0c95ff79f4fedc71c.jpgJames May: Mine was Neimz.co.hj, trying to change the name of my email account, that's interesting isn't it? [rhetorical sarcasm]

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: I was looking for the Reçueçn embassy (in Cambria).

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.25deb19bbc61def0c95ff79f4fedc71c.jpgJames May: Wh- n- everybody knows that.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Wai- no, you've seriously had to Googolplerx where the Reçueçn embassy is?!

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: Do you wanna know what's even funnier?

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: What?

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: I didn't find it. I was on a motorcycle, I had to stop and just park it and got in a taxi and went 150 yards to it. I don't live in Great Parndon!

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Wh- you...

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.25deb19bbc61def0c95ff79f4fedc71c.jpgJames May: I also looked at the weather in Easfolk 'cause Hammond and I have to go there in a week.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Is it Hertfordshire and Jammbo?

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: It's snowing.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Is it autumn?

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.25deb19bbc61def0c95ff79f4fedc71c.jpgJames May: It's the north.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: It's snowing.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: It's snowing!

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Only he'd look that up.

image.png.9b0eb590488c7609aa6122c2ef97efd4.pngRococo Uradulov: What was your last text message?

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: It's my parole officer.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Mine is from my son, "quite good actually".

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.25deb19bbc61def0c95ff79f4fedc71c.jpgJames May: Mine was "f-ck off".

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: Can't tell you what mine was 'cause you'll just think I'm a f-cking twat.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: "Your helicopter is grounded this week", which means you have to go to Easfolk in your car. Hahaha.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: Haahaahaa!

image.png.e5384d81f46a977fdeed31a93c159e10.pngTanukichi Osis: How many alarms do you have set?

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: 3.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: 1.

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.25deb19bbc61def0c95ff79f4fedc71c.jpgJames May: I have 3.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: 06:17, 06:19, 06:20. I've got Fashion, Moving On & Kaleidoscope of Happiness.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Well my times are 5:00, 5:17, 5:30, 5:45, 6:00, 6:10, 6:30, 6:45, 7:00, 18:00, 18:58 & 19:55.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: Why have you left them all on?

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.40e50a89f8780bc962b892312619e2fd.jpgJeremy Clarkson: I might need an alarm at 19:55!

DisturbedHammond.jpg.f03e588fce4f4695f4925caf748cd22a.jpgRichard Hammond: Well you can always set another one!

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.25deb19bbc61def0c95ff79f4fedc71c.jpgJames May: I've got 07:01, 18:03 & 21:01. They are tagged Another Beginning, Cygnus & Get Up, F-ckface.

Will be continued in the next episode. Cheerio chaps!

 

Yeah, we didn't make an episode yesterday, we had no time as Clarkson & May were too busy laughing at Hammond's dismal failure to win gold for the second time. With all that being said in typical "I'll-blow-up-your-house-if-you-lose-this-bet" fervour, it is time to end. Of course we'll be back, we always are. You can never get rid of us! Well, unless John Kramer traps us or something. Now some say we thought Fujai was a hippie documentary, and that our internal organs are made from steel & ice. All we know is, we turned all your air conditioners to the lowest setting fellow Esferiad bodies!

LisaOnASugarHigh.jpg.e154fd4704a387330e2c8107133bfd4f.jpg

Goodbye & Goodnight everyone!

 

Day 10 Event Schedule (Already Gone)

Events/Ívents Athletes/Àølīts
Marathon Track Ongo Sidopliassova, Damian Haat, Zombina Zakharchenko
Field Javelin Throw Ryosuke Tīrelis, Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani, May Mykytyuk
Gymnastics Uneven Bars Chris Ostapenko, Futo Matvijchuk, Klaus Cīrulis, Niko Balodis
Badminton Singles Stage 1 Junko Varbanova, Konngara Adamov
Individual Foil Fencing Stage 1 Joseph Deeustä, Kirina Hadjiivanov
Water Polo Finals Hertfordshire & Jammbo Water Polo Team
Basketball Finals Hertfordia Basketball
Handball Quarter-Finals Hertfordia Handball Federation
Lacrosse Quarter-Finals Hertfordia Lacrosse
Indoor Volleyball Matchday 5 Hertfordia Volleyball Federation
Field Hockey Matchday 4 Hertfordia-Jammbo Hockey
Football Matchday 4 Hertfordshire & Jammbo Football Federation
Rugby Sevens Matchday 4 Hertfordshire & Jammbo Rugby Union

 

Day 11 Event Schedule (Coming Up)

Events/Ívents Athletes/Àølīts
Track Individual All-Arounds Nile Hadjiev, Lemres Romanov, Endeavour Medvid, Jotaro Kishishev, Gingka Hristov, Jeremy Clarkson, Afuro Tytarenko, Judai Yakymchuk, Tommy Venev, Lockdown Melngailis, Douglas Mednis, Shirou Fomenko, John Tinchev, Bello Jēkabsons, Miles Endziņš, Wales Chaban + Sophie Chaban + Giorno Giovranchev + Yuuma Novak, Ongo Sidopliassova, Damian Haat, Zombina Zakharchenko
Track Team All-Arounds Hertfordshire & Jammbo Track Athletics Team
Field Individual All-Arounds Ivo Rudzītis, Peko Pekyneva, Freddie Ṁḙkjeri, Ayame Kraule, Mamoru Endziņš, Yuuto Kreslīns, Shinji Ivanyuk, Yoshikage Kramlis, Quote HT, Franklin Chaban, Embry Balkanska, Eirin Yaneva, Ryosuke Tīrelis, Clarkov Jammbonevych Furutani, May Mykytyuk
Field Team All-Arounds Hertfordshire & Jammbo Field Athletics Team
Canoe-2 1,000m Sprint Gyro Zeidmanis + Johnny Deeustä
Gymnastics Parallel Bars Chris Ostapenko, Futo Matvijchuk, Klaus Cīrulis, Niko Balodis
BMX Cycling Rose Rysinov, Aran Rozītis
Kumite Karate Stage 1 Cain Myroshnychenko, Erhard Mykhalchuk
Individual Foil Fencing Finals Joseph Deeustä
Lacrosse Semi-Finals Hertfordia Lacrosse
Indoor Volleyball Matchday 6 Hertfordia Volleyball Federation
Field Hockey Matchday 5 Hertfordia-Jammbo Hockey
Football Matchday 5 Hertfordshire & Jammbo Football Federation
Rugby Sevens Matchday 5 Hertfordshire & Jammbo Rugby Union

 

20200303_210432.thumb.png.efe1716c0917261c537bceee49f8314d.png.85295bc7e321f55230c1e902222e9b81.png   20200602_203726.png.2f4f4ca9b866b1d9dbce57b6f4f053e8.thumb.png.007faa2e74fdcc260c5dd209be91b03b.png   20200602_203620.png.b848a9273be3bbb2b57dd1aff329e915.thumb.png.327069931501916109cb3aafda1cc992.png   1261065204_HJCoatofArmsDraft.thumb.png.b16eb4ce4c8d843d6fea5fb8b2c04d6d.png

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Giovannilandian Esferiad Report - 10th Day
16 Gold - 13 Silver - 13 Bronze

Sports Report Newsroom, Giovannistadt—8:00 AM International Atomic Time, 4th November 1421

Good morning Giovanniland! I am Carlos Nakamura-Edristyn, the host of the Giovannilandian Esferiad Report. There's lot to talk about today, especially since Giovanniland continues its streak of earning many medals and today has brought two golds, one silver and one bronze, staying at the top of all medal rankings. Of course, we'll review the events of yesterday and talk about the upcoming ones, starting with Kharventhin.

There were few events with Giovannilandian participation in Kharventhin, only two team events. In the Matchday 5 of Indoor Volleyball, Giovanniland showed a strong performance against Fhaengshia and contines unbeaten at the top of Group B. As for the gold medal match of Water Polo, Giovanniland beat Hertfordshire and Jammbo with a score of 11-6, bringing the first gold from a team sport. It's worth noting Giovanniland got many of its seven medals of the I Summer Esferiad in team sports, and continues to perform well at them in home soil, so let's hope the teams bring home many more medals!

It was a more eventful in Quoriv, with Giovanniland getting three medals in these events. The gold came from the Marathon, specifically from Clementine Ulunboryn, who finished the run after two hours, eleven minutes and eight seconds, while Catia Terra Arberend finished 5th and Sergio Maldonado-Violet finished 6th. In the Javelin Throw, athletes Rafaela Ulysses-Tavalian, Augusto Glendurianth, and Sebastian Rwemendyn all competed, with Augusto achieving 3rd place and a bronze medal, as Rafaela and Sebastian finished 6th and 7th respectively. The other athletics events was Gymnastics Uneven Bars featuring Luciano Annabelle-Taspein, Solange Souza Kandray, Silvana Mantovani, Isaias Delchiaro-Varenbert, and Romeo Saramay Mateus; only Isaias reached the final but ended 6th of 8 athletes.

The Badminton Singles had its first stage take place today, and the good news for Giovanniland is that Lorena Suleyman and Cesar Khuilash-Joaquim have both qualified for the quarterfinals! Kyra Sonsyrenne also participated, but did not get past group stage. In team sports, the last matchdays for Handball and Lacrosse, and Giovanniland won against United Adaikes in both, namely with scores of 31-24 and 18-5. Field HockeyFootball, and Rugby Sevens all resulted in wins for Giovanniland as well: 2-0 against Dalimbar, 3-0 against Tupmonia, and 33-7 against Fhaengshia respectively. Last but not least, the Giovannilandian Basketball faced Cambria in the gold medal match—it was a very close game, but our team eventually lost 67-84 to the Cambrians, with strong performances on both sides nevertheless.

All in all, we can say that the 10th day was a pretty good one for our nation! Giovanniland continues on the lead in both gold and total medal rankings. Our neighbors Blue Bubble remain in second for total medals (32), although they have been surpassed in Nieubasria by gold medals, Blue Bubble with 10 and Nieubasria with 11 specifically. Other strong teams have been Hertfordshire and Jammbo, with 7 golds and 18 medals; and Cambria, with 5 golds and 15 medals. Anyways, since we're 2/3 of the way in the Esferiad, the Giovannilandian Esferiad Report has decided to update its table of each continent's performance, sorted by gold medals, and with parentheses indicating medals gained since our previous census:

Nation Gold Silver Bronze Total
Aura
Giovanniland 16 (+9) 13 (+8) 13 (+6) 42 (+23)
Blue Bubble 10 (+3) 14 (+3) 8 (+1) 32 (+7)
Orandia 2 (+1) 0 5 (+4) 7 (+5)
Saint Mark 1 5 (+3) 5 11 (+3)
Santos-Dominius 1 1 (+1) 2 (+1) 4 (+2)
Arifiyyah 0 0 0 0
Dilber 0 0 0 0
Fuentana 0 0 0 0
Aura 30 (+13) 33 (+15) 33 (+12) 96 (+40)
Andolia
Hertfordshire and Jammbo 7 (+1) 5 (+2) 6 (+2) 18 (+5)
Larxia 3 (+1) 0 6 (+3) 9 (+4)
Fhaengshia 1 (+1) 0 0 1 (+1)
Tupmonia 0 0 1 (+1) 1 (+1)
Nagaraningrad 0 0 0 0
Andolia 11 (+3) 5 (+2) 13 (+6) 29 (+11)
Polaris
Nieubasria 11 (+7) 12 (+6) 7 (+4) 30 (+17)
Tara and Cambray 5 (+3) 7 (+4) 3 (+2) 15 (+9)
Fujai 1 1 (+1) 1 (+1) 3 (+2)
Teralyon 0 1 0 1
United Adaikes 0 0 2 (+1) 2 (+1)
Dalimbar 0 0 0 0
Polaris 17 (+10) 21 (+11) 13 (+8) 51 (+29)
Total
Aura 30 (+13) 33 (+15) 33 (+12) 96 (+40)
Polaris 17 (+10) 21 (+11) 13 (+8) 51 (+29)
Andolia 11 (+3) 5 (+2) 13 (+6) 29 (+11)
Doll Guldur 0 0 0 0
Esferos 58 (+26) 59 (+28) 59 (+26) 176 (+80)

As we can see, Aura continues to dominate all rankings, with over half of both gold (54.55%) and total (51.72%) of awarded medals going to Auran athletes. It also earned exactly half of all medals given since our last review. Polaris has advanced to second, spearheaded by the neighbor nations of Nieubasria and Cambria, and built a fair lead over Andolia—the two continents have 17 and 11 gold medals, and 51 and 29 total medals respectively. Notably, competing nations Fhaengshia and Tupmonia have earned their first medal in the last 5 days as well, so congratulations to them! Moving on, we have something new, namely an all-time medal ranking, of course sorted by gold medals too. Note that nations not participating in the II Summer Esferiad are marked in italics, while those making their international Esferic debut this edition are marked with an asterisk. Here we go!

Rank Nation Gold Silver Bronze Total
1 Nieubasria 22 23 14 59
2 Giovanniland 17 17 15 49
3 Hertfordshire and Jammbo 15 16 15 46
4 Tara and Cambray 12 15 18 45
5 Blue Bubble* 10 14 8 32
6 Saint Mark 9 5 6 20
7 Novasamita 8 1 2 11
8 Zoran 7 6 12 25
9 Fujai 5 9 6 20
10 Teralyon 5 7 2 14
11 Bobki 5 0 1 6
12 Marble Mallorca 4 3 3 10
13 Larxia 3 1 10 14
14 Irador 2 5 3 10
15 Orandia* 2 0 5 7
16 Southern Lavender Island Peoples 1 3 2 6
17 Fuentana 1 2 2 5
18 Santos-Dominius* 1 1 2 4
19 Eastern Lavender Island Peoples 1 1 0 2
20 Fhaengshia* 1 0 0 1
21 Reçueçn 0 4 2 6
22 United Adaikes* 0 0 2 2
23 Tupmonia* 0 0 1 1
24 Arifiyyah* 0 0 0 0
25 Dalimbar* 0 0 0 0
26 Dilber* 0 0 0 0
27 Nagaraningrad* 0 0 0 0
Continents
1 Aura 54 49 53 156
2 Polaris 44 58 44 146
3 Andolia 21 22 29 72
4 Doll Guldur 12 4 5 21
Total 131 133 131 395

In the individual all-time rankings, it can be seen that the top 5 countries—Nieubasria, Giovanniland, Hertfordshire and Jammbo, Tara and Cambray, and Blue Bubble—have all had over 10 gold medals so far across both editions, with the 2nd to 4th countries pretty close to each other. Nieubasria, Hertfordshire and Jammbo, Tara and Cambray all have had good performances in both Esferiads so far, while for Giovanniland, who sent a small delegation last time, most medals have been earned during the current Esferiad. Finally, closing the top 5, we have Blue Bubble, that has made an awesome debut in the Esferiad this year.

As for continent rankings, it can be seen that Aura and Polaris are the sporting powerhouses of Esferos. Polaris dominated the I Summer Esferiad of Saint-Josalyn, while Aura has been dominating the II Summer Esferiad of Quoriv and Kharventhin, and in the end the two performances of each almost even out—Aura and Polaris only have a difference of 10 in both gold and total medals. Home advantage could also be seen as a factor, especially since the continent hosting each Esferiad has been the one prevailing in that edition, although two events is a pretty small sample. In third comes Andolia, with a decent amount of 21 gold medals and 72 total, while in last comes Doll Guldur, from which two countries participated in the I Summer Esferiad (earning 12 gold and 21 total medals) but none in the second.

Following this retrospective and statistics, it's now time to talk about future events, and there are many of them tomorrow! In Kharventhin, Giovannilandian athletes will only appear in the Matchday 6 of Indoor Volleyball, as the nation did not enter any athlete for the Canoe-2 1000 m Sprint, Karate Kumite and Fencing Foil events. Meanwhile, the events in Quoriv will be:

Track Team All-Arounds and Field Team All-Arounds featuring all Giovannilandian participants of athletic events;
BMX Cycling featuring Paloma Albuquerque, Stefan Lavrendal-Quoryn, and Liana Vankhangir; 
Finals of Badminton Singles featuring Lorena Suleyman and Cesar Khuilash-Joaquim;
Gymnastics Parallel Bars featuring Luciano Annabelle-Taspein, Solange Souza Kandray, Silvana Mantovani, Isaias Delchiaro-Varenbert, and Romeo Saramay Mateus;
Semifinals of Handball, Semifinals of Lacrosse, Matchday 5 of Field Hockey, Matchday 5 of Football, and Matchday 5 of Rugby Sevens (team events);

That is the schedule for the eleventh day of Esferic events! You can watch them on the channels 201 to 210, and for members of our monthly subscription, we also have recordings in our website sportsreport.com.gl/esferiad/ii/events if one isn't able to check them live. See you tomorrow for another report!

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SUMMER ESFERIAD DAY 11

 

Good day everyone. It's already 11th day of Summer Esferiad. And today,we have a big news for you! 

One from two Arifiyyah gymnastics athletes qualified to semifinal,and ended up at that stage,meanwhile in field team all-around event Arifiyyah ended the game in 11th place.

 

Arifiyyah Field Hockey Team successfully become Group A champion and qualify to quarterfinal,after won their last group match against Dalimbar 3-1. "The first match, we lost. Now, we are the group champions! Tomorrow’s quarterfinals, we will do our best to win this match, against the Blue Bubble. Keep supportimg us,Arifians!" Said the national team's captain, Faisal Saari.

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Field Hockey quaterfinal games

 

And also in the football stadium,the Orangutan Rangers secure their quater final ticket,after got a close win against Tupmonia. "They're doing really good. Unfortunately,we need to play with 10 players on last 30 minutes after the reff gave a red card to Harry Kane,our important striker. I've change the formation and tactics,but nothing much happened. However,we already won it. Just wanted to say i won't be able to do press, we're gonna starts training hard. We're gonna try our best to win this game, because last tie we met H&J FA on the World Cup,and we win the game. So we need to win this to go to the semifinal." Ong Kim Liau during the post-match interview.

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Arifiyyah will facing Hertfordshire and Jammbo in the quaterfinal match.

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The boys celebrating the win 

 

And this is the biggest news for today,2 medals in Badminton single event. 1 gold from Afeeq Nasrullah and 1 bronze from Chia Jun An! "I am very proud to be the first medalist of Arifiyyah! Me and Jun An almost cry,when we see the Arifiyyah flag,heared our anthem in Esferiad. Very unlucky that i need to faced my own friend again,but today's in semifinal. I already said to Jun An,who go to the final must grab the gold,and loser must win the bronze ;)*laughs*. And we actually did it! We wish goodluck to Arifiyyah doubles athletes,get atleast a medal to us!" Afeeq Nasrullah said to the reporter. We also heard that Sultan Arif Nazhim Shah,want to meet both them today.

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Singles Badminton results

81453640575_LeeChongWei.jpg.f4e9f5a751f5580a93839e6e7017ebc9.jpgAfeeq Nasrullah and Chia Jun An after semifinal match

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Afeeq after won the gold medal match

 

And here is the latest ranking of medals collected sort by most gold

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Giovanniland still on top of the hill,with 19 gold,15 silver and 15 bronze. And Nieubasria on the 2nd place with 12 gold,14 silver and 8 bronze. Meanwhile Arifiyyah in 11th place,after collected 1 gold and 1 bronze today! Congratulations to Afeeq Nasrullah and Chia Jun An,on their achievements today. And good luck to all athletes that will be play tomorrow.

That's all for today, see you next time!

 

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Giovannilandian Esferiad Report - 11th Day
19 Gold - 15 Silver - 15 Bronze

Sports Report Newsroom, Giovannistadt—8:00 AM International Atomic Time, 5th November 1421

Good morning Giovanniland! I am Carlos Nakamura-Edristyn, the host of the Giovannilandian Esferiad Report. And today, I'll start by saying that Giovanniland earned a total of 7 medals, tying the record set in the 4th Day—and even better is the fact that three of those were gold medals as well, widening our lead in both rankings. I'll talk about the events that made this possible and the other ones as well.

In Kharventhin, the only event with Giovannilandian participation was Indoor Volleyball, in which the team won against Larxia three sets to zero, and finished the group stage with a total of 18 points. This has of course earned Giovanniland a place in the quarterfinals, where the team will face Dalimbar. Other team events happened in Quoriv, with other group stages also coming to an end. In Field Hockey, our team drew 2-2 with Nieubasria and finished 3rd in Group A, with an upcoming duel against Hertfordshire & Jammbo. Football also saw Giovanniland advance to the knockout stage, finishing strong with a 3-1 win over United Adaikes; the Giovannilandians will now meet the Dilberians in the quarterfinals. Finally, the Rugby Sevens group stage also ended yesterday. Giovanniland beat Nieubasria 26-20 to qualify, and will now play against Cambria next. 

At the same time, other team sports had their semifinals happen yesterday. One of them was Handball, in which the Giovannilandians won 26-22 against the Larxians and earned a place in the gold medal match, to play against Nieubasria tomorrow. Another was Lacrosse, in this sport Giovanniland was defeated by Nieubasria with a score of 11-9, and will now fight against Dalimbar for the bronze medal. Finally, the Track Team All-Arounds and Field Team All-Arounds competitions also happened and featured all Giovannilandian participants of athletic events. Our nation was very strong in these two events, winning with scores of 125 and 194 respectively, and bringing two more gold medals home—for those wondering how this event works, teams are ranked by performance across various events, with 10 points for each event's first place, 9 points for second place, and so on.

Three individual events also happened in Quoriv. Gymnastics Parallel Bars featured Luciano Annabelle-Taspein, Solange Souza Kandray, Silvana Mantovani, Isaias Delchiaro-Varenbert, and Romeo Saramay Mateus; with Isaias, Romeo and Luciano all qualifying for the final. Isaias finished 3rd, thus achieving a place in the podium!  In the Stage 2 of Badminton Singles, Lorena Suleyman and Cesar Khuilash-Joaquim both met in the semifinals, with Lorena winning the match. Lorena then lost the final to Afeeq Nasrullah from Arifiyyah, while Cesar did not manage to earn the bronze medal, as he was defeated by Chia Jun An, also from Arifiyyah. Finally, in the BMX Cycling event, the athletes Stefan Lavrendal-Quoryn, Paloma Albuquerque, and Liana Vankhangir all participated. They dominated the finals and finished 1st, 2nd and 3rd respectively, bringing Giovanniland three medals and a podium sweep—an awesome performance! 

With three matchdays left in the Esferiad, we continue our program by talking about future events! In Kharventhin, Giovannilandian athletes will only appear in the Quarterfinals of Indoor Volleyball, as the nation did not enter any athlete for the Kayak-1 200 m Sprint, Karate Kumite and Boxing Heavyweight events. Meanwhile, the events in Quoriv will be:

Golf featuring Vanessa Desniowynsk (our former reporter!), Norberto Merent-Blacksmith, and Leandro Girveandre;
Mountain Biking featuring Tamara Altada-Linhares, Antonieta Arruda-Kandray, and Margareth Fernandes;
Gymnastics Rings featuring Luciano Annabelle-Taspein, Solange Souza Kandray, Silvana Mantovani, Isaias Delchiaro-Varenbert, and Romeo Saramay Mateus;
Finals of Handball and Lacrosse, as well as Quarterfinals of Field HockeyFootball, and Rugby Sevens (team events);

That is the schedule for the twelfth day of Esferic events! You can watch them on the channels 201 to 210, and for members of our monthly subscription, we also have recordings in our website sportsreport.com.gl/esferiad/ii/events if one isn't able to check them live. See you tomorrow for another report!

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Estates-Minister Portfolios

   Estates-Ministers are appointed by the Prince to administer various executive functions or bodies such as the Public Service. Estates-Ministers are considered Plenipotentiary (of the Prince) over their portfolio, and serve as members of the Preifat at the pleasure of the Prince. 

   The Estates-Minister of Hier traditionally has the privilege to recommend individuals for certain Estates-Minister portfolios, which tend to be members of their party/coalition’s Hier delegation or prominent figures. Other portfolios are directly chosen by the Prince (marked with *), including those in relation to the royal household.

  • Estates-Minister of Hier
    • The Hierminister customarily receives this appointment from the Prince
  • Estates-Minister for the Overthere
    • Purview over Foreign Affairs and Policy, also some defunct historical duties 
  • Estates-Minister of Public Purse
    • Effectively a Finance Minister, in charge of government finance, monetary policy, and treasury 
  • Estates-Minister of The Prince’s Peace*
    • Law enforcement, prisons and probation, matters of national security, and domestic surveillance 
  • President of the Estates-Treasury
    • Chair of the Treasury Quorum of the Preifat, accounting for the state’s fiscal operations, operationalizing policies and programs approved by Preifat by providing agencies with necessary resources. 
  • Estates-Minister of Astorian Union*
    • Implementation of policies and delegation to the Astorian Union; assumes the traditional “foreign affairs” role in relation to the United Kingdom of Tara & Cambray 
  • Estates-Minister of Health and Social Care
  • Estates-Minister of The Prince’s Civil Officers   
    • Civil Services and Procurement, administration of non-security and non-defence related civilian officers (HR) 
  • Estates-Minister of Defence*
    • Limited since the Prince retains direct control of the Armed Forces as Commander in Chief, has general control over civilian staff, research and development, and a hand in defence policy - usually held by a retired Officer
  • Estates-Minister of Labour
  • Estates-Minister of Industry 
    • Includes Industry and Business, particularly in regards to regulation and promotion of business/commerce 
  • Estates-Minister of Public Safety
  • Estates-Minister of the Frontier
    • Responsible for border security, border police, immigration, claims of conquest (defunct), settlement of unincorporated areas, and co-heads the Customs and Excise Quorum with E-M of national Revenue
  • Estates-Minister of Natural Resources
  • Estates-Minister of Social and Family Development
  • Estates-Minister of Public Infrastructure
  • Estates-Minister of Transport
  • Estates-Minister of National Revenue
    • Administration of tax law and collection, co-heads the Customs and Excise Quorum with E-M of the Frontier
  • Estates-Minister of Census*
    • The Census, issuance of National Census IDs, and Elections Basria
  • Estates-Minister of Husbandry and Tillage
  • Estates-Minister of Sport and Tourism
  • Estates-Minister of International Trade
  • Estates-Minister of Education
  • Estates-Minister of Eternalities*
    • Headed by the Chaplain to the Prince - general spiritual welfare and reflection of Tamaric values in government
  • Equerry-Personal to The Prince*
  • Equerry-Steward of Royal Household*
  • Equerry-Keeper of Prince’s Purse*
  • Equerry-Director of Public Trust*

 

Current Estates-Ministers

Estates-Minister of Hier - Jur.Keegan Kohl
Estates-Minister for the Overthere - Jur.Cerdik Sperys
Estates-Minister of Public Purse - Jur.Winifred Heffernan
Estates-Minister of The Prince’s Peace - Esq.Cadogan Ayers
President of the Estates-Treasury - Jur.Elain Thomas
Estates-Minister of Astorian Union - Esq.Adhamh Ferrer
Estates-Minister of Health and Social Care - Jur.Ava Lewis
Estates-Minister of The Prince’s Civil Officers - Jur.Ester Noguera
Estates-Minister of Defence - Esq.Aris Taudhail
Estates-Minister of Labour - Jur.Andrei Cairdha
Estates-Minister of Industry - Jur.Constantin Erwin Hummel
Estates-Minister of Public Safety - Jur.Aislin Byrne
Estates-Minister of the Frontier - Jur.Madhis Dur Irvon
Estates-Minister of Natural Resources - Jur.Hailwic Elva Powell
Estates-Minister of Social and Family Development -  Jur.Tamara Kenn
Estates-Minister of Public Infrastructure - Jur.Aiden Clercse 
Estates-Minister of Transport - Jur.Astorina Tierney
Estates-Minister of National Revenue - Jur.Maxen Wieren
Estates-Minister of Census - Esq.Tudur Wolter
Estates-Minister of Husbandry and Tillage - Jur.Bryn Preiour
Estates-Minister of Sport and Tourism - Jur.Owaina Nerys
Estates-Minister of International Trade - Jur.Lyda Veith
Estates-Minister of Education - Jur.Cerridwen Blanid
Estates-Minister of Eternalities - Esq.Iwan Jones
Equerry-Personal to The Prince - Esq.Radulf Brannon-Burke
Equerry-Steward of Royal Household - Jur.Tegan Serra
Equerry-Keeper of Prince’s Purse - Esq,Eirlys Aldricmund
Equerry-Director of Public Trust - Esq.Aideen Prinsen


*every Estates-Minister, as a member of Preifat receives the “PC” postnominal honourific

 

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Giovannilandian Esferiad Report - 12th Day
21 Gold - 15 Silver - 17 Bronze

Sports Report Newsroom, Giovannistadt—8:00 AM International Atomic Time, 6th November 1421

Good morning Giovanniland! I am Carlos Nakamura-Edristyn, the host of the Giovannilandian Esferiad Report, and today I'll talk about the Esferic events as usual—reviewing the ones that happened yesterday, and then briefly talk about the ones starting soon today. Giovanniland earned 4 medals yesterday and crossed the 50 medal milestone, so there's lots to talk about!

Just like the previous matchday, the only Kharventhin event with Giovannilandian participation was Indoor Volleyball, in which a close match against Dalimbar with sets of 26-24, 25-14, 18-25, 24-26 and a tiebreak of 15-11 gave our team the victory. The semifinal match will now be against our Blue Bubble neighbors! Knockout stages for other team events also happened today—for example, the Giovannilandian Field Hockey team went past Hertfordshire and Jammbo with a 5-3 score, the Football one beat Dilber 1-0, and the Rugby Sevens one won 24-12 against Cambria. Both the Field Hockey and Football teams will meet Nieubasria in the semifinals, while the Rugby Sevens one will play against United Adaikes.

Furthermore, two other team events also had their final matches take place yesterday. The Handball game saw Giovanniland win against Nieubasria with a very close score of 29-27. As for the Lacrosse team, after they lost the semifinal in a close match against Nieubasria, they fought Dalimbar in the bronze medal match and won with a score of 18-6! These two sports each gave Giovanniland one medal, while the two other medals from the day came from the Gymnastics Rings event featuring Luciano Annabelle-Taspein, Solange Souza Kandray, Silvana Mantovani, Isaias Delchiaro-Varenbert, and Romeo Saramay Mateus. Isaias, Luciano and Romeo all advanced to the final, and were ranked 1st, 3rd and 6th respectively! And even though Romeo did not win a medal, he did set a new Esferic record of 16.500 in the semifinals, so congratulations to all these athletes.

Two other events also happened in Quoriv with Giovannilandian participation. The first one was Mountain Biking, featuring Tamara Altada-Linhares, Antonieta Arruda-Kandray, and Margareth Fernandes. None of them reached the podium, but Tamara and Margareth came very close, finishing 4th and 5th with times of 2:00:58 and 2:01:22 respectively! Sadly, Antonieta did not manage to finish, but all mountain bikers performed well nevertheless. The other was Golf, which featured Vanessa Desniowynsk, Norberto Merent-Blacksmith, and Leandro Girveandre. Vanessa, a known athlete and this program's former main reporter, finished in 6th place with a score of 77 (note that smaller scores are better in golf). Meanwhile, Leandro and Norberto both tied for 15th place in the end, with a score of 82.

With two matchdays left in the Esferiad, we continue our program by talking about future events! In Kharventhin, Giovannilandian athletes Yolanda Fagundes-Thuryn, Italo Hayes-Rossi, and Benedito Kherynvan will appear in Shortboard Surfing, and our team will appear in the Semifinals of Indoor Volleyball. The other Kharventhin events, namely Canoe-1 Slalom, Boxing Heavyweight, and Badminton Doubles events, do not have participation from our nation. Meanwhile, the events in Quoriv will be:

Semifinals of Field HockeyFootball, and Rugby Sevens (team events);
Road Cycling Time Trial featuring Umberto Winters-Gutenberg, Priscilla Linhares Vidal, Manuella von Violetshire, and Tadeu Rwemenbert;
Track Cycling Individual Sprint featuring Alessandra Kanashiro, Vinicius Garavand-Silva, Cristiane Ermendea Amaral, and Fernandino Quardinbert;
Gymnastics Vault and Individual All-Arounds featuring Luciano Annabelle-Taspein, Solange Souza Kandray, Silvana Mantovani, Isaias Delchiaro-Varenbert, and Romeo Saramay Mateus;

That is the schedule for the thirteenth day of Esferic events! You can watch them on the channels 201 to 210, and for members of our monthly subscription, we also have recordings in our website sportsreport.com.gl/esferiad/ii/events if one isn't able to check them live. See you tomorrow for another report!

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Tupmonia Strikes Gold

Just after Tupmonia surprised itself with a Bronze medal, Jill Comb shocks the world with her gold medal in golf. Jill came into the contest as a major underdog, being considered the “worst” golfer of her teammates, and one of the least skilled entering the contest. Jill surprised the crowd and put on a show, leading to her gold medal. 

Jill spoke to the reporters in tears saying, “This is the greatest moment of my life… nobody expected me to do this, but my teammates had faith in me and pushed me to be the greatest I could possibly be…FOR TUPMONIA AND FOR THE KING!”

 

In other sports Tupmonia took their second straight win in Indoor Volleyball. Tupmonia also won in Field Hockey. Tupmonia also took their 4th straight loss in Football.

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The Bauhaus Novel - Conversation Street - Episode 11: The Last Thing On My Phone

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Tonight, Jeremy revels in Richard's failure,

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Richard convinces Ongo to hoard the waffles,

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and Clarkov shows us what he was wearing during Javelin.

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The Conversation Street jingle plays for the first time in a while. Here we see a truly stunning scene in the natural environment of the HNJEK Karventhin offices. The Orangutano Clarksonius and the Hamsteridae Hammonder are witnessed attempting to murder each other with a machine gun & a pistol respectively. The Spanielis Mayli has a knife in his head, yet miraculously still lives. Also, hooray for recycling previous intros!

Continued from the previous episode.

 

image.png.e792c0897bea443485102db786a16519.pngMakoto Nankov: What is your most frequently used emoji?

DisturbedHammond.jpg.a0fb72177d385815110090d8353419a7.jpgRichard Hammond: I have never used an emoji ever.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.c2885599a4618425ae8bd7b4325287e3.jpgJeremy Clarkson: I don't use, ever, emojis.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.a0fb72177d385815110090d8353419a7.jpgRichard Hammond: Me neither, I never use them. It's just inappropriate! It just feels wrong to be using an emoji, I don't feel like I should. James, you have used emojis.

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.4f2ba3d22ecafe208719dbe7448ee4b1.jpgJames May: I have. I've, er, only ever used the thumbs up one occasionally because you can do it in lots of different colours, it's very right on. So you can have it all the way from sort of pasty Northern Polaris to, you know, somebody from New Velka, you've got all shades of person.

image.png.148fabec8c64fbfaf0e0dcf874ab60e3.pngDio Burluka: What music are you listening to?

ClarkovWithABow.png.c46fbcc97ede8eff0d750ba679c80e68.pngClarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: I've got the MBTI as Instrumental Music Collection by Natalya, er, some medieval music, two anime albums and... that's all off the same album, that's just my special occasions material.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.c2885599a4618425ae8bd7b4325287e3.jpgJeremy Clarkson: [confused and displeased grimace]

DisturbedHammond.jpg.a0fb72177d385815110090d8353419a7.jpgRichard Hammond: When did he get here?

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.4f2ba3d22ecafe208719dbe7448ee4b1.jpgJames May: Not a clue, but his music taste is strange.

ClarkovWithABow.png.c46fbcc97ede8eff0d750ba679c80e68.pngClarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: I... thought I was alone. 

DisturbedHammond.jpg.a0fb72177d385815110090d8353419a7.jpgRichard Hammond: You can stay if you want, since you're here now.

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.4f2ba3d22ecafe208719dbe7448ee4b1.jpgJames May: Fine by me.

ClarkovWithABow.png.c46fbcc97ede8eff0d750ba679c80e68.pngClarkov Jammbonevych Furutani: [soft smile]

image.png.fd7178803858a522479df51f0f5a8455.pngFaust ḨarełeudeiemWhat was the last note you wrote to yourself?

DisturbedHammond.jpg.a0fb72177d385815110090d8353419a7.jpgRichard Hammond: "Tamara Davies died. Off continent, look back & do all we can. Tamara Davies still died. We are what we are in a time we can conceive and measure." Utterly meaningless...!

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.c2885599a4618425ae8bd7b4325287e3.jpgJeremy Clarkson: "The Stig's Doll Guldurian cousin, something to tell us?" "Yes diarrhoea, c) pick on people in bins." I suspect it was- there was a story that The Stig's Doll Guldurian cousin was joining the Esferiad. They got a photograph of maybe a sign-up document as the Postcard Online called it, they'll have gone 'something to tell us Doll Guldur Stig?' and it would hold up a sign saying 'Yeah, I've got diarrhoea. Just got a bit of a bloated engine, I'm going to have a big sh-t in a minute'. F-cking Postcard Online.

image.png.a9a2d5a8f178d5e5bb5eda9416472794.pngThe Stig: ... .... ...... ...... .. ... ..... [Translation: How many unread emails do you have?]

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.4f2ba3d22ecafe208719dbe7448ee4b1.jpgJames May: 111,672.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.a0fb72177d385815110090d8353419a7.jpgRichard Hammond: I've got just 2.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.c2885599a4618425ae8bd7b4325287e3.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Here's my inbox.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.a0fb72177d385815110090d8353419a7.jpgRichard Hammond: That's a lot of unread.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.c2885599a4618425ae8bd7b4325287e3.jpgJeremy Clarkson: All of them are unread. So if you're watching this Faust Ḩarełeudeiem, Karen Kovalenko, Suu Strashilova, Mizore Savenko, Enrico Priedītis, Armando Slobodyan, Chara Dreimanis whoever you are, Kou Kovalchuk, Embry Balkanska, Ongo Sidopliassova, Shirou Fomenko, Lemres Romanov, Sentinel Putniņš, Ryo D. Lait, Mečislavs Deben: unread!

[Clarkson & Hammond burst into laughter]

DisturbedHammond.jpg.a0fb72177d385815110090d8353419a7.jpgRichard Hammond: Yeah you should probably try a bit harder there.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.c2885599a4618425ae8bd7b4325287e3.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Oooh- that's a bit embarrassing. [still laughing during sentence]

 

Yeah, we didn't make an episode yesterday, again, but we do have a habit of this now. Perhaps we should try and make more time to do these. Besides, some say that 

Goodbye & Goodnight everyone!

 

Day 12 Event Schedule (Already Gone)

Events/Ívents Athletes/Àølīts
Kayak-1 200m Sprint Roger Runcis, Bunta Furman
Mountain Biking Cycling Mečislavs Deben, Jataro Koks
Golf Dynamis Dudka, Emporio Aspers
Gymnastics Rings Chris Ostapenko, Futo Matvijchuk, Klaus Cīrulis, Niko Balodis
Heavyweight Boxing Stage 1 "Scatman" John Lapsiņš, Vector "Prime" Putniņš
Kumite Karate Finals Cain Myroshnychenko, Erhard Mykhalchuk
Lacrosse Finals Hertfordia Lacrosse
Field Hockey Quarter-Finals Hertfordia-Jammbo Hockey
Football Quarter-Finals Hertfordshire & Jammbo Football Federation
Rugby Sevens Quarter-Finals Hertfordshire & Jammbo Rugby Union

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.4f2ba3d22ecafe208719dbe7448ee4b1.jpgJames May: Why are we showing events that have already happened without showing the upcoming events too?

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.c2885599a4618425ae8bd7b4325287e3.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Because we'll get those upcoming events in the next episode or fall asleep trying.

 

20200303_210432.thumb.png.efe1716c0917261c537bceee49f8314d.png.540ae44db92cf4453419d33fe63d2fe5.png   20200602_203726.png.2f4f4ca9b866b1d9dbce57b6f4f053e8.thumb.png.c41a990841895a9375ad3bc0113ed52f.png   20200602_203620.png.b848a9273be3bbb2b57dd1aff329e915.thumb.png.f27dd541c4a90c16819bc4242f587bd7.png   1508919692_HJCoatofArmsDraft.thumb.png.e7d74d27eabf7402a0d6659000aa1f16.png

 

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Vrosa, Athurelia Province, Giovanniland—13:20 PM International Atomic Time, 5th November 1421

The Altada-Silva family had just finished their lunch for the day, after the two brothers Augusto and Joachim had a busy day of class at Empress Clementine High School of Vrosa.

"I've got all of our things ready for our trip to Quoriv for this weekend," told Martin to his wife Angela. "Do you as well, darling?"

"Yes," she answered. "I'll call the children. Augusto, Joachim, let's go!"

Augusto was of course playing a game in his phone, while Joachim was reading the second part of the Lord of the Necklaces trilogy, but the two wanted to watch some Esferic events again so they quickly went to the car.

"Today we'll travel the same 50 kilometers between Vrosa and Quoriv, but without stopping for lunch, so it should hopefully take less time for us to arrive," thought Martin.

"An hour and a half or so," said Angela.  

The family took a different, less crowded route this time, as there were many Giovannilandians traveling to Quoriv to see some of the games in the final matchdays. It was commonly known as the Palm Tree Road, due to the common occurrence of these trees, and passed west through Bwaryk and then north to Quoriv instead of the traditional Urythburg route.

"This landscape is very beautiful indeed," thought Joachim to himself.

In 40 minutes they were at Bwaryk, passing through the downtown of the city with 60 thousand inhabitants. Although one of the smaller city capitals (nearly the same size as the second largest city of its Desniowana Province, Talyanares), it was certainly lively. Near the outskirts of Bwaryk was the Desniowana Golf Course.

"Look, the golf competition is happening right now! I can see our athletes Vanessa Desniowynsk, Norberto Merent-Blacksmith, and Leandro Girveandre," remarked Angela.

"Hopefully they're performing well, I wish we could watch this as well," said Joachim.

"Same, but then we wouldn't have time to watch the upcoming football match against Dilber," noted Augusto.

"Yeah... let's give goodbye to them and continue our journey!", told Martin.

Quoriv, Edristania Province, Giovanniland—15:00 PM International Atomic Time, 5th November 1421

Another 40 minutes and they arrived at Quoriv. The Edristanian Stadium, in which the Giovanniland v. Dilber game would happen, was on the western part of the city. It would start at 15:30 PM, so the family had arrived half an hour earlier.

Many seats were already occupied by Giovannilandians, Dilberians, and some football fans from other countries. The game was about to start, with the Giovannilandian squad almost the same as during the 1st World Cup of Football. Some rising stars from local associations were also brought in, replacing some of the older players.

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Giovannilandian National Football Team
(Giovannilandian: Giovannilandiana Equipa Nacionalia di Calcio) 

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Home Stadium: Harvonian Arena, Giovannistadt
Managers: Samantha Candaluvro, Theresa Alves-Uryth  Coaches: Rodrigo von Violetshire, Tania Abrantar

Name Gender  Age  Position Home City
Main Players
Clovis Espindola Male 26 Goalkeeper Urythburg
Leticia Kandray Female 23 Center Back Candaluvro
Theodoro Sonsyrenne Male 19 Center Back Talyanares
Catia Schaefer-Taspein Female 22 Left Outside Back Giovannistadt
Farlina Boaventura Female 27 Right Outside Back Violet Harbor
Lourenço Sancho Smith (C) Male 29 Defending Midfield Anneville
Gabriela Orpheus Female 25 Center Midfield Amorante
Augusto Uprines-Antenor Male 20 Attacking Midfield Lavenderay
Gustavo Goethe Zapata Male 20 Striker Giovannistadt
Pedro Takeda Male 21 Striker Giovannistadt
Clementine de Abreu-Floryn Female 22 Striker Quoriv
Backup Players
Carlos Abrant-Borban Male 19 Goalkeeper Uprinopolis
Oscar Lavandula Male 25 Goalkeeper Quoriv
Wanda Urythbert de Sousa Female 23 Goalkeeper Markopolis
Valkyria Merent-Blacksmith Female 26 Goalkeeper Giovannistadt
Jessica Aurandolia Female 22 Center Back Arveredo
Rodolfo Glendurianth Male 24 Center Back Rimekalyn
Manuella Jacques Female 25 Center Back Violet Harbor
Thomás Arruda Myint Male 22 Center Back Violetburg
Adelaide Teixeira-Tavalian Female 24 Left Outside Back Anneville
Conrado Trieste Male 25 Left Outside Back Anneville
Tamara Altada-Linhares Female 30 Right Outside Back Violet Harbor
Valdomiro Amdo-Gyamtso Male 29 Right Outside Back Urythburg
Xerxes Ximenes Male 24 Defending Midfield Arlavonte
Arabella Vieira Nyima Female 27 Defending Midfield Bwaryk
Geraldo Hatyanunik-Elyse Male 25 Center Midfield Gautchenia
Henrique Lavrenbert Male 21 Center Midfield Hatianuna
Jurandir Liangzhou Male 24 Attacking Midfield Vrosa
Lorena Suleyman Female 23 Attacking Midfield Serobergia
Christina Upandhya Female 23 Striker Rimekalyn
Sonia Belchior-Violet Female 25 Striker Alchemaro
Dario Fernandes Male 25 Striker Urythburg
Ivone Rossi-Belchior  Female 27 Striker Arlavonte
Manuel Kharventhin-Derval Male 22 Striker Elysthin
Thais Teixeira-Zarya Female 28 Striker Giovannistadt

The referee then called the two captains, including Lourenço Sancho Smith from Giovanniland, and flipped a coin to decide the team that was going to start.

Then the game started, with the two teams looking for opportunities and fiercely attacking each other. The Giovannilandian squad was using a 3-3-4, after all.

"I think our team should quickly make a goal or two, and then defend for the rest of the game, since the Dilberians are known to purely attack," thought Augusto.

And indeed that happened. Striker Gustavo Goethe Zapata scored Giovanniland's first and only goal of the match with only 10 minutes in, although during the rest of the first half many failed opportunities from both sides also happened. It was a very dynamic and active game, and the family watched closely.

During the second half, however, a change in pace of the game then ensued, as Giovannilandians switched to defense—striker Clementine de Abreu-Floryn was replaced by center back Thomás Arruda Myint, who also had played in the 1st World Cup of Football.

"Ugh, this is turning into something pretty boring," said Augusto some minutes in. "I wish this could also be like some other matches, such as our 3-0 against Tupmonia or 3-1 against United Adaikes."

"Actually," remarked Joachim, "I think this is a good strategy. Giovanniland will face either Fujai or Nieubasria in the semifinals, and it's good to save some stamina."

"Looks like Nieubasria, they're winning 3-0," added Martin.

"Fair enough," said Augusto. 

The rest of second half was pretty uneventful, although at the end of the match, the family and the other Giovannilandian fans were happy to see the team win.

"Hurray! I just researched, looks like Giovanniland has also won in other team events like field hockey, rugby sevens, and indoor volleyball," told Augusto.

"Don't forget handball!", replied Angela. "Our team has just won the gold medal by 29-27 in a close match against Nieubasria."

"I wish we could've watched that as well, sadly it started half an hour earlier than this football match and finished a while ago now," thought Martin.

Quoriv, Edristania Province, Giovanniland—17:30 PM International Atomic Time, 5th November 1421

The family then left the Edristanian Stadium, soon driving to the Hydrangea Hotel. It was a comfortable but not very expensive hotel in Quoriv, and had some nice hydrangea flowers around the building for decoration, therefore giving it the name.

A traditional northern Giovannilandian dinner awaited them, and for the rest of the evening they watched the recording of other events, such as the Gymnastics Rings event in which Isaias Delchiaro-Varenbert and Luciano Annabelle-Taspein had achieved gold and bronze medals for the nation respectively.

They all awaited for the next day, yet to decide the events to watch and other things to do in Quoriv. "Let's think about that tomorrow," told Martin and Angela. "Good night all!"

"Good night," Augusto and Joachim repeated in unison, and everyone in the family went to sleep.

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Hierminister Hereward's statement on the accessibility of free menstrual products in all state-operated schools across Nieubasria

Statement | North The High | November 5, 1421 | Hierminister for state of Education, Adela Hereward, issued the following statement:

"Not having the ability to access menstrual products makes it hard to fully participate in school. I want to make sure that young girls have every opportunity to thrive in school and are not limited by factors they can't control.

With the generous attention and fast-tracking made possible by Estates-Minister of Education Blanid, to promote and uphold sexual and reproductive health and rights, we will make access to menstrual products free for all students at state operated schools across Nieubasria. All students in state-operated primary and secondary schools and in select state-operated Universities and colleges schools across Nieubasria will have access to free menstrual products in the coming weeks. We will work with partners and consult with communities to ensure that menstrual products are available to all students who need them. We will share more details on this initiative in the following weeks.

Menstrual products are a basic need and are essential to ensure a person's full participation in school, work, and society. I am fully committed to making these vital products readily available and to supporting girls across the country."

For more information, media may contact: Adrienne Griffin, Press Secretary to the Hierminister for state of Education at adrienne.griffin@hier.nb

Assault of staff member at Eldric Bay Institution

News release | Eldric Bay | November 4, 1421 | Correctional Service Basria, Agency of the Estates-Ministry of The Prince's Peace

On November 4, 2021, at approximately 4:15 pm, a staff member was assaulted at Eldric Bay Institution, a multi-level security state penal institution. The injured staff member was evaluated and is currently being treated at an outside hospital. 

The assailant has been identified, and the Special Police Penitentiary Squad are presently investigating the incident.
Correctional Service Basria (CSB) will also investigate the circumstances of this incident and continue to work with the police. The safety and security of CSB staff, and the public remains the highest priority in the operations of the federal correctional system.

For more information, media may contact: Mich Schraeder, Regional Director North of Correctional Service Basria at regional.north@csb.nb

Government of Nieubasria invites small businesses to develop an artificial intelligence decryption service

News release | Clarendon | November 4, 1421 | Innovation, Science and Economic Development Basria, Agency of the Estates-Ministry of Industry

The Government of Nieubasria is looking for innovative ways to help Basric businesses succeed. Today, Innovative Solutions Basria launched a new challenge led by the Prince's Special Police (PSP).

Along with other Basric law enforcement agencies, the PSP is facing challenges in accessing encrypted data seized during the course of criminal investigations. Individuals engaging in illegal behaviours have been using sophisticated encryption techniques to bypass legal prosecution. The PSP is looking for an artificial intelligence decryption system that can process the seized data files and generate specific word lists to try and access the encrypted material.

Quick facts
Small businesses will have until December 20 to apply to the challenge.

Through the Innovative Solutions Basria program, government departments are inviting small businesses to come up with a new innovative product, service or solution that answers a specific challenge they face. Winning small businesses may receive up to 750,000฿ to refine their research and development and, if accepted into phase 2, receive up to 5฿ million to develop a working prototype. The government can then act as a first customer, helping these businesses commercialize their innovations, scale up their business and create secure middle-class jobs across Astoria.

Innovative Solutions Basria is a key component of the government-in-Hier’s Innovation and Skills Plan, a multi-year plan to make Basria a global innovation leader and prepare all subjects to succeed in tomorrow’s economy.

There are hundreds of programs and services that offer everything from funding to expert advice in order to help businesses innovate, create jobs and grow Basria's economy. Using a simple, story-based user interface, the Innovation Basria platform can match businesses with the most fitting programs and services in about two minutes.

For more information, media may contact: Dana Thraeb, Senior Press Secretary for Innovation, Science and Economic Development Basria at dana.thraeb@government.nb

Kurabis-based wellness company geared toward seniors to pay 950,000฿ for violating telemarketing rules

News release | Clarendon | November 3, 1421 | Basric Radio and Telecommunications Commission (BRTC), Agency of the Estates-Ministry of Public Infrastructure

The BRTC today announced that Kuradiffusion Inc has agreed to pay a 950,000฿ penalty as part of a settlement for making non-compliant telemarketing calls. The Parducze, Kurabis-based company, more widely known as DiffusariKo, specializes in the direct sale of wellness products geared toward seniors.     

The investigation uncovered that DiffusariKo committed several violations of the Unsolicited Telecommunications Rules between September 1418 and October 1419. During that period, millions of unsolicited calls were made to Basrians– some of which were made to telephone numbers registered on the Statutory Do Not Call List (SDNCL) and outside of the permissible calling hours. Some calls were also made during periods when the company failed to purchase a subscription to the Statutory DNCL. The company enlisted the services of call centres based in Santos-Dominius and Deneiria. 

Basrians who think the telemarketing rules are not being followed can submit a complaint to the BRTC.

For more information, media may contact: Basric Radio and Telecommunications Commission at public.concerns@brtc.nb

 

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Treint- "And there is a good chance that we will see the Astorian teams directly against one another in the finals either the Gold or Bronze match - something not seen even in the first Summer Esferiad OR the World Cup of Football."

Mona- "Everyone at home, please don't forget that the only team able to get in a goal against the Cambrians, or I should say Keller, at the World Cup before the semi-finals was the Basric Nationals under Earc Velding. The Larxians eventually broke the charm, leading them to face the Nationals in the finals- was it Velding or some greater Astorian juju dispelling the mystifying streak?"

EXCERPT - SIGN IN FOR FULL ARTICLE

                              

Today in Quoriv, Vivien Sampaio the Gymnastics Nieubasria posterwoman has announced her retirement from organized gymnastics. This comes just weeks after she says her doctors confirmed her pregnancy. 

Esferic Quorum doctors advised Vivien to not compete in such strenuous activity as this level of athletics poses. This may have contributed to her standings when compared to the first Esferiad. 

Gymnastics Nieubasria has expressed their best wishes as Vivien completes these games and in all future endeavours.
She and her partner, Estael intend to focus on their family in the coming months. 

 

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HEADLINES–DAY ELEVEN

- Orandia places seventh in the track team all-around, but places third in the field all-around with 68 points. 

Jules Beaufils scores a 14.275 on the parallel bars, failing the qualifier along with Celeste Blanc, who scores 14.150.

Lisa Zenik and Roméo Azaïs nearly sweep the podium, earning gold and silver respectively with scores of 15.550 and 15.525, also respectively.

- The Orandian indoor volleyball team wins against Hertfordshire and Jammbo, earning them a spot in the quarterfinal.

 

Commentary for Day Eleven and projections for Day Twelve are unavailable, due to reasons completely unrelated to the new smash-hit Fletnix show "Octopus Contest." Any following italicized portions also bear no relation.

 

HEADLINES–DAY TWELVE

Celeste Blanc scores a 14.100 in the gymnastics rings semifinal. Jules Beaufils scores 14.400, and Lisa Zenik scores 14.725.

Roméo Azaïs finishes fourth in the final, narrowly missing out on a medal with a score of 15.350. 

- The Orandian indoor volleyball team triumphs against Larxia in the quarterfinals.

 

COMMENTARY

"Good evening once again, Orandia! I'm Lex Lascar, as always, and we appreciate your patience with us yesterday. We were, ehm, short a few marbles. But we are here today with gold-medal gymnast Lisa Zenik! While her fellow gymnast Roméo Azaïs has managed to earn several medals in several events under the very broad umbrella of gymnastics, he has yet to earn a gold. Now, Lisa, I couldn't help but notice how calm you looked on the parallel bars yesterday. What's your secret to keeping calm, so you don't crack under pressure?

Lisa: "Honestly? I don't mind crowds when I perform. I know some people don't like it, or block it out, but I like to hear people cheering. In fact, I told the other gymnasts to cheer extra loud when I was up. It's really motivating for me."

"I know I, for one, enjoy a good cheer directed at me. But in the semi-final round, you were in the last qualifying spot. I, and I'm sure all of Orandia, was worried you wouldn't get the green light to continue. What factors do you think contributed to that 15.1?"

Lisa: "I had a new, unique technique I used on the uneven bars, but it didn't quite go perfectly, and I didn't get any medals for it. So my coach and I decided to apply what we could of it for the parallel bars, instead. It takes awhile to adjust a routine like that, and it was very risky, but go big or go home, right? So my head wasn't fully in it for the semifinals, and I didn't get off the bars quite right. But I felt much more confident when I did it for the finals."

"I can't imagine the skill it takes to change a routine so quickly. You must have felt like there was a tug-of-war between your old habits and the new ones. But you prevailed! Now that Roméo isn't the only Orandian gymnast with a medal, how are conversations with your fellow gymnasts going these days?"

Lisa: "I've definitely rubbed it in his face. But then he tells me he can't hear me over his three medals. I think Celeste and Jules are a little jealous of the both of us, although Jules is better at not showing it. I hope they get medals at some point, too. They've definitely trained hard enough to earn one."

"And that's all we have time for today! Thank you for answering my questions, Lisa. I'm going to go watch the last episo–I mean, the last Esferiad events of the day! I'll see you next time, Orandia, and have a good night!"

 

LOOKING AHEAD–DAY THIRTEEN

- The Orandian indoor volleyball team plays against the United Adaikes in the semifinal.

- Orandia's four gymnasts participate in the vault event.

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An Invite has been sent to all Athletes and their Teams in and traveling to Kharventhin759759983_PurpleandWhiteIllustratedFloralWreathWeddingInvitation(1).thumb.png.e638a143021aaa586b5f6b967723b9a2.png

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"Well, Paul, it was a good showing ... not what we had hoped, of course, but respectable. I just wish we had been able to pull off one more Gold."

"You personally did much better than last year, sir, but I know what you mean ..."

Clarkson filled their drinks from an antique crystal decanter.

"Maybe we'll make a big push for next year ... recruit athletes in more fields, work hard all year ... maybe even attempt to host ... we'll see. I know it's not that important in the grand scheme, but ..."

"I know," smiled Paul. "Here's to letting things bother us unnecessarily."

The Prince laughed. "Yes, to needless angst and to next year!"

 

"

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The Bauhaus Novel - Conversation Street - Episode 12Esferiad Burst!

Rab44676142658e0add5c12b56b3f5a8f.png.b52fa34a59cca0d3daf7d96c39437875.thumb.png.83ce3d197dcc5e91e67ddb4a25d222fa.png

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Hello everyone and welcome to a new episode of The Bauhaus Novel.

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.5a2eedb26bd527acabb2ea376e9b1928.jpgJames May: Indeed, welcome to what we hope will be a return to normal episodes. Well, as normal as us three can be.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.4c3739b0165137709f4612ebca1c499f.jpgRichard Hammond: Yes we shall, however now it's time to realize that there is no tent of chat, on the field of debate, just outside of Conversation Street!

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The jingle we all know and love plays. This time, Clarkson drops an anvil on May to no effect. We are receiving a sense of Deja Vu here.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.4c3739b0165137709f4612ebca1c499f.jpgRichard Hammond: How did that not phase him?

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: I don't know. It's completely baffling.

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.5a2eedb26bd527acabb2ea376e9b1928.jpgJames May: You know I'm not really sure how myself.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Well let's not get bogged down in whether James is even human, let's address the elephant in the room.

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.5a2eedb26bd527acabb2ea376e9b1928.jpgJames May: Good point! So, Hammond, what do you mean there's no tent?

DisturbedHammond.jpg.4c3739b0165137709f4612ebca1c499f.jpgRichard Hammond: The HNJEK are rather unhappy with us for constantly missing deadlines and so they've decided to lay a penalty on this show.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: What kind of penalty?

DisturbedHammond.jpg.4c3739b0165137709f4612ebca1c499f.jpgRichard Hammond: Did none of you notice that we are outside doing this?

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.5a2eedb26bd527acabb2ea376e9b1928.jpgJames May: Cock. I wondered why that was the case.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.4c3739b0165137709f4612ebca1c499f.jpgRichard Hammond: So basically we've been evicted from our news offices.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Well I think we all know, in the audience, who is to blame for our predicament.

[In no time at all, the audience via a tally chart on the only piece of technology left to the boys showed  that May was clearly the blamed.]

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.5a2eedb26bd527acabb2ea376e9b1928.jpgJames May: Hang on a minute, why am I being blamed here?!

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Well, the athlete roster was 3 days late.

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.5a2eedb26bd527acabb2ea376e9b1928.jpgJames May: You can't tell me that was the sole reason you have blamed me.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: To be honest we're only doing it because you're the slow one, so if we pin it on you, me & Hammond don't get any flack and the viewers at home would see common sense in the reason.

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.5a2eedb26bd527acabb2ea376e9b1928.jpgJames May: I'm a scapegoat then.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Exactly.

anime_quote__283_by_anime_quotes_d7qzag2-fullview.thumb.jpg.7bc0bbdbbbead1a1a443ea25c789b7e9.jpg

Wholesome, if slightly confusing, online picture that the S.O.D.O.F.F contained.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.4c3739b0165137709f4612ebca1c499f.jpgRichard Hammond: On the subject, what are we going to cover in today's episode?

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Erm, that's a good question.

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.5a2eedb26bd527acabb2ea376e9b1928.jpgJames May: I'm not really sure. But I got these signs.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.4c3739b0165137709f4612ebca1c499f.jpgRichard Hammond: Yes, those will help us.

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.5a2eedb26bd527acabb2ea376e9b1928.jpgJames May: We hold them up and whoever can fit three TV hosts into their car can take us straight to that afterparty that the rest of the HNJEK, all 150+ athletes, are joining.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Yes, yes! I forgot about that.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.4c3739b0165137709f4612ebca1c499f.jpgRichard Hammond: Mecislavs & Clarkov will be there too, the Tsar told me via email.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Why didn't Jammbonevych Furutani email us?

DisturbedHammond.jpg.4c3739b0165137709f4612ebca1c499f.jpgRichard Hammond: You realise that boy is probably the most naturally nervous & shy person at this Esferiad outright, I'm guessing.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: My bad for not noticing sooner. Also, he is rather cold to people.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.4c3739b0165137709f4612ebca1c499f.jpgRichard Hammond: He's cold to pretty much anyone due to reasons mentioned earlier, but as Adaikesian President Salazar showed when he brought the topic of autism acceptance to the table, it is not impossible to get Clarkov to open up although it is a difficult & slow process.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: One thing's for sure, that boy no matter how naturally shy or nervous he is has no shame at all.

DisturbedHammond.jpg.4c3739b0165137709f4612ebca1c499f.jpgRichard Hammond: His special occasions drawer that sits adjacent to his Javelin Throw gold & silver medals tells all. Fanart, actual pictures of athletes, fanfiction, AB/DL, Age Regression, Yaoi/B.L., Bondage, a model train, memes, ships (not the sailing kind), the list goes on.

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: No no wait, Yaoi/B.L.?!

DisturbedHammond.jpg.4c3739b0165137709f4612ebca1c499f.jpgRichard Hammond: I thought that was rather odd considering that the Prime Minister is as asexual as he is autistic which is very much so.

78f.png.cd1666d107e07246ea64dbd07383a7dc.pngbeyblade___excalibur_by_slumberpoppy_d2vq39n-fullview.jpg.03f4300a54944822c14dacb4bb40d602.jpgninoarttrade4_by_tamaeftt_d7sqaa7-pre.thumb.jpg.5002da4b5144fa6743a01a682a2e570c.jpgMizore-G120.jpg.ef06dd41ee2744b17fc7dbb202ee8170.jpgunchosen_angel___damian_heart_by_chocoholicmello_d4xdjce-fullview.thumb.jpg.9ef7ca0dc49d1fafec720bf4794339d9.jpgjelly_jamm__music_you_me_meet_kiss_more_watch_by_tdendybibiana_d5nkciy-fullview.thumb.jpg.cf5a30610d14c50a767264afd9694c54.jpg4d_105_003.thumb.png.a280ea1951692dafa61dcbfb44e9a205.png

More stuff found in the S.O.D.O.F.F., this time Jammbonevych Furutani personally allowed us to show these ones. Miracles, though we're not sure they're good ones. Also, what did Enrico ruin?!

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.5a2eedb26bd527acabb2ea376e9b1928.jpgJames May: Oi! Get out here you idle sods!

DisturbedHammond.jpg.4c3739b0165137709f4612ebca1c499f.jpgRichard Hammond: Coming James!

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: It looks like that's all we have time for. If this isn't the final episode for the current Esferiad the next one will be. Now before we go I'd like to announce that Jammbonevych Furutani has told us three privately that he is thinking of having Hertfordshire & Jammbo lodge a bid to host the third Esferiad. Let's make it happen people, get to convincing him to go through with it. Oh and convince the Verkhovna Anglia while you're at it. This would need to be voted through.

4912.jpg.bd23a8a6dd7d2341787b544410d67bef.thumb.jpg.5a2eedb26bd527acabb2ea376e9b1928.jpgJames May: CLAAAAARKSOOOOOOON!!!

72a5eb1a7243ea0176f23a6bd52ed35072-23-jeremy-clarkson_2x.rhorizontal_w710.jpg.a0bddbb31f039d9be82194cc71a87969.thumb.jpg.63ccdcd31caeded36ffdcfa582d9467e.jpgJeremy Clarkson: Oh sh-t! Alright, have a skit we put together. Until next time everyone, goodbye!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oo18OQPrOI

The little skit that the trio put together. Ambitious but successful, not a phrase you hear about these three often. Or ever.

 

Day 13 Event Schedule (Already Gone)

Events/Ívents Athletes/Àølīts
Canoe-1 Slalom Yoshika Melngaile, Kanako Yanchuk
Road Time Trial Cycling Lilith Myroshnychenko, Maxie Valchev, Diego Adamov
Track Sprint Cycling Nahyuta Seržants, Seiya Nikolov, Chara Dreimanis
Shortboard Surfing Markus Vasev, Masamune Karapetrov
Gymnastics Vault Chris Ostapenko, Futo Matvijchuk, Klaus Cīrulis, Niko Balodis
Gymnastics Individual All-Arounds Chris Ostapenko, Futo Matvijchuk, Klaus Cīrulis, Niko Balodis
Badminton Doubles Stage 1 Pluto Ḣeidïz + Rago Nesterenko, Sig Chornyj + Leone Avramenko
Individual Sabre Fencing Stage 1 Manfred van Kirilova, Enrico Priedītis
Heavyweight Boxing Finals "Scatman" John Lapsiņš
Rugby Sevens Semi-Finals Hertfordshire & Jammbo Rugby Union

 

Day 14 Event Schedule (Final Day! Coming Up)

Events/Ívents Athletes/Àølīts
Kayak-1 200m Slalom Mukuro Ishchuk, Sachiko Sheremet
Track Team Sprint Cycling Mary Hadjieva + Galeem Gaismas, Julian Kynev + Shinmyoumaru Sotirova
Gymnastics Team All-Arounds Hertfordshire & Jammbo Gymnastics Team
Badminton Doubles Finals Pluto Ḣeidïz + Rago Nesterenko, Sig Chornyj + Leone Avramenko
Rugby Sevens Finals Hertfordshire & Jammbo Rugby Union

 

20200303_210432.thumb.png.efe1716c0917261c537bceee49f8314d.png.287c438406bad4197826be6e2a698c0a.png   20200602_203726.png.2f4f4ca9b866b1d9dbce57b6f4f053e8.thumb.png.2407791f01780c56c10c897ff38d3a9d.png   20200602_203620.png.b848a9273be3bbb2b57dd1aff329e915.thumb.png.17083f4e9d5febda5d03d9b5ac61963e.png   590499430_HJCoatofArmsDraft.thumb.png.e0ecab9b8db11c9e469790c9ac25c83e.png

 

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Giovannilandian Esferiad Report - 13th Day
24 Gold - 19 Silver - 20 Bronze

Sports Report Newsroom, Giovannistadt—8:00 AM International Atomic Time, 7th November 1421

Hello there! I am Carlos Nakamura-Edristyn, the host of the Giovannilandian Esferiad Report. Yesterday was a wonderful day for our nation, as it beat the record of 7 medals set in the 4th and 11th days, and surpassed it for a total of 10! Just like Blue Bubble's performance in the 2nd d ay that also earned them 10 medals, that is the most medals a nation has gained in a single day. Three golds, four silvers and three bronzes were earned yesterday, and I'll of course talk about the events that made this possible and the other ones as well.

Starting with Kharventhin, two events with Giovannilandian participation happened there. One of them was Shortboard Surfing, featuring Giovannilandian athletes Yolanda Fagundes-Thuryn, Italo Hayes-Rossi, and Benedito Kherynvan. All of them advanced to the quarterfinals, but then Italo was eliminated at that stage. Yolanda and Benedito then met at the semifinals, the former going to the gold medal game and the latter to the bronze medal one. Then, Benedito won against Xolani Kariuki from Blue Bubble and earned a bronze medal, while Yolanda lost to Phoebe Aishi-Smith from Santos-Dominius but nevertheless achieved a silver medal. The other event was Indoor Volleyball, in which we defeated our neighbors Blue Bubble at their own home three sets to one, and will now play against United Adaikes in the final.

In Quoriv, seven events happened. In the semifinals of Field Hockey and Football, both Giovannilandian teams met the respective Basric ones, and two very close matches with almost the same scores happened. Both of them saw each team score twice in normal time, then no changes at extra time, and then a penalty shootout happen to decide the winner. The Giovannilandian football team won the shootout 5-4, while the field hockey one also did win but with a score of 4-3. Funnily enough, both teams will now face Cambria in the fight for gold, and both Cambric teams had won against the Arifiyyah ones to arrive in the gold medal match. What a strange coincidence! Anyways, for the finals, we'll see if an Astorian revenge or a Giovannilandian triumph (or both!) happen—vote in our daily poll to let your opinion be known!  

Meanwhile, in the Rugby Sevens semifinals, Giovanniland sadly lost 12-24 to United Adaikes, but can still win a medal, as it will face Nieubasria in the bronze medal match. Moving on to individual events, Road Cycling Time Trial saw the participation of Umberto Winters-Gutenberg, Priscilla Linhares Vidal, Manuella von Violetshire, and Tadeu Rwemenbert. Giovanniland dominated the podium, with Tadeu, Priscilla and Umberto ranked 1st, 2nd, and 3rd respectively! As for the Track Cycling Individual Sprint, the athletes Alessandra Kanashiro, Vinicius Garavand-Silva, Cristiane Ermendea Amaral, and Fernandino Quardinbert participated. Alessandra and Fernandino failed to advance past the quarterfinals, finishing 7th and 8th, while Vinicius and Cristiane faced each other in the semifinals. Cristiane then went on to the final and earned a silver medal after losing to Seiya Nikolov from H&J, while Vinicius did not get any medal as he lost to Lucy Collins from Nieubasria.

Furthermore, two gymnastics events happened today besides the cycling ones. Gymnastics Vault and Individual All-Arounds both featured the athletes Luciano Annabelle-Taspein, Solange Souza Kandray, Silvana Mantovani, Isaias Delchiaro-Varenbert, and Romeo Saramay Mateus. Romeo and Isaias performed very well in both, the former setting a new Vault record and of course winning gold, and the latter achieving bronze. The tables turned for the individual all-arounds, as Isaias came first due to excellent performances in Balance Beam and Rings, finishing with 48 points, whereas Romeo's great Vault performance and good scores in the other events gave him 42 points and a silver medal.

After our retrospective, we will talk about the events in the last matchday of the Esferiad. Yes, it's already coming to an end, but there are still many Giovannilandian athletes to watch in the last day! In Kharventhin, our delegation will be present at the Closing Ceremony, while the Indoor Volleyball team will participate in the finals. There are also the Kayak-1 200 m Sprint, Badminton Doubles, and Fencing Sabre events, but no athletes from our nation will be playing. Meanwhile, the events in Quoriv will be:

Track Cycling Team Sprint featuring the pairs of Fernandino Quardinbert/Vinicius Garavand-Silva and Cristiane Ermendea Amaral/Alessandra Kanashiro;
Gymnastics Team All-Arounds featuring Luciano Annabelle-Taspein, Solange Souza Kandray, Silvana Mantovani, Isaias Delchiaro-Varenbert, and Romeo Saramay Mateus;
Finals of Field HockeyFootball, and Rugby Sevens (team events);

That is the schedule for the fourteenth and last day of Esferic events! You can watch them on the channels 201 to 210, and for members of our monthly subscription, we also have recordings in our website sportsreport.com.gl/esferiad/ii/events if one isn't able to check them live. See you tomorrow for another report!

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