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ALON

Turkey Pardon 2020

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2020 has been an interesting year to say the least. Here to make it more exciting is the annual TWP Turkey Pardon. Yet there's a twist! Will the Hall of Nations forsake tradition and pardon a duck instead?

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Hello HoN this is the very first draft of the turkey pardon so please add puns, wordplays and more sections!

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We are nearing the time of year when families all around the US slaughter various creatures in order to sit down to a pheasant meal. Like for other holidays we need something nice to do for somebody else therefore we are saving a single creature from death this Thanksgiving.

Never our regular Swan Princess, tracywithaneye caught our eyes from the very first moment. 

She represents the change we can all undertake to become princesses ourselves.

We, the Hall of Nations, hope to make her life a little more ducky by recommending that she be pardoned from the roast and saved for a swan song.

Quote

We are nearing the time of year when families all around the United States slaughter various creatures in order to sit down to a pheasant meal. Like other holidays, we want to do something nice for somebody else. Therefore, the Hall of Nations petitions our Delegate, Dilber, to save a single fowl creature from death this Thanksgiving. 

Never our regular, tracywithaneye caught our eyes from the very first moment. The Swan Princess represents the change we can all undertake to become princesses ourselves.

All of the other fowl have fallen afoul and face our feasting fête.

Dave1993 encourages us to have a “fun time.” And we shall. We will crack open a couple of brews and use them to baste dave1993. Mr. Right Now is the wrong one for us.

We thought Jennyfromdabutcherblock could be the one. But only for a moment. When she started singing, her voice was a little gobbly. We also shall not be fooled by the rocs that she got, sure she used to be little but now has a lot … to eat.

Our last candidate, not_roody_juicyani, clearly had his feathers ruffled by the recent election in the United States. He won’t improve with age. We must cook him now and the gravy is ready and waiting.

We have decided to recognize a bird of a different feather and duck the trend of pardoning turkeys. Instead, we hope to give tracywithaneye another quack at life. We wish to spare her from the roast and save her for a swan song.

In the name of Delegate Supremacy, we Hall of Nations of The West Pacific, hereby entreat our crabby platypus Delegate, Dilber, to pardon tracywithaneye from being consumed this Thanksgiving in the year of 2020.

 

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Some edits I recommend:

1. "Thanksgiving" is one word.

2. I would refer to our fowl as Swan Princess.

(More to come later hopefully)

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Nice start! Also want to acknowledge @Fhaengshia for getting a draft rolling. 

Not having immediate ideas at the moment, but I do think gravy should appear in the text if anyone wants to ponder that and suggest possibilities. 

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16 hours ago, Fantoccini said:

I propose making an example of the turkey, instead.

Tracywithaneye won the poll (https://www.nationstates.net/page=poll/p=165891). This thread is for suggesting improvements and additions to the proposal, not arguing who should be pardoned.

However, arguments can be made as to why the proposal should not be passed when it comes to a vote.

 

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Additions/changes are in italics.

We are nearing the time of year when families all around the United States slaughter various creatures in order to sit down to a pheasant meal. Like other holidays, we want to do something nice for somebody else. Therefore, the Hall of Nations petitions our Delegate, Dilber, to save a single fowl creature from death this Thanksgiving.

Never our regular, tracywithaneye caught our eyes from the very first moment. The Swan Princess represents the change we can all undertake to become princesses ourselves.

Dave1993 encourages us to have a “fun time.” And we shall. We will crack open a couple of brews and use them to baste dave1993. Mr. Right Now is the wrong one for us.

We thought Jennyfromdabutcherblock could be the one. But only for a moment. When she started singing, her voice was a little gobbly. She was singing “Carve Me Maybe” (you know, the song goes, “hey I just met you, and this is gravy. But here's my stuffing, so carve me maybe”). It reminded us of something better that we could be doing in a few days.

Our last candidate, not_roody_juicyani, clearly had his feathers ruffled by the recent election in the United States. He won’t improve with age. We must cook him now.

We, the Hall of Nations, hope to make tracywithaneye’s life a little more ducky, by recommending that she be pardoned from the roast and saved for a swan song.

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Thanks to @Fuentana for the early help! I have a little more I've come up with since, additions/changes in italics

 

We are nearing the time of year when families all around the United States slaughter various creatures in order to sit down to a pheasant meal. Like other holidays, we want to do something nice for somebody else. Therefore, the Hall of Nations petitions our Delegate, Dilber, to save a single fowl creature from death this Thanksgiving. 

Never our regular Swan Princess, tracywithaneye caught our eyes from the very first moment. The Swan Princess represents the change we can all undertake to become princesses ourselves.

All of the other fowl have fallen afoul and face our feasting fête.

Dave1993 encourages us to have a “fun time.” And we shall. We will crack open a couple of brews and use them to baste dave1993. Mr. Right Now is the wrong one for us.

We thought Jennyfromdabutcherblock could be the one. But only for a moment. When she started singing, her voice was a little gobbly. We also shall not be fooled by the rocs that she got, sure she used to be little but now has a lot … to eat.

Our last candidate, not_roody_juicyani, clearly had his feathers ruffled by the recent election in the United States. He won’t improve with age. We must cook him now and the gravy is ready and waiting.

We, the Hall of Nations, hope to make tracywithaneye’s life a little more ducky, by recommending that she be pardoned from the roast and saved for a swan song.

 

Edited by Fhaengshia
Edited "had" to "have" to correct tense as suggested by ALON

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1 hour ago, Fhaengshia said:

All of the other fowl had fallen afoul and face our feasting fête.

Love the word play here! The only thing I would change is "had" to "have" to keep the same tense as "face."

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1 hour ago, ALON said:

Love the word play here! The only thing I would change is "had" to "have" to keep the same tense as "face."

Good catch, thanks!

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Borrowing this from @Fuentana's TITW: But will the bird of a different feather duck the trend?

A rewrite of the last sentence:

We have decided to recognize a bird of a different feather and duck the trend of pardoning turkeys. Instead, we hope to give tracywithaneye another quack at life. We wish to spare her from the roast and save her for a swan song.

In the name of Delegate Supremacy, we Hall of Nations of The West Pacific, hereby entreat our crabby platypus Delegate, Dilber, to pardon tracywithaneye from being consumed this Thanksgiving in the year of 2020.

 

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