iOctagon

RWC Commentary: Match Day 1, Post-Match
Presented jointly by SDCSN3 head sports correspondent Approctoflecticus Blubberman and SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards Hector Lafontaine
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor today, Arrivederci Soldi! It's the luxury fashion house with bland designs making rich people pay to dress poorly! As always, I Approctoflecticus Blubberman shall be your host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup. Accompanying me is Mr Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards at SDCSN3's online news section. Mr Lafontaine is a close friend of the show, so please give him a very warm welcome!
LAFONTAINE: I am not a friend of the show. I am here to observe and supervise this broadcast and its related operations.
BLUBBERMAN (to LAFONTAINE): Can't you have some cheer? (To audience.) Anyways, onto our main subject today. Match Day 1 has concluded and the results are out. And it appears that Team SD have triumphed against our opponents from Teralyon. A fantastic development indeed. I told you, people, even before the match began, that us Santo-Dominians would kick their a-
LAFONTAINE: Ahem.
BLUBBERMAN: ...that us Santo-Dominians would win fair and square, without any sort of violence or underhanded methods employed against our rivals. Anyways, that now places us in an advantageous position, and Teralyon in a disadvantaged position of course. In other news, Saint Mark won a decisive victory over Denieria - seems like our former colonisers have returned to their egregious ways-
LAFONTAINE: Ahem! (Shoots a glare at BLUBBERMAN.)
BLUBBERMAN: ...I mean, seems like our Auran friends up north have won in an excellent display of effort. Apologies for the slip-up there, didn't mean it at all.
LAFONTAINE: Oh, now the people in Saint Mark are definitely going to remember it now, especially after your terrible apology.
BLUBBERMAN: Aaaaaanyways, moving on! We have been informed that Team SD will not be playing tomorrow, and will instead be taking a well-deserved break after their glorious victory. Hence, we shall now move onto talking about upcoming matches in our group, which is Group A. According to official information from RWC3 organisers, today's losers will be facing off tomorrow - that means that Denieria will be playing against Teralyon.
LAFONTAINE (whispering): You really could've done better with the wording there, in regard to calling countries "losers".
A nervous BLUBBERMAN straightens up himself and continues reporting.
BLUBBERMAN: And the big news of the day is that Zoran, the defending world champion of rugby, will be playing against Saint Mark in a bellwether match! That could show us if they have maintained their winning strength from the 2nd Rugby World Cup, or if they have deteriorated since then - a likely story due to their country's extreme instability, I think - and are no match for Saint Mark. Either is possible, we'll just have to see which side emerges as the victor tomorrow.
LAFONTAINE: Oh my word - what did you just say about Zoran? Okay, you better wrap it up now. I'm going to have a chat with you later about this abysmal broadcast.
BLUBBERMAN's arm subsequently begins to tremble noticeably, affecting his handheld microphone. His audio becomes less clear and more shaky.
BLUBBERMAN (stressed): And that is it for us today! This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to see Team SD win our country some early glories in their debut match. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
The camera pans away from the studio as LAFONTAINE is seen walking up to BLUBBERMAN and pointing at him while saying something in a stern manner.

RWC3 Commentary: Match Day 2, Post-Match
Presented by SDCSN3 head sports correspondent Approctoflecticus Blubberman and SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards Hector Lafontaine
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor today, FriLife! It's the insurance conglomerate that profits egregiously from you being in a constant state of fear and paranoia! As always, I Approctoflecticus Blubberman shall be your host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup. Accompanying me is Mr Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards for SDCSN3's online news section. Mr Lafontaine is a great chum of mine, so please give him a warm welcome!
LAFONTAINE: We are not acquainted in any way, shape or form. I am here for supervisory purposes.
BLUBBERMAN: Ignoring that expression of difficult truth, I'm going to get straight to talking about today's RWC3 news! Match Day 2 has concluded and the results of today's matches have hence been released. Although Team SD had today off as a rest day, I have been told that I don't do enough reporting to justify my current salary, so I'm going to cover the other matches in order to ensure that I can buy my 2nd mansion in lakeside Friberne.
LAFONTAINE: Nobody needed to know how undeservingly rich you are.
BLUBBERMAN: But it's a personal cause that merits promotion! Anyways, let's talk about Group A. In a rather predictable match, Zoran has defeated Saint Mark in a 10-7 victory for the defending world champion. Seems like Saint Mark couldn't deliver the upset I had hoped to see, but the Zoranians were always going to be tough opponents for any team to deal with. All that war and destruction must've hardened them - maybe a bloody civil war is good for rugby training?
LAFONTAINE's jaw drops. He takes out his notepad and scribbles quickly.
LAFONTAINE (muttering): Yet another extremely offensive remark...backlash from Zoranians possible, maybe even inevitable...serious consequences expected...I wonder how he managed to ascend to his current position...
BLUBBERMAN: In other news, Teralyon has proven that they're a force to be reckoned with, winning a 19-17 victory against Denieria. So those Teralyans aren't that bad after all. But still, they lost to us Santo-Dominians previously, so they still have quite a way to go before they can reach the top.
LAFONTAINE: Why do you insist on rubbing their defeat in their faces?
BLUBBERMAN: Because we won? Come on Mr Lafontaine, be a little patriotic. Anyways, moving onto Group B. Einherfell is now in a bad place following a 3-15 loss to the eccentric team from Dilber, with the former now at the very bottom of the group in terms of overall ranking. The landmine-happy Dalimbari have blown the friendly Fujansk sky high, it appears, with Team Dalimbar winning a 14-7 victory against their neighbour in Polaris. I love the Fujansk, but this is quite the humiliation.
LAFONTAINE: I feel like you just want the people who lost to feel as bad as possible.
BLUBBERMAN: Why shouldn't I do that? It's the only way they'll improve.
LAFONTAINE: That's literally public shaming. You know better than that.
BLUBBERMAN: Whatevs. Not my fault they lost. Anyways, let's turn to Group C. Woah! Seems like Group C saw some crushing, one-sided matches today. The Larxians triumphed over Hanita Grasce in a 14-3 victory, proving that their savviness with technology translates to savviness with sports. And the team from icy, desolate and rural Hertfordia swept the floor with the sporty Giovannilandians in an awe-inspiring 19-0 match! Gotta say good job to the Hertfordians - they really vanquished their opponents! How will Giovanniland ever recover from this shameful, utterly disastrous performance? I simply don't know!
LAFONTAINE: You better rein it in, Blubberman. Talk about Group D and then wrap it up, stat.
BLUBBERMAN: ...Fine. In Group D, the matches today were the complete opposite of Group C. Both Group D matches were quite close, actually. The Cambrians narrowly won over Nagaraningrad in a 8-7 victory that defended their honour, while Team United Adaikes won a similarly close 12-10 victory over Min-Su. Don't really have much to say, even Nagaraningrad and Min-Su held their own in their own respective matches, unlike the losers in the other groups.
LAFONTAINE: Okay, that's enough. End it!
BLUBBERMAN: Okay, okay. And that is it for us today! This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to mock other countries in order to incentivise them to improve. That's my personal philosophy in regards to sports. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
The camera pans away and the screen fades to dark as LAFONTAINE and BLUBBERMAN seemingly argue.

RWC3 Commentary: Match Day 2, Post-Match
Presented by SDCSN3 head sports correspondent Approctoflecticus Blubberman and SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards Hector Lafontaine
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor today, FriLife! It's the insurance conglomerate that profits egregiously from you being in a constant state of fear and paranoia! As always, I Approctoflecticus Blubberman shall be your host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup. Accompanying me is Mr Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards for SDCSN3's online news section. Mr Lafontaine is a great chum of mine, so please give him a warm welcome!
LAFONTAINE: We are not acquainted in any way, shape or form. I am here for supervisory purposes.
BLUBBERMAN: Ignoring that expression of difficult truth, I'm going to get straight to talking about today's RWC3 news! Match Day 2 has concluded and the results of today's matches have hence been released. Although Team SD had today off as a rest day, I have been told that I don't do enough reporting to justify my current salary, so I'm going to cover the other matches in order to ensure that I can buy my 2nd mansion in lakeside Friberne.
LAFONTAINE: Nobody needed to know how undeservingly rich you are.
BLUBBERMAN: But it's a personal cause that merits promotion! Anyways, let's talk about Group A. In a rather predictable match, Zoran has defeated Saint Mark in a 10-7 victory for the defending world champion. Seems like Saint Mark couldn't deliver the upset I had hoped to see, but the Zoranians were always going to be tough opponents for any team to deal with. All that war and destruction must've hardened them - maybe a bloody civil war is good for rugby training?
LAFONTAINE's jaw drops. He takes out his notepad and scribbles quickly.
LAFONTAINE (muttering): Yet another extremely offensive remark...backlash from Zoranians possible, maybe even inevitable...serious consequences expected...I wonder how he managed to ascend to his current position...
BLUBBERMAN: In other news, Teralyon has proven that they're a force to be reckoned with, winning a 19-17 victory against Denieria. So those Teralyans aren't that bad after all. But still, they lost to us Santo-Dominians previously, so they still have quite a way to go before they can reach the top.
LAFONTAINE: Why do you insist on rubbing their defeat in their faces?
BLUBBERMAN: Because we won? Come on Mr Lafontaine, be a little patriotic. Anyways, moving onto Group B. Einherfell is now in a bad place following a 3-15 loss to the eccentric team from Dilber, with the former now at the very bottom of the group in terms of overall ranking. The landmine-happy Dalimbari have blown the friendly Fujansk sky high, it appears, with Team Dalimbar winning a 14-7 victory against their neighbour in Polaris. I love the Fujansk, but this is quite the humiliation.
LAFONTAINE: I feel like you just want the people who lost to feel as bad as possible.
BLUBBERMAN: Why shouldn't I do that? It's the only way they'll improve.
LAFONTAINE: That's literally public shaming. You know better than that.
BLUBBERMAN: Whatevs. Not my fault they lost. Anyways, let's turn to Group C. Woah! Seems like Group C saw some crushing, one-sided matches today. The Larxians triumphed over Hanita Grasce in a 14-3 victory, proving that their savviness with technology translates to savviness with sports. And the team from icy, desolate and rural Hertfordia swept the floor with the sporty Giovannilandians in an awe-inspiring 19-0 match! Gotta say good job to the Hertfordians - they really vanquished their opponents! How will Giovanniland ever recover from this shameful, utterly disastrous performance? I simply don't know!
LAFONTAINE: You better rein it in, Blubberman. Talk about Group D and then wrap it up, stat.
BLUBBERMAN: ...Fine. In Group D, the matches today were the complete opposite of Group C. Both Group D matches were quite close, actually. The Cambrians narrowly won over Nagaraningrad in a 8-7 victory that defended their honour, while Team United Adaikes won a similarly close 12-10 victory over Min-Su. Don't really have much to say, even Nagaraningrad and Min-Su held their own in their own respective matches, unlike the losers in the other groups.
LAFONTAINE: Okay, that's enough. End it!
BLUBBERMAN: Okay, okay. And that is it for us today! This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to mock other countries in order to incentivise them to improve. That's my personal philosophy in regards to sports. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
The camera pans away and the screen fades to dark as LAFONTAINE and BLUBBERMAN seemingly argue.

RWC3 Commentary: Match Day 2, Post-Match
Presented by SDCSN3 head sports correspondent Approctoflecticus Blubberman and SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards Hector Lafontaine
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor today, FriLife! It's the insurance conglomerate that profits egregiously from you being in a constant state of fear and paranoia! As always, I Approctoflecticus Blubberman shall be your host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup. Accompanying me is Mr Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards for SDCSN3's online news section. Mr Lafontaine is a great chum of mine, so please give him a warm welcome!
LAFONTAINE: We are not acquainted in any way, shape or form. I am here for supervisory purposes.
BLUBBERMAN: Ignoring that expression of difficult truth, I'm going to get straight to talking about today's RWC3 news! Match Day 2 has concluded and the results of today's matches have hence been released. Although Team SD had today off as a rest day, I have been told that I don't do enough reporting to justify my current salary, so I'm going to cover the other matches in order to ensure that I can buy my 2nd mansion in lakeside Friberne.
LAFONTAINE: Nobody needed to know how undeservingly rich you are.
BLUBBERMAN: But it's a personal cause that merits promotion! Anyways, let's talk about Group A. In a rather predictable match, Zoran has defeated Saint Mark in a 10-7 victory for the defending world champion. Seems like Saint Mark couldn't deliver the upset I had hoped to see, but the Zoranians were always going to be tough opponents for any team to deal with. All that war and destruction must've hardened them - maybe a bloody civil war is good for rugby training?
LAFONTAINE's jaw drops. He takes out his notepad and scribbles quickly.
LAFONTAINE (muttering): Yet another extremely offensive remark...backlash from Zoranians possible, maybe even inevitable...serious consequences expected...I wonder how he managed to ascend to his current position...
BLUBBERMAN: In other news, Teralyon has proven that they're a force to be reckoned with, winning a 19-17 victory against Denieria. So those Teralyans aren't that bad after all. But still, they lost to us Santo-Dominians previously, so they still have quite a way to go before they can reach the top.
LAFONTAINE: Why do you insist on rubbing their defeat in their faces?
BLUBBERMAN: Because we won? Come on Mr Lafontaine, be a little patriotic. Anyways, moving onto Group B. Einherfell is now in a bad place following a 3-15 loss to the eccentric team from Dilber, with the former now at the very bottom of the group in terms of overall ranking. The landmine-happy Dalimbari have blown the friendly Fujansk sky high, it appears, with Team Dalimbar winning a 14-7 victory against their neighbour in Polaris. I love the Fujansk, but this is quite the humiliation.
LAFONTAINE: I feel like you just want the people who lost to feel as bad as possible.
BLUBBERMAN: Why shouldn't I do that? It's the only way they'll improve.
LAFONTAINE: That's literally public shaming. You know better than that.
BLUBBERMAN: Whatevs. Not my fault they lost. Anyways, let's turn to Group C. Woah! Seems like Group C saw some crushing, one-sided matches today. The Larxians triumphed over Hanita Grasce in a 14-3 victory, proving that their savviness with technology translates to savviness with sports. And the team from icy, desolate and rural Hertfordia swept the floor with the sporty Giovannilandians in an awe-inspiring 19-0 match! Gotta say good job to the Hertfordians - they really vanquished their opponents! How will Giovanniland ever recover from this shameful, utterly disastrous performance? I simply don't know!
LAFONTAINE: You better rein it in, Blubberman. Talk about Group D and then wrap it up, stat.
BLUBBERMAN: ...Fine. In Group D, the matches today were the complete opposite of Group C. Both Group D matches were quite close, actually. The Cambrians narrowly won over Nagaraningrad in a 8-7 victory that defended their honour, while Team United Adaikes won a similarly close 12-10 victory over Min-Su. Don't really have much to say, even Nagaraningrad and Min-Su held their own in their own respective matches, unlike the losers in the other groups.
LAFONTAINE: Okay, that's enough. End it!
BLUBBERMAN: Okay, okay. And that is it for us today! This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to mock other countries in order to incentivise them to improve. That's my personal philosophy in regards to sports. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
The camera pans away and the screen fades to dark as LAFONTAINE and BLUBBERMAN seemingly argue.

RWC3 Commentary: Match Day 2, Post-Match
Presented by SDCSN3 head sports correspondent Approctoflecticus Blubberman and SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards Hector Lafontaine
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor today, FriLife! It's the insurance conglomerate that profits egregiously from you being in a constant state of fear and paranoia! As always, I Approctoflecticus Blubberman shall be your host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup. Accompanying me is Mr Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards for SDCSN3's online news section. Mr Lafontaine is a great chum of mine, so please give him a warm welcome!
LAFONTAINE: We are not acquainted in any way, shape or form. I am here for supervisory purposes.
BLUBBERMAN: Ignoring that expression of difficult truth, I'm going to get straight to talking about today's RWC3 news! Match Day 2 has concluded and the results of today's matches have hence been released. Although Team SD had today off as a rest day, I have been told that I don't do enough reporting to justify my current salary, so I'm going to cover the other matches in order to ensure that I can buy my 2nd mansion in lakeside Friberne.
LAFONTAINE: Nobody needed to know how undeservingly rich you are.
BLUBBERMAN: But it's a personal cause that merits promotion! Anyways, let's talk about Group A. In a rather predictable match, Zoran has defeated Saint Mark in a 10-7 victory for the defending world champion. Seems like Saint Mark couldn't deliver the upset I had hoped to see, but the Zoranians were always going to be tough opponents for any team to deal with. All that war and destruction must've hardened them - maybe a bloody civil war is good for rugby training?
LAFONTAINE's jaw drops. He takes out his notepad and scribbles quickly.
LAFONTAINE (muttering): Yet another extremely offensive remark...backlash from Zoranians possible, maybe even inevitable...serious consequences expected...I wonder how he managed to ascend to his current position...
BLUBBERMAN: In other news, Teralyon has proven that they're a force to be reckoned with, winning a 19-17 victory against Denieria. So those Teralyans aren't that bad after all. But still, they lost to us Santo-Dominians previously, so they still have quite a way to go before they can reach the top.
LAFONTAINE: Why do you insist on rubbing their defeat in their faces?
BLUBBERMAN: Because we won? Come on Mr Lafontaine, be a little patriotic. Anyways, moving onto Group B. Einherfell is now in a bad place following a 3-15 loss to the eccentric team from Dilber, with the former now at the very bottom of the group in terms of overall ranking. The landmine-happy Dalimbari have blown the friendly Fujansk sky high, it appears, with Team Dalimbar winning a 14-7 victory against their neighbour in Polaris. I love the Fujansk, but this is quite the humiliation.
LAFONTAINE: I feel like you just want the people who lost to feel as bad as possible.
BLUBBERMAN: Why shouldn't I do that? It's the only way they'll improve.
LAFONTAINE: That's literally public shaming. You know better than that.
BLUBBERMAN: Whatevs. Not my fault they lost. Anyways, let's turn to Group C. Woah! Seems like Group C saw some crushing, one-sided matches today. The Larxians triumphed over Hanita Grasce in a 14-3 victory, proving that their savviness with technology translates to savviness with sports. And the team from icy, desolate and rural Hertfordia swept the floor with the sporty Giovannilandians in an awe-inspiring 19-0 match! Gotta say good job to the Hertfordians - they really vanquished their opponents! How will Giovanniland ever recover from this shameful, utterly disastrous performance? I simply don't know!
LAFONTAINE: You better rein it in, Blubberman. Talk about Group D and then wrap it up, stat.
BLUBBERMAN: ...Fine. In Group D, the matches today were the complete opposite of Group C. Both Group D matches were quite close, actually. The Cambrians narrowly won over Nagaraningrad in a 8-7 victory that defended their honour, while Team United Adaikes won a similarly close 12-10 victory over Min-Su. Don't really have much to say, even Nagaraningrad and Min-Su held their own in their own respective matches, unlike the losers in the other groups.
LAFONTAINE: Okay, that's enough. End it!
BLUBBERMAN: Okay, okay. And that is it for us today! This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to mock other countries in order to incentivise them to improve. That's my personal philosophy in regards to sports. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
The camera pans away and the screen fades to dark as LAFONTAINE and BLUBBERMAN seemingly argue.

Hours earlier in the Darkesian Sea, near Saint Ludger
"Starboard beam," Meyers said. Coming abeam now, speed constant, straightening out, distance about fourteen hundred, I think." The sonarman wiped sweat from his hands on his trousers.
Hang in there kid, you got this, the captain thought. The entire crew was acting like a professional.
"The turn has stopped on the starboard bow. Contact has settled back down on two-one-zero." Meyers looked up with a grin. "We got 'em again, Skipper."
"Good work, gents." Carroll went back to the attack center. The Chaudière Bay was dead in the water, slowly drifting downward with a slight negative trim.
"Alright, let's get her back on track. Build up slowly to twelve knots." A handful of seconds later a near imperceptible thrum began as the power plant pushed the boat forward.
"Attention, this is the captain," Carroll said into the sound-powered phone. The electrical units were turned off, and watch-standers in the compartments relayed his message. "The Glenpavian boat circled us again without picking us up. Well done." He placed the phone back in its rack.
"Mr. Bolmer, get us back on her tail."
"Aye, Skipper. Right eight degrees rudder, helm."
"Right eight degrees rudder, aye." The helmsman repeated the order while turning his wheel. Fifteen minutes later the Chaudière Bay was back astern of her contact.
"How do you feel about celebrating yesterday's game, Skipper?" Chief Janssen asked.
Carroll chuckled at the suggestion. He had been so focused on this latest Glenpavian field trip he nearly forgot his boy in his first world cup.
"Mr. Bolmer, what is the distance to the contact?"
"Steady at two thousand yards."
"Increase speed to fifteen knots. Get us in nice and close. COB, ready the speakers."
"Aye, Skipper!" the COB and navigator both responded with devilish grins.
Minutes later the deathly silent attack submarine roared passed her contact with Raven Shabbat's classic hit Crazy Train blaring over the electric speakers in every compartment. There was no doubt the Glenpavian boat was now well aware she had company.

RWC Commentary: Match Day 1, Post-Match
Presented jointly by SDCSN3 head sports correspondent Approctoflecticus Blubberman and SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards Hector Lafontaine
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor today, Arrivederci Soldi! It's the luxury fashion house with bland designs making rich people pay to dress poorly! As always, I Approctoflecticus Blubberman shall be your host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup. Accompanying me is Mr Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards at SDCSN3's online news section. Mr Lafontaine is a close friend of the show, so please give him a very warm welcome!
LAFONTAINE: I am not a friend of the show. I am here to observe and supervise this broadcast and its related operations.
BLUBBERMAN (to LAFONTAINE): Can't you have some cheer? (To audience.) Anyways, onto our main subject today. Match Day 1 has concluded and the results are out. And it appears that Team SD have triumphed against our opponents from Teralyon. A fantastic development indeed. I told you, people, even before the match began, that us Santo-Dominians would kick their a-
LAFONTAINE: Ahem.
BLUBBERMAN: ...that us Santo-Dominians would win fair and square, without any sort of violence or underhanded methods employed against our rivals. Anyways, that now places us in an advantageous position, and Teralyon in a disadvantaged position of course. In other news, Saint Mark won a decisive victory over Denieria - seems like our former colonisers have returned to their egregious ways-
LAFONTAINE: Ahem! (Shoots a glare at BLUBBERMAN.)
BLUBBERMAN: ...I mean, seems like our Auran friends up north have won in an excellent display of effort. Apologies for the slip-up there, didn't mean it at all.
LAFONTAINE: Oh, now the people in Saint Mark are definitely going to remember it now, especially after your terrible apology.
BLUBBERMAN: Aaaaaanyways, moving on! We have been informed that Team SD will not be playing tomorrow, and will instead be taking a well-deserved break after their glorious victory. Hence, we shall now move onto talking about upcoming matches in our group, which is Group A. According to official information from RWC3 organisers, today's losers will be facing off tomorrow - that means that Denieria will be playing against Teralyon.
LAFONTAINE (whispering): You really could've done better with the wording there, in regard to calling countries "losers".
A nervous BLUBBERMAN straightens up himself and continues reporting.
BLUBBERMAN: And the big news of the day is that Zoran, the defending world champion of rugby, will be playing against Saint Mark in a bellwether match! That could show us if they have maintained their winning strength from the 2nd Rugby World Cup, or if they have deteriorated since then - a likely story due to their country's extreme instability, I think - and are no match for Saint Mark. Either is possible, we'll just have to see which side emerges as the victor tomorrow.
LAFONTAINE: Oh my word - what did you just say about Zoran? Okay, you better wrap it up now. I'm going to have a chat with you later about this abysmal broadcast.
BLUBBERMAN's arm subsequently begins to tremble noticeably, affecting his handheld microphone. His audio becomes less clear and more shaky.
BLUBBERMAN (stressed): And that is it for us today! This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to see Team SD win our country some early glories in their debut match. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
The camera pans away from the studio as LAFONTAINE is seen walking up to BLUBBERMAN and pointing at him while saying something in a stern manner.

RWC Commentary: Match Day 1, Post-Match
Presented jointly by SDCSN3 head sports correspondent Approctoflecticus Blubberman and SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards Hector Lafontaine
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor today, Arrivederci Soldi! It's the luxury fashion house with bland designs making rich people pay to dress poorly! As always, I Approctoflecticus Blubberman shall be your host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup. Accompanying me is Mr Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards at SDCSN3's online news section. Mr Lafontaine is a close friend of the show, so please give him a very warm welcome!
LAFONTAINE: I am not a friend of the show. I am here to observe and supervise this broadcast and its related operations.
BLUBBERMAN (to LAFONTAINE): Can't you have some cheer? (To audience.) Anyways, onto our main subject today. Match Day 1 has concluded and the results are out. And it appears that Team SD have triumphed against our opponents from Teralyon. A fantastic development indeed. I told you, people, even before the match began, that us Santo-Dominians would kick their a-
LAFONTAINE: Ahem.
BLUBBERMAN: ...that us Santo-Dominians would win fair and square, without any sort of violence or underhanded methods employed against our rivals. Anyways, that now places us in an advantageous position, and Teralyon in a disadvantaged position of course. In other news, Saint Mark won a decisive victory over Denieria - seems like our former colonisers have returned to their egregious ways-
LAFONTAINE: Ahem! (Shoots a glare at BLUBBERMAN.)
BLUBBERMAN: ...I mean, seems like our Auran friends up north have won in an excellent display of effort. Apologies for the slip-up there, didn't mean it at all.
LAFONTAINE: Oh, now the people in Saint Mark are definitely going to remember it now, especially after your terrible apology.
BLUBBERMAN: Aaaaaanyways, moving on! We have been informed that Team SD will not be playing tomorrow, and will instead be taking a well-deserved break after their glorious victory. Hence, we shall now move onto talking about upcoming matches in our group, which is Group A. According to official information from RWC3 organisers, today's losers will be facing off tomorrow - that means that Denieria will be playing against Teralyon.
LAFONTAINE (whispering): You really could've done better with the wording there, in regard to calling countries "losers".
A nervous BLUBBERMAN straightens up himself and continues reporting.
BLUBBERMAN: And the big news of the day is that Zoran, the defending world champion of rugby, will be playing against Saint Mark in a bellwether match! That could show us if they have maintained their winning strength from the 2nd Rugby World Cup, or if they have deteriorated since then - a likely story due to their country's extreme instability, I think - and are no match for Saint Mark. Either is possible, we'll just have to see which side emerges as the victor tomorrow.
LAFONTAINE: Oh my word - what did you just say about Zoran? Okay, you better wrap it up now. I'm going to have a chat with you later about this abysmal broadcast.
BLUBBERMAN's arm subsequently begins to tremble noticeably, affecting his handheld microphone. His audio becomes less clear and more shaky.
BLUBBERMAN (stressed): And that is it for us today! This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to see Team SD win our country some early glories in their debut match. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
The camera pans away from the studio as LAFONTAINE is seen walking up to BLUBBERMAN and pointing at him while saying something in a stern manner.

RWC Commentary: Match Day 1, Post-Match
Presented jointly by SDCSN3 head sports correspondent Approctoflecticus Blubberman and SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards Hector Lafontaine
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor today, Arrivederci Soldi! It's the luxury fashion house with bland designs making rich people pay to dress poorly! As always, I Approctoflecticus Blubberman shall be your host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup. Accompanying me is Mr Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards at SDCSN3's online news section. Mr Lafontaine is a close friend of the show, so please give him a very warm welcome!
LAFONTAINE: I am not a friend of the show. I am here to observe and supervise this broadcast and its related operations.
BLUBBERMAN (to LAFONTAINE): Can't you have some cheer? (To audience.) Anyways, onto our main subject today. Match Day 1 has concluded and the results are out. And it appears that Team SD have triumphed against our opponents from Teralyon. A fantastic development indeed. I told you, people, even before the match began, that us Santo-Dominians would kick their a-
LAFONTAINE: Ahem.
BLUBBERMAN: ...that us Santo-Dominians would win fair and square, without any sort of violence or underhanded methods employed against our rivals. Anyways, that now places us in an advantageous position, and Teralyon in a disadvantaged position of course. In other news, Saint Mark won a decisive victory over Denieria - seems like our former colonisers have returned to their egregious ways-
LAFONTAINE: Ahem! (Shoots a glare at BLUBBERMAN.)
BLUBBERMAN: ...I mean, seems like our Auran friends up north have won in an excellent display of effort. Apologies for the slip-up there, didn't mean it at all.
LAFONTAINE: Oh, now the people in Saint Mark are definitely going to remember it now, especially after your terrible apology.
BLUBBERMAN: Aaaaaanyways, moving on! We have been informed that Team SD will not be playing tomorrow, and will instead be taking a well-deserved break after their glorious victory. Hence, we shall now move onto talking about upcoming matches in our group, which is Group A. According to official information from RWC3 organisers, today's losers will be facing off tomorrow - that means that Denieria will be playing against Teralyon.
LAFONTAINE (whispering): You really could've done better with the wording there, in regard to calling countries "losers".
A nervous BLUBBERMAN straightens up himself and continues reporting.
BLUBBERMAN: And the big news of the day is that Zoran, the defending world champion of rugby, will be playing against Saint Mark in a bellwether match! That could show us if they have maintained their winning strength from the 2nd Rugby World Cup, or if they have deteriorated since then - a likely story due to their country's extreme instability, I think - and are no match for Saint Mark. Either is possible, we'll just have to see which side emerges as the victor tomorrow.
LAFONTAINE: Oh my word - what did you just say about Zoran? Okay, you better wrap it up now. I'm going to have a chat with you later about this abysmal broadcast.
BLUBBERMAN's arm subsequently begins to tremble noticeably, affecting his handheld microphone. His audio becomes less clear and more shaky.
BLUBBERMAN (stressed): And that is it for us today! This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to see Team SD win our country some early glories in their debut match. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
The camera pans away from the studio as LAFONTAINE is seen walking up to BLUBBERMAN and pointing at him while saying something in a stern manner.

A collaborative post written by @Clarkov and I

Transcript:
Quiyakaso: Hellooooooo Zoran! I am Quiyakaso Gohalitsve reporting to you live just outside Spirit Park Stadium to bring you information on the 1422 Zoran Rugby World Cup!
Yesterday was day one of the tournament where we saw Saint Mark and Santos-Dominius triumph over their opponents, Denieria and Teralyon, in group A. In group B, Fujai and Nieubasria came out on top against Einherfell and Dilber. Giovanniland and Larxia  rose to the top in group C against Hanita Grasce and Blue Bubble. Lastly in group D we saw Min-Su and Cambria overcoming the Nagaraningrad and Qostaoyaen teams.
Tomorrow we will see the Zoranian Sun Hawks play their first match of the tournament against Saint Mark. Many of the players from the last World Cup have either retired or got injured while serving in the Civil War. The team had to find new talent to replace those members so this will be the first time we see the new players play on the field. When asked about what was done to prepare the players for today's match the head coach, Amadahy Lvaguta, said that they worked on having the new players work as a part of the team. She believes that the team's performance in tomorrow’s match will come down to how well the players work together on the field so they have really been drilling them and having them think as a team and to get used to playing with each other. It is believed that Queen Atsil will be attending the game in person as well and said that she wishes the players the best of luck in tomorrow’s match.
In other news, Zoranians have been complaining about a comment that SDCSN3's Blubberman made during a report yesterday where they said that Zoran was in Northern Andolia followed by solely listing off negative things the country is known for in recent years. SDCSN3 has refused to make a comment about this behavior. I mean, I know I am bad at reporting at times but jeez at least I know geography...I think. Anyways, in a ne-
Clarkson: Hammond, you blithering idiot. This isn't a shortcut at all! We are nowhere near the petrol station!  
Hammond: Look, if I am being honest, this satnav system is not the easiest to figure out.
May: You muppet, did you not set it to common?
Hammond: ...
Quiyakaso: Um, excuse me? Who are you three?
Clarkson: Oh now look what you've bloody done, you've caused us to interrupt a news broadcast!
Hammond: Yes I know, it’s bad, I’m sorry.
Clarkson: James, the reporter is in this direction [points to the right]
May: Huh? Sorry. Hello.
Hammond: Hang on a second, isn’t this Quiyakaso? That one excessively unfortunate Zoranian reporter?
Clarkson: Yes Hammond and what you’ve done is drag us straight into one of his broadcasts, you imbecile.
Quiyakaso: Yes I am the unfortuna-hey! [shakes head] I still don’t know who either of you three are. I am guessing one of you is called Hammond, one is called James, and the other one is…I actually I don’t think your name has been mentioned.
May: Chaps, I’ve got the sheets for our radio show here. [hands Clarkson and Hammond the sheets]
Hammond: Well we’ve certainly got no shortage of material. The Stig’s Environmentalist Cousin for instance has been caught using coal to power his helmet.
Clarkson: Is that not the single most amazing story ever?
Hammond/May: Not really.
Hammond: And Mecislavs Deben has lost 1,300 immigrants. So what does Quiyakaso think would most interest the listeners?
May: I think he’s more concerned with making us go away right now.
Quiyakaso: I don’t think I have ever been so lost in my life…and I have been mugged by toddlers in Dilber. Look, as long as none of you result in causing me injury, I will be happy.
Clarkson: We’re lost too, thanks to a certain hamster.
May: Usually it’s me that gets us lost.
Hammond: Enough you two! Alright Quiyakaso, I’ll introduce us. I’m Richard Hammond, the tall one is Jeremy Clarkson and the one with ladies hair is James May.
Clarkson: Yes, we’re the trio that hosts a news show called Conversation Street, it’s Hertfordshire and Jammbo’s main sports broadcaster. Well when I say news show it’s more us three mocking each other.
Quiyakaso:...Riiiiiiiight. Well it was nice meeting you three but I think the producer is either getting an evil idea involving me or looking at me to try and move past this.
Clarkson: Good idea, we need to get down to the radio station prompto.
Hammond: Yes we do, so it was nice meeting you Quiyakaso and we shall see you, well, whenever. 
May: Um, Quiyakaso, I would recommend that you move far away from this spot.
Quiyakaso: Which spot?
May: Well, Hammond and I have secretly rigged our car to only go in circles. Clarkson is about to find out.
Clarkson: Alright chaps, come on!
May: Watch this.
Clarkson: Now to just set off. I’ll leave those two here to deal with Quiyakaso… erm… what the hell?! [the car is spinning in circles]
Hammond/May: [burst into laughter]
Clarkson: I know exactly what’s happened. Hammond, May, you idiots!
[Quiyakaso only notices the car last minute and flies off screen]
Quiyakaso: Fuuuuuuuuu-[fades as he flies off screen]
Clarkson: Oh sh-!
Hammond: That wasn’t meant to happen!
May: Well I did warn him but…
Hammond: Well now what are we gonna do?!
[Clarkson gets out of the car with an unhappy expression]
Clarkson: I think that since you two sabotaged the car, I only have one suggestion to make.
[The trio glances at Quiyakaso’s body]
Clarkson: Run!
[Clarkson, Hammond & May run away and off-screen]
[camera moves to see Quiyakaso struggling to his feet]
Quiyakaso: I-I might have a broken rib…or a hip…or both…This was Quiyakaso…I will see you…whenever I get out of the hospital.

RWC3 Commentary: Initial Group Allocations
Presented by Approctoflecticus Blubberman, SDCSN3 head sports correspondent, and Hector Lafontaine, SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor, Zeitpunkt watches! It's the prestigious watchmaker representing the highest pinnacle of Santo-Dominian luxury timepieces. I, the unprepared buffoon that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your obviously uninformed host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE: And I am Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards at SDCSN headquarters.
BLUBBERMAN: WOAH! Oh-okay. I was not informed of this "partnership". Ahahaha! Wel-welcome Mr Lafontaine!
LAFONTAINE: This is not a "partnership", Blubberman - I am your the superior of your direct superior, and I'm under orders from corporate to keep an eye on you. This is a senior-subordinate relationship.
BLUBBERMAN: Ahahaha, yes, right, totally! I understand, I get it, I do. Anyways, let's get straight to talking about the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE takes out a notepad and begins to jot notes furiously as BLUBBERMAN nervously continues his reporting, taking occasional glances at the notepad's contents.
BLUBBERMAN: The organisers of RWC3 have released the group allocations for this event, we've been told. Let's display them on the screen here. According to this graphic produced by the organisers, Team Santos-Dominius will face off against the likes of Saint Mark, Teralyon, Denieria and....and...Zoran!?
LAFONTAINE (mutters): Inability to maintain calmness on air...doubt his competence as head sports correspondent...further observation recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: I'm to-totally confident that our excellent rugby players will manage to seize victory even against the reigning Zoranian champions. (Whispers to LAFONTAINE.) Am I doing good? (Turns to the audience once more.) The organisers have informed us that our first match will be against Teralyon. Oh, those Teralyans better watch out! Us Santo-Dominians are gonna kick their a-
LAFONTAINE raises his eyebrows visibly. BLUBBERMAN gulps.
BLUBBERMAN: ...us Santo-Dominians are going to have a friendly and fair match against the Teralyons, during which Team SD will showcase the premier sportsmanship and respect we always have for opponents, rivals and friends alike. The same can be said for our matches against Saint Mark, Denieria and Zoran.
The recording studio's windows looking onto Spirit Park are closed; two large displays appear behind BLUBBERMAN. They display the words "HISTORY OF ZORAN" in large letters.
BLUBBERMAN: And before we go, let's talk about Zoran itself! It is a fascinating country indeed. Located in northern Andolia, Zoran is known for-
LAFONTAINE (to self): Lack of basic understanding of geography...fatally unprepared and uninformed...follow-up IQ test recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: ...Zoran is known for civil wars, refugees and...oh crap! Wait, Zoran isn't known for "oh crap". I'm sorry!
LAFONTAINE (to BLUBBERMAN): Oh my word, I can't anymore. You...you...!! Stop and wrap it up!
BLUBBERMAN: Eeek! Okay! Apologies to viewers out there, both at home and abroad. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to discuss the group allocations as well as Zoran itself as a nation. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
LAFONTAINE forcibly drags BLUBBERMAN off the set as busy interns clean up the recording studio and cut the camera.

Häřtferdsierndeambeu Ragbi Jünjen/Катфадсие ае Дзаембеу Рагби Сцийас - The 101
The Bauhaus Novel - Conversation Street: Season 2, Episode 0 - Third Time [REDACTED]

[Clarkson walks into the tent to applause by the travelling Hertfordians and Jammbians, who quickly become bemused. Strangely, he is on his own. Where in the name of all that's holy are Hammond and May?!]
Jeremy Clarkson: Hello and welcome! I'm here in Zoran where there used to be a war going on, but I'm told it was permanently postponed. Now, you might be wondering why I'm the only one here. Well, I found out just last week having recovered from pneumonia, that in my illness both Hammond and May have been picked to join the Hertfordshire and Jammbo national rugby team.
[The audience gasps in relative unison]
Jeremy Clarkson: As you could imagine, I was very cross. But no matter! If they succeed, I can claim that I taught them how to do it because let's be honest, James would score a try in the wrong direction and as for Richard? Let's just say that teams are probably motivated well by sore winners on the other end.
[Richard Hammond {out of shot in the distance}: No you didn't! Stop saying things to the audience that aren't true!]
Jeremy Clarkson: ...Anyway. Of course if we fail to win the title, I have a scope for laughing at them. It's a win-win for me.
[A few scattered laughs can be heard from some parts of the audience]
Jeremy Clarkson: Right now that that's over with I can now hand over to the Stig who has joined us for various requests in a way only the Stig can do. This is Conversation Street's 2nd appearance so call this Season 2. On the note of this being the second season, and this episode being more of a prologue, see you first episode, goodnight! Oh, and Mečislavs and Clarkov are coming to see the 3rd Rugby World Cup. Given how monumentally shy he is, if anyone sees Clarkov in public, take a picture and send it to 0801-CLOTS. You may get recognition.
The Stig: .. ... ... ..... .. .. ..... .. .. ..... ... ..... ....... ...... ......... .. .... (translation: he is not going to be happy if he finds out we're drawing public attention to him.)
[James May {out of shot, having tripped into one of the abnormally large freezers the HNDRJ brought with them... which is full of freezing water}: Ah! My testicles have retreated!]
 
HertsJammpedia - The Rundown (31-person team)


 
Weirdness Incarnate - The Roster (31-person team)




AGE IS IRRELEVANT
The Style Mod
+2.9
The Checklist - RP Permissions
If my opponent RPs first, they may... Choose my try scorers: N Choose my kicker: N RP injuries: Y Godmod scoring events: N Godmod injuries: N Godmod other events: N  
                  

RWC3 Commentary: Initial Group Allocations
Presented by Approctoflecticus Blubberman, SDCSN3 head sports correspondent, and Hector Lafontaine, SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor, Zeitpunkt watches! It's the prestigious watchmaker representing the highest pinnacle of Santo-Dominian luxury timepieces. I, the unprepared buffoon that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your obviously uninformed host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE: And I am Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards at SDCSN headquarters.
BLUBBERMAN: WOAH! Oh-okay. I was not informed of this "partnership". Ahahaha! Wel-welcome Mr Lafontaine!
LAFONTAINE: This is not a "partnership", Blubberman - I am your the superior of your direct superior, and I'm under orders from corporate to keep an eye on you. This is a senior-subordinate relationship.
BLUBBERMAN: Ahahaha, yes, right, totally! I understand, I get it, I do. Anyways, let's get straight to talking about the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE takes out a notepad and begins to jot notes furiously as BLUBBERMAN nervously continues his reporting, taking occasional glances at the notepad's contents.
BLUBBERMAN: The organisers of RWC3 have released the group allocations for this event, we've been told. Let's display them on the screen here. According to this graphic produced by the organisers, Team Santos-Dominius will face off against the likes of Saint Mark, Teralyon, Denieria and....and...Zoran!?
LAFONTAINE (mutters): Inability to maintain calmness on air...doubt his competence as head sports correspondent...further observation recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: I'm to-totally confident that our excellent rugby players will manage to seize victory even against the reigning Zoranian champions. (Whispers to LAFONTAINE.) Am I doing good? (Turns to the audience once more.) The organisers have informed us that our first match will be against Teralyon. Oh, those Teralyans better watch out! Us Santo-Dominians are gonna kick their a-
LAFONTAINE raises his eyebrows visibly. BLUBBERMAN gulps.
BLUBBERMAN: ...us Santo-Dominians are going to have a friendly and fair match against the Teralyons, during which Team SD will showcase the premier sportsmanship and respect we always have for opponents, rivals and friends alike. The same can be said for our matches against Saint Mark, Denieria and Zoran.
The recording studio's windows looking onto Spirit Park are closed; two large displays appear behind BLUBBERMAN. They display the words "HISTORY OF ZORAN" in large letters.
BLUBBERMAN: And before we go, let's talk about Zoran itself! It is a fascinating country indeed. Located in northern Andolia, Zoran is known for-
LAFONTAINE (to self): Lack of basic understanding of geography...fatally unprepared and uninformed...follow-up IQ test recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: ...Zoran is known for civil wars, refugees and...oh crap! Wait, Zoran isn't known for "oh crap". I'm sorry!
LAFONTAINE (to BLUBBERMAN): Oh my word, I can't anymore. You...you...!! Stop and wrap it up!
BLUBBERMAN: Eeek! Okay! Apologies to viewers out there, both at home and abroad. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to discuss the group allocations as well as Zoran itself as a nation. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
LAFONTAINE forcibly drags BLUBBERMAN off the set as busy interns clean up the recording studio and cut the camera.

RWC3 Commentary: Initial Group Allocations
Presented by Approctoflecticus Blubberman, SDCSN3 head sports correspondent, and Hector Lafontaine, SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor, Zeitpunkt watches! It's the prestigious watchmaker representing the highest pinnacle of Santo-Dominian luxury timepieces. I, the unprepared buffoon that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your obviously uninformed host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE: And I am Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards at SDCSN headquarters.
BLUBBERMAN: WOAH! Oh-okay. I was not informed of this "partnership". Ahahaha! Wel-welcome Mr Lafontaine!
LAFONTAINE: This is not a "partnership", Blubberman - I am your the superior of your direct superior, and I'm under orders from corporate to keep an eye on you. This is a senior-subordinate relationship.
BLUBBERMAN: Ahahaha, yes, right, totally! I understand, I get it, I do. Anyways, let's get straight to talking about the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE takes out a notepad and begins to jot notes furiously as BLUBBERMAN nervously continues his reporting, taking occasional glances at the notepad's contents.
BLUBBERMAN: The organisers of RWC3 have released the group allocations for this event, we've been told. Let's display them on the screen here. According to this graphic produced by the organisers, Team Santos-Dominius will face off against the likes of Saint Mark, Teralyon, Denieria and....and...Zoran!?
LAFONTAINE (mutters): Inability to maintain calmness on air...doubt his competence as head sports correspondent...further observation recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: I'm to-totally confident that our excellent rugby players will manage to seize victory even against the reigning Zoranian champions. (Whispers to LAFONTAINE.) Am I doing good? (Turns to the audience once more.) The organisers have informed us that our first match will be against Teralyon. Oh, those Teralyans better watch out! Us Santo-Dominians are gonna kick their a-
LAFONTAINE raises his eyebrows visibly. BLUBBERMAN gulps.
BLUBBERMAN: ...us Santo-Dominians are going to have a friendly and fair match against the Teralyons, during which Team SD will showcase the premier sportsmanship and respect we always have for opponents, rivals and friends alike. The same can be said for our matches against Saint Mark, Denieria and Zoran.
The recording studio's windows looking onto Spirit Park are closed; two large displays appear behind BLUBBERMAN. They display the words "HISTORY OF ZORAN" in large letters.
BLUBBERMAN: And before we go, let's talk about Zoran itself! It is a fascinating country indeed. Located in northern Andolia, Zoran is known for-
LAFONTAINE (to self): Lack of basic understanding of geography...fatally unprepared and uninformed...follow-up IQ test recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: ...Zoran is known for civil wars, refugees and...oh crap! Wait, Zoran isn't known for "oh crap". I'm sorry!
LAFONTAINE (to BLUBBERMAN): Oh my word, I can't anymore. You...you...!! Stop and wrap it up!
BLUBBERMAN: Eeek! Okay! Apologies to viewers out there, both at home and abroad. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to discuss the group allocations as well as Zoran itself as a nation. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
LAFONTAINE forcibly drags BLUBBERMAN off the set as busy interns clean up the recording studio and cut the camera.

RWC3 Commentary: Initial Group Allocations
Presented by Approctoflecticus Blubberman, SDCSN3 head sports correspondent, and Hector Lafontaine, SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor, Zeitpunkt watches! It's the prestigious watchmaker representing the highest pinnacle of Santo-Dominian luxury timepieces. I, the unprepared buffoon that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your obviously uninformed host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE: And I am Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards at SDCSN headquarters.
BLUBBERMAN: WOAH! Oh-okay. I was not informed of this "partnership". Ahahaha! Wel-welcome Mr Lafontaine!
LAFONTAINE: This is not a "partnership", Blubberman - I am your the superior of your direct superior, and I'm under orders from corporate to keep an eye on you. This is a senior-subordinate relationship.
BLUBBERMAN: Ahahaha, yes, right, totally! I understand, I get it, I do. Anyways, let's get straight to talking about the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE takes out a notepad and begins to jot notes furiously as BLUBBERMAN nervously continues his reporting, taking occasional glances at the notepad's contents.
BLUBBERMAN: The organisers of RWC3 have released the group allocations for this event, we've been told. Let's display them on the screen here. According to this graphic produced by the organisers, Team Santos-Dominius will face off against the likes of Saint Mark, Teralyon, Denieria and....and...Zoran!?
LAFONTAINE (mutters): Inability to maintain calmness on air...doubt his competence as head sports correspondent...further observation recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: I'm to-totally confident that our excellent rugby players will manage to seize victory even against the reigning Zoranian champions. (Whispers to LAFONTAINE.) Am I doing good? (Turns to the audience once more.) The organisers have informed us that our first match will be against Teralyon. Oh, those Teralyans better watch out! Us Santo-Dominians are gonna kick their a-
LAFONTAINE raises his eyebrows visibly. BLUBBERMAN gulps.
BLUBBERMAN: ...us Santo-Dominians are going to have a friendly and fair match against the Teralyons, during which Team SD will showcase the premier sportsmanship and respect we always have for opponents, rivals and friends alike. The same can be said for our matches against Saint Mark, Denieria and Zoran.
The recording studio's windows looking onto Spirit Park are closed; two large displays appear behind BLUBBERMAN. They display the words "HISTORY OF ZORAN" in large letters.
BLUBBERMAN: And before we go, let's talk about Zoran itself! It is a fascinating country indeed. Located in northern Andolia, Zoran is known for-
LAFONTAINE (to self): Lack of basic understanding of geography...fatally unprepared and uninformed...follow-up IQ test recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: ...Zoran is known for civil wars, refugees and...oh crap! Wait, Zoran isn't known for "oh crap". I'm sorry!
LAFONTAINE (to BLUBBERMAN): Oh my word, I can't anymore. You...you...!! Stop and wrap it up!
BLUBBERMAN: Eeek! Okay! Apologies to viewers out there, both at home and abroad. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to discuss the group allocations as well as Zoran itself as a nation. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
LAFONTAINE forcibly drags BLUBBERMAN off the set as busy interns clean up the recording studio and cut the camera.

RWC3 Commentary: Initial Group Allocations
Presented by Approctoflecticus Blubberman, SDCSN3 head sports correspondent, and Hector Lafontaine, SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor, Zeitpunkt watches! It's the prestigious watchmaker representing the highest pinnacle of Santo-Dominian luxury timepieces. I, the unprepared buffoon that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your obviously uninformed host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE: And I am Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards at SDCSN headquarters.
BLUBBERMAN: WOAH! Oh-okay. I was not informed of this "partnership". Ahahaha! Wel-welcome Mr Lafontaine!
LAFONTAINE: This is not a "partnership", Blubberman - I am your the superior of your direct superior, and I'm under orders from corporate to keep an eye on you. This is a senior-subordinate relationship.
BLUBBERMAN: Ahahaha, yes, right, totally! I understand, I get it, I do. Anyways, let's get straight to talking about the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE takes out a notepad and begins to jot notes furiously as BLUBBERMAN nervously continues his reporting, taking occasional glances at the notepad's contents.
BLUBBERMAN: The organisers of RWC3 have released the group allocations for this event, we've been told. Let's display them on the screen here. According to this graphic produced by the organisers, Team Santos-Dominius will face off against the likes of Saint Mark, Teralyon, Denieria and....and...Zoran!?
LAFONTAINE (mutters): Inability to maintain calmness on air...doubt his competence as head sports correspondent...further observation recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: I'm to-totally confident that our excellent rugby players will manage to seize victory even against the reigning Zoranian champions. (Whispers to LAFONTAINE.) Am I doing good? (Turns to the audience once more.) The organisers have informed us that our first match will be against Teralyon. Oh, those Teralyans better watch out! Us Santo-Dominians are gonna kick their a-
LAFONTAINE raises his eyebrows visibly. BLUBBERMAN gulps.
BLUBBERMAN: ...us Santo-Dominians are going to have a friendly and fair match against the Teralyons, during which Team SD will showcase the premier sportsmanship and respect we always have for opponents, rivals and friends alike. The same can be said for our matches against Saint Mark, Denieria and Zoran.
The recording studio's windows looking onto Spirit Park are closed; two large displays appear behind BLUBBERMAN. They display the words "HISTORY OF ZORAN" in large letters.
BLUBBERMAN: And before we go, let's talk about Zoran itself! It is a fascinating country indeed. Located in northern Andolia, Zoran is known for-
LAFONTAINE (to self): Lack of basic understanding of geography...fatally unprepared and uninformed...follow-up IQ test recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: ...Zoran is known for civil wars, refugees and...oh crap! Wait, Zoran isn't known for "oh crap". I'm sorry!
LAFONTAINE (to BLUBBERMAN): Oh my word, I can't anymore. You...you...!! Stop and wrap it up!
BLUBBERMAN: Eeek! Okay! Apologies to viewers out there, both at home and abroad. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to discuss the group allocations as well as Zoran itself as a nation. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
LAFONTAINE forcibly drags BLUBBERMAN off the set as busy interns clean up the recording studio and cut the camera.

RWC3 Commentary: Initial Group Allocations
Presented by Approctoflecticus Blubberman, SDCSN3 head sports correspondent, and Hector Lafontaine, SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor, Zeitpunkt watches! It's the prestigious watchmaker representing the highest pinnacle of Santo-Dominian luxury timepieces. I, the unprepared buffoon that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your obviously uninformed host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE: And I am Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards at SDCSN headquarters.
BLUBBERMAN: WOAH! Oh-okay. I was not informed of this "partnership". Ahahaha! Wel-welcome Mr Lafontaine!
LAFONTAINE: This is not a "partnership", Blubberman - I am your the superior of your direct superior, and I'm under orders from corporate to keep an eye on you. This is a senior-subordinate relationship.
BLUBBERMAN: Ahahaha, yes, right, totally! I understand, I get it, I do. Anyways, let's get straight to talking about the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE takes out a notepad and begins to jot notes furiously as BLUBBERMAN nervously continues his reporting, taking occasional glances at the notepad's contents.
BLUBBERMAN: The organisers of RWC3 have released the group allocations for this event, we've been told. Let's display them on the screen here. According to this graphic produced by the organisers, Team Santos-Dominius will face off against the likes of Saint Mark, Teralyon, Denieria and....and...Zoran!?
LAFONTAINE (mutters): Inability to maintain calmness on air...doubt his competence as head sports correspondent...further observation recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: I'm to-totally confident that our excellent rugby players will manage to seize victory even against the reigning Zoranian champions. (Whispers to LAFONTAINE.) Am I doing good? (Turns to the audience once more.) The organisers have informed us that our first match will be against Teralyon. Oh, those Teralyans better watch out! Us Santo-Dominians are gonna kick their a-
LAFONTAINE raises his eyebrows visibly. BLUBBERMAN gulps.
BLUBBERMAN: ...us Santo-Dominians are going to have a friendly and fair match against the Teralyons, during which Team SD will showcase the premier sportsmanship and respect we always have for opponents, rivals and friends alike. The same can be said for our matches against Saint Mark, Denieria and Zoran.
The recording studio's windows looking onto Spirit Park are closed; two large displays appear behind BLUBBERMAN. They display the words "HISTORY OF ZORAN" in large letters.
BLUBBERMAN: And before we go, let's talk about Zoran itself! It is a fascinating country indeed. Located in northern Andolia, Zoran is known for-
LAFONTAINE (to self): Lack of basic understanding of geography...fatally unprepared and uninformed...follow-up IQ test recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: ...Zoran is known for civil wars, refugees and...oh crap! Wait, Zoran isn't known for "oh crap". I'm sorry!
LAFONTAINE (to BLUBBERMAN): Oh my word, I can't anymore. You...you...!! Stop and wrap it up!
BLUBBERMAN: Eeek! Okay! Apologies to viewers out there, both at home and abroad. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to discuss the group allocations as well as Zoran itself as a nation. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
LAFONTAINE forcibly drags BLUBBERMAN off the set as busy interns clean up the recording studio and cut the camera.

RWC3 Commentary: Initial Group Allocations
Presented by Approctoflecticus Blubberman, SDCSN3 head sports correspondent, and Hector Lafontaine, SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor, Zeitpunkt watches! It's the prestigious watchmaker representing the highest pinnacle of Santo-Dominian luxury timepieces. I, the unprepared buffoon that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your obviously uninformed host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE: And I am Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards at SDCSN headquarters.
BLUBBERMAN: WOAH! Oh-okay. I was not informed of this "partnership". Ahahaha! Wel-welcome Mr Lafontaine!
LAFONTAINE: This is not a "partnership", Blubberman - I am your the superior of your direct superior, and I'm under orders from corporate to keep an eye on you. This is a senior-subordinate relationship.
BLUBBERMAN: Ahahaha, yes, right, totally! I understand, I get it, I do. Anyways, let's get straight to talking about the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE takes out a notepad and begins to jot notes furiously as BLUBBERMAN nervously continues his reporting, taking occasional glances at the notepad's contents.
BLUBBERMAN: The organisers of RWC3 have released the group allocations for this event, we've been told. Let's display them on the screen here. According to this graphic produced by the organisers, Team Santos-Dominius will face off against the likes of Saint Mark, Teralyon, Denieria and....and...Zoran!?
LAFONTAINE (mutters): Inability to maintain calmness on air...doubt his competence as head sports correspondent...further observation recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: I'm to-totally confident that our excellent rugby players will manage to seize victory even against the reigning Zoranian champions. (Whispers to LAFONTAINE.) Am I doing good? (Turns to the audience once more.) The organisers have informed us that our first match will be against Teralyon. Oh, those Teralyans better watch out! Us Santo-Dominians are gonna kick their a-
LAFONTAINE raises his eyebrows visibly. BLUBBERMAN gulps.
BLUBBERMAN: ...us Santo-Dominians are going to have a friendly and fair match against the Teralyons, during which Team SD will showcase the premier sportsmanship and respect we always have for opponents, rivals and friends alike. The same can be said for our matches against Saint Mark, Denieria and Zoran.
The recording studio's windows looking onto Spirit Park are closed; two large displays appear behind BLUBBERMAN. They display the words "HISTORY OF ZORAN" in large letters.
BLUBBERMAN: And before we go, let's talk about Zoran itself! It is a fascinating country indeed. Located in northern Andolia, Zoran is known for-
LAFONTAINE (to self): Lack of basic understanding of geography...fatally unprepared and uninformed...follow-up IQ test recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: ...Zoran is known for civil wars, refugees and...oh crap! Wait, Zoran isn't known for "oh crap". I'm sorry!
LAFONTAINE (to BLUBBERMAN): Oh my word, I can't anymore. You...you...!! Stop and wrap it up!
BLUBBERMAN: Eeek! Okay! Apologies to viewers out there, both at home and abroad. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to discuss the group allocations as well as Zoran itself as a nation. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
LAFONTAINE forcibly drags BLUBBERMAN off the set as busy interns clean up the recording studio and cut the camera.

Sports Report Newsroom, Giovannistadt—10:00 AM International Atomic Time, 8th February 1422
Welcome to the third edition of the Giovannilandian Rugby Report! I am Carlos Nakamura-Edristyn, the main host of the Giovannilandian Sports Report and of its special rugby edition that aims to keep Giovannilandians informed of the latest happenings of the 3rd Rugby World Cup. If you didn't know yet, this edition of the World Cup is being hosted in an Auran country for the second time in a row, namely Zoran! After the 2nd edition was hosted in the far away lands of northern Aura, this time it's closer to home, as the beautiful waters of Darkesian Sea separate our northern coast to their southern one.
We've already dispatched a team of reporters to the northern Zoranian city of Leo Rugiet, whose Markanus Stadium will host all matches of Group C, the group where our team will play during the group stage. This city certainly has an interesting history, as its northern location made it a key point of contact between Zoran and Saint Mark during the Pax Markana, the era of Saint Markian domination of all of Aura except for our Lavender Island. Furthermore, smaller teams of journalists are also present in Divando Gadoalatesv, Daninogisgv Galosga (Marelitus) and Yemiduga City, the hosts for groups A, B and D respectively.
Furthermore, we've also received news that King Giovanni I will travel to Zoran soon and possibly visit heads of state from some of the 19 other nations present in the tournament. It is expected that the Prime Minister, Amore Gil Albrecht, will stay at Giovannistadt, although Minister of Sports Fernando Azevedo-Wilsim may also go along with the King and his security guard. And while we talk about Zoran, we find it important to remind you, the visitor that may be traveling to see the games, of the warnings present in the host country information page: be careful with landmines, avoid disturbing their national animal which is the platypus, and be mindful when talking or hearing about the Yemiduga Massacre.
Anyways, now we'll talk about the group stage! In addition to our team, Group C brings together champions of the 1st Rugby World Cup Hertfordshire and Jammbo (H&J); hosts of the recent Twenty20 World Cup Larxia; Lavender Island neighbors and tournament newcomers Blue Bubble; and last but not least the Polarian team and also newcomer Hanita Gracse. With two nations from Aura, another two from Andolia, and one from Polaris, this group of the World Cup brings five very different countries, only two of which will move forward to the knockout stage.
While the Equipa Nacionala Giovannilandiana de Rugbio has the second-highest score in the rugby rankings authored by the nation of Dalimbar, only lower than H&J, the other three teams cannot be underestimated. Our first match will be against Hanita Gracse, and we wish good luck to our team in the opening round. After that, it is against the southern Andolian nation that the Giovannilandian team will then play against, in a match pitting two of the strongest rugby teams of Esferos against each other. Matchday 3 will see a bye for the Giovannilandians, after which they will play against Larxia and lastly Blue Bubble.
In order to bring this first report to a perfect end, we have also prepared a special interview for you. Magdalena Vindamir, former head of the press corps covering the Kharventhin events of the 2nd Summer Esferiad, has made a comeback and now leads the live coverage of the Giovannilandian team at Leo Rugiet. She has managed to contact Rio Schmidt, captain of our national rugby team, for an interview, so we'll now connect with her.
"Hello, Magdalena!", greets Carlos.
"Hey there!", answers Magdalena. "This morning, we're here for an interview with Rio Schmidt. Rio, you've represented the Giovannilandian team as its captain for all three editions of the Rugby World Cup including this one. What are your feelings about the upcoming matches?"
Rio answers: "Greetings! I think our team will be able to perform greatly in this World Cup, and am excited to play again in an official capacity since I played as part of the Rugby Sevens Esferiad team at home and helped it earn a bronze medal there."
"Now for the second question," Magdalena continued, "what are some changes that the team has had since the last Rugby World Cup?"
"In the World Cup of 1421 our team did not have a result as good as the 1420 one, but this time we are under new management, with Theodoro Urial-Hilvenor and Valkyria Gradanita-Rossi being the same manager and coach as in the 2nd Summer Esferiad respectively. Furthermore, we've also brought new talents from all across Giovanniland, making a team more nationally inclusive than before. For example, fellow players Samantha Alves-Nyima and Raymundo Amdo-Gyamtso are from the cities of Zartegal and Tumbergia, never represented in our team previously," remarked Rio.
"Thank you for the well-thought answer!", noted Magdalena. "Last but not least, I have a legacy question for you. Being a member of the Giovannilandian squad for all three editions of the cup, what is the best rugby memory you have from either of the two past ones?"
"Ooh... this is hard," thought Rio. "There are many, but if I were to choose one, it was assisting Simone Hamilton and Pietro Zapata in both their 3-point scoring during the Giovanniland vs Dalimbar 3rd place match of the 1st Rugby World Cup. Our team went from behind to win the match and finish third in the tournament, and that was certainly a great match to remember for many years."
"That sounds like a nice memory indeed," commented Magdalena. "Thank you for your time in this short interview, Rio. Now I give you back the floor, Carlos, if you have anything else to talk about."
"Actually, that's it for this first episode of the Rugby Report's third edition, I'm afraid my time is up anyways. Our TV channel will move on to non-sports news, so see you in two days for another Rugby Report, where I'll talk about the results of the first match!

RWC3 Commentary: Initial Group Allocations
Presented by Approctoflecticus Blubberman, SDCSN3 head sports correspondent, and Hector Lafontaine, SDCSN Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards
[OOC Disclaimer: The following RP is presented as a script. Imagine as if these characters said and did these things on live television, which is then compiled into a clip and put on the SDCSN Sports website.]
BLUBBERMAN: Hello, everyone! From Spirit Park in Divando Gadoatalesv, Zoran, we at Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network Channel 3 bring you live coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! Our RWC3 coverage is brought to you by our generous sponsor, Zeitpunkt watches! It's the prestigious watchmaker representing the highest pinnacle of Santo-Dominian luxury timepieces. I, the unprepared buffoon that is Approctoflecticus Blubberman, will be your obviously uninformed host for the entire duration of the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE: And I am Hector Lafontaine, Assistant Editor-in-Chief for Ethics & Standards at SDCSN headquarters.
BLUBBERMAN: WOAH! Oh-okay. I was not informed of this "partnership". Ahahaha! Wel-welcome Mr Lafontaine!
LAFONTAINE: This is not a "partnership", Blubberman - I am your the superior of your direct superior, and I'm under orders from corporate to keep an eye on you. This is a senior-subordinate relationship.
BLUBBERMAN: Ahahaha, yes, right, totally! I understand, I get it, I do. Anyways, let's get straight to talking about the 3rd Rugby World Cup.
LAFONTAINE takes out a notepad and begins to jot notes furiously as BLUBBERMAN nervously continues his reporting, taking occasional glances at the notepad's contents.
BLUBBERMAN: The organisers of RWC3 have released the group allocations for this event, we've been told. Let's display them on the screen here. According to this graphic produced by the organisers, Team Santos-Dominius will face off against the likes of Saint Mark, Teralyon, Denieria and....and...Zoran!?
LAFONTAINE (mutters): Inability to maintain calmness on air...doubt his competence as head sports correspondent...further observation recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: I'm to-totally confident that our excellent rugby players will manage to seize victory even against the reigning Zoranian champions. (Whispers to LAFONTAINE.) Am I doing good? (Turns to the audience once more.) The organisers have informed us that our first match will be against Teralyon. Oh, those Teralyans better watch out! Us Santo-Dominians are gonna kick their a-
LAFONTAINE raises his eyebrows visibly. BLUBBERMAN gulps.
BLUBBERMAN: ...us Santo-Dominians are going to have a friendly and fair match against the Teralyons, during which Team SD will showcase the premier sportsmanship and respect we always have for opponents, rivals and friends alike. The same can be said for our matches against Saint Mark, Denieria and Zoran.
The recording studio's windows looking onto Spirit Park are closed; two large displays appear behind BLUBBERMAN. They display the words "HISTORY OF ZORAN" in large letters.
BLUBBERMAN: And before we go, let's talk about Zoran itself! It is a fascinating country indeed. Located in northern Andolia, Zoran is known for-
LAFONTAINE (to self): Lack of basic understanding of geography...fatally unprepared and uninformed...follow-up IQ test recommended...
BLUBBERMAN: ...Zoran is known for civil wars, refugees and...oh crap! Wait, Zoran isn't known for "oh crap". I'm sorry!
LAFONTAINE (to BLUBBERMAN): Oh my word, I can't anymore. You...you...!! Stop and wrap it up!
BLUBBERMAN: Eeek! Okay! Apologies to viewers out there, both at home and abroad. This is the channel for live and direct coverage of the 3rd Rugby World Cup! I'm Approctoflecticus Blubberman, and it's been really nice to discuss the group allocations as well as Zoran itself as a nation. Stay tuned to SDCSN Channel 3 for coverage of RWC3, and see you whenever stuff happens!
LAFONTAINE forcibly drags BLUBBERMAN off the set as busy interns clean up the recording studio and cut the camera.

Einherfell Fan “Just Happy to Be Here” as Fields Burn Behind Him

by Dean Morris, Guest Writer
DANINOGISGV GALOSGA, Zoran — As international tensions and unique cultures clash during Group B competition of the 3rd World Cup, an easygoing rugby fan from Einherfell told reporters that he is “just happy to be here”.
After ducking to avoid shrapnel from a leftover mine, he continued: “I mean, I came an awful long way to get here. It’s great to see my homeland in the World Cup.”
He was again interrupted by Basric cursing as a Nieubasrian and Fujansk simultaneously converged on a Dalimbari fan across the field. The Einherfella gestured toward them. “I gotta say, you don’t get this experience on live TV.
”I wish my family could have been here, but I’ve made some friends already. Like Ronald over there.” He pointed to a young man passed out on the bleachers, wearing a Dilber shirt with a half-empty cartridge of unspecified content beside him. “He’s really chill.” 
By this point the Dalimbari fan had lit a portion of the field on fire in the fight and royal Zoranian authorities were attempting to regain control of the situation to no avail. Asked if he planned to make the trip to future World Cups, the Einherfell fan smiled serenely. “Provided I survive this one.”

3rd Rugby World Cup - All you need to know(?)
By Approctoflecticus Blubberman, SDCSN3 head correspondent for sports

Rugby! What is it? How do you play it? And why do I not know about it, just like you? Well, I only know the answer to one of those three questions, but I hope I will be able to educate you today by copying information straight off the Internet and then pasting it here. What do you mean "that's plagiarism"? I've been told by my lawyers here at the Santo-Dominian Cable-Satellite Network that I am free of trouble as long as I don't name where I got my stuff from. Anyways, let's talk rugby!
Just like lots of other popular sports, rugby involves a ball. Unlike many other sports, the ball is oval-shaped and not spherical. You can see how a rugby ball looks in that image above. Because I can't be bothered to actually understand how rugby works, I'll make a comparison to make it easier for you to misunderstand how rugby is. Think of rugby as "diet football/soccer" (don't kill me football/soccer fans) - you score points when you make the ball land somewhere, you have two teams of 10+ people playing on two sides of a rectangular field, there's penalties, you kick the ball instead of throwing, and women who play the sport almost always get forced to wear uncomfortably revealing clothing (just like any other sport, really). I'm sorry if you're truly interested in learning about rugby, but my bosses higher up at SDCSN don't pay me enough to make me actually understand the sport (that's the answer to the third question at the beginning - thank me for being so informative).
I'm sure Santo-Dominians at home and abroad will be pondering a burning question in their heads: why is rugby getting all this attention lately? Well - if you somehow managed to literally miss the title of this article - that's because the 3rd Rugby World Cup is about to begin in Zoran, our Auran non-neighbour to the east! 20 nations in total have signed up for this event, with some big names like Dalimbar and United Adaikes (2nd and 3rd in the 2nd Rugby World Cup respectively) as well as the Zoranians themselves, who won the preceding Rugby World Cup. Will Zoran make use of its home advantage and shut out everyone else to defend its throne, will Dalimbar blast them sky high and grab the crown, or will United Adaikes... .... ...actually they aren't that violent and chaotic. Darn, couldn't really finish that joke on a high note there.
Anyways - back to talking about RWC3. If you are somehow still interested in it and want to watch it, well I have got some news for you: SDCSN Channel 3 will be broadcasting the event live, with I myself serving as commentator and host! Yes, that's right, the great magnanimous corporate sell-out Blubberman has returned when the world needed a dose of unhinged absurdity the most. Do you want to watch an adult man cheer or cry on live television depending on how Team SD fare? Do you want to watch second-rate live footage filmed by below-average cameras? And do you want to watch a television network that ends all coverage of RWC3 inexplicably if Team SD is eliminated? If you said "yes" to all of those questions, then SDCSN3 will be just right for you. And if you said "no", remember that SDCSN depends not only on advertising revenue, but also on your support and viewership! If you don't watch us, I won't get the money to pay for my 2nd lakeside mansion in Friberne. Please! It's an urgent cause. Tune into SDCSN3 - half of us will be waiting for you when RWC3 starts, because the other half will have resigned in search for actually good employment. See you!