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Lazarus Elects Funkadelia as New Chairman


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Lazarus Elects Funkadelia as New Chairman
COMMENTARY | UNIBOT

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“The Rejected Times runs out of stock photos of Chinese elections…”

Another term ended, another Chairman elected. Lazarus has gone the polls and chosen to elect Funkadelia as its newest Chairman. Funkadelia was a favourite among the smorgasbord of candidates during the race – last week, The Rejected Times’s Election Fever panel of commentators also named Funkadelia as the frontrunner. He has most recently served as Kazmr’s Vice Chairman and took the initiative to communicate with foreign leaders in Kazmr’s absence.

While Funkadelia arguably stands as the candidate with the most similar views as Kazmr, Milograd on Election Fever noted that every Chairman brings their own legacy to the position to help redefine the region. Milograd brought a communist culture to Lazarus, Kazmr brought his savvy and colorful media to Lazarus, like Mao Zedong’s teachings or Deng Xiaoping thought, all eyes are on what new doctrine ... on what new way forward that Funkadelia will pursue in the Sister Sinker.

“I am very excited to be elected as the Chairman of the People's Republic of Lazarus,” Funkadelia tells The Rejected Times, “This is an office that I hold with high regard, and I am humbled to be given the honor to serve Lazarus in this capacity”.

When asked what his immediate plans were for Lazarus, the focus was clear.

“I plan on simply increasing activity,” says Funkadelia, “With the inactivity of Comrade Kazmr, Lazarus remained more inactive than I would like to see it be, so I plan on turning that trend around”.

The new leader only found out he had won at the top of the wolf’s hour, thus the appointment of his Vice Chairman has yet to have been decided, however his other appointments favoured some of the region’s most beloved newer and older members.

“I have already appointed Ikania as the new Governor of the Information district,” says Funkadelia, “and he will be running the Lazarene Gazette. I also appointed Fantome as the new Governor of the Judicial District. I am confident in his abilities as he served Lazarus well during his time as Chief of Police. Overall, I am very pleased with the prospects of this new government, and I plan on having Lazarus returned to the levels of activity we have seen in the months following the founding of the People's Republic of Lazarus”.

Lazarus appears to be in safe hands and sailing towards greater heights, but one question… the most important question of all remains: how did he plan to be watching the match tomorrow?

Funkadelia laughed, telling The Rejected Times that he hoped the election translated into a successful game for their World Cup pick, Germany, for their match tomorrow against Portugal.

“Auf geht's, Deutschland!” he says proudly.

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