Bhang Bhang Duc Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 As usual a pleasure to read Uni. Thanks for the update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Intelligent Holograms Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 ...we may award you the title of Doctor-of-Letters (D.Litt). -NS's first sign of academia? A throughly entertaining and informative update, thank ye. It's always good to hear what's happening on the raider/defender side of NS, we don't do a lot of that here in TWP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God-Emperor Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Thanks for the update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unibot Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of The United Defenders League, This week, during the slower part, I was focused on foreign affairs – expanding The United Defenders League’s base of embassies to new and exciting frontiers (*tips his hat in the general direction of Panopticon, Normandy, World Alliance and International Western Union*). I was then abruptly reminded why The United Defenders League had never applied for an embassy with The New Inquisition… Your account has been temporarily suspended. This suspension is due to end on Mar 26 4749, 11:23 PM. Oh yeah… the war thingy-doo about the do-da-doo Concosia thingy, yeah right. Nonetheless, in recognition of the fact that February was one of the most intense naps in the history of invasion history, The United Defenders League awarded Raiderdom with the Chief’s Award “for their month-long disappearance which has kept NationStates safer than ever before”. Other Monthly Awards included Democratic Socialist Alliance’s New Andureo nabbing the coveted “Newcomer Award”, Ajzland And Birolika sharing the ever-so lovely Liberator Award and finally, Hodori continuing his complete domination of the Defender of the Month Award. However...the nap is over. It’s been a relatively modest but noticeably more upbeat presence on the battlefront, at least more so than the sleep-fests that occurred during February. The Black Riders kicked off the week by proving last update’s gloomy prediction wrong that The Middle East was on the “brink of total destruction” -- apparently that region has a founder who could remember his password …… SURPRISE! Congratulations to The Middle East for overcoming the invader threat. Meanwhile, our main operation this past week was a tight liberation of SPACE against Ainur and the Eurosphere (Europeia, TNI, Kantrias etc.), the final victorious score was 29-27. We’re really happy we could help SPACE out on such tight notice on a quiet Tuesday morning. <Gordonopia> SPPPAAACCCEEE SPPPAAACCCEEE SPPPAAACCCEEE SPPPAAACCCEEE SPPPAAACCCEEE <ThatYakGuy> Also, Uni, I told you I'd make it to the liberation. <ThatYakGuy> I drove like 70 on a 55 highway to be here. <ThatYakGuy> WORTH IT Continuing our “Space” theme, we freed “Luna” shortly thereafter in a smaller liberation against The Green Isles, who were backed up by The Black Riders. Participants received the following military ribbons for attending the SPACE and Luna liberation missions: (From left to right: SPACE, Luna) <Aardenland> So how do you organize these campaigns? <Tim> Pure Charisma <Tim> Unibot simply walks in and everyone organizes. <Tim> It's absolutely amazing. <Hodori> ^ <Tim> Oh, and it helps when I'm online to time the jumps. <Tim> But it's really all Unibot *nods* Tim is going to hate me for quoting him on that. Heh, I really wish that was true but I’ve got a great crew of people who make the magic happen on the battlefield -- I just try not to cramp their style. Nonetheless, The United Defenders League has also been involved with some smaller but recent military operations in The Library, The Islamic Republic of Iran, Pedestria, Coalition of Christian Communities, Defending Hallow, Koprulu, Iraq, and Singapura. I’m glad that the Greenwood Band was able to help these communities and it’s good to see the merrymen being regularly deployed again. <Carta> my op was unjustly revoked on the silly grounds that I "wasn't a member anymore" and that I "had no authority within the organization" <Carta> and that I "didn't deserve the ability to ban actual members of the organization from their own channel" I dunno, Carta, that all seems kind of oppressive to me *snickers*. But you know what seems really oppressive? Carta returning to The United Defenders League! The former Chief Lieutenant returned to The United Defenders League this week, riding a spotted multi-coloured cabbage-breathing camel as his triumphant return was greeted with warm praise and salutations, and then there was… <Campinia> Hey guys <Campinia> How's it been <Campinia> ? <Ravania> YIHAAAAAA <Karp> hi <Karp> rav's so excited he cant type <Unibot> CAMP! * Unibot runs and hugs Camp * Campinia gets crushed <Tim> OH MY GOD CAMPINIA IS BACK HOLY F**K YEESSSSSS … Campinia, Belgian Defender Extraordinaire (a shared title between Lt. Ravania and Riemstagrad). It’s not every day that two amazing people come back to join the team. We’re very excited to have Carta and Campinia return. Frankly, Campinia and Carta are family and we’ve missed them very much. As for other new members, this week we’ve also welcomed NS Mentor and roleplayer superstar, United Gordontopia to our ranks, as well as Finjaldn, Schmiegelland, New Sideburn, Aardenland, Schultaria Prime and Kialga, founder of International Western Union. I can’t wait to see what these new members will accomplish during their time with us and I wish them the best! United Gordontopia has already received the title of Doctor of Letters (D.Litt) for his submission to The Naivetry Reference Library, The Great Global Economics and Trade Survey. United Gordontopia is the first player to receive this title from the Library since the program began in February. Good work, United Gordontopia! Meanwhile, Lieutenant Solm added an entirely new function to The Gameplay Alignment Test. Several people wanted to see the sheer volume or frequency of respondents’ scores, so to allow this dimension of density, Solm has added a “heatmap” option which shows the density of the collected data. Awesome stuff, Solm! Also, if you look carefully on The Gameplay Alignment Test’s celebrity compass you’ll spot Frak on there now. Sadly he did not register as a cosmopolitan. Tis a shame really. Finally, we’ll be having Movie Night on March 16th 2013 at 8 PM. I figure we’ll continue our “space” theme with Star Wars: A New Hope. It’s high time that Lieutenant Earth finally watches it. Cue a repetitive but relevant emoticon. I leave you now with the Moment of Zen, tootles! <Earth> If you were NS porn, where would you be hiding? <Tim> The Ascendancy, where I'd be locked up in some f***ed up Ascendancy Sex Dungeon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God-Emperor Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 Thanks for the update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unibot Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of The United Defenders League, Hello everyone! Or in true Bazalonian fashion: *stabby stab stab*. *Bazalonia stabs Unibot * Cormac has joined #udl * ChanServ sets mode: +v Cormac * Bazalonia stabs Cormac <Cormac> Morning to you too Baz. <Bazalonia> <Bazalonia> Who says I'm hard to understand? * Bazalonia yawns * Bazalonia stabs Cormac and Frattastan * Bazalonia waves <Cormac> lol hai As I’m sure many of you have heard, there was an incident during last week where one of our Lieutenants reportedly leaked a thread (connected to the invasion of Warhammer 40000) to individuals in The United Defenders League – the disclosure of the thread was rash and disreputable on this officer’s part. During the crisis, punishments, some permanent and some temporary were dished out to members of The United Defenders League who read or were aware of the leaked thread. In the event that members could not be proven to have been unaware of the threads (they had no alibi), members were suspended of duties anyway to ensure that all guilty parties received their due. In many ways, the people punished the most with these suspensions were the people who had to take on the duties of the missing lieutenants and superior officers. Halving our staff for a week (and then some of the remaining officers attending Spring Break on top of that), left the organization, as a whole, majorly understaffed. So I’d just like to thank all of the senior staff who led The United Defenders League during the past week. Also: thank you, Lieutenant Earth, for serving as the “UDL Standing Leadership”; I’m so sorry that Lieutenant Earth got saddled with my job for a week because I know it’s one of the toughest positions in NationStates and it’s even harder during crises – I thought she did a marvellous job of organizing the inquiry of the event and otherwise leading the organization during this week. Nonetheless, with that disarray and staff shortage, The United Defenders League sadly wasn’t able to free Warhammer 40000 from The Black Hawks – that was probably the greatest punishment that could have been levied against a defender and I think myself and the other Lieutenants were affected by that greatly. However, we gave it a good shot – not many organizations can organize and run four solid operations back-to-back every twelve hours with twenty+ soldiers. <Unibot> TNI: They fought the clock and the clock won. <Galiantus> lol Our big mission of the past few weeks was a liberation of The Islamic Republic of Iran against the National Socialist League – an overwhelming 26-20 victory. You can read more about that mission and an official warning in regards to escalation in a recent article by The Sherwood Post. Also, on March 17, The United Defenders League lead defenderdom into battle against The Black Riders during a minor update and defeated The Black Riders soundly – defenderdom was responsible for protecting more than 70% of The Black Riders’ targeted victims. Additionally, The Greenwood Band also liberated Avalon from its Kantrian (Kantrian not Kantian, nowhere neeear Kantian -- goddahm spellcheck!) overlords. Excellent job guys. Below is the military ribbon for The Islamic Republic of Iran and Avalon liberations and the medal awarded for the merit shown during those remarkable defences on March 17. The Greenwood Band also contributed to the liberations of Middle Earth, Gensokyo, Samsung, Death Star and The Armed Coalition, the latter against The West Pacific Armed Forces. There were also some liberations, defences and just general skirmishes through the week that we didn’t record. The battlefield has been steadily getting more active as we approach April. During the past week, our Defender “Assistant”, FriarTuck has been offline, so Lieutenant Johz (bless him), went out of his way to code us a substitute assistant. I would just like to express my glee that said “bot” is K-9’s older brother, K-8 *barks*. <Earth> .in 15 minutes unibot go eat FriarTuck> Earth: Okay, will remind at 22:31Z <Carta> .in 1 seconds unibot breath <FriarTuck> Carta: Okay, will remind in 1 secs <FriarTuck> Carta: unibot breath <Carta> he will die <Carta> unless we remind him to breath, eat, drink, sleep, etc. <Carta> <Unibot> Schmiegelland, you up for a lib? <Schmiegelland> Ah, yes <Schmiegelland> When will it be? <Tim-Opolis> In about 5 hours. <Unibot> Erm <Unibot> Four <NewSapienta> so at what time on the little c*** <NewSapienta> CLOCK <Tim-Opolis> XD <Tim-Opolis> LOL <NewSapienta> I MEAN CLOCK In administrative news, The United Defenders League’s officers have voted in favor of ascending St. Georgie (Mad Jack) to the Hall of Honour – although a current member, he was (mistakenly) not moved to the Hall of Honour during his past departure from The United Defenders League. Furthermore, The Greenwood Band is very happy to announce that The East Pacific has recently ratified “An Act of Friendship, Development and Mutual Respect for Sovereignty between The East Pacific and The United Defenders League”. The treaty is a strong legislative icebreaker for a bright future for our diplomatic relationship; the treaty outlines The United Defenders League’s development program with The East Pacific, in addition to The East Pacific recognizing that they "sympathize with The United Defenders League's noble cause of securing these freedoms abroad across NationStates" and The United Defenders League praising The East Pacific's stability, reasonableness and maturity. Hileville’s statement on the Treaty goes into more depth on this subject. We’re currently in the early stages of getting the development program set up, but in a future update I’ll discuss what’s going on with that program as we move forward. As for new members; during the past few weeks we’ve welcomed Doughertania, Reddogkeno101, Greymlan, Kromar, Swith Witherward, Owl Cities, Nazi Flower Power, Thafoo, Schwabenreich, Bokeryville and our most recent, but definitely not least, Charax. I’ve seen most of this crew already actively on the field and enjoying their time – that’s absolutely wonderful to see! Moreover, Congratulations to Charax and United Gordonopia on passing their Defender Exams and meeting the requirements of their new appointment. It’s lovely to see such dedication from our newer members. We also had the pleasure of welcoming Cormac Stark and Cromarty back to The United Defenders League – Cormac was a former Lieutenant and the first member to receive our coveted “Newcomer of the Month” award; Cromarty was also a former Lieutenant and is currently the Pharaoh of Osiris. <Mahaj> You are now higher ranked than Uni <Mahaj> I recommend you boss him around a lot <Mahaj> you can still do it even when he's chief of the band, but it’s more fun now <Gordonopia> Lol, I'll do my best As for some final notes. I continually get asked “What’s UDL’s position on The West Pacific”; as you may or may not know, The West Pacific’s government has been couped recently. We are neutral on the coup – no troops have been order to support either side and it is unlikely that troops will be called to support either side. If you would like to read up on The United Defenders League’s policy on feeder coups, feel free to review our Rogue Delegacies and Administrations Policy. I hope everyone has a Happy April Fools (the –best– day of the year for NationStaters). As for this “Regions will Fall” nonsense – don’t panic! The Greenwood Band is prepared for (almost) anything. Here’s your Moment of Zen. <Earth> "4 minutes ago: The Nomadic Peoples of Erotic Leprosy ceased to exist." I have yet to figure out the coding to this forum for centering images??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westwind Posted March 29, 2013 Author Share Posted March 29, 2013 Ahem...time for corrections.... the latter against The West Pacific Armed Forces You merely invaded and changed the WFE after we completed our mission, which included both TWP Armed Forces and Volunteers of Westwind's Flying Circus in equal numbers. The West Pacific’s government has been couped recently No. The West Pacific government continues to run as it did prior to Delegate Yy4u renouncing the WA, and WIckedly Evil People becoming the new Delegate. There is simply two separate governmental entities in TWP....The Provisional Government and WECA. I have yet to figure out the coding to this forum for centering images??? Try center and /center Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 wow I have never read this before. Do you talk this much in real life? And mind you this is coming from a guy that talks nearly non stop in real life, sleeps maybe 5 hours a day on average, and never stops. I'm amazed at the amount of verbiage, it is really quite astounding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unibot Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 I'm quiet in real life, but fairly talkative in NationStates. I don't sleep a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westwind Posted March 29, 2013 Author Share Posted March 29, 2013 Unibot almost steals the nickname Uni away from Unistrut in my mind......almost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 gosh I haven't talked to Unistrut forever, wonder how he's doing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westwind Posted March 29, 2013 Author Share Posted March 29, 2013 Dunno, he used to pop up once in awhile here and there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkesia Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 When Unibot first came on the scene, I thought it was Unistrut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punkdaddy Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 ...he'll never steal that nickname. Uni will always be Unistrut. Uni only is afforded that nick because Unistrut is long retired, but were he to return...It's 'bot for me when referencing Unibot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westwind Posted March 29, 2013 Author Share Posted March 29, 2013 ^ *seconds this* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unibot Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 *sighs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bhang Bhang Duc Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 When Unibot first came on the scene, I thought it was Unistrut. Give me Unibot any day - Unistrut was one of the external arseholes who arrived here along with Vlagh during the WPD, if I remember correctly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westwind Posted March 31, 2013 Author Share Posted March 31, 2013 Unistrut was mearly......taking advantage of an opportunity. Like when he pretended to join the NPO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God-Emperor Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 I'm not familiar with him. Guess I gotta brush up on my ancient history. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westwind Posted March 31, 2013 Author Share Posted March 31, 2013 Among many other things......Unistrut was ADN (Alliance Defense Network) Admin .....as was I and Pope Hope. He's an..... um....talented....Intel operative and Defense leader. He also (covertly) lead the Sons of Liberty, who raided raiders when they were out raiding others. Many defenders objected to taking offensive action against raiders, so other avenues were created to carry out such actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God-Emperor Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Thanks for the history lesson, ancient one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unibot Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 The Gameplay Magic Eight Ball From the creators of The Gameplay Alignment Test and NS Weather. Introduction Have you ever been stuck not knowing what do in NationStates? Should I raid this or defend that? Kill the Zombies or research for a cure? Well now you can completely defer those very important questions to Gameplay's very own Magic Eight Ball. In one simple, very easy click of a button, this Magic Eight Ball will provide the answers to all of your problems. Examples of Satisfied Customers The Gameplay Magic Eight Ball Click to try this product out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unibot Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 LOGBOOK ENTRY: 1 APRIL 2:47:04 EDT AM Hileville spotted signs of unusual behavior from the Magic Eight Ball. Hileville reported the behavior suspecting tomfoolery. I was confused. I did not understand how this behavior had been written into the code. I panicked. Senior Merryman Hodori confirmed the strange behavior. I now suspect that the Magic Eight Ball was infected by the Zombie scourge. LOGBOOK ENTRY: 1 APRIL 11:48:12 EDT AM The Magic Eight Ball has gotten progressively worse. It appears to be fully infected now -- its "zombie conscious" has completely taken over the life-form. To save as many lives as possible, I must act swiftly. I have declared the Magic Eight Ball quarantined and I have initiated the F.R.I.A.R.T.U.C.K Forum Lock-down Security System. God help us all. ENTER THE FORUMS AT YOUR OWN RISK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westwind Posted April 1, 2013 Author Share Posted April 1, 2013 Zombies, zombies everywhere, And not a brain to eat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unibot Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 LOGBOOK ENTRY: 1 APRIL 4:18:26 EDT PM The Magic ZOMBIE Eight Ball has gotten lose on the forums. F.R.I.A.R.T.U.C.K has yet to have eradicated the menace -- it wasn't designed to protect us against Zombies! Goddammit Eluvatar, why didn't you think of that??? PLEASE HELP US!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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