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A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of The United Defenders League,

Spare me the drama, oh please spare me!

NationStates Moderators (11 days ago)

You are banned from ever joining the WA again with any nation.

I did not mean "spare" in that way! Yikes. Fortunately, the moderators had a change of heart when they noted that server difficulties had contributed to my mistake during update; you can read more about that drama here, but the key things to draw from this is: Unibot is back in the World Assembly and there is a new application system for The World Assembly – applications are processed in mere seconds now and nations can apply to the World Assembly with the same email address but are simply barred from joining more than one at a time (this is called “safe switching”).

<Unibot> We could ask Max Barry to come out for a liberation :P

<Peasley> when max enters a region he probably just becomes wa delegate

How does a returning defender celebrate' date=' you may ask? I may have arranged a thirty-man liberation of Eastern Islands of Dharma. Granted, it wasn’t successful. But, fun? Hell yes. Nobody else in NationStates gets the privilege to lead armies that large into battle anymore, so beyond just being really thankful for all of my staff’s support, I would like them to know that if there was one thing I would have missed most with my World Assembly access gone it would be been being on the frontlines with them during a major liberation. There is a certain energy that runs through the group on those nights that just draws you in and makes you want to be a part of it.

Anyways, pardon my indulgence there. But it’s not all failed liberations here, no siree! The United Defenders League has liberated World Union, Tea Party Conservatives, The Shinobi Operatives in the past week and it liberated another region this morning under the leadership of Lieutenant Mahaj. But wait! There’s more!! I’m very happy to announce that The Greenwood Band was able to liberate Roman Empire from The Brotherhood of Malice. For this mission, the twenty defenders that showed for one of the two attempts to liberate Roman Empire, get a lovely military ribbon for their service, while the elite ten defenders that attended both liberation attempts get a special military ribbon. See below:

[center']Roman_Empire.pngRoman_EmpireII.png[/center]

<Akimonad> "The UDL punched 18 people in the face this month"

Anyways. Um' date=' defenses. I had started a “list” of defenses to record what we did this past week, it reads as written: Ishedus, Schleswigstein, Mitchell. *coughs* I can assure you we did more than three defenses, I am fairly certainly I stopped counting after about ten minutes. Lest we forget all of the restoration missions that the group has been pulling off too over this week; for every completed invasion, there’s a removal of that spam by hard-working individuals – go team go! For all of their hard work, [b']The Monthly Awards[/b] recognizes a lot of effort by various defenders on the staff; a big shout out goes to Merryman Hodori, our Month’s newcomer, as well as Press Secretary Cormac who picked up his second “Spotter of the Month” award in a row and finally, Lieutenant Earth and Lieutenant Tim, who were awarded the Chief’s Award and praised for their dedication and strategic napping before Major Update (honestly I am so proud of you guys).

* Euroslavia pushes Milo off a cliff

<Euroslavia> into BUNNIES

<Milograd> ...you monster.

<Milograd> You want to see the bunnies crushed' date=' Euro?

<Milograd> What kind of sick bastard are you? D:

<Euroslavia> :D[/quote']

Hey, be nice to those bunnies; those be new members, you hear! Indeed, The United Defenders League is proud to have a fresh crate of bunnies and kittens delivered to our doorstep as we greet the following into the Greenwood Band this week: Kulaloe, The Miskito Coast, Bazalonia, Hodori, Triodard and Florard, Napkiraly, Flardania, Menassa, TaQud, Austeres and Contamenesia. Good luck, all of you. I hope you enjoy our group and have a lot of fun kicking butt, restoring regions and not sleeping enough.

Anyways, on a final note. I am getting NS Married at 10:30 EST to Earth22 (Lynna Stark) in #Sherwood_Chapel . Please join us. :)

As for your “Who would have thunk?” moment of the update: Unistrut, former ADN Deputy Director, recently did the Gameplay Alignment Test. His score was -2 , -8.5; near Whamabama. Who would have thunk!?

Okay, I got to get suited up for my wedding! Here’s your Moment of Zen:

<Tim> ROMAN ORGY ADS ARE BACK

<Solm> Just for you' date=' Tim

<Tim> yessss

<Tim> whoo!

<Tim> I get all teh Roman Orgy

<Milograd> ROMAN ORGY ADS ARE BACK <<< Excellent. I miss my Roman orgies.[/quote']

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Yes, it's only justice that you should be restored to the WA. I cannot tell you the problems that have happened with me in the past with switching between NS regions while previous posts remain in computer caches and so-on! The very distant past, of course...don't know much about things nowadays.

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Yes, it's only justice that you should be restored to the WA. I cannot tell you the problems that have happened with me in the past with switching between NS regions while previous posts remain in computer caches and so-on! The very distant past, of course...don't know much about things nowadays.

Oh I've been deleted for some grade-A bullshit too. :P

I was deleted most recently for contacting about twenty senior players in NS about the Gameplay Alignment Test so I could promote it enough to make a Celebrity Compass. This was deemed to be illegal recruitment spam. >_>

I was caught "multing" after I had handed a nation to a player for a mission and my auto-login script login'd automatically to that nation one day on a routine schedule.

I was also caught "multing" for about a minute by accident -- which is usually not a problem, since the server couldn't catch that. But this was caught by Sedgistan personally who was watching me during update for problems from me -- he reported me to the rest of the staff personally and circumvented the usual protocol for catching multing. Most players got off when it was only for a minute and it was fixed by the player, this was not the case with me because Sedgistan had a grudge against me, basically. Most of the staff on UDL would have a moderation list just as long as I have if they actually went after players like they do when they think you're a "trouble player"; they give most players the benefit of the doubt, but if you're deemed a "trouble player", they will go out of their way to find the little stuff.

Ah, well there's more to go with that. >_> But most of my mod rap-sheet is a lesson in how to become DOS without doing anything most people would consider bad. But if you tell the moderation staff this, they view it as you not taking responsibility for your actions and they increase how strictly they infringe the rules on you, because how "irresponsible" you are viewed as is factored into the severity of punishments. People would tell the mods they are correct in every way and beg are more likely to succeed in an appeal, then people who claim to be innocent -- if this wasn't clear, it was very clear when even Max Barry told me an email I had made it very difficult for him to argue I didn't deserve the first multing charge because I tried to claim I was innocent (I at the time didn't know about the script going off -- I didn't have any bloody idea what had caused the multing but this was taken as "irresponsibility").

However, don't get the idea that the entire Moderation staff is "evil"; honestly, with each incident, I've had more and more members of the Moderation staff come to privately tell me that they think what is going is wrong (and avoided using telegrams because my telegrams are basically being read openly by the moderators ... this is just a fact, I've known it for years). >_> And lot of those staff members are good people. But there's a triad or so of moderators that have been pushing a real hard-line against me for quite a while and pushing the other moderators to agree with it when they need the support -- I think with a lot of the "bad" rulings, it's this same triad pushing for the ruling they want. You will not see the triad replaced, because two of them are the most productive moderators and one of them is basically their lover.

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Perhaps, in these days of cosmetic enhancement surgery, Sedge has accidentally had a charisma-ectomy and an extra arshole grafted on where his mouth used to be! To use an old term, Sedge is what we used to call an "arshole-crawler". He's the type of historically notorious person that would betray his own people to the Nazis to bolster his own self-importance!

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A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of The United Defenders League,

MERRY OMIGOD-EXAMS-ARE-OVER (and moreover, Happy Hanukkah)! It has been an absolutely hellish week for me due to exams, but that is now all over and I look forward to the holidays. I hope everyone else is also looking to wind down for the holidays and take a break -- especially The Black Riders *wink wink*.

As we transition into the holidays, I’ve been trying to check off all of the traditions that I need to remember to do. There seems to be several boxes on my checklist I will probably check off still.

☑ Defend Christmas.

☐ Liberate Christmas.

☐ Debate over whether it is right or wrong, in particular, to attack Christmas or whether there are any real natives in Christmas yada yada yada.

☑ Decorate the UDL forum.

☐ Send Christmas Cards out to UDLers.

☑ Decorate the Unibot flag (must outdo my awesome snowman from last year).

☐ Bitch about my home-internet’s connection speed while defending.

You’ll note from the list that I usually send Christmas Cards out to the various members of the Greenwood Band – this year I will be posting them on their home region’s forum instead of their Regional Message Board, just as a note. Also, Sherwood Forest is all decorated now! Chief Lieutenant Solm diligently put up the Christmas lights and the Christmas tree; I recommend taking a look at the customized Christmas tree -- it was quite fun to make.

In The United Defenders League, internally, we’re doing a prize giveaway; if a member shows up for all four of our Christmas events, they collect four chucks of Candy-cane to make a whole Candy-Cane prize to be placed on their forum profile. Two of those events, Secret-Santa and a Skype-Night, are just open to our members, but the other two events require your participation to make it awesome! First, on Dec 22, 2012 6 PM EST on #udl on Espernet, The United Defenders League will be opening up its private military channel to the public to watch a Christmas classic (or something like that) -- it isn’t decided yet which film we’re watching, but I believe it’s currently a bloody showdown between Miracle on 34th Street and Tim Burton’s Night before Christmas on the forum poll.

Second, my merrymen and I are going to be carolling around NationStates on Regional Message Boards on Sunday, Dec 23, 2012 – if you want us to carol in your region, just contact me by telegram and book a time for us to show up to carol (note: we need executive permission to post on RMBs)!

Whoa, hold on, there’s a Christmas special on T.V featuring a Claymation Elf! Eeek! *scampers over to the living room*

<Mahaj> mall is suggesting raiding is too hard

<Mahaj> and defending is too easy

<Mahaj> MALL YOU DO THE F**KING EASIEST THING IN THE GAME

<Mahaj> IT’S HARDER TO ANSWER AN ISSUE THAN IT IS TO RAID

<Earth> xD

<Earth> I liked what Sedge said' date=' though

<Mahaj> "I'm the only representative in this summit not chosen to represent an agenda" = "hooray i get to pursue my own agenda"[/quote']

*returns from three hours of Christmas T.V specials* Actually to be fair to Sedgistan, I liked his agenda too, but, yes the “R/D” Conference has begun. The United Defenders League is happy to see two of its members, Chief Lieutenant Solm and Lieutenant Earth as representatives in the Gameplay Conference -- I’m sure they’ll both do very well. One of the major subjects being discussed is “piling” and how liberations can be made to be more competitive and I am looking forward to reforms in that area, especially bearing in mind that griefing has only become easier and more popular; my hope is that the on-going griefing of Ether will end on a happy note for the natives and my heart goes out to them today because the former native delegate was ejected from the region, which is never a good sign with The Black Riders.

Speaking of The Black Riders …

<Ravania> I guess no raid-org ever took 69 delegacies in one update

<Ravania> with 6 people

<Unibot> 69 with 6 people' date=' sounds like some kind of orgy

<Ravania> Well, Uni; Earth and I were teamed up and then you had Tim and Hodori and Cormac and Johz I guess

<Unibot> Leave my girlfriend alone :P

* +Karpy notes down for gossip column

<Unibot> None of your strange sex positions, go shoo :P

<Ravania> can't, she needed an endo :P

<Earth> You should detag more, m'dear. Clearly this is a sign of that. :o

<Earth> Your endo's the best endo, after all. ;P

<Earth> Okay this is weird.

<Earth> Actually you'd probably say -my- endo is the best endo. ;P

<Unibot> It was better when I was allowed magic endos.

* Earth hides before this gets weirder

<madjack> so

<Karpy> good timing madjack

<Cormac> Madjack's solution to the weirdness was apparently to impose an awkward silence. :P[/quote']

To clarify: what Lieutenant Ravania is talking about is his new record; he and a group of five other Merrypeople, restored sixty-nine regions in one update. So sixty-nine regions are less spammed by invaders than they were a few days ago, which was an impressive event. After the Greenwood Band did that and then also trounced The Black Riders during an update, stopping them ten times from invading successfully. After these successes, I commissioned the Meritorious Unit Award to bestow upon the involved troops (you can read more about this in our Press Secretary’s statement), but then they went and out did themselves today by defending thirteen regions against The Black Riders (who only managed to take five regions during update). Thanks to the FRA Rangers for helping out too! So now I have to shelve out three sets of service medals; I’m not Rumpelstiltskin, guys!

medal_detag_icon.pngmedal_defense_icon.pngmedal_detag_icon.png

* Ravania bounces

<Ravania> Sssssso ssshiny' date=' my precioussss[/quote']

Other than those kickass instances of defending and restoring, I know that the Greenwood Band has been on the field every night, stopping invasions and cleaning up regions as per usual. In one incident, The United Defenders League piled into Anarchy to defend it from an invasion by ComuCRVG (“Uma região de Vascaínos!”) and was joined by The Founderless Regions Alliance and The Ten Thousand Islands Treaty Organization in a strong showing of defender unity; also, thanks to Osiris’s Medjai Guard for also making an appearance.

Oh yeah, I nearly forgot: so if you were living under a rock for the past week, there was this Condemnation, that was up to vote in the World Assembly, for The United Defenders League proposed by that fallen defender.. you know, the one caught raiding with that forum destroyer dude (94 Block)? Yeah, well anyway, that Condemnation was soundly defeated 7,539 votes to 3,654; kudos to The South Pacific, The East Pacific, Lazarus and Capitalist Paradise and everyone else who voted or campaigned against the Condemnation. There was also a huge popular vote against the resolution -- so I'd also like to thank all the individual voters who took the time to read the resolution and helped defeat it. If you’re looking for a balanced review of the Condemnation then I think if I were you I would read A Mean Old Man (Topdop)’s review of the ill-fated proposal.

<Karpy> And I'm civil unioned to someone, for some reason I can't remember.

<Karpy> I think it had something to do with sandwiches.

*sighs* Oh NS Marriages; yes, Earth and I are married as of December 2, 2012. It was a lovely wedding and a big shout goes out to our Press Secretary who served as the Reverend (Cormac!), in addition to Tim who served as our organist and Koth and The Blaatschapen who played the part of drunk uncles interrupting the service; at least I think the last two were acting. You can read the entire transcript of the wedding here.

As a point of interest, it was this day one year ago that Lieutenant Ravania joined The United Defenders League and two years ago that Lieutenant Ravania joined NationStates. You rock bud; Happy Birthday!

Well, I hope you enjoyed the update. I am tired now, must.. resist the urge to watch more.. claymation. Also, remember to approach me about caroling if your region is interested. At last: here’s your Moment of Zen,

<Earth> Uni can pull updaters out of his butt. :P

<Bel> Indeed he can :P

<Bel> Midas shat gold' date=' Uni shits updaters

<Earth> They're just shit at it. ;P

<Bel> Yup

* Bel was a Uni butt shit updater to begin with[/quote']

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A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of The United Defenders League,

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! t7764.gif

Jingle Bells, Jakker Smells, Detag every day. Oh, what fun it is to have applied, endorse and dossier! HEY! Hehe, oh the holidays, how I love you. It’s been very merry indeed in the Sherwood Forest. We’re just wrapping up our series of cultural events. The fun started last week when we ran our “Secret Santa” event; a lot of thought was put into the gifts and it was great to see that participants had went out of their way to make their gift something special.

My gift to our Press Secretary, Cormac Stark, started things off since I surprised him with a wrapped “Lieutenant” badge – say hello to our newest Lieutenant, Cormac Stark! Cormac has been diligently working as both a Senior Merryman and as our Press Secretary for months; this promotion was long overdue and I am glad that I may have, just maybe, caught him off guard with the presentation of the promotion.

<Cormac> OMFG

Heh' date=' but alas my present [i']still[/i] didn’t steal the show, in regards to Secret Santa, although I tried. A lot of presents were nations (or defender “switchers” as well call them), but some thought out of the box a bit more. Flowering Staplers presented St. George with a poem, Zwangzug presented Tim with a dialogue written by herself between talking chess pieces as well as an illustration of the story, Ravania got Hodori (a car-enthusiast) a late-updating region named Cars for him to stash his defender puppets with a really purdy World Factbook Entry, Hodori did his own really impressive illustration as a present for Ravania and Earth made Johz a festive flag. However, I think Chief Lieutenant Solm really went all out with his present for Senior Merrywoman Astarial – a special modification to NationStates that altered the site in unexpected places to tell Astarial just how special she is. She seemed to be *cough* happy with this present.

* @Unibot hangs up mistletoe above Solmie and Asta

* @Asta pounces Solmy and kisses him thoroughly

Nonetheless' date=' we did other events to celebrate the Holidays too.

<Soviet_Canuckistan> did I miss pirated movie night?

<Tim> SovCan, yup

<Soviet_Canuckistan> darn

Yes, you missed Movie Night, you silly duck. But a lot of people did not! Regulars, in great numbers, showed up for this monthly tradition. We were also blessed with the presence of Communist Quinntopia of NS Weekly and Evil Wolf, who was just pleasantly surprised we didn’t ban him like usual. Movie Nights are special cultural events: we open #udl, our military communication channel, to the public and watch a film together. This Christmas, merrymen and merrywomen chose to watch “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”, I think, in an attempt to see how many of its memorable dialogue that I and Lieutenant Tim could recount verbatim.

<Unibot> We're caroling' date=' Baza. :)

<Bazalonia> Good king winc whatever his name was looked down

<Bazalonia> on the feast of steven

* @Zwangzug will parody that next, Bazalonia, just for you :D

* +Bazalonia feels special

* +Bazalonia cancels the stab Zwangzug appointment he had placed in his diary[/quote']

* Avakael has joined #udl

<Avakael> oh

<Avakael> CAROLING

<Avakael> f**k that

* Avakael has left #udl

Falla la la la' date=' la la la.[/i'] Indeed. The United Defenders League also was out caroling on Christmas Eve to various regions across NationStates that permitted our caroling. Carolers used Christmas-themed puppets and were advised not to make any references that could be construed as recruitment. We visited many regions, but two of them stick out in my mind. We caroled in The New Inquisition, I suppose as a holiday break from the hostilities and additionally, we got the opportunity to carol in The South Pacific just at the precise moment that the region elected their new delegate, Milograd. Some may remember Milograd from when he served as the Chief Lieutenant of The United Defenders League; nowadays however, he holds the ceremonial title of Guardian with the Greenwood Band. I am certain that Milograd is up to the task of leading the region and will do well as delegate; likewise, I am also glad to hear that The United Defenders League could be of some service to The South Pacific to aid in a safe delegate-transition over Christmas Eve. With Milograd taking the reins as The South Pacific delegate, we’ve had the pleasure of welcoming their former delegate, Hileville, back to The United Defenders League. As I said in his application, Hileville served his region well and, I know from past experience, he will serve native rights with just as much passion. We’re happy to have him back on the team.

It hasn’t just been fun cultural events though, we’ve been working around NationStates. Two of the more unusual missions would be Texas and Christmas. A few days, NewTexas, delegate of Texas, accidently resigned himself from the World Assembly due to a new “issue” that has an option which can remove players from The World Assembly – the full drama unfolds here; I’d advise any delegates or players concerned about their endorsement count to educate themselves about the issue because it sounds like it is staying. Fortunately, one of our members, Douria, spotted the accidental resignation and quickly called troops in to support NewTexas before he lost his record of 8 years 87 days as delegate. Furthermore, we have an ongoing mission in Christmas, since we’re protecting the region, at the request of natives, from possible trouble-makers. Generally speaking, at this time of the year, Christmas has been raided, so we’re happy to start a new tradition for the region.

Otherwise, the past week or so has been –quieter–, in regards to raider activity, but we have had some important missions.

<Cormac> I just realized the awesome potential for "Damn it Tim" jokes based on Dr. McCoy's "Damn it Jim" lines from the original Star Trek. This has been your sci-fi nerd moment of the day.

Yes' date=' dammit Tim. If it wasn’t for you and your keen sense of timing, I wouldn’t have to keep handing out military ribbons to our soldiers for successful liberations. The United Defenders League has had a series of successful liberations over the past few weeks, first in Transylvania and Italy, to free those regions from The Cat Burglars. Then we also stopped The Red Fleet from occupying and passwording Comintern without native approval. Additionally, we got a rare opportunity to work with some new organizations, The Right to Life Army and the Coalition of Catholic States, to liberate “RORMs” from occupation by ILLUINATI. ILLUINATI had instructed natives through RORMs’ World Factbook Entry : "To all natives of the region RORMS, [we'] invite you to join ISIS and work for the largest and most effective intelligence and sabotage agency in the NS world." I guess, you could say that we invited them to a can of whoop-ass.

Those who participated in said missions received the following Military Ribbons:

Transylvania.pngcomintern.pngItaly.pngRORMS.png

(From left to right: Transylvania, Comintern, Italy and RORMS)

Alrighty, so it’s at this point I should admit that I won’t be around much this week since I’m going on vacation with Lieutenant Earth *coughs*, off-duty of course. I am afraid you’ll have to wait for a week more than usual for your bi-weekly embassy update. Nonetheless, I’ve instructed my officers to hold the fort down when I am gone and established a chain of command from Chief Lieutenant Solm to Lieutenant Ravania and then Lieutenant Sovreignry. I may or may not have given my lieutenants a comprehensive set of objectives and reminders to guide them while I am away *chuckles*. Nonetheless, tomorrow, after I fly out tonight to meet with Lieutenant Earth, The United Defenders League is going to organize an intimate little Skype chat between any of our members who want to talk with one another – should be a lot of fun.

Stay safe everybody and I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Here’s your Moment of Zens:

<Waga> also if you can change my mask to militia' date=' I put up my application yesterday and need to see the training manual

* Tim slaps Solm around a bit with a large trout

<Solm> What!?

<Solm> Wat!?

<Solm> Something happenign!?

<Tim> Waga

<Tim> Masking

<Tim> Militia

<Solm> WHERE TO MOVE!?

<Solm> I NEED TO MOVE!?

<Solm> WHERE!?

<Solm> oh

<Solm> WAGA!

<Solm> CONGRATULATIONS!

<Solm> Crazily masked

<Solm> Waga has been

<Waga> thanks solm!

<Earth> what?!

<Tim> what?

<Tim> What happened Erf!

<Earth> ? [/quote']

<Earth> I am not driving my sister's vagina!

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

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Happy (belated) New Years, everybody. The United Defenders League's New Year resolution is to be bigger, better and more resilient than the year previous. 
 
It’s been some time since our last update. As I said, I was away for a week or so, then we spent the rest of this week preparing The United Defenders League for its annual reboot – with a darker backstory, a Hans Zimmer soundtrack and ninjas, I would say we’re well prepared for the coming year. Kidding of course, Hans Zimmer wasn’t available, but we will be approaching our organization’s administration differently this year. The message I will be conveying to our Chiefs of Staff is this list of priorities:
 
First, we need to continue our recruitment efforts by spreading the message of the defender cause, but likewise, we need to change minds. Recruitment, in years previous, was a more dependable process because the defender ethos pitched a compelling argument and, subsequently, a larger tent.  This requires a more robust communications program. Instead of having an individual Press Secretary, our Press Secretary will now be a NationStates account which can be used to post many different articles on certain subjects from approved commentators. 
 
Second, we need to innovate technologically – conduct studies to optimize timing. Ultimately, what works for invaders, will not work for us. We’re constrained by larger troop selections which cannot perform the same maneuvers; therefore we need to tailor our timing system to fit what we do and how we do it. But likewise, we need to innovate in how we think about defenderism. Defenderism isn’t some distant or contained ideology within a sphere of other ideologies, it’s an understanding of liberty, freedom and peace that has roots in many political ideologies (i.e., Liberal Democratic thought, Christian thought, Libertarian thought) on the political “left” and “right”.  This has major implications for our foreign affairs – our natural allies are those regions who are already comfortable with being ideological. 
 
Since the fall of the Red Liberty Alliance, the moderate left has often been overlooked; with our new foreign affairs attaché, Eggy216 (who some may recognize from Social Liberal Union where he serves as Minister of Foreign Affairs), I hope we can convey a new spirited message of commonality. Our values of self-determination, liberty and freedom of speech are their values. Likewise, I am happy to expand our base of foreign affairs attachés to include: Synaxis (delegate of the defender-catholic region, Coalition of Catholic States), Ognjen Ahmadinejad (a strong voice against invader oppression in the Muslim community of NationStates, who is also serving as the delegate of Islamic Republic of Iran) and Afforess (more known as Capitalist Paradise’s Secretary of Interior and Forums). These appointments reflect some major developments for defenderism in the Christian, Islamic and Libertarian communities, where we also share values of peace, bellum iustum and the just acquisition of property.  
 
Innovation requires creativity, drawing connections and paying close attention to developing trends for emerging demographics.  As a first step, I have created an entirely new discussion thread for The United Defenders League to begin the New Year.
 
Alright, enough of this blathering. What have we been doing here besides talking? Well we just had a very successful liberation last night in RORMs. The community of Region of Reunited Muslim States moved to RORMs to flee the destruction of their original region at the hands of The Black Riders, now The Black Riders were back to finish “the job”. But The United Defenders League with the help of The South Pacific Army, Right to Life Army, Coalition of Catholic States, Medjai Guard, The Founderless Regions Alliance and The North Pacific Army, was able to liberate RORMs in a decisive 30-22 victory.  RORMs is “ever grateful,” explained Johor, the native delegate, “to its powerful and loyal allies. Thank you, liberators”. You are welcome, Johor.  All participating soldiers will receive the following military ribbon:
 

RORMS2.png

 
Additionally, The Greenwood Band was involved with support missions in The Pacific and United Kingdom, where we helped neutralize threats to regional security.
 
* Neavilos showers Luna with fun.
<Jormengand> Hmm. Uni said that I should go here to talk to, and I quote, "The gang." Some gang right here. :P
* Luna sighs
<Luna> I am tough
<Luna> Like any gang member
<Luna> GRRR!

 

 
<DeCole> So, what do i have to do now? :)
<Unibot> Decole, you apply for membership here: Kantrias
<Unibot> Erk
<Unibot> No
<Unibot> Copy/Paste ERROR
<Tim> D:
<Tim> Bad UNIBOT
<Tim> BAAAD
<Earth> XD
<Earth> BAHAH
* Tim troutslaps Unibot for this :P
<Unibot> http://s4.zetaboards.com/UDL/topic/8778084/1/ < this is where you apply, DeCole
<Tim> ^yes :D
<Tim> there
<Prussia> xD
<Prussia> There we go
 

 

 
Ah yes, the joys of recruitment. As I said, we’re looking to expand and we’ve welcomed a lot of new members in the past week to The United Defenders League.  Welcome to Democratic Republic of United Koryo, Imbrinium, Andarium,SCONN,Nationalist Eminral Republic,Arcomo,Jormengand and DeCole. Additionally, we’re welcoming back Belschaft this week, who has decided to rejoin us.  Likewise, we are just in the process of greeting A Mean Old Man to The United Defenders League. A Mean Old Man has a respected history in the intelligence field, since he was the one who led the investigation that eventually identified Frak (a couper) as Haxstree, a member of The South Pacific. Others may know A Mean Old Man for his distinguished delegate service in The East Pacific or his career in The World Assembly, where he was eventually commended. A Mean Old Man has taken on the role of Chief of Intelligence for our organization and will be working with his newly appointed Vice Chief of Intelligence, Lieutenant Mahaj. In additional news, we have announced that Lieutenant Cormac Stark has ascended to the Hall of Honour in recognition of his past service and furthermore, Strawberrry Fields has received the Order of Danmarkland for his fortitude in the face of Hippiedom's continued occupation. 
 
<Unibot> I want to hug Mahaj until he's blue
<Mahaj> oh well in my culture being blue is one step closer to godliness

 

 
Hmmm, Culture. It is my esteemed pleasure to announce the formation of the Chieftaincy of Culture which Lieutenant Earth (aka Lyanna Stark) will be leading. Culture is often an unappreciated focus in NationStates, but it’s probably one of the more vital ones in all actuality and I’m pleased to have someone so experienced in the field leading the task. You can expect more events like the Christmas events to take place in the near future. 
 
Speaking of Earth and Christmas. Guess what Earth got me for Christmas?? EEK. Look at it in all of its glory:
 

pick.png

You could say this is me ending the Update on a high note.

 

 
Okay, I’m done writing. Love you all. Here’s your Moment of Zen:
 
<Asta> I went digging through logs for Earth's quote about driving her sister's vagina
<Asta> and searching "vagina" pulled up *way* too many false positives to use
<Asta> :|
<Asta> We... may have an obsession >_>

 

 
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A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of The United Defenders League,
 

<OrangeRock> Is Unibot III on?

<Carta> No, only Unibot is here.
 
*sniggers*. Thanks for the introduction, Carta. It has been a relatively quiet week on the battlefield for The United Defenders League, so a lot of our work this week has been administrative activities (sekrits), which I cannot fully disclose – honestly it’s been pretty busy, I have already enjoyed a nice 1 – 6 PM power-nap (
). Although we did liberate CrazyKids and additionally, United Kingdom of Britain and Ireland against the Brotherhood of Malice. Participants of the latter liberation received this colorful little military ribbon: 
 
UKBE.png

 
Some major victories on the battlefield were also secured against The Black Riders and The Brotherhood of Malice, which are mentioned in The Sherwood Post’s articles, The Black Riders Ridden Out of Town and It's Been A Hard Day's Night!. The Sherwood What?? Yes, that’s right, we have replaced the old Office of the Press Secretary with The Sherwood Post so that no one person will ever again have to face the collective fury of the angry editorials. NO MORE PLEASE! Another good article while we’re on the subject was a speech released recently by Lieutenants, Earth and Sovreignry entitled  The Servants of Good which, I know, got us all motivated for the coming month. 
 
Also noteworthy from those articles is the intercepted refound of Ether which ended a fifty-two day occupation for The Black Riders in failure; cue the partisan raider response regarding how the actual end goal was to lose the refound. MIND BLOWN. Lieutenant Earth caught the refound (and cheered quite loudly). We’re still in the process of handing off the region to the existing natives, all in good time. 
 

<Johz> "<Bel> Midas s***s gold, Uni s***'s WA's :P"  <--  This is true.  The key issue is cleaning them up and explaining to them how they ended up in Uni's gut in the first place.

 
Hehe, we’re happy to be able to say that my gut is the golden goose that keeps giving. North Wiedna has returned to the Greenwood Band! But other members who have joined this week include United Federation of Canada, Pretty Awesome Persons, Nouvelle Navarre, Levivania, The Inevitable Syndicate, The Northeast, Ceannairceach, Hemenster and New Andureo! Welcome to The United Defenders League, gentlemen, I know you’ll do excellent. *salutes*
 
Out of that list, The Inevitable Syndicate snagged a Monthly Award, but Arcomo got the coveted Newcomer Award. Also Hileville received the Best Liberator of the Month Award, which is his first award with us I believe, so congratulations to him as well! You can see a list of the rest of the Monthly Award Winners here. However, Milograd has approached our members about a possible new Monthly Award entitled the “Milo of the Month Award" to “be presented to whoever did the best job at being Milo over the course of a month”. Administrative deliberations are still in progress for said award but I suspect it’ll get put in a backlog behind the “Ravania and Johz of the Month Award” for most adorable dynamic duo. 
 
Lieutenant Earth received the Chief’s Award for putting a lot of work into a rather extensive overhaul of our counter-intelligence systems. Absolutely no one on the staff –at all– is envious of Lieutenant Earth for having the opportunity to do this. Earth makes the …world …. go around! 
 

* Herrebrugh has joined #udl

<@Unibot> Hi!
<@Unibot> :)
<Herrebrugh> Bonjour :P
<+Riemstagrad> dag herrebrugh, hoe gaat het ermee?
<Herrebrugh> Goed hoor, met jou? ;P
<@Unibot> Do you two ….know each other? :P
 
Apparently they did know each other, actually. Ah diplomacy – what strange people and foreign tongues you bring to our humble IRC channel. Our diplomatic core has been hard at work, pursuing our foreign affairs agenda. If you haven’t heard yet, Drakkengard, a respected and just absolutely lovely member of The East Pacific, has taken on the position of Vice Chief of Feeder and Sinker Affairs and has been full of bright ideas – Chief Hilleville and I welcome him to the team. I couldn’t ask for a more experienced and respected diplomatic presence in the feeder communities. Meanwhile, Chief Bazlantis organized the first cabinet meeting between his foreign affairs attachés last week before sending them on their merry way to scour NationStates. 
 
On a few final notes, Movie Night is going to occur Saturday, February 9 at 7:30 PM EST, next week on our military IRC channel (#udl). I have absolutely no idea what the movie will be, but I don’t think we ever got to watch “Hook”, so maybe we’ll watch that. Moreover, Lieutenant Ravania has been sick with the flu and we wish our Busy little Beaver well. 
 
Alrighty, thanks for reading; here’s your Moment of Zen:
 

<Solm> Unibot is just a figure head nowadays

<Asta> Nah, Elu is chief.
<Solm> Ravania runs everything behind the scenes
<Earth> why the f*** would Unibot be the public face?
<Earth> like honest to god
 
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DEFENDERS SAVE ASIA IN A CLOSE VICTORY AGAINST KANTRIAS!

02 February 2013

 
The two endorsements's that made the difference:
 

33 minutes ago: The Derrak Quadrant was endorsed by The Zombies of Land filled with People.

33 minutes ago: The Derrak Quadrant was endorsed by The Republic of Peter Pan and the Lost Boys.
 
UDL and TITO. Nice job, Unibot and Land Filled with People!
 
- Staff Reporter, The Sherwood Post.
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-ANNOUNCEMENT-

 

Just two things:

 

1. I'd like to invite EVERYONE to the UDL Military Channel (#udl on Espernet) for Movie Night; tonight at 7:30 PM EST. No idea what the movie will be yet (I've heard "Hook" as a suggestion). Movie Night is where we all watch a film at the same time and comment in the channel -- it's quite fun. Highly Recommended.

 


 

2. If you're interested, you may enjoy this speech that I just presented our merrymen yesterday, entitled "Common-Sense Ethics".

 

- Uni
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A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of The United Defenders League,
 
Poor Wednesdays, they always get a bum reputation.
 

* Bazalonia hugs Solm and Earth

* Bazalonia doesn't stab either
* Solm huggles
<Bazalonia> Today is No stabbing Wednesday :(
<Solm> @Baz: Good :D
<Bazalonia> No, it's not good
<ABK> D:
<Bazalonia> It's bad, it's very bad :(
 

<Zark> it's lazy Wednesday, I doubt anyone's gonna raid something

<Tim-Opolis> It's lazy "every single f***ing update" these days :P
 
As Lieutenant Tim joked, there’s no need to just pick on Wednesday — all around it has been a rather quiet week in NationStates. The United Defenders League has seen some military action however, liberating Rome and Pirates, as well as Allied Military States, Libertarian Socialist Federation, ROBLOX, The Marxist Leninist Region and Free Palestine. A few defences here and there, but the “professional” invader scene has been fairly inactive because most of their resources are being centralized to hold The Middle East while that region is unfortunately on the brink of total destruction. A big shout out goes to British Isles, who has been working patiently with us a lot through the past few weeks, especially to identify invasions being conducted by “unprofessional” invaders (i.e., newbies). I think these quiet periods are some of the most dangerous periods of time for interregional defender organization relations, so we’d like to just put out a general blanket thank you to our fellow defenders for sticking through this stint of inactivity of the field calmly and maturely — it can all go very bad when we get restless and competitive over the share of military operations and activity.
 
The “Pirates” Liberation was pretty interesting though. We conducted it against The Brotherhood of Malice — while we had several insider puppets to endorse one another inside the region and then topped it off with a team of defenders moving in later in the day. Congratulations to New Andureo who took the delegacy as our “lead”. The military ribbons for Rome and Pirates are depicted below:
 

rome.pngpirates.png

 
Ultimately, we do this for the natives and I think Lieutenant Ravania put it best when he said recently that “NationStates has never been so safe”. Indeed, safe as ever. Job well done, I’d say. Also, just to follow up on last update: we passed on the founder account of Ether to the most senior resident of Ether (Patrol I).  Seems that he has restored the region, which is nice to see. 
 
In completely random news, Kyzikos is celebrating its first anniversary. This fine region was founded by former Lieutenant Ballotonia — a product of thousands of regions being made in search of a new flagship for the defender enterprise. Kyzikos is the main headquarters for The United Defenders League… the gem of defenderdom … the… fine, the region whose name nobody (me) can spell without either calling it “Kyz” or, 
 

<Unibot> kykizos

<Unibot> Kzykos
<Uni> Kzykikos
<Uni|Uni> Kykzikos
<Unibot> Kyzioks
 
Just give —up—, you bloody fool. 
 

<+Hy> its 2am so im far too horny for a children's film

 
Erm, thanks for that, Judge Advocate Hyanygo. Yes, The United Defenders League did have its usual Movie Night during last week and we happily watched “Hook”. Apparently when you’re older you have a different perspective on parts of “Hook”, so it was a lot of fun. Communist Quinntopia and Pharaoh Mad Jack, also graced us with their presence for Movie Night. In other administrative news, we happily promoted Johz to the position of Lieutenant a week or so ago.  Lieutenant Johz has served with us loyally, almost since the beginning — he joined a week after we publically revealed ourselves. Since then, he has often been the Robin to Lieutenant Ravania’s Batman … the dynamic duo of detaggers. This promotion was long overdue and I was happy to see the Lieutenants approve the promotion in an enthusiastic consensus. 
 
Furthermore, we have a new policy, “Regarding the Fight against Hate and Nazism in NationStates”. This policy was approved by our lieutenants; it received a fairly passionate defense as momentum rose in a recent Chiefs of Staff meeting. The basis of the policy is that we will be continuing our old “Nazi Policy” and we are reaffirming our stance against hate, the oppression and discrimination of minorities and social intolerance. However, we have come to believe that the values of Defenderdom stress upon us that the invasion of white supremacist and fascist regions is not behavior becoming of defenders (regardless of whether they do it “off-duty”). First, our oath requests us to be incorruptible in the face of intense adversaries —  it’s not much of a standard to be incorruptible if we’re doing the same thing against NAZI EUROPE and The Greater German Reich as they do against others (which we deplore), just on the basis of them being especially offensive. Moreover, our leadership has serious doubts whether armed conflict against Nazis has actually done very much good at all — when you make Nazis, the ultimate villain (really the only consistent villain for many political regions)  … you in fact make it “cool” for some players to play the role of “Nazi” in NationStates. We believe that rational and mature dialogue is the best way (although often ineffective) to counter Nazism in NationStates. Just to clarify: The United Defenders League has never sanctioned or organized an invasion against a Nazi region. Our new policy means that our members have an obligation to not participate in these operations altogether. 
 
*takes a deep breath* Okay, enough of that serious bureaucratic stuff. We’re welcoming a lot of great new members to the Greenwood Band this week, including: Common Territories, Matariyya, Birolika, The Holy Therns, Kranstentistan, Kavamkao, Coherent Imbeciles,  Promethum and of course, Monico! We’re also happy to welcome Merryman Lowell Leber back to The United Defenders League.  
 
In other news, The Naivetry Reference Library has been expanding — it now has an Index and a new program where if you submit an essay on NationStates to us, we may award you the title of Doctor-of-Letters (D.Litt). Some new entries to The Naivetry Reference Library include a transcript of the Neutral Territory Conference (Jan 2008), a collection of The Meritocracy Times, a couple Meritocratic essays,  a Francoist Case Study of The West Pacific Dominion and my new essay, “Paradise Found”. Make sure you go check out that last one, heh.  I also adapted some parts of “Paradise Found” to make a recent address to the Greenwood Band called “Common Sense Ethics”. You may also enjoy reading that, it discusses the end of Chief Lieutenant Milograd’s term and the incident that provoked it in The South Pacific 
 
On a final note, congratulations to Lieutenant Sovreignry, who won the Best Newcomer Award at the 2012 Defenders Award, as well as Lieutenant Eluvatar, who won the Dipes Award for the second year in a row. The Sherwood Post has a full (and satirical) article covering the 2012 Defenders Award.  Besides that, erm, cue the Moment of Zen?
 
*BAM!*
 

<@Johz> Karp, I am going to bed, and there is nothing you can do to stop me.

* +Karp pees on Johz's bed
 
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