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Welcome Telegram


Westwind

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Here's a script that I think may work a little better:

"Greetings [Nation],

 

How awesome is it that your nation finds itself in The West Pacific!? 

 

Did you know that dozens of nations like yours have been joining our regional forum & meeting other awesome nations?

 

Did you know that we are sending you this telegram because we believe YOU will bring a unique and valued perspective to our region?

 

SO........

 

If you enjoy answering your national issues but want to see how other nations are addressing internal issue...come visit our forums (http://www.westpacific.org/forums/)

 

If you would like to join with your neighbors in shaping the direction of The West Pacific government...come visit our forums (http://www.westpacific.org/forums/)

 

If you would like to one day become delegate of the region and really start shaking things up...come visit our forums (http://www.westpacific.org/forums/)

 

We haven't met you yet, so only you know the talent you can bring to our region. But we're really excited to meet you!

 

See you soon!"

 

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WELCOME to The West Pacific!

 

~Where the coffee is always fresh, the bar always open, and there's Karaoke every Friday.~

 

This is a feeder region, which means newly created nations spawn here. A feeder is the best place to learn how to play the game, meet new people, and get involved with the game at your own pace. Did you know TWP contains players who have been playing this game for over a decade? We're all committed to helping you become another in a long line of new players who have joined our region and have gotten to know others and left a mark on the game.

 

We have dedicated offsite forums which host our regional government, as well as many other entertaining activities. You'll find these forums here:

http://twp.nosync.org/forums/ 

Make an account, introduce yourself, and make yourself at home. We think you'll like it here.

 

Have questions? Feel free to telegram me, archsium__316948t2.pngThe Grey Wardens of Archsium, or our Interior Minister intelligent_holograms__251031t2.jpgThe Thunderbolts and Lightning of Intelligent Holograms.

 

Always yours,

The West Pacific Interior Ministry.

 

 

This is the message I was running a while ago.

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I want to continue to include the notes about joining the WA (I'm seeing a significant increase in WA's in the region, we've increased by almost 50 in one week) and the note about telegram settings.  Letting them know they can turn off recruitment tg's is a benefit to the new player, and it hinders the effectiveness of telegram scripts.

 

I'll update the telegrams from your suggestions soon.  Thank you ! :)

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New Welcome telegram is a hybrid of the last and your suggestions....

 

Greetings %NATION%, and welcome to The West Pacific!

 

~Where the coffee is always fresh, the bar always open, and there's Karaoke every Friday.~

 

The West Pacific is one of the oldest, most storied regions in the game and it has just about everything any region can offer. It's the best place to learn how to play the game, meet new people, and get involved at your own pace. New players can quickly learn more about the game by clicking on the link in our World Factbook Entry that says "New to NationStates? Click Here to learn more."

 

I'd also encourage you to join the NationStates World Assembly. Once you have joined the World Assembly, I invite you to endorse the Delegate and the Guardian nations listed in our World Factbook Entry. Your endorsements increase the clout of our region in the World Assembly, as well as help increase the Influence of those nations to ensure their ability to protect the region from potential threats against our home. You can join the World Assembly here: World Assembly

 

We have dedicated offsite forums which host our Regional Government, Armed Forces, Embassies and many entertaining activities. You'll find our forums here: http://www.westpacific.org

 

Make an account, introduce yourself, and make yourself at home. We think you'll like it here. If you have questions, Feel free to post them on our forum or telegram our Armed Forces Commander archsium__316948t2.pngThe Grey Wardens of Archsium, our Interior Minister intelligent_holograms__251031t2.jpgThe Thunderbolts and Lightning of Intelligent Holograms, or me, your Delegate.

 

Sincerely,
all_good_people__709247t2.jpgThe Mystic Rhythms of All Good People, World Assembly Delegate of The West Pacific

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

Please note: To avoid receiving recruitment telegrams, or regulate the number of official regional telegrams you may recieve, please visit your telegram settings here:
Telegram Preferences

 

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  • 4 months later...

New welcome telegram:

 

Greetings %NATION%, and Welcome to The West Pacific!
 
~Where the coffee is always fresh, the bar always open, and there's Karaoke every Friday.~
 
The West Pacific is one of the oldest, most storied regions in the game and it has just about everything any region can offer. It's the best place to learn how to play the game, meet new people, and get involved at your own pace. New players can quickly learn more about the game by reading our Dispatch: "New to NationStates? Click Here to learn more"
 
I'd also encourage you to join the NationStates World Assembly. Once you have joined the World Assembly, I invite you to endorse the Delegate and the Guardian nations listed in our World Factbook Entry. Your endorsements increase the clout of our region in the World Assembly, as well as help increase the Influence of those nations to ensure their ability to protect the region from potential threats against our home. You can join the World Assembly here: World Assembly
 
We have dedicated offsite forums which host our Regional Government, Armed Forces, Embassies and many entertaining activities. You'll find our forums here: http://www.westpacific.org
 
Make an account, introduce yourself, and make yourself at home. We think you'll like it here. If you have questions, feel free to post them on our forum or send a telegram our regional officials:
 
- Archsium The West Pacific Armed Forces Commander 
- Charax, Interior Minister
- Douria, World Assembly Affairs Minister
- Intelligent Holograms, Foreign Affairs Minister
- Arcovea, Speaker of The Concillium (our Regional Assembly/Legislature)
 
You may also want to browse my Factbook entries for more information on the Laws and Treaties of The West Pacific.
 
Once again, Welcome to The West Pacific!
 
Sincerely,
All Good People, World Assembly Delegate of The West Pacific
 
 
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 
Please note: To avoid receiving recruitment telegrams, or regulate the number of official regional telegrams you may recieve, please visit your telegram settings here: Telegram Preferences

 

 

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I like it, but I can't help but feel like it needs a brief preface. :)

I think it might be wise to stick something into the beginning that clarifies that the telegram is intended to help them get settled in TWP. Otherwise, it reads to me like a bunch of things that I'm not sure what to do with, and if I were a new player that might overwhelm me.

My suggestion for the beginning would be as follows. I've also added a few other suggestions, but take them as you will.

Greetings %NATION%, and Welcome to The West Pacific!

~Where the coffee is always fresh, the bar always open, and there's Karaoke every Friday.~

I've sent you this telegram to introduce you to your home region and to let you know what the next steps in your time on NationStates are. There is a lot to explore in TWP and I've done what I can to simplify it for your convenience. This game can be overwhelming at first, but it becomes simpler after you take the first steps. In this telegram, you may find some basic information about your region and the many options you have for getting settled here and making the most of your NationStates experience.

First and foremost, you may have noticed that you're currently in The West Pacific. The West Pacific is one of the oldest, most storied regions in the game and it has just about everything any region can offer. It's no coincidence that you started here. This region the best place to learn how to play the game, meet new people, and get involved at your own pace. You can quickly learn more about the game by reading our Dispatch: "New to NationStates? Click Here to learn more".

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I like it.

 

It did concern me that it doesn't open with enough specific direction.  And I also wish I could use the same formatting as for a Factbook or Dispatch.  Allowing some of those additional formatting tags in Recuritment tgs would also help regions distinquish themselves from the crowd.

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  • 3 months later...

Current Welcome Telegram (raw code)

 

[b]Greetings %NATION%, and Welcome to [region]The West Pacific[/region]![/b]

[i]~Where the coffee is always fresh, the bar always open, and there's Karaoke every Friday.~[/i]

The West Pacific is one of the oldest, most storied regions in the game and it has just about everything any region can offer. It's the best place to learn how to play the game, meet new people, and get involved at your own pace. New players can quickly learn more about the game by reading our Dispatch: [b][i][url=http://www.nationstates.net/page=dispatch/id=212735]"New to NationStates? Click Here to learn more"[/url][/i][/b]

I'd also encourage you to join the NationStates World Assembly. Once you have joined the World Assembly, I invite you to endorse the Delegate and the Guardian nations listed in our World Factbook Entry. Your endorsements increase the clout of our region in the World Assembly, as well as help increase the Influence of those nations to ensure their ability to protect the region from potential threats against our home. You can join the World Assembly here: [url=http://www.nationstates.net/page=un]World Assembly[/url]

We have dedicated offsite forums which host our Regional Government, Armed Forces, Embassies and many entertaining activities. You'll find our forums here: [b]http://www.westpacific.org[/b]

Make an account, introduce yourself, and make yourself at home. We think you'll like it here. If you have questions, feel free to post them on our forum or send a telegram our regional officials:

[i]- [nation]Archsium[/nation] The West Pacific Armed Forces Commander 
- [nation]Vulcan Prime[/nation], Interior Minister
- [nation]Douria[/nation], World Assembly Affairs Minister
- [nation]The Fifth Imperium[/nation], Foreign Affairs Minister
- [nation]Benjamin Mark[/nation], Speaker of The Concillium (our Regional Assembly/Legislature)[/i]

You may also want to browse my [url=http://www.nationstates.net/nation=all_good_people/detail=factbook]Factbook entries[/url] for more information on the Laws and Treaties of [region]The West Pacific[/region].

Once again, Welcome to The West Pacific!

Sincerely,
[nation]All Good People[/nation], World Assembly Delegate of The West Pacific

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[b]Please note: To avoid receiving recruitment telegrams, or regulate the number of official regional telegrams you may recieve, please visit your telegram settings here: [url=http://www.nationstates.net/page=tgsettings]Telegram Preferences[/url][/b]
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